What is a successful relationship? What does it mean, and even more importantly, how does it feel? Recently we posed these questions and were looking for ways to talk about it that would help communicate the essence of the experience.

How do you determine a person to be authentic? An authentic person is someone who is who they say they are. To be authentic requires a sense of self that realizes others won’t always agree with your perceptions, and that this isn’t a challenge to who you are.

How do you know if the person you are dating is right for you? If the answer were obvious, there wouldn’t be so many advice columnists. How do you make your way through a fog of conflicting messages? What can you trust from your responses?

The very heart of our relationship is that we are partners, lovers, and friends. We always want the best for each other, and we can always find ways to make decisions and solve problems that work for both of us.

When you have an issue to resolve, remember you are on the same side and seek a mutual solution. A merged self comes to the fore and your answer is the result of each of you combined. It’s not a compromise. It’s new and encompasses both of your desires.

People often enter a relationship to fill a void. It may seem at the beginning of such a relationship that their needs are getting fulfilled, but the sad thing is that one can never fill that sense of lack by getting it from someone else.

The view that arguments are inevitable in relationships is unfortunately one that has been popularized, but is not true. You do not always have to struggle and work in order for your relationship to be full of calm, ease, and at the same time, juicy passion.

Whether lifestyle, sex, money, religion or décor, people have very different and varied ways to relate to each other. Don’t restrict what works for you by trying to conform to social expectations. The more the way you are together fits what you want, the happier you will be.

We participate in many activities and interactions that we feel are really important to feeding our relationship on an ongoing basis, and think that you too can find a host of fun and nourishing actions to feed your relationship.

If love, not fear, is the basis with which we relate to each other, then we will feel safe to communicate. We will work to find mutual solutions and we will become stronger and more united in our relationship.