What if “I’m fine” was just a mask?

In this episode, Gissell and Charleston unpack the emotional toll of pretending to be okay. They explore how a simple smile can hide exhaustion, pain, and deep loneliness — especially for those who’ve learned to perform strength just to survive.

From performative resilience to people-pleasing, they speak honestly about the cost of holding it all together and what it really means to check in with yourself and others.

In this episode of Patio Talks, Gissell Colon and Charleston Tubbs open up about the challenges of dreaming beyond what they were taught to believe was “realistic.” Gissell shares how her upbringing focused on survival rather than imagination, while Charleston reflects on how he inherited other people’s goals and dismissed his passion for music as impractical.

Together, they explore:

• How childhood messaging impacts dream-building

• The moment Gissell walked away from an internship that didn’t align with her purpose

• Charleston’s journey of trying to be “realistic” while silencing what made him feel alive

• How parents and environments shape what we believe we’re allowed to pursue

• The difference between gratitude and settling

• What it means to unlearn fear and dream without guilt

This conversation is for anyone stuck in a cycle of “being grateful but still unfulfilled.” It’s your invitation to give yourself permission to want more, to believe bigger, and to go after the life that calls to your soul—not the one you were simply handed.

Gissell Colon and Charleston Tubbs explore what it really means to chase your dreams while juggling real-life responsibilities. From family and finances to fear and fulfillment, they share raw stories of ambition, balance, and rediscovering purpose when life forces you to pause.

This conversation dives deep into self-realization, motivation, and personal growth, reminding listeners that dreams don’t die when delayed; they evolve. Whether you’re rebuilding your confidence, reigniting your creativity, or simply learning to trust the timing, this episode will help you recalibrate without quitting.

Outgrowing your job can feel like quiet grief-especially when your paycheck still pays the bills. In this episode, we name the subtle heartbreak of staying in a role you've outgrown, explore the tension between gratitude and burnout, and offer story medicine for anyone holding it together at work while dreaming of more. If you're seeking healing, honest career stories, or support for your next chapter, this one's for you.

Healing from trauma isn't always gentle-sometimes it starts with anger. On this episode of Patio Talks, a podcast centering first-gen and BIPOC voices, Gissell and Charleston explore the real stages of emotional healing: the messy middle where rage, not peace, comes first. Through honest storytelling and lived experience, they discuss how anger can be a powerful teacher-helping us process pain, break generational cycles, and reclaim our stories.

If you're seeking emotional wellness, trauma recovery, or community through authentic conversation, this episode offers gentle encouragement and reflection. Keywords: healing journey, emotional wellness, BIPOC podcast, trauma healing, storytelling, generational patterns.

Ep14: “You Ever Just… Shut Down? Intro

In the conversation, Gissell Colon and Charleston Tubbs discuss the concept of "shutting down," which they clarify is not a sign of being cold, distant, or detached, but rather a response to emotional overwhelm. They emphasize that it's not a symptom of weakness or laziness, but a mechanism the body uses to prevent a breakdown. The speakers suggest that when one experiences a loss of words and a need for silence, it's a human response, not a sign of being broken or dramatic. They plan to delve deeper into the "freeze response," the "quiet crash," and the "silent no more," exploring what it means to shut down and how to recover from it.

Transcript

https://otter.ai/u/tdTvIdXA-mPMN9OlWqZR748bSyc

Outline

Understanding the Concept of Shutting Down

• Gissell Colon introduces the topic by asking if anyone has ever experienced shutting down, emphasizing that it doesn't involve anger or yelling, but rather a state of quietness and no communication.

• Charleston Tubbs clarifies that people often misinterpret shutting down as being cold, distant, or detached, but it can also be a sign of the brain needing a moment to process overwhelming emotions.

• Gissell Colon elaborates that shutting down is not about weakness or laziness but about the body's emotional capacity and its need to prevent a breakdown by taking a step back.

• Charleston Tubbs adds that when words fail and silence becomes more necessary than solutions, it indicates a human response, not a sign of being broken or dramatic.

Exploring the Freeze Response

• Gissell Colon announces the main topic of the discussion: the freeze response, the quiet crash, and the silent no more, focusing on what happens when people shut down and how to recover from it.

• The conversation aims to delve into the reasons behind shutting down, the physical and emotional signs, and strategies to come back from this state.

• Gissell Colon emphasizes the importance of understanding the freeze response as a survival mechanism rather than a personal failure.

• The discussion promises to provide practical advice and insights into managing the emotional and psychological impact of shutting down.

Charleston and Gissell Colon discuss the detrimental effects of people-pleasing, sharing personal experiences of sacrificing their own well-being to avoid conflict and maintain peace. Charleston realized the cost of his actions when he missed his daughter's basketball game to cover a shift, leading him to prioritize his presence and peace. Gissell's breaking point came during a family crisis, recognizing that her people-pleasing was a survival mechanism rather than genuine kindness. Both emphasize the importance of setting boundaries, saying no, and prioritizing one's own happiness and self-respect over others' expectations.

Gissell Colon and Charleston discuss the origins and evolution of the Social Security number, which was initially intended for tracking workers' retirement benefits but has expanded to include credit checks, employment verification, and more. They highlight the normalization of the number over time, driven by corporate policies rather than law, and its use as a control mechanism. They recount a 1938 incident where a fake Social Security number from an ad was mistakenly used by over 40,000 people. Gissell and Charleston advise on steps to protect one's Social Security number, such as freezing credit and opting out of sharing it, and encourage public discussion about its impact and potential for change.

Gissell Colon and Charleston discuss pivotal moments in their careers where they received significant opportunities that changed their lives. Charleston recounts his journey from a shift lead to an assistant manager after being mentored by a store manager who recognized his potential. Gissell shares her experience of being hired at a grocery store despite her lack of experience, which led to her rapid promotion to cash office manager. Both emphasize the importance of recognizing and nurturing talent, and the impact of leadership on team motivation and success. They also reflect on the challenges of mentoring and the importance of individuals recognizing and seizing opportunities for growth.

Henry Johnson, a Chicago firefighter, shared his journey of becoming a firefighter, motivated by the lack of black firefighters in his neighborhood. The hiring process took two years, including a six-and-a-half-month academy. He emphasized the importance of community bonding and the physical demands of the job, including medical training and maintaining physical fitness.

Johnson discussed the emotional challenges, such as compartmentalizing work stress. He highlighted the brotherhood among firefighters and the community's love and support. Johnson also touched on the misconceptions about firefighters and his interest in stand-up comedy.