Tuesday is Valentines Day; time to speak of love in all its forms. The many and varied ways we express our love and receive love from others shape the world we live in.

When you don’t pay attention, you don’t see other people, whether acquaintances or lovers. When you give your full attention, they become your entire world. It’s only through attention that a relationship exists at all. If you pay no attention, that person does not even exist for you.

It is vital to a peaceful relationship to create time apart, outside of the obligations and responsibilities of work, upkeep activities and childcare. This should be unscheduled time that is yours to fill as you will with friends, other activities, and even being entirely alone.

In order to have the kind of relationship that brings peace and mutual happiness, it’s necessary to know you’re both committed to the relationship; that you’re in it together. It is so important to know that you’re both on the same side.

One practice that’s a major part of how we are together is what we call sacred space – the time when we are together for the purpose of being together. Although every couple has a different way of approaching this, all joyous and nourishing ones have this.

Differences are often seen as areas of problem and conflict in a relationship. The simple act of accepting your differences will have an enormous and freeing effect on both of you.

Here we are at the start of a brand new year. Many of us will spend time reflecting on what growth and changes to make in the year to come. Let’s remember to support each other and be willing to open up to the changes that create growth.

In these strange times where some people seem to be trying to emphasize our differences, let us remember that every major religion and people from all around the globe has known and practiced a great truth, the Golden Rule, in one form or another for thousands of years!

Everybody wants a sense of fairness in their relationship, and many people do this by making lists and keeping score. This is detrimental to the relationship, as by measuring your actions to those of your partner, you are no longer viewing the relationship from a place of union.

Core values – what exactly are they? They differ from person to person, and if your partner’s values don’t match yours, they will emerge as irreconcilable differences in your most serious arguments. Phil and Maude discuss their core values.