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What happens when someone is struggling on the inside but still managing to show up and do their job?
In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Chris Rodgers-Wilson reflects on a period of profound grief when, despite feeling broken inside, he continued to perform as a professional ballet dancer.
What helped him through wasn't simply his own preparation and experience. It was also the trust, connection and shared energy of the people around him.
Chris's experience got me thinking about something important in working life. We can assume that if someone is delivering, they're doing fine. We can also feel that when we're struggling ourselves, we need to hide it and keep performing.
But being capable doesn't mean being invulnerable.
Here's something to try:
Think of someone at work who might be having a difficult time. Rather than assuming they're fine because they're still delivering, make a little space to check in.
You don't have to fix things. Sometimes being seen, heard and trusted is a good place to start.
That's your Quick Spoon. Until next time, take care.
People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.
If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.
Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.
In collaboration with Contextual Consulting I'm running an ACT in the Workplace: Train the Trainer Programme in February 2027. If you're interested in bringing practical evidence-based behavioral science to organizations, this course will equip you to work with groups, understand the stance of the ACT facilitator, and help make a difference to wellbeing in the workplace - then please check out all the details here. The early bird prices run until 5 November and if you use the code WORK20 - you'll receive an extra 20% discount.
Here's the People Soup Website.
And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.
Visit Ross' Website.
Connect with Ross on LinkedIn
People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.
What happens when you work hard towards something and don't get the outcome you hoped for?
In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Chris Rodgers-Wilson reflects on the experience of watching others get opportunities you'd have liked yourself. It's something that can happen at any level, and it's easy to start measuring yourself against other people's success.
I pick up on an important point from Chris: outcomes depend on lots of factors, and not all of them are within our control. Yet when we don't get the role, promotion or recognition we wanted, it's easy to turn that disappointment into a judgement about ourselves.
Here's something to try:
Think about a recent disappointment at work.
What have you made it mean about yourself? And what else might be true?
You can take your work seriously without treating every outcome as a verdict on your worth.
Listen to the full episode with Chris - The stories we dance through - wherever you get your podcasts.
People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.
If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.
Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.
In collaboration with Contextual Consulting I'm running an ACT in the Workplace: Train the Trainer Programme in February 2027. If you're interested in bringing practical evidence-based behavioral science to organizations, this course will equip you to work with groups, understand the stance of the ACT facilitator, and help make a difference to wellbeing in the workplace - then please check out all the details here. The early bird prices run until 5 November and if you use the code WORK20 - you'll receive an extra 20% discount.
Here's the People Soup Website.
And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.
Visit Ross' Website.
Connect with Ross on LinkedIn
People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.
What happens when the work that has shaped your identity begins to change? How do you keep hold of a sense of self in a world built around performance, comparison and high expectations? And how do we support each other when life brings experiences that are difficult to talk about at work?
In this episode of People Soup, I'm joined by Chris Rodgers-Wilson, who spent much of his working life as a professional ballet dancer, performing with Birmingham Royal Ballet and The Australian Ballet. These days, his work brings together psychology, coaching and supporting dancers as they navigate their careers and life beyond the stage.
Chris takes us back to the moment a five-year-old boy watched Romeo and Juliet on VHS and was completely transported by the dancing, storytelling and music. That early fascination eventually took him to the Royal Ballet School in London and a career on stage.
But this conversation goes well beyond ballet.
We explore the pressures of high performance, the challenge of comparing ourselves with others, and the difficulty of holding on to our sense of self when we don't get the opportunities we hoped for. Chris reflects on the sudden loss of his mum, the experience of grieving while continuing to perform, and the extraordinary importance of the people who saw him, trusted him and helped him through.
We also talk about perfectionism, knowing when it's time to move on, and how a moment on stage as Romeo helped Chris recognise that he might be ready for a new chapter.
And Chris leaves us with a thought-provoking perspective on practice and performance: what if practice isn't simply preparation for the next performance, but a daily process that shapes who we become?
In this episode, we explore:High performance isn't just about the big moment. It's about the commitment to daily practice, negotiating the challenges we face and taking steps towards how we want to show up.
About Chris Rodgers-WilsonChris Rodgers-Wilson is a former professional ballet dancer who performed with Birmingham Royal Ballet and The Australian Ballet. His current work combines psychology, coaching and psychometric work, alongside supporting dancers through Dancers' Career Development as they navigate personal development, education and career transitions.
Chris's song choiceAperture by Harry Styles.
If this conversation makes you think differently about performance, identity or the people behind the work, please share it with someone who might find it useful.
Find People Soup wherever you listen to podcasts.
People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.
If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.
Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.
In collaboration with Contextual Consulting I'm running an ACT in the Workplace: Train the Trainer Programme in February 2027. If you're interested in bringing practical evidence-based behavioral science to organizations, this course will equip you to work with groups, understand the stance of the ACT facilitator, and help make a difference to wellbeing in the workplace - then please check out all the details here. The early bird prices run until 5 November and if you use the code WORK20 - you'll receive an extra 20% discount.
Here's the People Soup Website.
And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.
Visit Ross' Website.
Connect with Ross on LinkedIn
People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.
When we're under pressure, it's easy to get pulled towards whatever feels easiest or most attractive right now.
Put off the difficult conversation. Take the path of least resistance. Go for the quick win.
But what if our values could help us see beyond what's tempting us in the moment?
In this Quick Spoon, I share a short exchange with Dr Ryan Kemp about the importance of values — both in addiction recovery and in the workplace.
Ryan highlights the role values can play, and I reflect on how they can give us a glimpse of the longer-term picture, rather than simply following the easiest option.
Our values can remind us of the kind of person we want to be and what we're trying to move towards.
So here's something to try.
The next time you notice you're tempted by the short-term option, pause and ask yourself:
What matters to me here in the longer term?
A short reflection on values, choices and how we want to show up at work.
This Quick Spoon comes from my conversation with Dr Ryan Kemp, clinical psychologist, addiction specialist and author of Transcending Addiction.
Listen to the full conversation: The culture of now: Ryan Kemp on addiction, work and what we reward.
People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.
If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.
Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.
Here's the People Soup Website.
And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.
Visit Ross' Website.
Connect with Ross on LinkedIn
People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.
Can people be honest with you when things aren't going well?
In this Quick Spoon, Dr Ryan Kemp reflects on why honest conversations about addiction depend on having an established, trusting relationship. He makes a point that applies just as much to managers as it does to professionals working with people experiencing addiction.
If a relationship is built around fear and compliance, how likely is someone to admit that they're struggling?
And this isn't about lowering expectations or avoiding difficult conversations. It's about creating the conditions in which people can speak honestly, even when the subject is uncomfortable.
So here's something to try.
Think about someone you manage or work with and ask yourself:
Am I creating a relationship with this person where they'll share the difficult stuff with me? And what small step could I take in that direction?
A short reflection on trust, honest conversations and the relationships we build at work.
This Quick Spoon comes from my conversation with Dr Ryan Kemp, clinical psychologist, addiction specialist and author of Transcending Addiction.
Listen to the full People Soup conversation: The culture of now: Ryan Kemp on addiction, work and what we reward.
People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.
If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.
Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.
Here's the People Soup Website.
And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.
Visit Ross' Website.
Connect with Ross on LinkedIn
People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.
At work, are we always rewarding what really matters?
In this Quick Spoon, Dr Ryan Kemp talks about the different forms of reward we experience at work, pay, bonuses, praise, recognition and positive feedback and asks what happens when we derive that pleasure too quickly.
It got me thinking about the pull of the quick win: getting something done, receiving the praise, solving the immediate problem or choosing the option that gives us the quickest sense of satisfaction.
Sometimes that's exactly what we need.
But sometimes the thing that feels most rewarding right now isn't necessarily the thing that matters most in the longer term.
So here's the question:
What is this moving me towards — and how might it matter in the long term?
This Quick Spoon comes from my conversation with Dr Ryan Kemp about addiction, work, culture and the pull of the immediate.
🎧 Listen to the full conversation: The culture of now: Ryan Kemp on addiction, work and what we reward.
People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.
If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.
Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.
Here's the People Soup Website.
And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.
Visit Ross' Website.
Connect with Ross on LinkedIn
People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.
What happens when the immediate becomes more important than the longer term?
In Part One of my conversation with Dr Ryan Kemp, we explored how addiction can compress a person's experience of time — making the immediate reward feel much more compelling than what might matter further into the future.
In this second part, we take that idea into the workplace and the wider culture around us.
Ryan and I talk about the impact of addiction at work, the way drinking can become normalised, and how organisational cultures can reinforce short-term thinking and behaviour.
We explore what happens when we're constantly rewarded for immediate results - quarterly numbers, annual targets, bonuses and quick wins - and what that might mean for relationships, psychological safety and the longer-term health of organisations.
We also talk about something more practical: how can managers respond when someone is struggling with addiction without excusing harmful behaviour?
For Ryan, the starting point is relationship. If a relationship is built around fear and compliance, people are unlikely to have honest conversations about difficult things. Compassion, vulnerability and trust create a different possibility.
We finish by talking about values — and how reconnecting with what matters can help people move beyond the immediate and begin to see a longer-term direction again.
People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.
If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.
Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.
Here's the People Soup Website.
And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.
Visit Ross' Website.
Connect with Ross on LinkedIn
People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.
Sometimes the things we reach for to make ourselves feel better can also stop us from finding out what's really going on.
In this Quick Spoon, I reflect on an observation from Dr Ryan Kemp about our culture's focus on the immediate — "now, do it, enjoy it, live for the moment."
That got me thinking about what we do when we've had a difficult experience.
We feel stressed, so we distract ourselves.
We feel frustrated, so we vent.
We feel uncomfortable, so we do something that takes the edge off.
And sometimes that's exactly what we need.
But what if the relief gets in the way of the reflection?
What if we never quite get to ask:
What is this experience trying to tell me?
So here's something to try.
The next time you find yourself looking for some immediate relief, give yourself a little space before you reach for it.
What might I learn if I stayed with this for a little while?
This Quick Spoon comes from my conversation with Dr Ryan Kemp about addiction.
🎧 Listen to the full conversation: When the Future Gets Smaller: Dr Ryan Kemp on Addiction
People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.
If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.
Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.
Here's the People Soup Website.
And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.
Visit Ross' Website.
Connect with Ross on LinkedIn
People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.
We all tell stories to make sense of our experiences.
And almost immediately, we can have a story about what's going on:
"They're being difficult."
"They don't appreciate me."
"They've got it in for me."
In this Quick Spoon, Dr Ryan Kemp talks about how we can construct stories about other people when we've had a negative experience — and how it can sometimes take a little longer to consider our own part in what's happening.
Sometimes our story might be absolutely right.
But Ryan's observation made me think about the value of creating a little space before we settle on our explanation.
Not to blame ourselves.
To be curious.
So here's your Quick Spoon:
The next time you find yourself telling a very convincing story about someone else, pause and ask:
What else might be true here?
People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.
If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.
Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.
Here's the People Soup Website.
And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.
Visit Ross' Website.
Connect with Ross on LinkedIn
People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.
Sometimes, when something feels difficult, uncomfortable or overwhelming, our instinct is to make the feeling go away.
We distract ourselves.
We work.
We scroll.
We reach for something that changes how we feel.
In this Quick Spoon, Dr Ryan Kemp talks about this in the context of addiction — and about what happens when we aren't willing to stay with an uncomfortable experience for long enough to understand it.
I'm not suggesting that these everyday behaviours are necessarily addictions.
But Ryan's perspective raises an interesting question for all of us:
What am I trying not to feel?
And perhaps, before we rush to make an uncomfortable feeling disappear, there might be something useful to notice.
That's the idea behind this People Soup Quick Spoon.
🎧 This Quick Spoon comes from my conversation with Dr Ryan Kemp, When the Future Gets Smaller: Dr Ryan Kemp on Addiction.
People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.
If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.
Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.
Here's the People Soup Website.
And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.
Visit Ross' Website.
Connect with Ross on LinkedIn
People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.
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