People Soup

We often think of boundaries as something we put in place to manage other people's demands.

But what if a boundary is actually an act of compassion towards ourselves?

In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Dr Amanda Super describes boundary setting as a “radical act of self-compassion”.

She talks about including ourselves in our own circle of compassion, rather than trying to be all things to all people and paying the price ourselves.

Ross also brings in the idea of fierce self-compassion: sometimes compassion isn't about being softer. Sometimes it's about being firmer, protecting ourselves and saying no when we need to.

Here's something to try:

Think of something you're doing that's costing you more than you can afford to give.

Ask yourself:

“If I genuinely cared about myself here, what would I say no to?”

And then notice what gets in the way.

A short reflection from Ross's conversation with Dr Amanda Super about self-compassion, ambition, boundaries, recovery and being human at work.

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.

Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.

• Full episode here - Can you be ambitious and self-compassionate? Dr Amanda Super - People Soup
• Connect with Amanda on LinkedIn
• About Amanda's book - "A Year of Self-Compassion: Finding Care, Connection and Calm in Our Challenging Times"
• Amanda's website

Here's the People Soup Website.

And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.

Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.

When something goes wrong, it's easy to add another layer of difficulty by being hard on ourselves.

What's wrong with me?

I should be able to handle this.

Why can't I cope?

In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Dr Amanda Super recalls a nurse telling her:

That comment helped Amanda discover self-compassion — and it got me thinking about how differently we sometimes speak to ourselves compared with the way we'd speak to someone we care about.

So here's something to try:

Imagine a close friend is in the same situation as you.

What would you say to them?

How would you speak to them?

What tone would you use?

And then ask yourself:

What would it be like to speak to myself in the same way?

A small exercise — but potentially a useful way to notice how we treat ourselves when things get difficult.

This Quick Spoon comes from my conversation with Dr Amanda Super about self-compassion, ambition, boundaries and being human at work.

Listen to the full conversation on People Soup.

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.

Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.

• Full episode here - Can you be ambitious and self-compassionate? Dr Amanda Super - People Soup
• Connect with Amanda on LinkedIn
• About Amanda's book - "A Year of Self-Compassion: Finding Care, Connection and Calm in Our Challenging Times"
• Amanda's website

Here's the People Soup Website.

And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.

Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.

What if being kinder to yourself doesn't make you less ambitious — but helps you work, recover and live more sustainably?

In this episode of People Soup, I talk to Dr Amanda Super, an occupational and coaching psychologist, author and founder of Creating Compassion. Amanda specialises in self-compassion and compassionate leadership, working with organisations across the public, private and not-for-profit sectors.

Amanda's own journey into this work is fascinating.

At 19, she had flunked her A-levels and was struggling with her confidence. Psychological support helped change the trajectory of her life. Years later, when she became seriously unwell and needed major surgery, a nurse pointed out something Amanda hadn't recognised herself:

"You're being very hard on yourself."

That moment led Amanda to discover self-compassion — and ultimately changed both her personal life and professional direction.

In our conversation, we explore:

• What self-compassion actually means — and what it doesn't mean
• Why we're often caught between threat and drive, with too little access to recovery and soothing
• How workplace culture can reinforce perfectionism, productivity and the pressure to keep going
• The three elements of self-compassion: mindfulness, common humanity and self-kindness
• Whether it's possible to be ambitious and self-compassionate at the same time
• How self-compassion can help us develop healthier boundaries
• What Amanda means by fierce self-compassion
• The costs of constantly criticising ourselves
• Amanda's practical RAIN exercise for difficult moments
• Why recovery is productive
• And why self-compassion might simply give us permission to include ourselves as well as everybody else.

There's also a lovely conversation about Amanda's choice of walk-on music, Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles — a song that reminds her of her grandmother and represents the movement from darkness towards warmth, hope and light.

A practical idea from Amanda

When you notice you're having a strong emotional response to something, pause and ask:

What do I need right now?

Amanda also introduces RAIN:

R — Recognise what's happening

A — Allow the feeling to be present

I — Investigate what's triggered the response

N — Natural awareness

And then, in Amanda's self-compassionate version:

Recognise that anyone would find this difficult, and ask,

How can I be kind to myself right now?

She also leaves us with a simple reminder, recovery can be productive.

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.

Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.

• Connect with Amanda on LinkedIn
• About Amanda's book - "A Year of Self-Compassion: Finding Care, Connection and Calm in Our Challenging Times"
• Amanda's website

Here's the People Soup Website.

And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.

Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.

I'm taking a short break from People Soup during August.

Before I do, I'd like to leave you with one final invitation.

Give yourself permission to stop.

Not forever.

Perhaps for ten minutes.

An afternoon.

Or even a few weeks.

In this final People Soup Quick Spoon before the summer break, Ross McIntosh reflects on what happens when we pause—and what we might notice if we resist the urge to keep going.

Here's something to try

Give yourself permission to stop something. Then simply notice what shows up.

• Perhaps it's the urge to stay productive.
• Perhaps it's the thought: "I should be doing something."
• Or perhaps you'll notice something you couldn't see because you were too busy carrying on.

People Soup will return in September.

Thank you for listening, watching, sharing and being part of the conversation.

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.

Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.

• Recover on purpose: the holiday matrix - People Soup
• Download the holiday matrix here

Here's the People Soup Website.

And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.

Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.

If your holiday had a soundtrack, what would it be?

Music has an extraordinary ability to transport us back to particular moments in our lives.

In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Ross invites you to use that deliberately: choose one song that represents not simply where you're going, but how you'd like to be while you're there.

Curious? Present? Connected?

Here's something to try

Choose one song and play it each morning during your holiday.

Then, months later, when you hear it by chance, pause for a moment.

Perhaps it won't just remind you where you were.

Perhaps it'll remind you who you were.

What song would you choose?

Have you ever unpacked your suitcase and, within three days, felt as though you'd never been away?

Recovery isn't simply about taking time away from work. What we do with that time matters too.

In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Ross invites you to think about what you might bring home from your holiday—other than souvenirs and dirty washing.

Perhaps it's reading for ten minutes.

Walking after dinner.

Leaving your phone in another room.

Here's something to try

Before your holiday ends, ask yourself:

What's one thing I'd like to bring back with me other than souvenirs?

Don't just bring home memories.

Bring home one new way of living.

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.

Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.

• Recover on purpose: the holiday matrix - People Soup
• Download the holiday matrix here

Here's the People Soup Website.

And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.

Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.

We can spend ages planning a holiday.

Where we'll go. What we'll eat. What we'll see.

But perhaps there's another question worth asking:

Who do I want people to experience on this holiday?

In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Ross McIntosh invites you to shift the focus from what you want to do to how you want to show up.

Patient? Curious? Playful? Present?

Here's something to try

Before your next break, choose three words that describe how you'd really like to show up.

Then, each evening, simply notice:

How did I move towards expressing those qualities in my behaviour today?

It's not about getting it right all the time. It's about choosing the direction you want to travel in.

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.

Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.

• Recover on purpose: the holiday matrix - People Soup
• Download the holiday matrix here

Here's the People Soup Website.

And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.

Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.

This holiday, don't just photograph where you went.

Photograph what you noticed.

In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Ross McIntosh explores how taking one intentional photograph each day can become an exercise in awareness rather than documentation.

Instead of collecting pictures of famous landmarks, collect moments of attention—those small details you would probably have walked past if you'd stayed on autopilot.

Here's something to try

Each day, take one photograph of something you only noticed because you slowed down.

When you get home, don't ask:

"Where was I?"

Instead ask:

"What was I paying attention to?"

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.

Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.

• Watch this Quick Spoon on Youtube
• Recover on purpose: the holiday matrix - People Soup
• Download the holiday matrix here

Here's the People Soup Website.

And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.

Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.

One of Ross's favourite places to visit on holiday isn't a famous landmark...

It's the local supermarket.

Why?

Because holidays have a wonderful way of awakening our curiosity.

In this Quick Spoon, Ross explores the idea of beginner's mind - approaching ordinary places as if you're seeing them for the very first time—and why curiosity helps us become more present.

Here's something to try

On your next holiday, visit somewhere completely ordinary—a supermarket, a café or simply a street you've never walked before.

Then explore it with extraordinary curiosity.

Finally, ask yourself:

Where else in my life could I benefit from adopting a beginner's mind?

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.

Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.

• Watch this Quick Spoon on YouTube
• Recover on purpose: the holiday matrix - People Soup
• Download the holiday matrix here

Here's the People Soup Website.

And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.

Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.

Have you ever arrived on holiday, only to find your mind is still back at work?

In this Quick Spoon, Ross explores psychological detachment - one of the key ingredients of effective recovery. It's not just about leaving work physically; it's about leaving it mentally too.

Ross shares one simple ritual to help you make the transition into your holiday with a little more intention.

Here's something to try

Before you finish work:

• Write down what's still outstanding.
• Leave yourself a note for your first day back.
• Identify your priorities.
• Remind yourself why your work matters.

Then close the laptop and let your work have somewhere safe to stay while you're away.

Question: What helps you switch off from work before a holiday?

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.

Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.

• Recover on purpose: the holiday matrix - People Soup
• Watch the short on Youtube
• Download the holiday matrix here

Here's the People Soup Website.

And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.

Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.