Vanilla sex is loved by many, but for some it can get a little mundane. Have you ever wanted to add a touch of variety? Nothing too crazy or complicated but something to spark curiosity? In this episode I share four easy ideas to add a cherry on top of vanilla sex.

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Mentioned in this episode:
Ten tips to a better bedroom on the blog
Sexify your space episode
Guide to lube
Using your senses for pleasure
Foreplay 101
Turn up the volume on your sex life
Positions with props
Kink curious
Five questions for couples

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Women often feel burnout from taking care of everyone around them before caring for themselves. The term self-care is trending, but how can we go about doing it? Therapist Jen Hershey joins me to share her perspective, including ideas around alignment and learning to listen to your inner authority. This conversation is an invitation to move through life with more trust, clarity and intention.

Learn more about Jen Hershey, LMFT

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Dial up the heat of arousal using your fingers! Listen in to learn some new techniques including various kinds of pressure, rhythms and motions. Discover broadening, hinting, and different styles of finger touch for increased pleasure.

Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube, use code CINDY 

More on these topics
The clitoris is a whole network
The clitoral hood
The G-spot
24 conversation starters to help you talk about sex with a partner

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Have you ever been having sex and suddenly your arousal just disappears? From this episode you’ll gain a deeper understanding of how arousal and desire really work, as well as factors that influence it. You’ll also learn three things research shows that long-term couples can do to experience sexual satisfaction as desire changes over time.

Mentioned in this episode:
Sex on the brain
Understanding  sexual desire styles
Partner sexual desire discrepancies
How curiosity fuels desire
Reclaim your arousal mindset
Community questions: arousal, role play and condoms
3 tips for speeding up arousal

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Vibrators and sex toys don’t have to be scary or overwhelming. And they certainly aren’t bad or taboo. In this episode I walk through why vibrators work for women and how to choose one. I also offer a few communication tips for introducing a toy with a partner.

Mentioned in the episode:
Clitoral Network blog
Pleasure techniques with penetration
Maude use code CINDY10
The Clitoris has a hood
Megan’s episode about introducing a vibrator
Vibrator episode with Dr. Shannon Chavez
Vibrators on the blog
When a partner wants to try something new
Intimate Wellbeing use CINDY15
Dame

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Vanessa Carlisle, PhD, MFA joins me to talk about their book co-authored with Stephanie Covington called: Awaken Your Sexuality: A Guide to Connection and Intimacy after Addiction and Trauma. We discuss the prevalence and normalization of substances as a pathway to sexual behavior, and how sexual responses can be filtered and affected through this lens. Vanessa also shares how shame can keep us from using our personal power to find intimacy and a satisfying sex life.

Learn more about Vanessa Carlisle, PhD, MFA

More on this topic:
Slow Pleasure with Euphemia Russell
Sexual shame with Mathias Roberts
Using your senses for pleasure
Pleasure after trauma
Supporting Survivors

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Did you know it’s possible to have more than one orgasm in a single sexual session? In this episode we discuss how women can experience multiple orgasms including techniques to explore for wave after wave of pleasure.

Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube with code CINDY

Mentioned in this episode:
The clitoral network
What is edging?
A woman's arousal takes more than 5 minutes
Different kinds of orgams
Level up your pleasure with these 20 orgasms
The clitoral hood
Vibrators for women
Pleasure techniques with penetration
Sex and your brain
Can men be multi-orgasmic?

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Have you ever been curious about kink? If so, this is the perfect conversation for you! Certified Sex and Relationships Psychotherapist, Sex Educator, and Author Gigi Engle joins me to offer a guide to exploring kink and erotic sensation. We discuss popular kinks, power dynamics, impact play and more. Expand your sexual menu with ideas and suggestions to amplify your senses through kinky play.

Find Gigi Engle and Kink Curious

Mentioned in this episode:
Temperature play
Toys, fantasy and play in the bedroom
Untangling sexual shame
Desire discrepancies
When one partner's vanilla and the other is 31 flavors
When a partner wants to try something new

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
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Listen in for the five questions to answer with a partner for greater pleasure and discovery. Sexual communication is your key to unlocking boredom, assumptions and resentment in the bedroom. Lean into your curiosity with these questions and discover more intimacy and vibrancy in your sex life.

Find the podcast page with all the links

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Want to re-eroticize your long-term relationship and keep the fires burning for the long-haul? Somatic Psychologist, and Sex Therapist Dr. Holly Richmond joins us with expert advice for couples. She gets practical with flirting techniques, understanding your sexual template, and the four things healthy couples do to have a thriving relationship in and out of the bedroom.

Dr. Holly Richmond  is a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified sex therapist, and holds a PhD in Somatic Psychology, and is the associate director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes.

More on these topics:
Pleasure after trauma episode with Holly
Reclaiming Pleasure Book Review
Partner desire discrepancies
Desire styles
How much does frequency matter?
Erotic personas
Erectile dissatisfaction vs Erectile dysfunction
Affection and the 6 second kiss

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog