PD RAW

April’s producers have confirmed that she is still in the house after her last episode on misconceptions and so now, we’re going to turn to coping skills/mechanisms/strategies. We’re going to kick off the discussion with unhealthy/dysfunctional coping mechanisms, including a deep dive into April’s (emotional and functional) dependency on alcohol and the real gateway drug, coffee. Discussed at length is also how maladaptive coping mechanisms are used because they seemingly give the external signs of success for situations where one doesn’t have the inner experience, skills, or memories of how to connect with others or oneself functionally. We also touch on promiscuity and depression. Finally we round out the discussion with some neutral/positive skills such as leveraging the skillset/strong sides of one’s disorder, journaling, putting yourself in others shoes, and doing absolutely fucking nothing, lest you become the burn-a-house-down-and-kick-a-dog person. Hopefully the discussion helps us all better weather the varying waves of life and the circumstances and environments that we all find ourselves in.

April's socials: 

https://www.instagram.com/npdapril 

u/aprilmelodyart

https://www.youtube.com/@npdapril 

Warning: suicidal ideation, sexual abuse and drug use.

Mold has travelled down a number of paths trying to find what works for them, and discovering more and more behind the locked doors of the mind.

In this episode the Paris Hilton of NPD e-girls u/aprilmelodyart swings back on the pod for a light chat about misconceptions surrounding NPD. What’s the difference between grandiosity and confidence and which does a narcissistic person actually feel? Is the particular state of a narcissistic person fixed (overt, covert, vulnerable, etc)? How does the environment and their state affect the narcissistic person’s ability to be diagnosed/seek therapy? What kind of empathy is it that narcissists actually possess? And can you diagnose a narcissist from their eyebrows? Swing on by to buttress our grandiosity and hopefully enjoy the dialogue.

(The audio quality on this episode leaves something to be desired, but that’s ok. We ain’t going for perfect at PD Raw productions, just good enough.)

(Same text as part 1):

Alright, so, maybe this episode ain’t so anonymous, cause we have both hosts Nota and Few and super special, not so secret guest Madame Milkshake aka Sarah swinging by for the first group pod to talk about the light, easy to tackle topic of motherhood. In particular, we discuss being a mother while also being disordered and struggling with one’s own inner environment. How does one deal with the painful disillusionments of one’s fantasies and expectations of having a baby and the postpartum depression that follows (in either partner)? What are some of the (self-serving) reasons why disordered people decide to have families in the first place? Where are you expected to accrue the skills for parenting if your own rearing was underwhelming/neglectful/traumatic? And how can you subtly sabotage your children by seeing them as extensions of yourself or being fearful and anxious of their abandonment, therefore acting unintentionally in ways that subvert their capacity to separate, individuate, and securely step into a more autonomous existence? Just in case it sounds a tad dour, we promise that we have some laughs too, like talking about the heartwarming capitalist tale of social media disconnecting and undermining families en masse; Cluster B protecting the V.I.Ps (i.e. you and your relationships) by telling you what to be watchful for from envious, resentful third parties; answering the age-old of question of whether children are like cats and respond to discipline via squirt bottle/water gun; and how to protect your partner from having mr/ms steal-your-partner (i.e. us borderlines) swooping in by not neglecting their emotional needs! 

Come on down as we discuss how to move beyond bringing along one’s own inner pain, toxicity, and simple ignorance into one’s relationship with their kids to trying to sort out our own shit to show up better for those who (should) matter most to us. 

Link to news article on male postpartum depression 

Alright, so, maybe this episode ain’t so anonymous, cause we have both hosts Nota and Few and super special, not so secret guest Madame Milkshake aka Sarah swinging by for the first group pod to talk about the light, easy to tackle topic of motherhood. In particular, we discuss being a mother while also being disordered and struggling with one’s own inner environment. How does one deal with the painful disillusionments of one’s fantasies and expectations of having a baby and the postpartum depression that follows (in either partner)? What are some of the (self-serving) reasons why disordered people decide to have families in the first place? Where are you expected to accrue the skills for parenting if your own rearing was underwhelming/neglectful/traumatic? And how can you subtly sabotage your children by seeing them as extensions of yourself or being fearful and anxious of their abandonment, therefore acting unintentionally in ways that subvert their capacity to separate, individuate, and securely step into a more autonomous existence? Just in case it sounds a tad dour, we promise that we have some laughs too, like talking about the heartwarming capitalist tale of social media disconnecting and undermining families en masse; Cluster B protecting the V.I.Ps (i.e. you and your relationships) by telling you what to be watchful for from envious, resentful third parties; answering the age-old of question of whether children are like cats and respond to discipline via squirt bottle/water gun; and how to protect your partner from having mr/ms steal-your-partner (i.e. us borderlines) swooping in by not neglecting their emotional needs! 

Come on down as we discuss how to move beyond bringing along one’s own inner pain, toxicity, and simple ignorance into one’s relationship with their kids to trying to sort out our own shit to show up better for those who (should) matter most to us. 

Link to news article on male postpartum depression 

The common mispereception is that people with personality disorders are unaware of their dysfunction and unwilling to deal with it when it arises.

This is, of course, not true. Some people are capable of great courage, and of facing hard truths in order to find answers.

Guest Ruthless talks about deception – including self-deception – personas, fleeting feelings of connection, and gives his practical way of finding a suitable therapist.

The outward behaviours that accompany narcissism are actaully a reaction to what is known as the Persecutory Inner Voice - a harsh, critical inner part that attacks the person and their efforts.

Mud and Nota are joined by Az to talk about how they experience their inner voice.

Few and Madam Milkshake continue their conversation on a wide array of topics: varying types of relationships (home base, fillers, fantasies, self-esteem boosters); sadism and how it expresses itself in a relationship or to others; vulnerability and feeling weak when one attempts to put down their sadism for someone who doesn't reciprocate; shame-avoidance; and the grief that disordered people desperately try to avoid feeling that stunts their healing process.

Find her at: 

https://www.youtube.com/@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE 

Generally people are told not to go out and raw dog life, but that’s precisely what Cluster B Milkshake does with the dark side of the human psyche through her channel and contributions.

Step into the maze of Milkshake’s mind and the monsters that reside there as we get to know her a little bit better and ask the really meaningful questions, like:

• Who in life really does have the spiritual, empathetic chakras and halos?
• Why is repair so difficult in pairings of disordered people and how does an inability to repair or grieve leave one with armloads of glamorous Luis Vuton baggage for the next relationship?
• What kinds of tests will a disordered person subject you to before getting into a relationship, or just shits and giggles out of envy and resentment?
• Is it really always about mommy (and sometimes daddy) issues?

Come on down and have a taste of the toxic ‘fuck you’ soup (not made for kids) as we try to find a way to come closer to the other side of disorders; self-acceptance, understanding, and ability to connect. 

*Self-esteem trampolines and backup pedestals sold separately. 

**Podcast drinking game, spot all the places where the connection cut out and we had to restart our train of thought. 

Highly Sensitive People are thought to comprise around 20% of the population, and are characterised as being more perceptive of, and aroused by, subtle stimuli.

While this personality trait is thought to lead to insight, empathy and the tendency to thing things through very deeply, could it also lead to some negative traits as well?

Nota is joined by Mud to talk through the connection between High Sensitivity and Vulnerable Narcissism.

The Highly Sensitive Person

Understanding the Highly Sensitive Person

Is The HSP Really a Narcissist?