Planet Birth

Planet Birth

By Jay, Ethan, & TylerFictionComedy Fiction
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Planet Birth episodes

  • Planet Birth #6 - Big Dick Super Magic

    *kerchoo* ... That was the sound of us hypnotizing you with our magic ear lobes. Yeah. That's right. Magic motherfuckin' ear lobes, bitch. Can you believe that? George R.R. Martin could never. That's why we explicitly redacted all floppy wieners from our universe. Except one: THE ONE DICK TO RULE THEM ALL! Wanna know who's got that precious pp? Looks like you're gonna have to listen to find out...

    38 min
  • Planet Birth #5 - Sex Attics and the Penal System

    'Sup shawty. In this eppy, we submerge ourselves into the intriguing world of fluid dynamics. Ooooh. Ahhhh. If that doesn't immediately demand your full attention and eternal devotion, then perhaps us toying with the notion of Ethan's celibacy will. Beyond that we dip into lakes of acid, horizontal rain, dry water, wet Jesus, Gaymerfuel, naval vessels, static meteorology, and pet birth control. So buckle up! Cause this one's a doozy...

    38 min
  • Planet Birth #4 - The Blacker the Berry, the Sweeter the Jews
    Henlo my fellow flat-birthers. On this episode, we [REDACTED] and delve into the political realm [REDACTED] and also [REDACTED]. Did you know that President George W. Bush [REDACTED] a peanut butter, [REDACTED], and mayonnaise sandwich every day of his two terms with his [REDACTED]. We also [REDACTED] the physics of Dingus II and its repercussions. Do we also add new minerals, [REDACTED], and even DOUBLE JUMPS?? You bet your [REDACTED] we do.
    41 min
  • Planet Birth #3 - Tentacle Evangelist

    2 Things. First of all, none of us can orgasm. It's just not in the budget. Secondly, some of us REALLY want there to be tentacles at the center of the universe. 

    Strap in, folks. As always- we are your hosts, and we are just so sorry about all this. It's really our bad.

    40 min
  • Planet Birth #1 - Topgolf at the Center of the Universe

    Last episode we tried out a new format, kinda liked it, and decided to keep it. But our old name "Hear Me Out" doesn't quite explain what that new format is. Sooo we're changing it. We are tentatively  "Planet Birth" from now on!

    A quick synopsis of what Planet Birth is/will be about: the 3 of us are building a universe! We'll be inventing and creating everything from the ground up, so nothing is off the table. This first episode lays the foundation of what the universe looks like, how it was created, and early civilization. Once we get the foundation settled, we'll start defining the society and culture of this new world. We are still primarily a jokes podcast, so it will still be funny, don't worry! Thanks for sticking with us through this long hiatus and now a change in format/name. 


    40 min
  • HMO.Gov #1 - SWEAR ON A TEEN VOGUE

    It's finally here. The first episode in our long-awaited, critically acclaimed, hater-feared, fan-favorite new name and format. We've got 3 episodes in the bag right now, and dambi if they aren't some of the funniest things the 3 of us have said in a group together (besides that one time Jay's milkshake fell on the floor but that's another story).  This episode, we litigate and fully solve the legal status of Dating but Not Married, & also discover why Buying The Cow is even more advisable in 2020. Shoutout @teenvogue   Enjoy.

    21 min
  • HMO 9 (Pt. 1): Didney World
    Our first two-parter! Our Guest, Haley Kellam, sure brought out a lot of conversation :). The gang discusses the State of the State of Florida, Ketchup vs Syrup (or maybe both?), & plays fuck, marry, kill with mythical creatures.
    1 hr 11 min
  • Short Stack 3: YEP.

    We talk about Spiderman, his phone autorotate situation, the sex appeal of different Spiderman versions, Hollywood's obsession with shooting doors to either open or lock them (whichever is convenient for the protagonist), Star Wars Physics & battle tactics.  We might be taking ourselves a bit too seriously this episode, but hey - that's life.

    36 min
  • HMO 8: The Doritos Locos Pancake (Ft. Jack P.)
    Jack Purdy rejoins the cast of Hear Me Out for a second tour. He's a seasoned Veteran, and honestly shows us a thing or two about podcasting. Food Sins,  Pots in one Hand, Spoon in the Other, Subway Surfers Child Endangerment, Surprisingly serious discussions about new vice presidency rules & college reform. 
    Also- your Siri WILL go off around the 70 min mark. Sorriee
    1 hr 17 min

About Planet Birth

From the publisher's feed

Join the Planet Birthers (Jay, Ethan, & Tyler) as we create a new fantasy universe live on air. There's no prep work, no outlines, and no rules besides the ones we make up along the way! We don't know what topics we'll cover or what we'll say next, but we do know that it will never be boring.