Phat Dabs In The Morning

we know it's been a minute now. we know it has. the village ain;t go nowhere we assure you. we're still here we promise but just like any other functioning smoke we got responsibilities or whatever it was we always claimed we never wanted when we grew up. but enough of the digressing, we know that the sun is getting mighty low and that everyone is tired boss. we know that. however we feel the need to showcase more poetry from a talented artist and a great friend and fan of the show one Justin Burkhardt. we are here tonight reading his latest work dust in the mouth of dreamers and the more read his work the feel him coming into his own. it;s a good reason to roll one up take a hit or two and put your headphones in. it's what you need. it will do you some good. it will always make your teller a bit humble that he probably inspired this man's ambition to write his heart out and I am always happy to put his work out for anyone with good weed and good taste to have a listen to. it will get that high right where you want it to be. we assure you. trust your bowl mates. we wouldn't lie to you.

#trustusonthisone

#alwaysapleasuretoreadyourworkgoodsir

#moreontheway

#getyourmindrightandyourheadphonesin

#theseshneverendsrememberthat

#mandy

#guyonthecouch

#gorillagripgoblinsammysam

#originalgerudo

#smokehokage

#moretocomeandcomingsoon

#justsmokeityou

and we have the episode to prove it. sure we could talk about all the crazy going on in the world and uite frankly what would be the point of that? we here for the silly. and the world has given us everything from the silly to the downright embarrassing. too many out here have believed that the internet is a real place and their keyboard personalities can be carried outside in public. we here at phat dabs in the morning encourage all of you not to do that. it may not end well for you and we may want you to pull up to a sesh one time. keep in mind we also might want you to pull up. some of y'all be telling on yourselves and it's rather hilarious. none more than sports casters with some of the sus shit yall be saying. sports in general is some rather sus stuff that everyone seems to just overlook for the sake of the game we suppose. we don't try to make sense of it it's not worth the blown high. there was a UFC fight at the white house. before it's all over there will be a there a Wrestlemania there as well. we mean why the fuck not at this point right? we mean no wonder everyone is looking towards the 90s and wishing to go back in time like shit back there was any sweeter. we also take a look at some of our favorite gay coded characters in entertainment and the classics are always the ones that first come to your mind. Velma baby we looking dead at you. It's the type of silliness and sesh that you need with your bowl mates in order to make sense of the world before you realize there's no use in trying sometimes. when the world makes no sense whether you're high or sober, it might just be the end of it. but you know what ain't the end of the world though? having a god of war game that features kratos wife. it's not gonna kill you to play a game that still looks fire and you will still get more god of war games in the future. you angry gamers will be okay. it will still be a good game we promise you. just wait for the rest of it to come out and find something else to be mad at. you'll find plenty on the net. I mean come on this is the wrong month to be out here angry. don't be mad. be glaad. booty shorts.

#imeanjustwhatelsecouldhappennext

#wemeanitcantgetanysillier

#canit

#werealmostafraidtoseehowmuchfurtheritcango

#sportscastersmakeyouwannascreampause

#actuallyeverysportmakesyouwannascreampause

#ifwerebeinghonestrightnow

#stillfunnyasfuckwhenyallcatchyourselvestho

#mandy

#guyonthecouch

#otherguyonthecouch

#theybothsharethefloorimeancouch

#gorillagripgoblinthatcockandballssammysam

#originalgerudo

#smokegodniga

#youshouldbesmoking

#trustusitwillmakethissummermakesense

yes that is right vai and voe. not too long ago, actually a few years ago for those who are sober and can count, we got together and decided to record our seshes and bring some of our silly ass shit for our own entertainment. mind you we never actually thought any of you would actually listen and it does out hearts and well maybe not our lungs great that those many people decided we were worth a listen. we hope we were worth the sesh and for those countries who listen who may not have weed available know you can smoke vicariously through us, or find a good spot to not get caught. we ain't no snitches. yet the bowl mates decided earlier to celebrate with a lot of Korean bbq and sohju and had a nice buzz going while this episode. a lovely medley of your bowl mates discussing the random madness of the day such as discussing why men can't enjoy certain things. Who made the rules that we can't enjoy brunch? who made that ruling? like we're not allowed to enjoy some shit as well. while we at it, mixed drinks are delicious goddamnit. your teller is at that age where his dark liquor days are far behind him and can say that we are all adults and can admit that hennessy is disgusting. we don't have to drink unleaded and pretend we enjoy it. we don't have to side eye every random dude that starts to eat a hot dog. we can be past that folks we really can. we give you an honest review of the Mario galaxy movie and why we have no faith in anything Nintendo has going forward especially for the upcoming legend of Zelda movie. to see just how little faith we have we even watched the cartoon of the same game and witnessed just how wrong they could get this. even though if you make link talk in this movie, excuuuuuuse me princess must be in the script somethere. we take a lookat one of our least favorite tropes in television in the 90s teen shows, the sack of shit with the heart of gold. I'm not certain that's the name of the trope but that's what we're going with. but we also show the best of that being from saved by the bell and some of the things he has done during this series that will make you say that's illegal. okay that is illegal. in the midst of a good high and alcoholstupor we bring up other things that bother us and giving hope to all y'allout there to get yourselves in order. go talk to somebody. see a therapist. it's not the stigma it used to be we assure you. the world is getting crazier by the day and the last thing you need to feel and be is alone. let's all get our shit together folks. we've winged it so far and we know y'all are as well and we wish you luck and once again we cannot thank y'all enough for this many listens. we really couldn't. we will smoke one to ya'll though.

#wecantsmokeorthankyallenough

#greatthingsforthosewhoneverexpectedthem

#thissohjuhadusfeelingright

#wonderfulcelebration

#wedonttrustyouanymorenintendo

#morereferencesthanactualstory

#pleasedontfuckupthelegendofzeldamovie

#itsallweask

#mencanenjoybrunchtoodammit

#youcanenjoyyourbirthdayyouknowthatright

#noonewantstogetalloldandexistential

#knockthatdepressingshitoff

#youhaveanotheryeartogetitright

#makesomeefforttomakesureyoudo

#gettinglovefromcountriesweneverknewwerereal

#yeswesmokethatmuch

#mandy

#guyonthecouch

#gorillagripgoblinthatcockandballssammysam

#originalgerudo

#smokehokage

#smokegodniga

#stilltryingtogetthatoneover

#PDITM

#youshouldbesmoking

now hold on there. wait just one second there. I know you took one look at the title of this episode and wondered to yourself just where are they going with this and i am certain some of you are thinking to yourselves you filthy muthfuckas. and you may be right, sometimes, but we assure you not this time. we enjoy our sex here at phat dabs yet even we know how to act. I mean we can only look at so many anime and shrug our shoulders to the gooner bait produced here and say to yourself okay Japan. you can only overlook the bullshit for so long. so just to throw off our usual routine, we decided to watch the suicide pact episode of paranoia agent and the brilliant works of Satoshi kon, yeah that is a bit out there, but then again so are animes that are social critiques disguised as psychological horror. great anime by the way, smoke before you watch though, it's for your own sanity we assure you. and while we search for anime female characters that aren't exactly gooner bait but hey gooners gonna goon but we did find some complete bad ass women in anime from black lagoon to dragon ball to soul eater yet no magical girl shit. we will check your search history if you are into magical girl shit we promise you that one. some women who are hot and will fuck you up and we get to see some of the finest moments of the bride from kill bill meanwhile taking Tarantino to task for some of his self insert bullshit he likes to pull. be as much of a fan as you wish yet you know we right on that one. it just makes us wonder sometimes. we can only ask what are we doing so many times. but quite frankly we can only do so many things so many times before we completely wonder just what in the absolute fuck is wrong with you. we looking at you people with ai companions. we looking dead at you because we starting to believe some of this shit just played up for clout because there is no way and we do mean no way that the dating scene is that bad out here. and beyond that we have to start calling shit out and saying no because after watching a bitch get a tattoo for her ai boyfriend and the artist didn't just say nah this is fucking ridiculous and won't do it. it's time to get the computer away from them and start having an actual conversation. and the people who stay with people who are being cheated on with computers are the reason I feel that psychologists should be able to just put their professional standards and just ask you what the fuck is wrong with you. would suggest seeking therapy but they did not go to school and accrue all that debt just to sit there trying to analyze someone who is in love with a voice from their laptop or smartphone. i need a dab just typing that bullshit out. we promise you folks don't let the internet convince you the opposite sex is as bad as they claim it is. I mean come on folks there's only so much humor we can pull from this absurdity. doesn't mean we won't try but just know there are more times these days that we will not be high enough for this shit. we will try because that's what we do but just know we will be high. just not enough for some of y'all's nonsense. we love y'all but not that much. yet just know when the world gets dark, the mates get high.

#itsmuchbetterthatway

#wecanonlygetsohighforsomeofthisshitsometimes

#icanonlygookayjapansomanytimes

#icanseewhyadultswimdidntairthatepisode

#badassfemalesinanime

#nofanservicebutgoonerswillgoon

#somemakethatashirt

#noseriouslythatsoundslikeamoneyshirt

#getsomehumanlovingdamnit

#shitisnotthatbad

#shitshouldneverbethatbad

#computerlovewasasonginyamamatimenotyourlovelifebitch

#peoplearenotthatbad

#wepromise

#mandy

#guyonthecouch

#gorillagripgoblinthatcockandballssammysam

#wemissyasamandwaitingforyatopullup

#slidewiththematesonemoreagain

#originalgerudo

#smokehokage

#smokegodniga

#andbeforeweforget

#shouldershrugokayjapan

in case you haven't been watching the news lately, the world is about literally on fire and on the verge of war. we are headed towards the abyss and only on the third month of 2026 nonetheless. it is indeed shocking but even more shocking would be is if that is what you coming to the sesh to talk about. the village don't do current events and politics like that in case you have forgotten. there are other podcasts and shows that are built for that and that's not what you here for. you here for the silly and the silly is what you about to get. hell we were all today years old when we learned that opening lines to the lion king song was look there's a lion oh my god. yeah this is what you came for right here. you need shit like this especially in these times. we take a look at cartoon characters who we would like to fight just off the general principle. we think we had a pretty list going of justifiable world star moments with animated characters. oh don't give us that shit you probably got a couple characters yourself that you would be like you gonna have to square up. feel free to let us know in the comments which one come to mind for you if you dare. we also take a look down the rabbit hole of strange addictions including one that was a little too close to home for our tastes. enough for us to start wondering where are your families to slap you up side the head and yelling what the fuck is wrong with you? you may say that is a bit harsh but then again also watched a nigga admit he was addicted to eating cardboard and then to make it even more of a what the absolute fuck are we doing another nigga that was addicted to eating the couch cushion filling. had to watch two niggas that needed to step outside and have the boyz in the hood saxophones kicking in and something to happen to them. them niggas need to be off the streets for everyone safety. speaking of safety we take a look at the classic episode of cheaters where the host whom look as much as a sleaze as the cheaters he spying on mind you, guess it's just a 90s thing I presume, gets stabbed and bleeds out pretty bad yet keep the cameras rolling. classic bullshit in reality history. cheating ain't worth it folks. work it out or leave them. yet even more we also pay tribute on national women's month we put some respect on some of our favorite videogame heroines from action to fighting there are enough bad ass women in one of our favorite hobbies to make quite the list. we might do that but don't hold us to that we be smoking and thinking out loud sometimes. and be honest with the weather warming up and the earth getting crazier and crazier out here but life is good for us at the moment. the world may blow up the next day but the village will be here for sesh and the silly. and given the state of the world right now you gonna need both. of course you do right now good sir have you not seen the news lately

#youshouldprobablylookathenewssometimes

#rightnowwouldbeagoodtimetobegin

#theworldabouttobelitup

#butthevillagewillneverdisappear

#faceityouneedit

#strangeaddictionsarenideedstrange

#imeaneatingcardboardnigga

#thefuckiswrongwiththemniggas

#outtingsomerespectinourfavoritehobbies

#fromnintendotoplaystationandbeyond

#mandy

#guyonthecouchj

#gorillagripgoblinthatcockandballssammysam

#orginalgerudo

#smokehokage

#smokegodniga

#youshouldbesmoking

#noreallyyouveseenthenews

#youshouldreallybesmoking

#sharewithus

yes that's right vai and voe we sliding into black history month and if you are living in the area which got snow with a topping of ice combination the sliding is literal. the first month of the new season has given us ice acting with impunity. it's given us caviar mcnuggets. yes that's actually a thing wish we were joking. I mean if you thought the words gas station sushi should never go together, there you go a one up for you. but in order to get ourselves into the silly ass shit we used to considering how silly shit has gotten out there. we have also witnessed a boxer get his hair piece knocked off. can only sing bald nigga so many times in one day. I can only ask what are doing so many times in one episode, nor my entire life. but with some soul music that your mama cleans the house to I promise you that much. remember your mama may listen and dance to Beyonce, but she will go to a concert to see Anita Baker go ahead ask her. we got the good shit going for black history while we continue with our silliness that you come here for even though sometimes when you bring up the history it is a bit depressing. we do a little mini countdown of malt liquors. granted all of them are god awful but some more than others. feel free to listen and add your horror stories with malt liquor from that 211 to that BIlly Dee, we know you got at least one. and in even more fun we all sit and watch for the first time Eddie Murphy and as anyone who listens knows we here consider him to be one of if not the funniest man alive. it is some classic shit to smoke to and have a good laugh at. would some of the jokes still land today?? maybe. maybe not. wouldn't really bet on it though. for his first one not bad I will say. we have more silliness coming up for the month as well and more life lessons that don;t sound like anti weed propagada from back when the war on drugs was failing miserably and they didn't wish to admit it. man those things we lame as fuck. we have failed the dare lion so horribly and he should have seen it coming. we may not know what will be coming next but we do know there will soul this month. and love. and peace. and smoooookkkkkkke!!!!!!!!

#thatprobablysoundedcoolerinmyhead

#doesntlookascoolwrittenoutnow

#ahwellnotchangingshitnow

#baldniggabaldniggabaldnigga

#howyougetyourwigknockedoff

#topfivemaltliquors

#allofthemterrible

#spoileralert

#soulmusicbackground

#theseshgotsoul

#thevillagealwaysgotsoul

#watchingeddiemurphyfirstcomedyspecial

#stillfunniestniggaalive

#mandy

#guyonthecouch

#originalgerudo

#smokehokage

#smokegodniga

#stillworkingonthatone

#butyoushouldbesmoking

#giventhewaythingsarewhynot

#wewillsmokeitwithyou

#sosmokeit

so yeah disclaimers ahead of the show, we read whatever the fuck we want on this show so if anything or any of the subject matter offends or make you feel a type of way, that all sounds like a you issue. how you feel about it is up to you. that being said, I am more than honored to say that I have my friend's magnum opus, his peak when itcomes to his writing and I say that as not just a friend but as a fellow writer. it is a wonderful thing to have someone actually find their passion and while I feel that this is their best work so far, I will wait for the next one to show me he still has more to offer. you done come a long way from the skatepark my friend you should be proud. but that's enough praise and shit time to be men . but hopefully did your work some justice and hopefully those who listen will hear what you have to say. glad to be a part of this and hopefully the listeners will be as well.

#yourbestworksofar

#anyonewhofeelsatypeofwayknowstheretoaddresstheirissue

#heavybutneedstobeheard

#speakingfromtheheartonthisone

#yourmagnumopus

#readyforthenextone

#eventhoughyouwroteatoughacttofollow

#mandy

#guyonthecouch

#gorillagripgoblinsammysam

#originalgerudo

#smokehokage

#smokegodNiga

#workingonlastone

yeah that's right the second week of the new year and already things have gone to complete hell. well we went in expecting things to be ridiculous and we here at phat dabs do enjoy our ridiculous but in the comfort of our own village where the weed is plentiful and everything makes sense. and with the modern times just losing all its luster and we talk about the duffer brothers and their inability to shut the fuck up when it comes to owning up to their fuck ups when it comes to their show. I mean my brothers in christ this is your show and for future writers and show creators here are a few rules for you. you cannot have a high stakes villain where everything is on the line and anything can and will happen, someone from the main crew has to die. it is law i'm sorry. someone got to go and to play it safe is just cowardly. and when you do fuck up do not try to do damage control where you make it a thousand times worse by showing that you couldn't have given a good damn about your show. it wasn't cups in game of thrones level of fuck up but it was disrespectful nonetheless. but enough of them, their fans and their inability to cope there are more pressing matters to get into. like what you ask. let me tell you shut up. we show the michael concert movie moonwalker where the video smooth criminal comes from and where your teller at a younger age nearly shattered every bone in his ankles trying to do that damn lean from the same video. also there's a part where he turns into a megazord and shoots Joe Pesci with a laser while transformed into a spaceship. you are high enough for this shit. we were. you will be as well we promise. and in between that we introduce ourselves to the silliness that were video game commercials from the Nintendo line from the early 80s to now just to show you how far we;ve come. you don't get quality shit like that no more let us tell you. we also discuss the early racism in Disney movies and your grandparent's inability to understand why it was wrong even if it was the times back then. the times back then were still wrong and fucked up let's stop pretending that it wasn't. it was unavoidable and really made us wonder what was really going on with y'all's entertainment back in the day. and we also have a word for the gooners out there and kindly request that you leave that shit in the rear view and learn to talk to some women in the this new year. despite what the internet may tell you, they really aren't that bad we promise. we here at phat dabs will not steer you wrong. we could ask so many questions but the main one for gooners is what the fuck is wrong with you??? we don't judge yes we do let us stop lying. no seriously what are you doing??? you're being weird. stop being weird. you're not even being quirky, you're just being weird. and that goes for all you guys that fetishise goth and nerd chicks as well. stop it. but then again this is coming from someone who dated nerd and goths when it was a secret and no one would bother asking why because it wasn't their business. but that's your teller getting sentimental about his good old days and we hope you're out here making the best of your days while you're still able to. there's enough silly shit for us to escape to and even more fun for us to get into before the weather gets warm and the madness truly begins. either way the bowl mates will be at the village watching it all from the comfort of our own homes. we'll be here losing faith in humanity one soul at a time.

#tryitsometimeyourfaithwillgoquickerthanyouthink

#ownuptoyourmistakesdufferbrothers

#someoneshouldhavetoldthemtoshutthefuckup

#michaeljacksonstillgotit

#moonwalkerstillaclassic

#relivingolftraumaformmyankles

#videogamecommercialswerefunbackthen

#justthewayitisnowadaysanditsucks

#yougoonersneedhelp

#whenyoupullingmuscleswhilegooningrethinkyourlife

#listentounderstand

#mandy

#guyonthecouch

#gorillagripgoblinthatcockandballssammysam

#originalgerudo

well well well it's about time hit you off with a bonus poetry episode and who better than my good friend Justin who is always willing to let me read some of his best work on air because everyone needs some good shit to smoke to. go ahead and take a toke or two or however many it takes to get you there while his words and this voice take you on a short jaywalk or journey whichever way you wish to go we won't judge you we promise. just know that all stoned ways lead to the hidden sesh village for the year while no one is claiming the next season to be theirs at the very least it won't be a complete wash. w here at the village don't give up hope we get back up and get back to the smoke and the silliness. hopefully these poems will make you feel somethings and even look up his work. you should do so. trust your teller on this one. you won't be disappointed.

#quickbonusepisodethistime

#onlywishihadmoretoread

#hopefullyididyourworksomejustice

#Mandy

#guyonthecouch

#gorillagripgoblinthatcockandballssammysam

#originalgerudo

#smokehokage

#smokegodniga

#patentonthatonestillpending

#youshouldbesmoking

so yeah your gerudo gets a little sentimental during the holiday season and when do express my feelings in a genuine manner, it does get tough at times (words don't come easy to me, shut the fuck up youtube random music generator i'm serious), but yeah take every word where I wished everyone a happy holidays and all that other shit you will have to listen to find out what I said, just know I mean every word and feel them because they're mine and because they're real. and that is enough of that for a bit. sorry but in all my travels and tales I very rarely give myself a moment to sit and reflect on the shit that matters to me and with the season finale of 2025 coming up in a week, I felt compelled to look for some funny and silly shit on Reddit and I should really know better than to go down the Reddit hole but hey balance. I give you my heart and I feel it's only right to give you other people's dysfunction. Balance or some other shit like that. I'm certain there's something funny or at least entertaining in there somewhere but hell I'm not gonna hold you I just felt better getting some of that off my chest. and heading into the season premiere of 2026 who knows what will happen but I do know the bowl mates are going nowhere because the next year brings more smoke and more silliness, and you should come along for both. you won't be disappointed we assure you.

#noseriouslymerrychristmasmuthafuckas

#weloveallofyallwholistenwhereeveryoumaybe

#loveforthebowlmates

#loveforthegoodbrother

#loveforthebloodandbuiltfamily

#thatsallthesentimentyouget

#seasonpremireof2026comingsoon

#noonesayingthiswillbetheiryear

#itwontbutthatdontmeanitwillbeabadone

#stillbehighthroughthemall

#mandy

#guyonthecouch

#gorillagripgoblinthatcockandballssammysam

#originalgerudo

#smokehokage

#smokegodniga

#PDITM

#youshouldbesmoking