Pessimistic at Best

Did your high school have an open campus lunch or were you one of the unlucky ones? I hate to break it to you, but there is truly no experience that could compare to piling seven deep in a friend's car and zipping across the street to the mall food court for a slice of Rocky Rococo's pepperoni pizza and a pink lemonade. None! Join us for a silly little conversation about drunk McDonald's orders, quicksand, walkable cities and so much more.

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Do you ride or die for Steve Jobs? Don’t worry, you’re safe here! Jake and I take to the podcast to discuss the finest technological advances of our lifetime (caller ID & iPhone cases with kickstands) while simultaneously confessing our unyielding need to touch grass and perhaps create something with our hands, because we contain multitudes!

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I need to apologize to anyone who listens to this episode and purchases a ticket to Lollapalooza because I said Phoebe Bridgers is on the lineup. That is utter misinformation, she's probably busy that weekend, and I have no idea where I heard this rumor or why it came out of my mouth. Please forgive me!

Okay, now that we got that out of the way. If you're NOT mad at me, consider joining us for a silly little episode about dogs — big dogs, small dogs, hotdogs, Chicago-style dogs, corndogs, etc. You name it, we've got it, just the way you like it. ;)

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Do you have a nickname? Was it self prescribed or bestowed upon you? Do you prefer your god-given name? What if god isn’t real, then what? So many questions! 

While you contemplate your answers, why not join us for a silly little episode about the magic of visiting your local Asian supermarket, the terror of encountering your local Christian Bible thumper, and the harsh reality of taking an overwhelming amount of supplements and vitamins before embarking on your daily commute via your local mode of public transportation. Sounds fun, right?

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Becoming an adult means getting a printer for the home and we're officially shedding our youth today, folks. James and I take to the pod to discuss the versatility of breakfast sandwiches, lament over the incredible inconvenience of having to type in a password, and persecute anyone who willingly leaves the house with a chipped mani. Sorry, not sorry! 

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What ever happened to getting all gussied up for a night at the theater? We used to have class, we used to have taste, we used to have culture — now all we've got are a bunch of hussies wearing their "Kiss me, I'm Irish" t-shirts to the Saturday evening showing of My Fair Lady. Join us for a silly little conversation about comfort shows, modern architecture, and boring losers who refuse to shake ass on the dance floor.

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Not to be dramatic, but I would happily lay down my life for the man who sings songs to his goat on TikTok. Have you had the pleasure of encountering this sweet creature? His gentle spirit, his adoring fan, I simply can't get enough! Join us on the pod for a silly little conversation about whether our reverence for animal videos spans generations and stay for my hot take on what it takes to grow out a pixie cut — GUTS.

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FOLLOW JAMES
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Did you know that if you get bad news during a tarot reading it's your fault? Anyway, Jasen paid 30 dollars for a woman to tell him he was destined to get famous by coming on my podcast, so here goes! Join us for a silly little conversation about rollerskating, apartments with no personality, and reality TV's latest innovation, The Traitors. You're going to love it, seriously!

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When it comes to condiments, how refined is your palate? I'm a mustard girlie, but I admittedly still fuck with ketchup, is that okay? You can be honest! Join us for a silly little conversation about our favorite mayo-based dressings, our biggest red flags, and our thoughts on the ugliest running shoes.

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Besties, are you tweaking out or are you locked in? We're asking the tough questions today on Pessimistic at Best! Personally, I'm tweaking but I'm trying sooo hard to lock in. Join us for a comically unstable conversation about bidets, movie trailers, and the Twitter comments section.

SPONSORED BY
Magic Mind: magicmind.com

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FOLLOW SAM:
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Website: samanthageorgson.com