So...pretty long & unusual title. I open up about my recent self-discoveries & some groups, situations, & resources that have helped me accept where I'm at & feel more uplifted then the end of last year, which I will list here in case it's helpful to anyone else!

-NAMI-https://nami.org/Home ❄️

-Personality Hacker https://www.personalityhacker.com/ ❄️

-Natasha from the Temple of Akasha- https://www.templeofakasha.com/ (I am not sure if she still offers the one-on-ones but she has an online meditation community space & offers retreats from time to time & is just a dope & amazing human being to connect with and get spiritual guidance from, if anyone listening leans spiritual or feels like they're having an awakening, processing an awakening, or have other related questions from a spiritual lens). I met with her summer of 2023 so it's been a while, but one of the exercises I shared in here as being super helpful came from a session with her that was very transformational & has just come full circle with its impact, so I wanted to give credit and recommend her as a guide. ❄️

Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power (A method for getting what you want by getting off on what you don't) https://bookshop.org/p/books/existential-kink-unmask-your-shadow-and-embrace-your-power-a-method-for-getting-what-you-want-by-getting-off-on-what-you-don-t-carolyn-elliott/13067847

Book's on my wishlist! I've listened to the author talk about the beauty of paradox, something I've always innately known! 😁✨️

Some more personal resources & shifts in attitude that have helped include:

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-My recent mini family "retreat," which

helped begin the healing of some difficult patterns within my family that were becoming very problematic for my health before this trip happened.

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-My one and only lucky brother (he's just a lucky person in general & I'm lucky to have a sibling who's got my back)

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-LOTs of Neurodiversity Affirming & Strenghts Based Podcasters & Therapists or Healers in the Online Space...along with the good ole MBTI typology theory & Jungian Archetypes

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-Sleeping under the stars (or almost "under them,"/next to a wide window to the night sky...)

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-My best friends (including a new friend I made & very much needed maybe more in my life growing up Desi-American & 1st generation Desi-American to add! Shout out to all my 1st generation Asian, Native American, African, & any other 1st generation American that's listening🙏🏼✨️

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-Silence

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-Special Songs

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-Poetry & Art Therapy

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- & Loki, can't forget Loki lol

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I am going into the New Year with more acceptance and grounding, & a returning connection to my heart-body-spirit space, integrating my recent dive into super heady intellectual thinking world with my intuitive & empathetic side again...very slowly but surely it's happening. I don't hate people, I just have stronger boundaries & more space from them so I can appreciate my own wounded self and heal it better! Which helps me value the time I spend with my inner circle/people that really matter...more. I'm finally finding that balance between the bliss of solitude & the shared joy of connection by spending more quality time with myself so that my quality time with people means more & feels less depleting! Basically recharging my batteries more (& maybe using a better battery/charging environment) so I can show up better and be more present when I am interacting with other humans, & loving myself more in the process. It's really amazing how our confidence is so intricately connected with our ability to sit with whatever we're going through without evading it and learning to befriend our shadows. I'm basically doing therapy with myself, & the occasional nudge and reminder from other people that are supporting me😌🙏🏼💓 Thank you if you are one of those people listening & I wish the same, however scary and intense, but ultimately liberating process of healing...for you! Thank-you for listening.

NOT a Short Episode although when I 1st started recording, I thought it would be... Reflections on laughing at the Tao & the paradoxes it presents, alongside sharing personal anecdotes (both joyful & not so joyful) about how my "holidays" and this time of year has been so far... I go on relevant tangents but reign it in back in to the Tao at the end. Disclaimer: Passive SI mentioned. If you or anyone else is struggling with this, call 988. Also, for anyone that's worried about me because of the passive SI disclaimers on so many recent episodes, I am going to start going to free (essentially group therapy) NAMI Support groups in 2024 & also find an individual therapist again once my Medicaid gets approved, so hang in there with me! Everyone's support & listenership means a lot & my audience may be quite small on here but I do it for you all! For you reading this & for you listening to the end. I hope it brings some value & #realtalk in your life! ☯️

"Possessing The Tao" -- "There was once a diligent & serious student of the Way, who one day asked his master, "Can you possess the Tao?" "You can't possess even your own body" answered his master. "How could you possess the Tao?" "If I don't possess my own body," asked the student, "then who does?" "It has been lent to you by heaven & earth. Life itself is not your possession," said the master. "You don't possess your own nature or your own destiny. They have been lent to you by heaven & earth. Your children & their children are not your possession. They are as molted insect skins, lent to you by heaven & earth. So when you walk, you don't notice where you are going, when you stop you don't know where you are. When you eat you don't know what it is that you are eating. The Chi of heaven & earth is so much stronger than yours but even it can't possess the Tao." -Chuang Tzu. After reading this a 2nd time, I wonder if the Tao is basically the neutrino stream...which we can't possess or even make complete sense of! Anyway, the next part of this tale is a little poem by Lao Tzu, "When the superior person hears of the Tao He diligently studies it. When the inferior person hears of the Tao Sometimes she remembers it, sometimes not. When foolish students hear of the Tao They laugh at it. If they did not laugh at it, It would not be the Tao." & there you have it! Hope that you can still laugh in the face of absurdities in life, & the face of conflicts or confusion. Don't worry cuz the Mercury Retrograde is supposed to end on January 1st lol

I hope everyone's making time for themselves AS WELL AS their loved ones this season (or whichever you need more right now😊). In this episode, I share my intentions for 2024 & how much of it has to be with a recent epiphany I had about my journey with healing my inner polarities, specifically healing my wounded masculine so that my divine feminine can live & breathe more freely and with more trust😌🙏🏼🌌✨️✨️✨️If anything in this episode resonated with you or you have a story to share about your own journey, you can email me at [email protected] 🙂 Disclaimer: Passive SI mentioned in this episode. Please call 988 if you or someone you know is struggling with this &/or are just going through a hard time & need someone to talk to.

In this episode, I give my final review on the Ashwagandha pills I've been taking to help me with anxiety & sleep (overall- it helps! I am not stopping them!) I also share other insights about anxiety and stress relief that have been working for me & how that ties into our human (& really universal) condition of being animistic, suggesting 2 other podcasts that are so worth listening to regarding this, including Nordic Animism & The Emerald. Also at the end...a quick summary of walk at my local park today & how "getting lost in the woods," (or simply going on longer hikes in which discovery & new trails are involved) helps me reduce my anxiety, counter-intuitive as it may sound! Science has already shown that being outside is good for us, & connecting to our evolutionary roots and the mysticism that is prevalent in a walk in the woods helps me get present and shift my perspective from worry to confidence & increase self-trust! The 2 books mentioned in this episode- In An Unspoken Voice by Peter Levine & Dharma Punx by Noah Levine. Both address how trauma is released through the body in 2 very different ways (Noah's focuses more Buddhism & how he combined his love for punk rock & Buddhism together in his addiction recovery journey, while Peter's is a more scientific study lens & one that I haven't actually read yet so I can't say too much about...except that I look forward to reading it!) Excuse all my "uhm's" in this episode, & thanks for listening all the way through if you do. 💓

I read the leading paragraph & graph from Chapter 8-Safety, of Judith Herman's book: Trauma & Recovery- The Aftermath of Violence-From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror, & share parts of my own recovery journey to help give real life examples of how these stages show up in a person's life! If you want some more background & context on this book & the main themes (at least as I learned about them in my 2020 trauma class) please go back & listen to episode 5 of this podcast: Healing During Quarantine-Sarah Ahn on Judith Herman, when I 1st introduced the power of this book for ANYONE that's recovering from trauma OR...cares about someone who is OR...simply wants to understand it better. This episode is a revisting to the book & its wisdom & where I feel like I am in my journey today! ☺️😌🙏🏼✨️✨️✨️ Thank you for listening! We do not have to suffer in silence or heal alone! Anywhere that you are on the process is valid & this stuff is hard to process, let alone talk about, so...if you've experienced trauma & are still here, in whatever stage of recovery- give yourself a big hug & keep going! Healing is a spiral!

In this episode, I return to the book Awakening The Heroes Within, Twelve Archetypes To Help Us Find Ourselves & Transform Our World by Carol S. Pearson, & thoroughly reflect on themes of the Destroyer archetype in my life & introduce the archetype of the Creator, saving deeper reflections on the Creator for a future episode. DISCLAIMER: Suicidal Ideation is mentioned early on in this episode. It's hard to talk about the Destroyer archetype without talking about S.I. If you're particularly sensitive to this content at the moment, please listen to it another time. That being said, this episode may actually be hopeful for those struggling with rock-bottoms or any kind of existential search for meaning after a loss or big life change. The archetype of the Destroyer & learning to embody and practice its healthier aspects holds a lot of wisdom for transforming grief into posttraumatic growth! I hope you get something out of it! Please let me know what your thoughts are by sending me an email & if you enjoyed this episode, give it a good rating and a share! Stay resilient & self-reflective! (To help you gain awareness around these archetypes, there are some journal & Daydream/Art prompts at the end of each archetypal discussion😉🙂). Stay curious & beautiful! 💓

Updates on my recovery process, real life examples from my previous job (& current or future engagements) that essentially represent the gifts as well as the shadow & ego aspects of my gene keys, especially gene key 33, which is all about learning to strike the right balance between my inner and outer life. You can find your gene key profile for free here: https://genekeys.com/free-profile/ref/1423/

We're all going to have our own lessons to learn, & not everyone's lesson is going to be the same (which is why looking into your Gene Keys & Human Design can be especially insightful) but if you also share the Gene Key of 33 being major in your chart, &/or you're an MG in Human Design, especially with a 2/4 profile then I hope these personal journey reflections are re-assuring, especially if you're looking for other voices that understand the unique struggles or challenges these profiles can share. Each challenge is really here to teach us an important lesson about our energies. I'm learning how to use this harnessing power with better discernment! ✨️Learn about who you really are & who you want to be (not who you're expected to be) & listen to your heart & body's wisdom about your needs, limits, joys, & spaces of peace. 😌

This episode is a discussion/personal reflections of a short quiz/cultural norms & values mini "assessment" I took recently. The assessment is the profile picture for this episode (the markings on it are not mine, they are my friend's, who gave me this picture from his class). I read you the quiz in the latter half of this episode! Get a piece of paper & pencil to write down your answers if you want to reflect on your own norms and values & find out what American Subculture your norms and values most align with! Your answer might surprise you! It certainly surprised me! (In a good way🙂). The Quiz begins at about 24 minutes into the episode! Email me @[email protected] if you'd like to talk about your results and personal reflections! #diversity #inclusivity #love #peacefulcoexistence #coexist #surprise #self-discovery #appreciation #playfulcuriosity #insight #focusonconnections #createpeace #sharelove

A stream of consciousness episode about how I have been approaching the current events & the fears & questions it's brought up.

What are your ideas about Love? What does love mean to you? How do you create more unity to prevent more divisions? Send me a voice message by clicking on the link that says "support this podcast," to share your thoughts & ideas! If you'd like to share your journey with rebuilding love & trust in your life, recovering from burnout, or any other themes I discussed in this podcast, I would love to hear that story (whether you'd like to be a guest on the podcast or simply & share one-on-one). 🙂 Thank you for your support & listener-ship!