Pessimistic at Best

If I have to use my own cellphone to pull up the menu at the restaurant, I'm clocking in because I work here now. I said what I said!

James and I return to the podcast to celebrate Flow's Academy Award for Best Animated Feature (s/o to Latvia, a real place that exists!), dismantle the Digital Menu Industrial Complex™️, and point fingers at people who don't make enough room for you on the sidewalk.

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I recently found myself feeling insecure about my Hydro during a Zoom call full of Stanleys and decided enough is enough! Screw your trendy water bottle! Unless you're still chewing on your Camelbak straw, like seriously, it's time to move on.

James and I hit the podcast to celebrate mixing metals, call out water bottle fads, and critique public feuds. Join in, you know you wanna!

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Picture this: The year is 2025 and you're making the active choice to jump back on the reading train after it dawns on you that you've forgotten how to do anything besides watch TV. Sound familiar? If so, you're safe here!

Grace and I take to the podcast to celebrate Chelsea Handler's new book, I'll Have What She's Having, recoil at the thought of receiving an out-of-pocket text (examples included), and pay homage to all of the grown men who have ugly cried to the national anthem ahead of the Big Game™️. 

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Have you ever been out to eat when your waiter suddenly goes missing, only to reappear on stage, mic in hand, bringing down the house? It's like, sure you wanted another martini, but ultimately you're happy they're having their moment!

Owen and I take to the podcast to celebrate servers with secret talents, protest loud speakers in public places, and cringe at the mukbang of it all (no offense!)

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Were you normal, or were you spending your iTunes gift cards on Glee covers? Don't worry, you're amongst friends! 

Donnie and I take to the podcast to celebrate authenticity, stress over our favorite strategy-based reality TV game shows, and complain about men, naturally! Btw, did we ever figure out if Lea Michelle could read? Lmk, seriously. 

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Brunch is something you plan in advance. It's an event you prepare for. Heck, you might even put on a cute outfit! Breakfast, on the other hand, is thrust upon you (whether you like it or not!)

Luke and I take to the podcast to rejoice in the pleasure of breakfast with your friends, complain about the reality of women's healthcare, and clap back at people who pick on picky eaters.

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Everyone can be someone and anything can be cool — and isn't that beautiful? Sure, there will always be pop stars with seismic fanbases like Taylor Swift and Beyoncé, but the "mainstream" is over, you heard it here first!

James and I take to the podcast to dive into the death of the mainstream, protest our apparent collective dedication to ignoring the human desire to hibernate, and shame TV and movie franchises that refuse to let a good thing go.

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We're back, babies! And ever so grateful to be back in your ears each week. We missed you terribly — what a long two months it has truly been. Much to catch up on, so let's take it from the top!

James and I take to the podcast to share our favorite onomatopoeias, lament over the humiliation of running to catch the bus, and complain about pants when they inevitably get a little loose at the knees after a long day of wear.

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Friendly reminder that the absolute worst thing you can do is tell someone they seem tired, it never goes over well. Instead, you could try, "You look like shit," or "What the hell is your problem." This week James and I take to the podcast to encourage more themed parties, commiserate about just how much it sucks to throw up, and to render our final verdict on the fake Christmas tree of it all.

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Great news team, becoming a better person is actually incredibly easy! Follow our 5-step process and you'll surely go straight to heaven or be reincarnated as something really cool or whatever. In this week's episode, James and I take to the podcast to celebrate the versatility of the fist bump, condemn the act of killing bugs outside, and drag the folks who film strangers in public without their consent — seriously, don't do that! 

THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM:

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Website: samanthageorgson.com