I’m going to be vulnerable with you. I’ve had big trepidation about this episode and sharing it with all of you. I always knew I would because I’m nothing if not honest but I also allowed myself some time to process it and get to a better place. So I think I’m ready.
Just over 7 weeks ago, my rescue dalmatian, Rory, bit someone. I never thought I’d say that.
Despite knowing her stranger danger ways and reactivity on leash I never thought I would allow that to happen. Yet, I will say I always knew she was capable of biting someone - as any dog is. I just thought that if I had controlled the situation for 6 years, I would always be able to control it.
This experience has been incredibly humbling and is undoubtedly meant to be a part of my journey.
Now I’m going to share the series of events with you that lead to her biting someone and leave you with my top takeaways and how it’s made me a better dog owner.
I have been counter-conditioning my dogs against triggers while on walks for some time now due to some dog aggression they were showing when we came across strange dogs. This involves giving them treats consistently while passing other dogs or people on our walks. They’ve shown great improvement and only have the occasional outburst which usually occurs when another dog is reactive or when we’re not on our treat game. They will rarely redirect aggression at each other. We have been managing great on walks with this approach but I have not challenged them with many social interactions, mainly due to COVID times.
We have also been doing some focused obedience training as I started a 10 week masterclass with them as my subjects. I felt like we were making great progress with this training too and was ready for another challenge.
With this additional confidence I decided to sign us up for a fundraiser photoshoot being run by a rescue in the greater Toronto area. I knew it would be a challenge for us as there would likely be an increase in distractions at the photoshoot, however, I felt our hard work was preparing us for this very situation.
The day of the photoshoot, I took the dogs for a walk prior to our car ride. It was shorter than I had hoped but if you’re a mom you can relate that you’re pretty much always running late. The car ride did not go as expected. First off, the dogs were in the back of the car together, not our SUV, which is less space than they are used to for the duration we were driving that day. Geller started whining or what I like to call “hooting and hollering” midway through the trip which is his way of displaying anxiety and impatience. Rory’s always been the type to follow Geller’s lead so I believe her anxiety was increasing too and as we arrived at the location they started to spar, showing some redirected aggression.
So I stopped to separate them as quickly as possible. Of course, when I got them out of the car another dog starts walking behind us. I quickly take them to the front of the car to regain their focus and do some obedience training to get them in a calmer state. Following this, the dogs led me to the photoshoot location. I don’t usually let the dogs do this but I was in a rush and thought I could regain control once we got to our location and away from the distractions of the parking lot.
Once there, I met Tori the photographer. Geller was pulling toward her so I said that he was okay to greet on leash but that Rory was not. She seemed like a very dog-savvy person.
Then we headed to another area for the photos while I profusely apologized for how misbehaved they were being because Geller is still vocalizing and they’re both pulling on their leashes. It was so embarrassing because I usually have great control of my dogs.
We then start to take some pictures, it was 5-10 minutes of us moving around here and there. They seemed to be improving a bit but we’re all really rushing. We know we have about 15 minutes to get these photos and we’re not really paying good attention to the dogs.
Toward the end, I was using some treats to get the dogs to sit. Geller was still focusing but Rory has received her treat so I let her leash lag a little in my hand. Out of the corner of my eye I see Rory approaching Tori and didn’t think much of it because she was focused taking photos. However at that moment, Tori made a slight hand movement toward Rory (and I meant SLIGHT) and she bit Tori without hesitation. For most dogs that movement would not have been concerning but because of where Rory’s mindset was and all of the trigger stacking that was happening she reacted in fear.
That’s when the photoshoot stopped, we were all completely shocked by what happened. I apologized and shared my information with the photographer. I told her I needed to take the dogs to the car while she cared for her hand. She immediately was very understanding about the dog bite and said that she has a reactive dog herself, I shouldn’t feel bad and that she shouldn’t have reached for her. Meanwhile, I was mortified but it was certainly helpful that she wasn’t cursing at me and was understanding in that moment.
As I whisked the dogs to the car, separating them this time, I overheard that she needed a first aid kit. I was able to offer her the one in my car and pleaded her to update me during her recovery.
It was the craziest experience I’ve ever had with a dog and was immediately heartbroken by the situation.
I want you to know that I didn’t take the photoshoot lightly. I had thought at depth about their training and felt that this was an acceptable challenge for us to undertake. However, in hindsight I realized that we weren’t challenging them with social situations and training around stationary dogs which was really crucial in this scenario.
After this, Tori and I connected and discussed how she was doing and possibly debriefing about this event after we’ve had some time to recover.
Our video call was very cathartic for me. I wanted to ensure her needs were being met by asking her about the rest of her shoots that day and by checking in on her mental health as I know, as an RVT, being bit by a dog can cause anxiety and stress going forward. She said that she did continue shooting after I left and did just fine.
I was dealing with a lot of shame from the experience and having her be so vulnerable and open with me helped me move through that and not get stuck on that feeling of inadequacy as a dog owner. It helped me realize that I did do some things right. I’m not a bad dog owner, bad things can happen but I did try to prepare and more importantly I put in the effort to learn from the experience.
Some of the takeaways regarding the event and its environment were:
Outlining more specifics of what the atmosphere/environment/location were like would possibly be helpful in giving owners another opportunity to questions whether this event would be a good situation for them
Listen to your gut. What chaos is okay and what chaos is not okay? How could we try to pay more attention to the dogs in this scenario?
Have a first-aid kit provided by event host in order to ensure prompt care following injuries.
I am incredibly thankful that it was Tori opposing me in this situation, although I hate that my dog bit her. She said that she would have reported Rory had she thought she was a danger to the public but she at no point thought this or that I was inadequate as a dog owner. These words really put my mind at ease and helped me to grow past this traumatic event despite how mortified I had been feeling.
Here are the reminders from that day that have made me a better dog owner:
Listen to your intuition and gut when it comes to your dogs! I should have paid attention to what the dogs were saying the moment we pulled into the parking lot. Looking back, we should have cancelled our photoshoot and never got out of the car in that state.
I’m not perfect! Unexpected things can happen despite planning; dogs and people are not perfect. However, how we react to what has happened is just as important as getting something right. How we find a way forward or take the opportunity to learn from something traumatic is what defines us.
Be a better advocate for your dog. I hadn’t properly prepared my dogs for this scenario. It’s not uncommon to get complacent with time or when you have had reduced exposure to triggers (especially due to COVID). You forget to employ strategies you once used daily. We used to have Rory wear a vest which says “ Ask before petting” we stopped using it because it seemed as though she never got close enough to people. It always seemed like we could control the situation. I realize now that you can’t really control every situation, stuff comes up, so now we have her wear it every time she is out in public in order to make everyone safer.
As an owner of a dog you may go through traumatic events such as this and it’s incredibly helpful to have a community and guide to help you through it. Between one-on-one consultations, the growing membership community of dog owners and monthly Q&A’s you can find the support you need for your dog ownership journey in the Pawdoption Guide Membership Experience! Join my membership waitlist today in order to be a part of this community in 2022!
This episode goes out to every dog owner who experienced a reactive moment like this and questioned their leadership. Our dogs need us, yes, sometimes we can do better but we cannot always avoid situations that go bad. Take your worst day and learn from it; that is how you can be the best owner for your dog. Lastly, don’t keep it quiet or hide it away. Doing so will bring you shame about it and if you’re ashamed you won’t grow but your feelings of inadequacy will and that will harm you and your dog more than you know. If you’d like to ‘out’ your worst day as a dog owner with me, know that I’m a safe space and will be a listening ear, feel free to send me a voice note or message on Instagram or Facebook. You can become empowered by that day once and for all.
HUGE thanks to Tori Masters for being the amazing human being she is, allowing me to share this story and helping me grow in the face of it.