Pessimistic at Best

Guess who’s turning 25 next week? My best friend Zoe is! That’s right folks, go and wish my sweet, sweet bug a happy mother fucking 25th birthday, or else! Rumor has it turning 25 is hard. I wouldn’t know, but I will in exactly two months from now, luckily for me, Zoe’s going first. The thing is, we’re already in the midst of our quarter life crises, and on top of what is already a challenging time in our lives, we’re living through a fucking pandemic which is rude. But you know what? We’re gonna turn 25, we’re gonna do it with style, and we’re gonna like it, god damnit.

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I really don’t like bugs. I’m terrified of spiders, I hate mosquitos, I’m afraid of bees, and above all else, I’m absolutely REPULSED by ticks. I literally can’t think of anything worse—and boy do I have a story for you.

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Last time we recorded, Elisia was still trying to figure out her next move after Miss Rona cut her Peace Corps experience short, but my girl is turning lemons into lemonade and moving down to Austin, Texas for grad school and let me tell you, I can’t wait to establish a semi-permanent residence down south with all of my Texas girlies—yeehaw!

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If the pandemic was good for anything, it was encouraging, nay, enforcing a pause. Today I have my amazing friend Victoria on the podcast to chat about the non-stop grind that is life in the service industry and even crazier reality of working in a salon in the midst of a pandemic. When you work with people, especially when you work behind the chair, you can’t exactly afford to have a bad attitude while on the clock. Instead, you develop a sort of pseudo persona, one that you can quite literally turn on or off with the flip of a switch. Being “on” all of the time is already mentally and emotionally taxing, then you throw a fucking pandemic into the mix and it becomes a lot harder to put on those happy pants.  You know who doesn’t require those happy pants? The dead!

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Ok, we get it, we're almost twenty-five and we still don't know how to do our taxes or get our oil changed, so what? Adulting is actually super messed up when you really think about it, and we prefer to believe that the fact that we don't know how to balance a checkbook or schedule our own appointments is really just a testament to our youth. We're working on it ok? We have big girl jobs, we've been flossing more, and honestly? We're just doing our fucking best. What more do you want from us!!!

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Why is it that when you work in a creative field, you’re so often expected to do it all? Ashley and I can certainly attest to this, as we’ve both taken turns playing the role of social media manager, graphic designer, marketing director, copywriter—you name it, we’ve done it—and we probably weren’t paid fairly for it either. Oh, and don’t even get us started on freelancing. In this episode, we bitch about the tricky business of being a “creative,” our ever-growing Zoom fatigue, and the things that have been keeping us busy outside of our 9-5s, including a trip to D.C., a hard to recreate mocktail recipe and the debacle over the shrimp in that one guy’s box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

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Do you know what the School of Human Ecology is? How about ‘Human Development and Family Studies’ or ‘Retail and Consumer Behavior?’ No? That’s ok, because honestly, we don’t either! Josie and I weren’t entirely sure what we wanted to do when we got to college, hence the abstract majors, and frankly, we’re still not sure where we’re going to end up, so don’t you dare ask! We’re just a couple of over-thinkers trying our absolute best, ok?

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It’s true, they really do hate to see a girlboss winning, but you know what they say, nevertheless she persisted! When we were twelve, we’d stay up all night long at sleepovers fantasizing about being married with kids at the age of twenty-five. Then, a few years later we watched the Carrie Bradshaws and the Sophia Amorusos, I mean, Marlowes of the world build their empires and take their cities by storm, all with impressive ease and impeccable style. By the time we got to college we were so confused about what our dreams and goals were actually supposed to be that we signed ourselves up for a ‘Music, Movies and the Sixties’ Freshman Year Interest Group and well, it doesn’t get anymore #girlboss than that—am I right, ladies?

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Was ‘learning to cook’ one of my 2021 intentions? Yes, yes it was! Is it working out? Absolutely not! But you know what they say, shoot for the moon and you’ll land amongst the stars—or at the very least you’ll become good pals with the delivery driver at your favorite bagel shop! I’m no chef, and frankly neither is James, though he does whip up some mean scrambled eggs. Cooking just doesn’t come naturally to me, and when something doesn’t come easy, I’m quick to throw in the towel. Or in this case, I’m quick to dial in my go-to takeout order. Did I mention I also hate grocery shopping? The aisles are never laid out in a way that makes sense, the workers are grumpy and I’m always there for two hours too long. Are you a good cook? Do you enjoy yourself during your weekly trip to the grocery store? Explain yourselves!

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If you don’t know what Eucerin is, then you don’t *really* know me. I have the driest of dry skin. We’re talking eczema, keratosis pilaris—the works. I don’t even really have skin, I have scales. My dry skin condition is genetic (thanks a lot, mom!) and I’ve been suffering from and complaining about dry, dehydrated skin for, well, my entire twenty-four years of existence and counting!

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EUCERIN
Link to purchase: Original Dry Repair Cream

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