PeakConnection

Seattle-based best-selling author, designer, and online curator Moorea Seal discusses how she uses list-making as a powerful tool to manage mental health. She’s shared her habitual practice with others through her 52 Lists Project, in which she encourages everyone to harness their inner wisdom, strength, and self love through making lists. We talk about the inspiration behind her most recent book 52 Lists for Bravery, and how you, too, can be resilient and brave in the midst of life’s uncertainties. 
 
"It's about rewriting your story. It's about deciding to take the things from the past that are going to help you in creating a new future, rather than ruminating on the things that hold you back. So I think that is really the power of list making." -Moorea Seal 

Audio Engineered by: Blaise Douros

In the pressure cooker of daily life, we're often quick to prioritize our hobbies before our love lives. And when we're left grasping at the frayed edges of what was once a passionate love affair, we wonder how we arrived here. On this episode, renowned sex therapist, psychologist, author, and speaker Dr. Cheryl Fraser uses frank humor to address the importance of making love intentional, whatever your relationship status. 

“Don't take love for granted. Life is short. Things happen and we get far less time with our loved one than we sometimes think we will. Make the most of the time we've got. Invest in love with the person. As I often say, fall in love over and over again with the one you're already with. The perfectly imperfect person standing right in front of you right now.”

--Dr. Cheryl Fraser

Dr. Cheryl’s new online immersion workshop for couples – Become Passion – Create Love that Lasts a Lifetime - brings her work to your own living room. Join her for an 8-week program that includes weekly video lessons, couples skill exercises, guest experts, and weekly live coaching and Q&A with Cheryl. The next session begins 11/1/2020. Register for a free Passion Masterclass here and learn more. Her book, Buddha’s Bedroom: The Mindful Loving Path to Sexual Passion and Lifelong Intimacy is available now. 

Additional resources: https://drcherylfraser.com/quiz/ 

Audio Engineered by: Blaise Douros

 During Covid-19, many parents are feeling overloaded and run down, but mothers and working mothers in particular are being asked to carry impossible loads. In this direct follow-up to episode 008, Dr. Lindsay Ulrey shares the importance for mothers and especially working mothers, in establishing "wellness rituals," but most importantly a strong sense of self-compassion. Dr. Ulrey addresses when and how to ask for help, as well as the benefits of working through hard things instead of turning to substances to numb them. 
 
 "...you can provide a beautiful model for your children to say like, 'When things aren't working, I'm not going to just pretend like they're not working and continue on and numb myself.' You can provide a model of, 'This is what life is about, is getting through hard times. Not the avoidance or the absence of hard things. It's how you get through hard things that's really going to matter.' They're not going to learn that in school. Or maybe they will, but they're going to learn these kinds of lifelong skills from you."
 
 --Dr. Lindsay Ulrey 
 [email protected]

This episode engineered by: Blaise Douros 

Quarantine has become a potential breeding ground for addiction. Mothers already struggle to navigate a culture that’s normalized drinking as an appropriate coping mechanism, and the habits we form in the secrecy of isolation can go unnoticed by friends and family. During a global pandemic, who’s going to question eating cookies at midnight or a second or third glass of wine? Writer, blogger, and sober mom of three Jessica Guerrieri talks about the pitfalls sober parents face during Covid-19.  With brutal honesty, she shares her journey to sobriety, how she applies coping mechanisms from her recovery to pandemic parenting, and how she’s establishing a deeper sense of community for others.   

"Anxiety, depression, isolation...these are deeply uncomfortable feelings. There’s this message that we shouldn’t feel that and we shouldn’t sit in that sadness or that pain and we should find a quick fix to it. Or this should be the way we cope with it, with this glass of wine. But I think the message that’s so important to hear is that women and especially mothers are so strong and capable that we absolutely do not need to use alcohol as a coping strategy. We are capable of incredibly challenging things." --Jessica Guerrieri

This episode engineered by: Blaise Douros

Resources:
https://www.aa.org/
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

Maintaining a healthy romantic relationship is never simple. But it can be even more complicated when one of the partners experiences adult ADHD. Dr. Sam Jinich and Alexine Thompson FSP, LMFT, EFT discuss the importance of recognizing the effects of adult ADHD and hypersensitivity on romantic relationships, and how partners can be empathetic and compassionate towards one another. Learn coping mechanisms and how to address and work together to find solutions rather than focus on the negative. 

"All these gifts, all these riches, and it's just a different way of thinking. And we have to, I think as a couple, it's most helpful when you can go, 'Okay, it's not normal, not normal or right or wrong, it's different.'"--Alexine Thompson

Further Resources: 
Some of the ideas and concepts shared here come from leading expert Melissa Orlov's book, The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps. 

What would happen if you started investing in people first and business second? Actively pursued developing deeper connections over handing out business cards? In an egocentric world, what if we stopped for a moment and shifted the focus from ourselves to others? In this episode, Alex Rosenblatt sits down with “Chief Day Maker” and CEO of Client Giant Jay O’Brien to talk about how he ultimately turned his passion for helping others into an uplifting and successful business. While “paying it forward” or “random acts of kindness” are hardly novel ideas, Jay and his company have created a booming business out of seemingly simple lifestyle choices. He shares his experiences and how to use these elementary principals as a catalyst for living deeper, more purposeful lives.

"It's maybe even a selfish feeling, trying to be selfless, right? Where you actually are doing something for somebody else, but you are able to experience fulfillment and joy just because you know you've made their day or you've impacted them positively in some sort of manner."

--Jay O'Brien, Client Giant Chief Day Maker

Investing in intentional human interactions is rare in today’s tech-fueled world. We distract ourselves with artificial connections--alcohol, drugs, casual sex, work, and even social media. During these days of isolation and quarantine, our distractions are few and our need for kinship is great. In this episode, Alex Rosenblatt and New York Times Best Selling Author and TEDx speaker, Joe Sweeney discuss the importance of being vulnerable enough to look outside ourselves and give to others, even in times of economic and individual hardship. More importantly, putting the needs of others above your own, can ultimately lead to successful business and personal relationships. 

“...when there's a time of crisis, where there's a time of economic instability, instead of going inward, it's counterintuitive because that's what we all want to do. We've got to get outside ourselves, be comfortable getting outside of our comfort zone and reach out to people.” --Joe Sweeney

During moments of conflict, the importance of recognizing what you’re really feeling underneath the surface is key to communicating more clearly in both romantic and professional relationships. Our bodies often react physically to our emotions, sometimes in ways that make it difficult for us to identify the underlying cause. In this episode, Dr. Sam Jinich speaks with Dimitrij Samoilow, a certified EFT therapist based in Oslo Norway, on the importance of acknowledging physical responses to emotional reactions and having the vulnerability to share them with others. 

Here's a quick look into what you'll learn this episode:

-How internal narratives keep us in reactive loops
-The importance of having a sense of self compassion, love, and acceptance for ourselves
-Acknowledging and accepting how our bodies react to certain emotions and seeking out other resources to help us process them
-Feeling connected in an increasingly disconnected world

"We know that from research, that knowing your feelings and being able to name your feelings correctly is calming and soothing and it gives us more emotional balance." -Dimitrij Samoilow

We all have sensitive areas in our lives, memories, and shared experiences. When these are triggered, they can ultimately cause moments of disconnection between our partners and loved ones. Maintaining healthy relationships is challenging--especially when couples get caught up in repetitive negative patterns. As we work towards developing deeper connections and living more authentic lives, these emotional raw spots get in our way.  

So how do we identify these emotional bruises before they leave permanent scars on our existing relationships? Join Dr. Sam Jinich and  Dr. Zoya Simakhodskaya, Executive Director of the New York Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy, as they discuss how to interrupt these raw spots, break negative cycles, and build deeper, more meaningful connections. 

Here’s a quick glance at what you’ll learn from Sam and Zoya during this episode:

-How to react when you feel like your partner doesn’t understand or is not being sensitive to your feelings. 

-How to identify sensitivities or emotional raw spots, which may have been formed earlier in childhood or by previous relationships. 

-The importance of sharing our raw spots with our partners and loved ones, so that we can work together to avoid or be more gentle with those emotional bruises. 

-Feeling safe, loved, and accepted in our relationships, instead of unsafe, undervalued, and unloved. 

-Finding empathy for ourselves and others.

"We all have [raw spots]. You have them. I have them. Every single listener has them. And they usually are things that we had experienced, most likely growing up, but it can also happen later on in life." --Dr. Zoya Simakhodskaya

"If we want to change the way that our raw spots are pressed from others, by others, we need to understand also our role and our part in having those raw spots pressed." --Dr. Sam Jinich

During the Covid-19 pandemic, parents are being challenged in unprecedented ways to meet the needs of their children, while also having to remain socially distant from caretaker resources who previously helped carry the load. In addition to financially providing for their families, parents are also overseeing their children’s education and providing enrichment activities. Some families find themselves in an entirely new state of uncertainty, discomfort, and distress, as they’ve lost their employment all together. It’s a tall order for most, but without a doubt, an exhausting one for single parents--especially if they don’t get along with their ex. 

So, how do single parents cope during Covid-19 while working from home, trying to provide for their families amidst financial instability, and also navigating difficult co-parenting dynamics? Dr. Sam Jinich discusses these topics with Dr. Lisa Palmer-Olsen, a licensed marriage and family therapist in San Diego, California, and her own candid and raw experience with them. Parenting before the pandemic was difficult. Single parenting was harder--now it feels like a nearly impossible feat. Sam and Lisa guide listeners on how to appropriately navigate these new unstable and potentially volatile waters, while keeping children safe and preserving not only their hearts but yours as well. 

Here’s a quick glance at what you’ll learn from Sam and Lisa during this episode:

- When tensions rise, how to de-escalate and disengage before old patterns are triggered 

-Keeping things transparent and appropriate for children

-It’s okay to not be okay, even in front of your children 

-How to cope in the moments between parenting, working, and managing the expectations 

-Resources for outside virtual support

"If you look scared, if you look like you're going under, if you look like the world is falling apart, [children] are going to absorb that as part of something that they're going to believe. They need to be able to turn to you as a rock right now. It's also okay, rocks can have moments where they're whittled down, but you stand back up." --Dr. Lisa Palmer-Olsen