People's Church

Youth Takeover

Psalm 78:1-7 - 1 O my people, listen to my instructions. Open your ears to what I am saying, 2 for I will speak to you in a parable. I will teach you hidden lessons from our past— 3 stories we have heard and known, stories our ancestors handed down to us. 4 We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders. 5 For he issued his laws to Jacob; he gave his instructions to Israel. He commanded our ancestors to teach them to their children, 6 so the next generation might know them— even the children not yet born— and they in turn will teach their own children. 7 So each generation should set its hope anew on God, not forgetting his glorious miracles and obeying his commands. NLT

Psalm 78:7 - Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands. NIV

Psalm 78:2-4 - I will teach you hidden lessons from our past— 3 stories we have heard and known, stories our ancestors handed down to us. 4 We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders. NLT

Psalm 78:5-6 - 5 For he issued his laws to Jacob; he gave his instructions to Israel. He commanded our ancestors to teach them to their children, 6 so the next generation might know them— even the children not yet born— and they in turn will teach their own children. NLT

Deuteronomy 6:5-7 - 5 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.  6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.  7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. NLT

Psalm 78:7 - THEN they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands. NIV

3 John 1:4 - I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth. NLT

Four ways to make a difference in this generation:

1. Pray.

2. Get your students to Epic and your children to PC Kids.

3. Encourage them to use their gifts to serve God’s house.

4. Join a Next Gen Dream Team.

Youth Takeover

Psalm 78:1-7 - 1 O my people, listen to my instructions. Open your ears to what I am saying, 2 for I will speak to you in a parable. I will teach you hidden lessons from our past— 3 stories we have heard and known, stories our ancestors handed down to us. 4 We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders. 5 For he issued his laws to Jacob; he gave his instructions to Israel. He commanded our ancestors to teach them to their children, 6 so the next generation might know them— even the children not yet born— and they in turn will teach their own children. 7 So each generation should set its hope anew on God, not forgetting his glorious miracles and obeying his commands. NLT

Psalm 78:7 - Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands. NIV

Psalm 78:2-4 - I will teach you hidden lessons from our past— 3 stories we have heard and known, stories our ancestors handed down to us. 4 We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders. NLT

Psalm 78:5-6 - 5 For he issued his laws to Jacob; he gave his instructions to Israel. He commanded our ancestors to teach them to their children, 6 so the next generation might know them— even the children not yet born— and they in turn will teach their own children. NLT

Deuteronomy 6:5-7 - 5 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.  6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.  7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. NLT

Psalm 78:7 - THEN they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands. NIV

3 John 1:4 - I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth. NLT

Four ways to make a difference in this generation:

1. Pray.

2. Get your students to Epic and your children to PC Kids.

3. Encourage them to use their gifts to serve God’s house.

4. Join a Next Gen Dream Team.

Why Parenting is not Working

Romans 1:21-23 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.

22 Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles. (NIV)

Romans1:25 They exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

1. Parenting isn’t working because we exchange biblical wisdom for worldly knowledge.

Colossians 2:8 See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ. (NASB)

3 Steps to root your parenting in the truth of God’s word

1a. Pray. Ask God for wisdom.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. (NIV)

1b. Read the Bible and gain wisdom.

2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness. (NIV)

Luke 6:31 Do to others as you would have them do to you. (NIV)

Psalm 118:6 The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. (NIV)

Colossians 3:23-24 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. (NIV)

1c. Impress God’s word on your children.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.

7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. (NIV)

James 1:22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. (NIV)

2. Parenting isn’t working because we exchange being planted in God’s house for participating in recreation.

Psalm 92:12-13 The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; 13 planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. (NIV)

3. Parenting isn’t working because we exchange focusing on the Creator for focusing on created things.

Romans 1:25 They exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen. (NIV)

Proverbs 22:6 Direct your children onto the right path and when they are older, they will not leave it. (NLT)

Why Parenting is not Working

Romans 1:21-23 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.

22 Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles. (NIV)

Romans1:25 They exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

1. Parenting isn’t working because we exchange biblical wisdom for worldly knowledge.

Colossians 2:8 See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ. (NASB)

3 Steps to root your parenting in the truth of God’s word

1a. Pray. Ask God for wisdom.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. (NIV)

1b. Read the Bible and gain wisdom.

2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness. (NIV)

Luke 6:31 Do to others as you would have them do to you. (NIV)

Psalm 118:6 The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. (NIV)

Colossians 3:23-24 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. (NIV)

1c. Impress God’s word on your children.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.

7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. (NIV)

James 1:22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. (NIV)

2. Parenting isn’t working because we exchange being planted in God’s house for participating in recreation.

Psalm 92:12-13 The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; 13 planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. (NIV)

3. Parenting isn’t working because we exchange focusing on the Creator for focusing on created things.

Romans 1:25 They exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen. (NIV)

Proverbs 22:6 Direct your children onto the right path and when they are older, they will not leave it. (NLT)

Dysfunctional: Why My Conversations With Difficult People Are Not Working

2 Timothy 2:23–26 Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. 24 A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. 25 Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. 26 Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants. (NLT)

1. You need to determine if you should engage a difficult person

2 Timothy 2:23 Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. (NLT)

1A. There are times you should not engage a difficult person

1 Timothy 1:4 Don’t let them waste their time in endless discussion of myths and spiritual pedigrees. These things only lead to meaningless speculations, which don’t help people live a life of faith in God. (NLT)

1 Timothy 4:7 Do not waste time arguing over godless ideas and old wives’ tales. Instead, train yourself to be godly. (NLT)

1 Timothy 6:20–21 Timothy, guard what God has entrusted to you. Avoid godless, foolish discussions with those who oppose you with their so-called knowledge. 21 Some people have wandered from the faith by following such foolishness. May God’s grace be with you all. (NLT)

2 Timothy 2:14 Remind everyone about these things, and command them in God’s presence to stop fighting over words. Such arguments are useless, and they can ruin those who hear them. (NLT)

2 Timothy 2:16–18 Avoid worthless, foolish talk that only leads to more godless behavior. 17 This kind of talk spreads like cancer, as in the case of Hymenaeus and Philetus. 18 They have left the path of truth, claiming that the resurrection of the dead has already occurred; in this way, they have turned some people away from the faith. (NLT)

1B. There are times you should engage a difficult person

Acts 18:4  Every Sabbath he reasoned in the synagogue, trying to persuade Jews and Greeks. (NIV)

Acts 19:8–9 Paul entered the synagogue and spoke boldly there for three months, arguing persuasively about the kingdom of God. 9 But some of them became obstinate; they refused to believe and publicly maligned the Way. So Paul left them. He took the disciples with him and had discussions daily in the lecture hall of Tyrannus. (NIV)

1C. There are times when you need to establish boundaries after engaging a difficult person

Titus 3:9–10 Do not get involved in foolish discussions about spiritual pedigrees or in quarrels and fights about obedience to Jewish laws. These things are useless and a waste of time. 10 If people are causing divisions among you, give a first and second warning. After that, have nothing more to do with them. (NLT)

Romans 16:17–18 And now I make one more appeal, my dear brothers and sisters. Watch out for people who cause divisions and upset people’s faith by teaching things contrary to what you have been taught. Stay away from them. 18 Such people are not serving Christ our Lord; they are serving their own personal interests. By smooth talk and glowing words they deceive innocent people. (NLT)

2 Thessalonians 3:14–15 Take note of those who refuse to obey what we say in this letter. Stay away from them so they will be ashamed. 15 Don’t think of them as enemies, but warn them as you would a brother or sister. (NLT)

2 Timothy 3:4–5 They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. 5 They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that! (NLT)

2 John 1:10–11 If anyone comes to your meeting and does not teach the truth about Christ, don’t invite that person into your home or give any kind of encouragement. 11 Anyone who encourages such people becomes a partner in their evil work. (NLT)

7 Principles For Engaging A Difficult Person

1. Be focused on solutions with difficult people not a fight

2 Timothy 2:24 A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. (NLT)

Proverbs 29:11 Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back. (NLT)

2. Be kind to difficult people

2 Timothy 2:24 A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. (NLT)

Ephesians 4:31–32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. (NLT)

3. Be patient with difficult people

2 Timothy 2:24 A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. (NLT)

Proverbs 15:18 A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel. (NIV)

Ephesians 4:2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. (NLT)

Proverbs 14:29 People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness. (NLT)

4. Be gentle with difficult people

2 Timothy 2:25 Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. (NLT)

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (NIV)

5. Be biblical with difficult people

2 Timothy 2:25 Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. (NLT)

6. Be for the difficult person winning in life

2 Timothy 2:25-26 Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. 26 Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants. (NLT)

7. Be aware the difficult person is in a spiritual battle

2 Timothy 2:26 Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants. (NLT)

Matthew 5:44 “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” (NKJV)

Dysfunctional: Why My Conversations With Difficult People Are Not Working

2 Timothy 2:23–26 Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. 24 A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. 25 Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. 26 Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants. (NLT)

1. You need to determine if you should engage a difficult person

2 Timothy 2:23 Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. (NLT)

1A. There are times you should not engage a difficult person

1 Timothy 1:4 Don’t let them waste their time in endless discussion of myths and spiritual pedigrees. These things only lead to meaningless speculations, which don’t help people live a life of faith in God. (NLT)

1 Timothy 4:7 Do not waste time arguing over godless ideas and old wives’ tales. Instead, train yourself to be godly. (NLT)

1 Timothy 6:20–21 Timothy, guard what God has entrusted to you. Avoid godless, foolish discussions with those who oppose you with their so-called knowledge. 21 Some people have wandered from the faith by following such foolishness. May God’s grace be with you all. (NLT)

2 Timothy 2:14 Remind everyone about these things, and command them in God’s presence to stop fighting over words. Such arguments are useless, and they can ruin those who hear them. (NLT)

2 Timothy 2:16–18 Avoid worthless, foolish talk that only leads to more godless behavior. 17 This kind of talk spreads like cancer, as in the case of Hymenaeus and Philetus. 18 They have left the path of truth, claiming that the resurrection of the dead has already occurred; in this way, they have turned some people away from the faith. (NLT)

1B. There are times you should engage a difficult person

Acts 18:4  Every Sabbath he reasoned in the synagogue, trying to persuade Jews and Greeks. (NIV)

Acts 19:8–9 Paul entered the synagogue and spoke boldly there for three months, arguing persuasively about the kingdom of God. 9 But some of them became obstinate; they refused to believe and publicly maligned the Way. So Paul left them. He took the disciples with him and had discussions daily in the lecture hall of Tyrannus. (NIV)

1C. There are times when you need to establish boundaries after engaging a difficult person

Titus 3:9–10 Do not get involved in foolish discussions about spiritual pedigrees or in quarrels and fights about obedience to Jewish laws. These things are useless and a waste of time. 10 If people are causing divisions among you, give a first and second warning. After that, have nothing more to do with them. (NLT)

Romans 16:17–18 And now I make one more appeal, my dear brothers and sisters. Watch out for people who cause divisions and upset people’s faith by teaching things contrary to what you have been taught. Stay away from them. 18 Such people are not serving Christ our Lord; they are serving their own personal interests. By smooth talk and glowing words they deceive innocent people. (NLT)

2 Thessalonians 3:14–15 Take note of those who refuse to obey what we say in this letter. Stay away from them so they will be ashamed. 15 Don’t think of them as enemies, but warn them as you would a brother or sister. (NLT)

2 Timothy 3:4–5 They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. 5 They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that! (NLT)

2 John 1:10–11 If anyone comes to your meeting and does not teach the truth about Christ, don’t invite that person into your home or give any kind of encouragement. 11 Anyone who encourages such people becomes a partner in their evil work. (NLT)

7 Principles For Engaging A Difficult Person

1. Be focused on solutions with difficult people not a fight

2 Timothy 2:24 A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. (NLT)

Proverbs 29:11 Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back. (NLT)

2. Be kind to difficult people

2 Timothy 2:24 A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. (NLT)

Ephesians 4:31–32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. (NLT)

3. Be patient with difficult people

2 Timothy 2:24 A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. (NLT)

Proverbs 15:18 A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel. (NIV)

Ephesians 4:2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. (NLT)

Proverbs 14:29 People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness. (NLT)

4. Be gentle with difficult people

2 Timothy 2:25 Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. (NLT)

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (NIV)

5. Be biblical with difficult people

2 Timothy 2:25 Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. (NLT)

6. Be for the difficult person winning in life

2 Timothy 2:25-26 Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. 26 Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants. (NLT)

7. Be aware the difficult person is in a spiritual battle

2 Timothy 2:26 Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants. (NLT)

Matthew 5:44 “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” (NKJV)

Why Communication Is Not Working

James 3:5–6 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. (NIV)

Psalm 34:12–13 Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, 13 keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies. (NIV)

1 Peter 3:10 For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies. (NLT)

4 Barriers That Lead To Bad Communication

1. Beginning with the wrong approach 

Proverbs 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (NIV)

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (NIV)

Proverbs 29:22 An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin. (NLT)

Proverbs 15:18 A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel. (NIV)

Proverbs 25:15 Patience can persuade a prince, and soft speech can break bones. (NLT)

2. Being quick to talk

Proverbs 18:13 To answer before listening—that is folly and shame. (NIV)

Proverbs 17:27–28 A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered.

28 Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent. (NLT)

Proverbs 10:19 Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut. (NLT)

3. Bringing the attack to the person instead of the problem

Proverbs 26:21 A quarrelsome person starts fights as easily as hot embers light charcoal or fire lights wood. (NLT)

4.  Backing away from tough conversations 

Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. (NIV)


6 Ways To Build A Bridge Of Communication

B- Begin with me

Matthew 7:5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. (NIV).

R- Relationship is my win

I- Initiate asking for forgiveness

Ephesians 4:31-32 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (ESV)

D- Discover where people are

Proverbs 18:2 Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions. (NIV)

G- Grow in my communication

Psalm 19:14 May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. (NIV).

 James 1:26 If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your

religion is worthless. (NLT)

E- Ensure my communication aligns with the Bible

1. Go to the person first

2. Don’t gossip and slander

Proverbs 26:20 Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down. (NIV)

3. Build people up with your communication

Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful

for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (NIV)

4. Be a person of peace

Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (NIV)

Why Communication Is Not Working

James 3:5–6 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. (NIV)

Psalm 34:12–13 Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, 13 keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies. (NIV)

1 Peter 3:10 For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies. (NLT)

4 Barriers That Lead To Bad Communication

1. Beginning with the wrong approach 

Proverbs 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (NIV)

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (NIV)

Proverbs 29:22 An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin. (NLT)

Proverbs 15:18 A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel. (NIV)

Proverbs 25:15 Patience can persuade a prince, and soft speech can break bones. (NLT)

2. Being quick to talk

Proverbs 18:13 To answer before listening—that is folly and shame. (NIV)

Proverbs 17:27–28 A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered.

28 Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent. (NLT)

Proverbs 10:19 Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut. (NLT)

3. Bringing the attack to the person instead of the problem

Proverbs 26:21 A quarrelsome person starts fights as easily as hot embers light charcoal or fire lights wood. (NLT)

4.  Backing away from tough conversations 

Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. (NIV)


6 Ways To Build A Bridge Of Communication

B- Begin with me

Matthew 7:5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. (NIV).

R- Relationship is my win

I- Initiate asking for forgiveness

Ephesians 4:31-32 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (ESV)

D- Discover where people are

Proverbs 18:2 Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions. (NIV)

G- Grow in my communication

Psalm 19:14 May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. (NIV).

 James 1:26 If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your

religion is worthless. (NLT)

E- Ensure my communication aligns with the Bible

1. Go to the person first

2. Don’t gossip and slander

Proverbs 26:20 Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down. (NIV)

3. Build people up with your communication

Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful

for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (NIV)

4. Be a person of peace

Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (NIV)

Dysfunctional: Why Marriage Is Not Working

1 Peter 5:8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. (NLT)

Mark 10:7–9 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (NIV)

1. Unresolved Conflict separates marriages and healthy Communication joins marriages

Ephesians 4:26–27  “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. (NIV)

Proverbs 12:18 The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (NIV)

Healthy Communication Joins Your Marriage Together

1. Be honest

Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. (NIV)

Ephesians 4:25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. (NIV)

2. Be honoring

2A. Be loving

Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. (NIV)

2B. Bite your tongue

Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (NIV)

2C. Be a builder

Ephesians 4:29  Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful

for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (NIV)

2D. Be kind

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God

forgave you. (NIV)

2E. Be unifier and peacemaker

Ephesians 4:3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. (NIV)

2. Selfishness separates marriages and Serving joins marriages

1 Corinthians 10:24 No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. (NIV)

Marriages aren’t working when selfishness creates a consumer relationship

Marriages aren’t working when selfishness creates a “You’re the problem” mentality. 

Matthew 7:3-5 3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. (NIV)

1. Shift from a fleshly perspective to a biblical perspective

Philippians 2:3–4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. (NIV)

1 Corinthians 10:24 No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. (NIV)

2. Shift from trying to change your spouse to changing yourself

3. Shift from you need to understand me to I need to understand you

4. Shift from what makes me happy to what makes you happy

5. Shift from how you should serve me to how can I serve you

3. Indifference separates marriages and Investment joins marriages

Begin investing in your marriage even when you feel indifferent

Revelation 2:4–5 Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. 5 Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. (NIV)

Mark 10:7–9 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (NIV)

Dysfunctional: Why Marriage Is Not Working

1 Peter 5:8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. (NLT)

Mark 10:7–9 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (NIV)

1. Unresolved Conflict separates marriages and healthy Communication joins marriages

Ephesians 4:26–27  “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. (NIV)

Proverbs 12:18 The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (NIV)

Healthy Communication Joins Your Marriage Together

1. Be honest

Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. (NIV)

Ephesians 4:25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. (NIV)

2. Be honoring

2A. Be loving

Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. (NIV)

2B. Bite your tongue

Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (NIV)

2C. Be a builder

Ephesians 4:29  Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful

for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (NIV)

2D. Be kind

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God

forgave you. (NIV)

2E. Be unifier and peacemaker

Ephesians 4:3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. (NIV)

2. Selfishness separates marriages and Serving joins marriages

1 Corinthians 10:24 No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. (NIV)

Marriages aren’t working when selfishness creates a consumer relationship

Marriages aren’t working when selfishness creates a “You’re the problem” mentality. 

Matthew 7:3-5 3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. (NIV)

1. Shift from a fleshly perspective to a biblical perspective

Philippians 2:3–4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. (NIV)

1 Corinthians 10:24 No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. (NIV)

2. Shift from trying to change your spouse to changing yourself

3. Shift from you need to understand me to I need to understand you

4. Shift from what makes me happy to what makes you happy

5. Shift from how you should serve me to how can I serve you

3. Indifference separates marriages and Investment joins marriages

Begin investing in your marriage even when you feel indifferent

Revelation 2:4–5 Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. 5 Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. (NIV)

Mark 10:7–9 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (NIV)