Tell you all a story about franchises and the thief in the night.

Tansy love heist movies! Charles doesn't care for them! But she's going to make him care by the end of this pitch, by weaving a tale about failed YA franchises, disillusioned child stars and stealing Daniel Radcliffe's prize diamond collection.

Wolfmother Songs Featured:

Joker and the Thief

Chase the Feeling

Woman

New Moon Risisng

I was a teenaged anarchist, looking for a beloved childhood author who didn't turn out to be a TERF.

Charles has a lot of feelings. Some of them are about Remus Lupin. Some of them are about JK Rowling. Some of them are about how your own interpretation of a work can't be taken away from you by the author.

Songs Featured:

I Was A Teenaged Anarchist (Against Me!)

Edge of Seventeen (Stevie Nicks)

Personality Crisis (New York Dolls)

Rebel Rebel (David Bowie)

United (Throbbing Gristle)

Star Wars Main Theme (John Williams)

Neville's Waltz (Patrick Doyle)

Fuck This Shit I'm Out (The Theme Song)

It's time to get medieval!

Tansy is here to pitch a post-apocalyptic medieval adventure comedy based on Montaigne's medieval adventure banger! Plus a very long Mendo impression and the worst lesson from Game of Thrones.

Songs Featured:

The Dying Song (Montaigne)

Glorious Heights (Montaigne)

READY (Montaigne)

The Force Is With You (John Williams)

The Ways Of The Force (John Williams)

Send Me On My Way (Rusted Root)

Wonderwall (Oasis)

Horse With No Rider (Alan Menken)

Escape Route (Alan Menken)

Shrike (Hozier)

And after alllllll I still hate Wonderwall....

Charles elevates the most meh song of a generation, turning it into a high concept medieval fantasy. And Tansy gets way into sound design.

Songs Used

- Wonderwall (Oasis)

- Wonderwall (The Mike Flowers Pops)

- Don't Look Back In Anger (Oasis)

- Champagne Supernova (Oasis)

- Cigarettes and Alcohol (Oasis)

- Brick By Boring Brick (Paramore)

- Only Time (Enya)

- Call Me Joker (Hildur Guðnadóttir)

- Defeated Clown (Hildur Guðnadóttir)

- Leyfðu ljósinu (Hildur Guðnadóttir)

- In The Woods Somewhere (Hozier)

Who needs to go to sleep, when time has no meaning anymore?

It's Ex Machina Dua Lipa. What else am I meant to say here?

Dua Lipa Songs Featured:

- Physical

- One Kiss

- New Rules

- IDGAF

Can you feel it coming?

Saro has felt it coming in the air, lived through the 'rona and rewatched The Seventh Seal to bring you his pitch for In The Air Tonight. Call George Clooney, get Daniel Radcliffe to practice his southern accent and cock your glock in preparation for this rollercoaster of philosophy, ethics and drum breaks.

Phil Collins Songs Featured:

- In The Air Tonight

- Another Day In Paradise

- Trashin The Camp

Dunno how you've been spending your isolation but Charles has been getting into Animal Crossing. Not the actual game, just the drama.

Also sorry about the audio quality.

Songs Featured:

Animal (Muse)

Fight Night (Hans Zimmer & Junkie XL)

Hi, my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way....

The terrible fanfiction that launched a thousand dramatic readings is back, like you've never seen it before. Tansy takes you on an adventure through Undertale Tumblr, the NYT Bestseller List, Vegas magic shows and Fanfiction.net in 2006, all in search of an answer to the internet mystery of the decade - who wrote My Immortal? And did they really mean for it to be so bad?

Plus special guest Pierce Wilcox, a bigfoot hunter, a discussion of how sitting with boys makes you cool (in 2005) and possibly the first ever use of the phrase "a snake eating its own ass".

Songs Featured:

My Immortal (Evanescence)

Bring Me To Life (Evanescence)

Call Me When You're Sober (Evanescence)

Zendaya Is Meechee (Gabriel Gundacker)

Rejected Lyrics to HBO's Succession Theme (Demi Adejuyigbe)

We're all on Twitter! Find us there if you hate us as much as we hate ourselves!

Don't fuck the moon.

Phil Collins Songs Featured:

- Sussudio

- Another Day in Paradise

- You Can't Hurry Love

- Against All Odds

We're back, in miniature form!

ngl Charles had an idea for a new segment and the new episode was already too long so here's the stuff we'd normally chuck in the garbage pile but here we are. Enjoy? We'll be back in full on Wednesday.

Songs Featured

Six Feet Apart - Alec Benjamin

Human Touch - Betty Who