Pastoral Care for Pastors

Last week, I taught you about building block one in my time management system, scheduling your week so you know what is happening. If you’ve been doing the exercises, you should have a time map of how you spent your work time before you began reading this series. You should have run through a week where you scheduled your time. If you’ve done those things, you are hopefully already finding some growth in your time management.

If you haven’t done those exercises, I really want you to spend some time thinking about why. It could be that you are already skilled in time management and this isn’t anything new. If that’s the case, I appreciate you reading this series and kindly request that you share it with one or two other colleagues who might struggle with time management.

But if this is a problem area for you at all, and I am providing you with free teaching that could be helpful to you, what do you have to lose by giving it a chance?

Growth is difficult. But as pastors, we are constantly challenging others to grow in their faith. And growth means change. I implore you to do the hard work that goes beyond just reading these articles. Block out some time and do the exercises. You owe it to yourself and your church to continue your own growth. Then, after you’ve done the exercises, come back and continue reading. 

Building Block #2: Plan your week with margin so you have time for interruptions

If the first key to time management is knowing what you're going to be doing, the second key to time management is acknowledging and planning for the fact that you're going to be interrupted in your work. This is where I got caught many times as a young pastor. Each week, I had two or three lessons to prepare for, hospital and general pastoral visits to make, and administrative work to complete. I would schedule these things in my calendar, but I made a crucial mistake: I didn’t plan time for interruptions. 

This meant that if a church member stopped by my office for a visit, which I really enjoyed, I found myself behind in my work after they left. If I was needed at the hospital, again, I was leaving my tightly-scheduled week to go and serve. Occasionally, a Bible class teacher would call in sick and I had to quickly prepare a lesson to fill in for them, and that was time taken away from my constructed schedule. 

When this happens, many people think that having a schedule means your time constraints are too tight and you need to be more flexible. The problem with this is, that more flexibility often means less scheduling, and less scheduling can lead to filling your time with the low-productivity and non-essential tasks that end up taking up too much time. 

My solution for this is to schedule your day and week as tightly as you can, but to schedule some margin into your week so that when the inevitable interruptions arise, you are free to serve without jettisoning your schedule. If you plan on being in the office all day, schedule about six hours of work instead of eight. This may seem counterintuitive to you. I'm not saying to shortchange the church. But, if you plan for six hours of work and you are diligently working during that time, you will find things to do to fill that remaining time. There is always more time for sermon prep. There are always congregants who are available to have a quick coffee with.  There are always people to be called or people to be visited and there is always administration that can be better attended to. These important things often go by the wayside because we find ourselves running short on time.

And, if an interruption or emergency comes up, you will be able to serve without worrying about getting the rest of your work done. Time management is about building discipline into your life. We can give more attention to both our scheduled tasks and other impromptu things if we build margin into our weeks. Don't account for every hour that you intend on being out of your home and in the office. Put the big rocks into place and then build in some margin. 

There have been countless times where I've been doing some sermon prep and been interrupted by needing to dash up to the hospital or by a congregant needing to have a conversation about something. You’ve likely experienced this, too. But when you learn how to do what I'm teaching you in this article, you will be able to adapt to interruptions and serve without stress or worry and be fully present and attend to the person who needs to be served at that moment. And then you will be able to come back to what you were doing and have the space and the time to jump back in and get done what you needed to get done. Building margin into your day, and your week, will be one of the healthiest things you can do. Planning for interruptions is key, because you will be interrupted. It's not a matter of “if,” it's a matter of “when.” 

Beginning to see interruptions as “divine appointments” and growing in serving those who interrupt you is pastoral growth all in its own right. 

As always, let me know how I can serve you in this.

Love First,

Jeremy

If you enjoyed this issue, please “like it” by clicking the heart below and share it with two friends or colleagues. Thank you for your support!

If you’d like to connect further, here are some ways we can do so:

* Let’s schedule a 15 minute call just to get to know each other. Schedule a time here and let’s connect!

* Let’s connect over a powerful coaching session where we can explore your questions and challenges and find clarity and purpose. This special session can be scheduled here at my newsletter-subscriber rate of $100 for 60 minutes.

* Read either of my books on pastoral and church health and drop me a note with any thoughts or questions.

* Listen to my podcast, Discipleship Conversations and let me know what you think!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pcfp.substack.com

In last week's article I wrote about the importance of time management. Later that week, I had a conversation with another colleague who was having trouble getting his lessons done. This colleague deserved some grace because he was responsible for most of the weekly lessons for his church. He was teaching a Sunday morning Bible class, preaching a Sunday morning sermon and a Sunday evening sermon, and then teaching again at a midweek Bible study. He had a lot going on. 

But because I had been writing these articles, and it was fresh on my mind, I said to him, “Let's break down what your week looks like. What do you do each day? How do you spend that time?”

We found that although he was relatively disciplined and was spending time working on his lessons each day, there was a lot of time that he spent browsing the internet, chasing rabbit trails, checking email unnecessarily, and doing things that filled his time but were low productivity or even non-essential tasks. 

So I shared with him the three things that I'm going to share with you in this series, and asked him how his week would look if he did these. I'm going to share that outline with you at the end of this series because I don't want to get ahead of you doing the necessary work to discover for yourself how you spend your time and where you need to grow and change.

Before we get to the three “building blocks” I’m going to share with you, I want to strongly encourage you to complete the exercise from last week. If you didn't create the time map I recommended, go back to that article and do the exercise. Push yourself and be accountable to growing in time management.

Time management is something I would dare to say that most of us think we have a better handle on than we actually do. If we're totally honest about how we spend our time, the results can be jarring. This is why I recommend that you complete that time map exercise before you continue this article. If you have completed the exercise, pull it out so it's available for you to refer to while you go through this series.  

Building Block #1: Plan your week ahead of time so you know what you're doing

Building block number one is the key to everything else. You must plan out your week so you know what it is that you're doing and need to accomplish. This does not mean that I expected you to block everything out in your calendar. I don't mean that, when you look at your calendar for the week, that you should have every hour blocked out. But you do need to know what you're going to be doing on a particular day.

I've learned a lot of this over time, and I’ve settled on using Google Calendar for my schedule and tasks. I set “all day” notifications for tasks that need to be completed on certain days but are not time-sensitive. I use the “all day” feature not because I’m going to work on these tasks all day, but because I have the calendar set to send me a list at 9:00am of my daily tasks. This becomes my to-do list for the day that I work off all day. I can also look at my calendar and see at a glance what the week looks like. I can see appointments that have been scheduled for the week, what days I’m doing sermon prep on, and what tasks I have scheduled for each day. 

For most pastors, content creation is a big chunk of your week. This is true whether you are a preaching pastor, a youth pastor, or even a music director or worship pastor. If you follow this building block, you will chunk down your content creation into its smaller parts and schedule those parts on different days of the week, either as a task for the day or, if it is more helpful for you, as a scheduled appointment in your calendar.

I break down my sermon preparation into four parts: outlining the text and journaling, key word study, commentary reading, and writing. I put each of these on my calendar on a different day: on Monday, I outline the text and journal; on Tuesday, I study key words; on Wednesday, I read commentaries and continue to reflect on the text; and on Thursday, I write. Each of these goes into my calendar as a task.

It might be more helpful for you to schedule a block of time for such tasks. For example, you might block out Thursday afternoon from 1pm-4pm for “Sermon Writing.” However you do this, be consistent with it and stick to it!  You need to know what the “big rocks” of your week are so you can give proper attention to them. No matter what your pastoral role is you need to attend to the content that you have to create. 

You need to also consider the “non-negotiables” you have every week and how you can best schedule them in your calendar. Depending on your role, these non-negotiables might be lesson prep, staff meeting leadership, administration, or visitation. Decide where those things fit best in your calendar. If it’s lesson prep, think about how you can chunk it down into smaller pieces that can be block-scheduled or listed as tasks. If it's hospital visitations that you do every Wednesday afternoon, just go ahead and block it out on your calendar. If it is administrative work that you chip away at three days a week, then either block-schedule them on your calendar or list them as tasks.

Take some time right now and dig into this. Spend some time thinking through this step and doing these exercises. Then, next week, you will have a foundation to build on when it comes to building block two.

As always, let me know how I can serve you in this.

Love First,

Jeremy

If you enjoyed this issue, please “like it” by clicking the heart below and share it with two friends or colleagues. Thank you for your support!

If you’d like to connect further, here are some ways we can do so:

* Let’s schedule a 15 minute call just to get to know each other. Schedule a time here and let’s connect!

* Let’s connect over a powerful coaching session where we can explore your questions and challenges and find clarity and purpose. This special session can be scheduled here at my newsletter-subscriber rate of $100 for 60 minutes.

* Read either of my books on pastoral and church health and drop me a note with any thoughts or questions.

* Listen to my podcast, Discipleship Conversations and let me know what you think!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pcfp.substack.com

“It seems like I’m always working on my sermon on Friday and Saturday when what I really want to do is be with my family. I don’t know how the week gets away from me.”

This young pastor was sad. As I talked with him, it became clear that he hadn’t been equipped in seminary for the practicalities of ministry. Seminary is very helpful for learning about biblical studies, theology, and even theoretical ministry, but seminary does not teach the important but intangible things of ministry such as interpersonal skills, leadership development, and time management. 

The pastor I was talking with needed some guidance on how to structure his week. He was a good preacher, but he was struggling to contain the overflow of his week and manage the different “buckets” of his week better. He knew it was affecting both his performance and his family. He was disappointed that many Saturdays were spent writing and preparing his lessons instead of spending time with his kids. 

I remember struggling with some of these same things in my early years as a pastor. The work of a minister is very often solitary, and the solitude in an office setting can create many distractions. I would do helpful things, like prayer-walking through the church building, photocopying lesson sheets for children’s Bible classes, and reading books about ministry. But these “good things” were keeping me from focusing on what really mattered, and I still found myself going home on Friday with half a sermon to finish on Saturday.

When I became frustrated with not getting my work done during my regular workweek, I began to read and learn about time management. Over the years, I’ve refined my understanding of time management from a tactical, process-oriented approach to more of a values-driven approach. Time management can be anything from blocking out time in your calendar to accomplish certain tasks to making a list of the top three things you need to accomplish that day, doing them, and repeating that process. 

One misconception about time management is that there is a “one size fits all” approach. But I encourage you to think about what works best for you. Are you highly structured and maintaining a tightly-held calendar would be ideal? Do you feel too constrained by keeping a calendar? Perhaps a “prioritization” approach would be helpful for you.

In the second part of this article, I will share with you three “building blocks” that, if implemented, will help you begin to manage your time better.  

But before I get into the building blocks, I want you to take a few minutes and complete an exercise for self-awareness. Make an honest assessment of how well you already do with managing your time. Write down, for each of your last five workdays, as best you can, how you spent each hour. Write down everything you did during the hour. And then, track your next five workdays in real-time, keeping a running log of your activities. This will give you a dead honest look into how you spend your time. 

For example, your previous Monday might look like this:

* 9-10am -- arrive at 8:55, check email, read sports website, read Bible and pray, journal

* 10-11am -- finish journaling, check weather for the week, check email, wander into sanctuary to see if it is picked up or not, get mail

* 11am-12pm -- tidy up office, check email, read blogs, make a list of people to follow up with this week

* 12-1pm -- begin prep for lessons, interrupted by phone call, check email, browse Bibles and books online

* 1-2pm -- put on Christian music to help focus, check email, read a theology book

* 2-3pm -- online video call with other ministry colleagues

* 3-4pm -- finish video call, check email, make a to-do list for tomorrow, try to pray

* 4-5pm -- watch sports highlight videos, tidy up desk, check email, leave at 4:35pm

Does this outline look anything like your day? If it does, I am not writing this to cast judgment or to shame you. In all honesty, I have had many days, working alone in a church office, that looked like this. Good intentions become interrupted and regaining focus is difficult. 

My point in sharing an outline like this with you is to help you honestly examine where your time is going. We often do not realize how much time we waste, or give to low-priority, “easy,” tasks. We end up rushing through the day and as we’re closing up to leave the office, we feel dejected about how little we accomplished. 

Do this exercise with integrity. This may seem counter-intuitive, but pastors who struggle to finish their work each week often don’t have enough to do, so their workweeks become filled with “busy” tasks like email, web browsing for fun that gets justified as “cultural research,” and excess reading. These pastors struggle to schedule their week, or even to leave the office, and end up working into Saturday despite having spent the majority of their week in their office, alone.

I want to leave you with this tension this week. Another thing I’ve found is that pastors are often looking for tactics and new tools. Instead of giving you the three time management building blocks I have for you this week, I want you to wrestle with your use of time, how you use it, and where you could grow in better managing your time. Next week, I will give you the three building blocks.

To prepare for next week’s article, do the following exercise:

* Write out a daily agenda that details what you did each work hour of each of those days, as best you can recollect.

* Track your next five workdays and detail what you do each work hour of each day.

* What do you learn from this exercise? 

* How do you use your time?

* What success do you already see?

* Where and how do you need to grow?

As always, let me know how I can serve you in this.

Love First,

Jeremy

P.S. If you found this article helpful, help me get the message out by “liking” it by clicking the heart and sharing it with two friends or on your social media.

If you’d like to connect further, here are some ways we can do so:

* Let’s schedule a 15 minute call just to get to know each other. Schedule a time here and let’s connect!

* Let’s connect over a powerful coaching session where we can explore your questions and challenges and find clarity and purpose. This special session can be scheduled here at my newsletter-subscriber rate of $100 for 60 minutes.

* Read either of my books on pastoral and church health and drop me a note with any thoughts or questions.

* Listen to my podcast, Discipleship Conversations and let me know what you think!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pcfp.substack.com

It may sound too familiar to say that we connect with God through prayer. That statement may be something we know but not something we experience. We give mental assent to it as a true statement even while yearning and longing for a deeper experience of relationship with God.

My journey of prayer has seen many peaks and valleys. Like in this image, I often find myself descending into a valley while looking ahead to the next peak.

In this article, I want to share four phases I've gone through in my journey of learning how to connect with God in prayer. My hope is that you will find value in my experience for growing in your own practice of prayer.

First Phase: God as the Cosmic Santa Claus

I grew up "going to church." I imagine you could say I was "born and raised" in the church. Yet my concept of prayer was very anemic. Sure, we prayed at church, but it was the "opening" and "closing" types of prayer, along with a blessing offered before we shared the Lord's Supper together. And we prayed at home, though it was mainly a blessing before we ate or my father praying with my brother and me before we went to bed.

I knew that I ought to pray. And I knew that I ought to include praise and thanksgiving. But other than thanking God for the day and for anything good that had happened to me that day, I did not have a robust way of praising and worshiping God in prayer.

This was shaped by my view of God at the time -- a very weak, limited view that saw God as the Cosmic Santa Claus. He saw everything, he knew if I was awake, and he definitely knew if I was bad or good. As an adolescent, and then a teenager, I was fully aware that there was enough "bad" to warrant the Cosmic Santa Claus to not send "gifts."

So my prayers were mainly of the "Forgive me for X, forgive me for Y" variety. I would do this in bed at night before I went to sleep. Many nights I would fall asleep scanning my mind for any unconfessed sin because I was fearful of missing some sin that I had overlooked. What would God think? After all, he was already aware of any sin that had been committed; how could I not be?

In summary, I found this phase of prayer fearful, even while it cultivated an awareness of God.

Second Phase: Finding Other Prayer Exercises

I must have known that there was more to prayer than what I was experiencing because I kept with it and I kept exploring it, especially in my junior and senior years of high school.

At my local Christian bookstore, I'd hunt for books about prayer. I found expositional teachings about prayer, prayer devotionals, and Charismatic books about prayer that I had no capacity to understand at the time. But most importantly, I found tools I could use to help me pray.

I ran across the A.C.T.S. acronym (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication). This was helpful because it gave me a framework. I realized that I could break up my prayer time into different areas. I still struggled with adoration but found my groove in confession. Thanksgiving could be tough, and I began to learn that this "toughness" came out of a skewed sense of prayer -- my belief that prayer was about asking God for things.

During this phase of prayer, I began to learn that prayer was not only about asking God for things, but also thanking God for things. But prayer was still transactional -- it was about making the exchange of thanksgiving and confession, the credits and debits, between God and myself.

Third Phase: Liturgical Prayer and Psalms

In college, I was exposed to a wide experience of Christian traditions. This was more helpful to me than I recognized at the time, and I learned without knowing it from many others.

I was particularly intrigued with the vibrancy that many of my new friends prayed with. It was a vibrancy I was lacking. I knew something was missing in my relationship with God but I didn't know what.

I took an upper division-level class on Christian ministry with a professor who became very influential for me. He introduced us to the Christian classics of spirituality. We were also required to keep a reflections journal where we interacted with our readings. This was what I had been missing! A way of interacting with God that went beyond a transactional give-and-take!

I was introduced to lectio divina, the ancient way of reading the Bible that leads to meditation and prayer. I learned about the form of praying called contemplation. I began to read Thomas Merton, Henri Nouwen, and Eugene Peterson.

I began to see that prayer was at least as much about being with God as it was talking to God.

Eventually, I ran across liturgical prayer and the Book of Common Prayer. At the time, this was the missing link for me -- a way of praying through brief collects, longer canticles, and prayers of confession. And there was even space to read through the Bible in a three-year cycle!

I latched onto this form of "morning and evening prayer" and tried a variety of different forms. The value in learning to pray in this way is that I began to see that by slowly reading through and praying the prayers, even meditating on them, I was clearing out the "busy-ness" of my mind and creating space to simply be with God.

I eventually simplified this form to praying the Psalms. I began to pray through Psalms each month, all 150 of them. I used the psalms as my prayer book, reading, reflecting, and meditating on them in a monthly cycle that taught me the rhythm of giving thanks to God, praising him, lamenting, and finding refuge in him.

Fourth Phase: Learning to Lead Others in Prayer

I've never felt proficient in prayer, but I reached a point where I was satisfied with the way I was stumbling through it. I had fallen into a rhythm of praying the psalms daily, meditating on the Bible, being with God, and making intercession for others.

A good friend of mine then invited me to a Day of Renewal put on by Strategic Renewal and Daniel Henderson at the Chicago Tabernacle. I went to this, along with a good friend from my church, and was absolutely blown away.

At this event, we learned a way of prayer that emerged directly from the Bible. Daniel called it the 4/4 pattern of prayer and summarized it as "scripture-fed, Spirit-led, worship-based prayer." He taught us to read a passage from the Bible, take note of the praiseworthy characteristics and attributes of God, and then pray these back to God in the areas of Reverence, Response, Requests, and Readiness.

The “4 R’s” took their cues directly from the Bible. If God was described in the Bible as a Rock, then we praised him for being our Rock in a difficult time; we asked him to help us look to him as our Rock in times when we would need him; we petitioned him on behalf of others, that they would find him to be their Rock in times of trouble; and we asked him to help us walk by faith in that truth as we ministered to others.

This was life-giving for me. I had learned that prayer was about being with God, but now I could use the words of God to speak back to God. The Bible itself was my prayer manual. If I didn't know what to pray for, I could simply read a portion of the Bible and be overwhelmed with reasons to praise God, or with specific, biblical petitions to pray on behalf of others.

But most of all, in this phase, I was inspired to teach prayer to others. I began to pray more regularly with a network of pastors who prayed together and led their churches in biblical prayer. I began to build more prayer into the men's mentoring group I was leading. I created a monthly prayer meeting at my church.

Through these four phases, I learned how to be aware of God (phase one), to be more thankful for what God has done (phase two), to simply be with God (phase three), and to teach others these ways of prayer (phase four).

Perhaps you've seen yourself in this story. Prayer is both a mystery and a communion with God with great power.

What most stuck out to you from reading about my experience? How do you yearn to grow in prayer? How can you more effectively lead others in prayer? How might I be able to help you in one or more of these areas?

As always, let me know how I can serve you in this.

Love First,

Jeremy

If you enjoyed this issue, please “like it” by clicking the heart below and share it with two friends or colleagues. Thank you for your support!

If you’d like to connect further, here are some ways we can do so:

* Let’s schedule a 15 minute call just to get to know each other. Schedule a time here and let’s connect!

* Let’s connect over a powerful coaching session where we can explore your questions and challenges and find clarity and purpose. This special session can be scheduled here at my newsletter-subscriber rate of $100 for 60 minutes.

* Read either of my books on pastoral and church health and drop me a note with any thoughts or questions.

* Listen to my podcast, Discipleship Conversations and let me know what you think!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pcfp.substack.com

I became impatient last year. My new church was progressing much more slowly than I wanted it to. As a “type A,” I planned for, and expected, results. Of course, the Covid-19 crisis in Ontario, which came with three lockdowns and multiple levels of restrictions, had complicated things. But we had been able to have a really good and successful summer and I expected to capitalize on that summer work and build into something greater.

Imagine my frustration as I saw summer slipping into fall and then into early winter with less and less to show. 

I had time on my hands because there wasn’t really anything else to do as the calendar turned to December. It was too cold to meet outside, restaurants were closed to the public for dining in, and it was obvious we were heading towards another lockdown.

So I did what I should have done from the beginning--I turned to God. I doubled down on reflective Bible reading and listening prayer. And those exercises reminded me to trust God. Rather, God showed me the value and simplicity of listening to him and waiting upon him for direction and answers.

It reminded me of the experience of the Israelites as they wandered the wilderness. (The secular culture of Canada can feel like quite a wilderness!) They became hungry and thirsty and complained to God. They became impatient. But the lesson for me was this--God always provided for them.

Stop Grumbling and Complaining About What You Don’t Have

In Exodus 16, there is a story about hunger. The people were hungry. They complained to God. They didn’t trust that he would provide as they needed. But God did provide. Through Moses, he gathered the people and instructed them that he would provide for them--daily, even! 

These daily provisions, however, came with a caveat--they were to gather enough manna for each day, and for each day only. If they gathered too much (i.e., to hoard, perhaps because they didn’t trust that God would provide daily), the manna spoiled overnight. And it didn’t matter how much they gathered, because each one ended up gathering all that they needed (16:18).

What a wonderful thing--God providing sustenance in the wilderness where it didn’t naturally occur. 

One challenge many pastors face in ministry is the temptation to grumble about what they do not have. Grumbling occurs when we become too focused on scarcity--not enough funds, not enough people, not enough goodwill. In this way, grumbling causes us to neglect God and to look around at our own ability to provide for ourselves, where we come up woefully short of what we really need. When we find ourselves grumbling, it is time to refocus on grace.

God Provides What You Need

I began to see what happened in Exodus 16 as a word for me. If I would trust God, and seek him each day, he would provide everything I needed for that day (i.e., my daily bread; Matthew 6:11). But if I raced ahead of God, creating plans and gathering ideas without seeking him, those plans would “spoil” and become useless. 

And then I noticed that God provided one additional measure for the Israelites. Although they were only to gather manna one day at a time, God made a provision for them so they could worship him. They could gather twice as much as they needed ahead of the Sabbath so that they would not have to gather on the Sabbath and could leave the day for God. If they gathered too much on any other day, it spoiled, but if they gathered twice as much before the Sabbath, it kept, so they could keep the day for God.

When pastors talk to me about being stressed out, ungrateful, and prone to grumbling, I ask them about their spiritual lives: how much time have they spent recently with God? This time with God can take many forms--a long walk, a dedicated time of listening to God in prayer, growth in spiritual disciplines. But what is revealed, usually, is that the grumbling pastor has slipped in these areas. The way to find God’s grace is to create space and time for him to provide his grace.

What Is Your Bread In The Wilderness?

I believe this story provides an image and a metaphor for pastoral ministry in the secular wilderness. We must proceed with daily trust in God, letting him provide what we need as we need it, without “spoiling” ourselves by rushing ahead with our plans. We must also take care to make provision for ourselves to hold God distinctly before us in ways that honour a worshipful relationship with him.

In short,

* Stop complaining and grumbling about what you don’t have.

* Remember that God provides.

* Find grace in the wilderness for ministry.

What struck you the most about this article? Where do you identify with the story in Exodus 16? How are you like the Israelites? What do you need to do to trust God more?

As always, let me know how I can serve you.

Love First,

Jeremy

If you enjoyed this issue, please “like it” by clicking the heart below and share it with two friends or colleagues. Thank you for your support!

If you’d like to connect further, here are some ways we can do so:

* Let’s schedule a 15 minute call just to get to know each other. Schedule a time here and let’s connect!

* Let’s connect over a powerful coaching session where we can explore your questions and challenges and find clarity and purpose. This special session can be scheduled here at my newsletter-subscriber rate of $100 for 60 minutes.

* Read either of my books on pastoral and church health and drop me a note with any thoughts or questions.

* Listen to my podcast, Discipleship Conversations and let me know what you think!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pcfp.substack.com

“What do you want to talk about today?” I asked “Charles” at the beginning of our coaching session. I normally begin sessions with a question like this that helps the coachee begin to think about what is on their mind and would be most helpful for them to discuss.

“I don’t really have a topic,” Charles said. He paused, then continued. “Well, maybe we can talk about our church’s new leadership transition plan.” Charles proceeded to talk freely about this new plan, without interruption, for the next twenty-five minutes. He shared his concerns, his frustrations, his hopes, the relational tension that was creeping into the leadership team, and his overall dissatisfaction with where his five-year pastorate is with this church.

It was clear that Charles was stressed out and that this stress was beginning to overtake him.

We talked for the next twenty minutes or so, letting Charles breathe and reflect. It wasn’t the time to coach him toward some hard goals and action steps. Instead, I simply recommended that he take time for himself each day. I encouraged him to block out the first 45 minutes after lunch and to take a walk through the neighbourhood where his church was. 

I checked in with him after a week. Although he was still frustrated and stressed, he felt immensely better about things and believed he was turning a corner, mentally, that was going to help him adjust and be in a better place to handle the leadership transition.

Practicing self-care is always the right move for a pastor. Making sure to practice self-care before it becomes too late is the difficult move.

I wrote about how to know when you need to make a change last week.

This week, I want to share with you four self-care practices that will help you create space to reflect and recharge, whether you see a storm coming or are in the middle of one. 

These are habits that I have learned to practice throughout my career in ministry. They have been immensely practical and helpful to me, as well as to others I have shared them with.

* Take a long walk

The first practice is simple: Take a long walk. This may seem odd to you, but I suggest that this is the absolute best thing you can do for yourself. Pastors end up sitting a lot. We sit at a desk to study for and write lessons; we sit at a table to visit with congregants; we sit in the car as we drive to and from appointments. We even sit in a chair when we pray or read our Bibles. 

Pastors need to move more. I believe that so much sitting takes away from our creativity. And though it seems counterintuitive, I also believe that when pastors decide they are in a rut and need to pray or read their Bibles more, that very rut will work against their desire to spend more time in prayer and the Word. 

Getting out of the office and going for a walk will invigorate you. Moving will help your body release tension that has settled from all your sitting. Walking, without looking at a book or listening to a podcast, will help you think. Being away from the office while you think will bring creativity into your thoughts and will create space for you to listen more closely to God. 

* Take steps to lead yourself well

A second recommendation is to be proactive with your self-care. Burnout happens when pastors allow events around them to create a downward spiral. The path to burnout begins when pastors are not grounded or anchored because they have let themselves become overwhelmed by external things: the demands of others, artificially imposed deadlines, the stress of the job.

Pastors must be deliberate in establishing self-care habits. These habits are spiritual disciplines. In these habits, pastors create space for God, where God may speak and the pastor can listen. 

Something as seemingly small as giving the first fifteen minutes in your office to a prayer practice will pay tremendous dividends for helping to ground you. Reading a prayer before you leave at the end of the day will create room for God to remind you that you are God’s child and God’s beloved. Taking a daily walk will anchor you in creativity and calm. But you must be deliberate in forming yourself in these practices.

* Seek out and spend time with spiritual friends and mentors

Pastors become overwhelmed when they feel as though they are islands unto themselves. Leading a church, and leading it well, is very difficult and draining work. Even good days will leave pastors feeling empty. Self-care practices will help refill the tank for pastors who practice them. So will spending time with spiritual friends and mentors.

Busy pastors may not feel as though they have time for this practice. However, a lot can be accomplished over a lunch appointment or a mid-afternoon coffee. The point is not how much time you spend with a spiritual friend, but that you are consciously taking the time to withdraw from the busyness and demands of ministry to take time for yourself, checking in with a spiritual friend, mentoring a colleague, or being mentored by one.

This pattern of intentional withdrawal is like a mini-Sabbath for your soul. And, as “iron sharpens iron,” this time away from your ministry with a friend will help you think about ministry in new ways. You will return to your office refreshed, with a new perspective on the challenges you are facing. 

* Establish healthy self-care rhythms

This final point is not so much a recommendation as an imploring: No one will take responsibility for your own self-care other than you. There will always be a new demand, someone who doesn’t respect your day off, or someone who doesn’t think self-care is important. There will always be legitimate ministry needs that arise. It will be easy, and you will be tempted, to forgo self-care practices.

Establishing a self-care rhythm will help you stand your spiritual ground when these challenges arise. A rhythm of life you have become accustomed to is easier to maintain than isolated practices picked up as you think you need them.

I have already outlined a few simple practices in this article that you can adopt. But here is a sample self-care rhythm for you to consider:

* Daily

* As you arrive at your office, block out the first 15 minutes to ground yourself by reading a psalm and one chapter from the Bible and sitting in silence for the remainder of the time.

* After lunch, leave your office and walk around your neighbourhood for 30 minutes without an agenda, letting your mind “breathe” and creating space for God to speak. Take a small notebook to write down anything that comes to you during this time.

* Before you leave for the day, take 15 minutes to read a prayer and reflect on your day. Tidy up your desk and take note of the big tasks for the next day. Remind yourself that you are God’s beloved and that you are leaving for home in order to love your family. 

* Weekly

* Take a long walk (at least 60 minutes) once a week. If possible, walk on a beautiful hiking trail where you will be surrounded by creation.

* Monthly

* Spend time with one spiritual friend, one person you are mentoring, and one person you receive mentoring from. These visits do not need to be long and can be as short as 30 minutes each. The important thing is to intentionally withdraw to be with another colleague. 

What have you learned from this article? Where do you need to grow in your own self-care? What is your biggest obstacle to practicing good self-care right now?

As always, let me know how I can serve you in this.

Love First,

Jeremy

P.S. If you found this article helpful, help me get the message out by “liking” it by clicking the heart and sharing it with two friends or on your social media.

If you’d like to connect further, here are some ways we can do so:

* Let’s schedule a 15 minute call just to get to know each other. Schedule a time here and let’s connect!

* Let’s connect over a powerful coaching session where we can explore your questions and challenges and find clarity and purpose. This special session can be scheduled here at my newsletter-subscriber rate of $100 for 60 minutes.

* Read either of my books on pastoral and church health and drop me a note with any thoughts or questions.

* Listen to my podcast, Discipleship Conversations and let me know what you think!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pcfp.substack.com

Dear Pastor,

I was recently part of a cohort where one of the participants, a pastor, complained about his work. His church was going through a restructuring and it was creating extra work for him. In addition to his regular load, he had people calling him throughout the day to offer their thoughts about the restructuring. He also had the problem of waning attendance, with people not coming back after the church reopened in-person meetings that had been halted due to the Covid-19 situation. Waning attendance meant waning contributions, and, well, you can imagine this pastor felt like his hands were tied.

“What do they want from me?” he asked. “I can’t be in two places at once, and complaining to me about our restructuring plans doesn’t do anything, because I’m not the one making the decisions! And I feel like I’m being blamed for the attendance and budget problems, but I can’t control whether or not people come back to the church--especially after we spoon-fed them for a year-and-a-half with our ‘on demand’ worship services!”

This pastor was visibly and obviously frustrated. We spent more time listening to him, then prayed for him. 

I reflected on this pastor’s situation and what he shared and realized that he was probably approaching burnout. The Covid-19 situation had created a lot of additional stress for him, as it had for many others. He was worried about holding his church together, ministering to the folks who came back, wondering how to minister to those who didn’t come back, and how to solve the church’s financial problems. 

I’ve been writing about situations like this because I believe many pastors are going to begin finding themselves in a whirlwind not of their own creation, swept up by circumstances around them. If they don’t care for themselves well, they will find themselves brought down into burnout, where recovery will be tough. Some won’t recover at all and will leave ministry, bitter and blaming others.

But there are some indicators that things aren’t right and need to be addressed by a pastor so that things stabilize and do not become worse. I’ve outlined three of these warning signs below, addressing three different aspects of a pastor’s work.  

The Warning Signs That You Are Approaching Burnout Are…

* When you are flustered with the day-to-day

The first sign that this pastor was struggling was visual--the affect on his face gave it away. But his emotional description of his day-to-day work-life balance was difficult to listen to. Everything was getting to him. No sooner would he begin to study for a sermon than he’d have a walk-in. He’d try to send an important email but be interrupted by a phone call. Three months ago, he said, none of this would have bothered him, but now, everything gets on his nerves and sends him into a downward spiral.

This inner turmoil over the day-to-day tasks of ministry reveals an anxiety about ministry. You may be feeling out of control, that too much is thrust at you each day, or ministry is unfair. If you are able to recognize this, you will do well to begin addressing your self-care. 

* When people are fraying your nerves

A tell-tale sign that a pastor is approaching burnout is when the very people she is supposed to shepherd drive her up the wall. The pastor above reflected this with his frustration over the constant phone calls, where parishioners offered opinions that didn’t really matter. Many pastors are experiencing the tension of listening to church members who disappeared from the church while it was closed due to Covid-19 explain what is wrong with the church and what needs to change “for them to return.” 

These types of conversations are normal for pastors to engage with. The pastor who is taking care of herself is equipped to differentiate the person’s opinion from who they really are and is able to listen without becoming upset. But the pastor who is struggling with emotional health and is stressed out all the time hears this as a personal attack. These pastors must recognize this as a warning sign and begin addressing their self-care. 

* When you fear “going to work”

I called the pastor whose story I shared at the beginning of this article. He is my friend and I was concerned for him. As we talked, he told me, “I don’t even want to go to work. I dread Sunday mornings and can’t sleep on Saturday night.” It’s not that my friend suddenly decided he doesn’t like his job anymore. It’s that so much anxiety has been built into his life that he dreads the source of that anxiety, and “work” is the symbol of that anxiety.

Pastors who find themselves filled with dread at the thought of Sunday, or who feel a black cloud hanging over them as they arrive at the office, must recognize this as a sign of burnout. They would be wise to take a day or two off and think through their own self-care.

If you find yourself anxious and struggling emotionally and spiritually with the day-to-day tedium of ministry, then you should pause and consider that you are closer to burnout than you’d like to believe. It’s imperative at this point that you address your own self-care. 

In next week’s article, I will offer four suggestions for self-care practices that will help you calm your soul, refocus on your identity in Christ, and walk with humility and substance in ministry.

Pastors must remember that self-care is self-leadership. If you feel yourself hurtling towards burnout, trying to push through and putting on the proverbial “happy face” won’t help anyone. It won’t help you address the hurts, fears, and anxieties that need to be addressed for you to find healing. It will hurt, both others and yourself. Self-care is not selfish.

As always, let me know how I can serve you in this.

Love First,

Jeremy

If you enjoyed this issue, please “like it” by clicking the heart below and share it with two friends or colleagues. Thank you for your support!

If you’d like to connect further, here are some ways we can do so:

* Let’s schedule a 15 minute call just to get to know each other. Schedule a time here and let’s connect!

* Let’s connect over a powerful coaching session where we can explore your questions and challenges and find clarity and purpose. This special session can be scheduled here at my newsletter-subscriber rate of $100 for 60 minutes.

* Read either of my books on pastoral and church health and drop me a note with any thoughts or questions.

* Listen to my podcast, Discipleship Conversations and let me know what you think!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pcfp.substack.com

It is extremely difficult to be a non-anxious presence and leader in this post-covid environment.

Pastor, I am inviting you into a coaching relationship with me. I specialize in coaching pastors and ministry leaders who are facing transitions, leadership challenges, or dealing with anxiety. A coaching session puts you at the center of the conversation. You bring the topic or challenge, and I help you process and work through the underlying issues around that topic until you discover a solution for yourself. A coaching relationship can be as little as one conversation or it can be ongoing.

If this resonates with you at all, please reach out to me today. I want to help you. I can even invoice you for this so that you can apply it towards your professional development allocation.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pcfp.substack.com

Self-care is not selfish. You must take care of yourself, both physically and spiritually, if you want to be effective in ministry. Resolve to let go of the duty-based approach to “doing things” for God and look for those areas in your life where you can build in reflective practices with what you are already doing.

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Having a conversation partner for ministry who is outside of your immediate church context can be very helpful for you. I talk with and coach pastors who are feeling overwhelmed and are possibly burned out or who are going through transitions. It’s easier to approach these problems from the front end rather than the back end after burnout has settled in or a major conflict has arisen. If you would like to talk, please reach out to me and let’s connect.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pcfp.substack.com

Meander through your ministry as though it was a long and refreshing walk and see what happens.

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Having a conversation partner for ministry who is outside of your immediate church context can be very helpful for you. I talk with and coach pastors who are feeling overwhelmed and are possibly burned out or who are going through transitions. It’s easier to approach these problems from the front end rather than the back end after burnout has settled in or a major conflict has arisen. If you would like to talk, please reach out to me and let’s connect.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pcfp.substack.com