Alright, so, maybe this episode ain’t so anonymous, cause we have both hosts Nota and Few and super special, not so secret guest Madame Milkshake aka Sarah swinging by for the first group pod to talk about the light, easy to tackle topic of motherhood. In particular, we discuss being a mother while also being disordered and struggling with one’s own inner environment. How does one deal with the painful disillusionments of one’s fantasies and expectations of having a baby and the postpartum depression that follows (in either partner)? What are some of the (self-serving) reasons why disordered people decide to have families in the first place? Where are you expected to accrue the skills for parenting if your own rearing was underwhelming/neglectful/traumatic? And how can you subtly sabotage your children by seeing them as extensions of yourself or being fearful and anxious of their abandonment, therefore acting unintentionally in ways that subvert their capacity to separate, individuate, and securely step into a more autonomous existence? Just in case it sounds a tad dour, we promise that we have some laughs too, like talking about the heartwarming capitalist tale of social media disconnecting and undermining families en masse; Cluster B protecting the V.I.Ps (i.e. you and your relationships) by telling you what to be watchful for from envious, resentful third parties; answering the age-old of question of whether children are like cats and respond to discipline via squirt bottle/water gun; and how to protect your partner from having mr/ms steal-your-partner (i.e. us borderlines) swooping in by not neglecting their emotional needs! 

Come on down as we discuss how to move beyond bringing along one’s own inner pain, toxicity, and simple ignorance into one’s relationship with their kids to trying to sort out our own shit to show up better for those who (should) matter most to us. 

Link to news article on male postpartum depression 

The common mispereception is that people with personality disorders are unaware of their dysfunction and unwilling to deal with it when it arises.

This is, of course, not true. Some people are capable of great courage, and of facing hard truths in order to find answers.

Guest Ruthless talks about deception – including self-deception – personas, fleeting feelings of connection, and gives his practical way of finding a suitable therapist.

The outward behaviours that accompany narcissism are actaully a reaction to what is known as the Persecutory Inner Voice - a harsh, critical inner part that attacks the person and their efforts.

Mud and Nota are joined by Az to talk about how they experience their inner voice.

Few and Madam Milkshake continue their conversation on a wide array of topics: varying types of relationships (home base, fillers, fantasies, self-esteem boosters); sadism and how it expresses itself in a relationship or to others; vulnerability and feeling weak when one attempts to put down their sadism for someone who doesn't reciprocate; shame-avoidance; and the grief that disordered people desperately try to avoid feeling that stunts their healing process.

Find her at: 

https://www.youtube.com/@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE 

Generally people are told not to go out and raw dog life, but that’s precisely what Cluster B Milkshake does with the dark side of the human psyche through her channel and contributions.

Step into the maze of Milkshake’s mind and the monsters that reside there as we get to know her a little bit better and ask the really meaningful questions, like:

• Who in life really does have the spiritual, empathetic chakras and halos?
• Why is repair so difficult in pairings of disordered people and how does an inability to repair or grieve leave one with armloads of glamorous Luis Vuton baggage for the next relationship?
• What kinds of tests will a disordered person subject you to before getting into a relationship, or just shits and giggles out of envy and resentment?
• Is it really always about mommy (and sometimes daddy) issues?

Come on down and have a taste of the toxic ‘fuck you’ soup (not made for kids) as we try to find a way to come closer to the other side of disorders; self-acceptance, understanding, and ability to connect. 

*Self-esteem trampolines and backup pedestals sold separately. 

**Podcast drinking game, spot all the places where the connection cut out and we had to restart our train of thought. 

Highly Sensitive People are thought to comprise around 20% of the population, and are characterised as being more perceptive of, and aroused by, subtle stimuli.

While this personality trait is thought to lead to insight, empathy and the tendency to thing things through very deeply, could it also lead to some negative traits as well?

Nota is joined by Mud to talk through the connection between High Sensitivity and Vulnerable Narcissism.

The Highly Sensitive Person

Understanding the Highly Sensitive Person

Is The HSP Really a Narcissist?

Warning: this episode mentions substance abuse and cruelty.

NPD is well-known for causing pain. Nota talks to Mud, who has helped Nota understand a lot about the more difficult aspects of Narcissism.

Both Nota and Mud are fans of Psychodynamic Psychotherapy, and talk about their experiences with it.

Resources

And overview of the different types of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

How "difficult" children and adolescents change when placed in positive environments 

Thinking about how a child ends up turning into someone that hurts someone else

Bullying as a protective mechanism 

Might as well call us Alice, because Joella and Few go down a number of rabbit holes trying to understand the underlying behaviours and feelings around finances and how it affects one’s parenting. How can money be an expression of one’s underlying emotional environment? How does insecurity cause one to stay stuck in comforting yet self-defeating loops? What does it mean to have an inner locus of control? And what the fuck does that all have to do with parenting? Find out with us and if we managed to land the plane herein. 

Might as well call us Alice, because Joella and Few go down a number of rabbit holes trying to understand the underlying behaviours and feelings around finances and how it affects parenting. 

How can money be an expression of an underlying emotional environment? How does insecurity cause us to stay stuck in comforting yet self-defeating loops? What does it mean to have an inner locus of control? And what the fuck does that all have to do with parenting? 

Find out with us and if we managed to land the plane herein.

Facebook group created by a group of therapists and clinical social workers who are dedicated to helping parents with personality disorders through guidance and free resources.

A-B-C Cluster Learning Facebook Group 

Few and the Nameless Narcissist continue their lighthearted chat about the experience of being a Cluster B.