PEOPLE YOU CAN DO THIS

As we grew older we got a little bit more sophisticated and we would actually write out our Christmas wishes and leave it in a prominent place so that our parents good find it and take action.

I did notice that parents never filled out a list. This week we're going to correct that so take out a pencil and a paper and we're going to write a Christmas list you will be proud of. 

Ho-Ho-Ho! Tis the season to be jolly…right?

It's the time of year to be Joyful right?

Then why is it so hard to get in the mood this year?

Parents are struggling to put on a happy face and many are pretending they are OK. But you might not be OK. 

But this year, especially this year, it's Ok to not be OK…

I spent a good part of my life, wondering, "why am I wired the way I am?" I asked myself why I felt like a failure. 

To overcome the self-disappointment, I spent a good part of my life trying to live up to the expectations of family, friends, college professors, bosses, preachers, and even Facebook Friends. 

That didn't help either. I found that as time went by I continually failed to live up to my OWN brutal self-expectations. The chance of making something of myself seemed more hopeless with each passing year.

But then, I experienced an incredible breakthrough. I discovered Hope. 

The two most commercialized Holidays in America are Halloween and Christmas. 

Beginning as early as August, you will notice the stores are full of decorations of goblins and ghosts and creepy-crawly things all designed to scare the bejeebers out of our kids or us.

 In September, the stores fill up with reindeer, and Santas and snow-men…and wrapping paper, and mistletoe and holly…and tinsel and wreaths and garland…and the grinch and fudge and artificial Christmas trees…

But lost amid these two over marketed events is the most ignored Holiday of the year. The Holiday who’s very name speaks of its purpose…the day of Thanksgiving. 

And on that day, one of the things often left off the list of commemoration is our kids. 

Today we will look at the second part of WHY AM I A THANKFUL PARENT

As we approach Thanksgiving, it does us well to reflect on what the first pilgrims must have faced as they arrived in the New World. In November of 1620 they landed to face a horrible winter. Of the 110 that arrived, less than 50 survived that first winter. They were cold, hungry and homesick.  

If asked who felt thankful those first months, no one was ready to celebrate. 

But come the fall of 1621, everything had changed. Befriended by Samoset and Squanto, who were  Abnaki Indians, the Pilgrims learned how to farm the acres around Plymouth. This resulted in bumper crop and the colony was saved.

No longer focused on pure survival, there was plenty to celebrate. 

Like the Pilgrims who put aside their suffering, today we will put aside the reasons why parenting is so hard and look at three reasons why having kids is something to be thankful for.

Why, when it comes to parents, am I convinced that you can do this? 

It is because, I found out that in spite of all of the obstacles, the sleepless nights and the feelings of failure…parents, (real parents), are relentless. They may talk about giving up but they don’t. 

You became a parent, thinking that your children would be obedient, respectful, and kind little people who would give you some nurture, respect, and fulfillment.

 Instead, you discovered that they suck up all your time and energy, and money... often leaving you feeling empty and frustrated. 

You have become your child's servant, chauffeur, chef, and now (thanks to COVID) their teacher as well. 

You definitely love your kids, but it feels like no one loves you in return. 

Something has got to change… and fast.

Self-care prevents “overload burnout”: We’ve all been there: you push yourself to the point that you can’t take anymore so you just give up. Self-care helps you avoid getting to that point.
Self-care reduces the negative effects of stress: A small amount of stress can serve a purpose, but after a while, it just breaks down your mind and body. Taking care of yourself means keeping your stress from taking over so you can function at full capacity.

So this week we will continue where we left off and move forward to cover three more steps that will help you focus on you and your self-care:

When it comes to being a parent, we typically focus on the kids or on our spouse and their successes and accomplishments. For the most part, it gives us a certain degree of pride when we see they're doing well. But what about you? Are you getting any credit for all the hard work that you put in every day? It's OK to look for your face in the family photo and feel good about who you are. Today we will take a look at focusing on caring for yourself.

The self-help gurus have all kinds of ways to help us become better people. They talk about getting on a fitness program, and they talk about reading one book a day or a week or a month. They talk about listening to positive material and associating with winners. 

 Frankly, I can’t argue with any of these things. They all help build our minds and feed our emotional selves. These things are all good. 

 But if you are like me you might find them to be a little bit simple. Kind of like the difference between instant oatmeal and the honest-to-goodness cook on the stovetop variety. They can both pass as oatmeal, but only the slow-cook old fashioned Quaker Oats offers substance and goes the distance.

 Today, we are going to get inside your head a little bit. We might have to leave some bread-crumbs to find our way out. Don’t worry; this is usually painless, and no parents have been injured in the process…