This post was originally posted on April 13, 2018, and has been fully updated on July 30, 2019 to include an audio (Podcast) version, a video (YouTube) version, and to include some basic updates (like I had another baby!). Enjoy! xx Andrea

If you want to watch me record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

When beginning Elimination Communication with a baby or young toddler, you may be wondering what to expect as far as back-ups go.

(If you aren't wondering yet, then you're still using diapers as a back-up. After reading this opening sentence, perhaps you are NOW wondering what lies ahead for your EC journey...regarding back-ups!)

Which types of back-up can you choose from? Which are appropriate when? Which will help your baby learn the *most* at which ages and stages?

But, wait! Let's first answer the question:

An elimination communication "back-up" is what you clothe your baby's bottom in to support toilet learning, keep baby comfortable, maximize the sensation of feeling wet, maximize baby's independence, and keep your floors and their clothing dry (when that's important). Back-ups can range from a disposable diaper to completely naked, from cloth pull-up covers to tiny underwear.

Let's now discuss further.

I am asked this question almost every single day on our private book owners' facebook group and by email:

"Those of you with older babes or who've been through this once before: when did you ditch diapers and just do training pants or undies all the time (or at least all the time during the day)? Why did you pick that time? Would you do it the same again? I feel like we’re ready with my 11 month old, during the day at least, but he’s on the verge of walking so was thinking once he hits that milestone, diapers only for sleep.

Edited to add: We are actually in trainers most of the waking hours now. I think the biggest change would be going out of the house in trainers." -Rachel

First, here is my overall guiding advice:

Use whichever backup helps baby signal the most clearly, helps you stay the most sane and calm, keeps baby the most content, and helps support baby's current developmental activities and independence best.

Second, if you are doing elimination communication (EC) with your baby, we need to make one subtle yet important shift in your view of the diaper:

When doing EC, the diaper is no longer his or her primary toilet. It is now considered a "back-up."

You must shift your perspective to using the diaper as a "back-up" for when you are not on it, when baby is not on it, when baby is sick, when it is inconvenient to potty baby (like while traveling), or for accidents and emergencies.

If you are toilet training your toddler, the diaper is immediately removed from the picture during the day. If you are not night training alongside daytime, you will likely still use a diaper at night, but as with EC, the diaper is now considered a "back-up," not a full-time toilet.

Let's begin with newborns.

And, btw, throughout this post I'm going to sprinkle in little graphics of what I've used with my own babies. :) (Updated March 2025)

I highly recommend using cloth diapers from birth, if you are able to. Don't let this overwhelm you by thinking it has to be complicated: you can just fold the insert into 3rds and lay it inside a cloth diaper shell (or use an AIO system that has a shell and an insert laid on top of it - not stuffed) and then snap or velcro that baby into place for easy ons and offs. . No need for snappies or pins.

Some folks like to use only a cotton prefold with a snappie, no cover.

Some will use a "workhorse" which is just the inside part of the cloth diaper fastened to itself thru sewn-in velcro or snaps (or held together with a snappi or pins).

You can also do "sumo style" (below) with a diaper belt holding a prefold in place, as described in my book. Many options.

If there is a cloth diaper service in your area, please hire them! Ask a relative to give you at least 3 months of service as a shower gift.

The reason I recommend a cloth diaper service (vs. washing yourself) is that you are going to have a lot of diapers that only have one tiny "shart" (what we call a wet fart in our household) on them, and those will have to be laundered. You will be catching a lot of pees and poos in the toilet at the easier-to-EC newborn stage. Those shart diapers can be so annoying, and overwhelming...so do yourself a favor and have someone else launder them.

If the cloth diaper is rubbing against baby's umbilical stump prior to it falling off, you may want to use a newborn disposable diaper for the first 2 weeks (the ones that have the little cut-out for the cord). If the cloth diaper is giant on your tiny baby, and you just can't get it going, use disposables for a spell.

The disposable question is an important one. I have personally used a mix of cloth and disposables with my babies.

Again, we go back to the overall guideline: what does baby signal best in?

Personally, my first signaled best in cloth; my subsequent 4 babies have signaled best in disposables. Prior to my most recent baby, Twyla, I had *only* ever used Seventh Generation Diapers...they were fairly leak-proof but they did feel pretty wet after baby goes, and most babies do not like how it feels so will avoid peeing in them.

However, Seventh Gen has changed their diapers again and they are now, in my personal opinion, ugly (they used to be undyed, no patterns, now they have yellowish loud designs all over them!), and more importantly, way too wicking. And they pretty much never biodegrade!

•With my 5th baby, we used Dyper biodegradable diapers as a back-up at night. She typically woke up dry and I would hear her in the other room over the monitor, go to her, potty her over the sink in their room (it's a farmhouse so the sink is in the bedroom!), running water if need be to relax her, then nurse her back to sleep. She usually would wake up wet in the final morning wakeup at 7am, but she'd also usually pee after I nurse her. For us the Dyper backup has been a really great tool, and we re-use a lot of them at night.

(Even if it took 1 year for this diaper to biodegrade, the alternative is daunting. 500 years is waaaaaay more than "seven generations" if you ask me. The type of disposable you choose CAN make a huge difference.)

When to stop using disposables if you get into that rhythm and feel too comfortable with them? Stop using them when you feel guilty about using them. Stop using them when you notice baby is starting to feel comfortable peeing in them (ie: doesn't mind at all). Stop using them when baby stops signaling well in them.

In fact, no matter which backup you choose, when baby begins to feel comfortable in them and stop signaling (or you guys get way off track), that is exactly when to (1) change back-ups or (2) stop using diapers altogether.

I've heard too many stories from people in our EC circles where the mom said "I should have stopped using diapers at about 12 or 13 months, but I waited til 17 months to be a little more child-led. It was a huge mistake and I am certain that this is why she is resisting, regressing, and not wanting to keep her pants dry."

In 1957...92% of babies were toilet trained in the US by 18 months (not an average...this is when this many babies were completely done with the whole process).

So it is wise to give up diapers between 12-18 months, at the very latest, and to begin working on wrap up after baby begins to walk well on her own.

Okay so let's get back to ages now.

(Newborns, continued...)

One more thing I'd like to note about the newborn age is that in remote civilizations and intact cultures, most babies are worn in a baby carrier (this is my fave) for the first 3 months or so, during the majority of the day.

When laid on the ground, they are free to move and wriggle and find their mobility, themselves (a concept championed by Montessori). But during most of the day they are engaging with mother or father's world thru being in-arms/in-carrier.

This is great for EC! You will either get a squirmy, fussy baby signal or a warm/wet sensation (ghost pee) as a signal to let baby out of the carrier and offer the potty.

If you're babywearing a lot of the day, or during an outing, or around the house, you can choose to have your baby in a back-up or not - you are less likely to have misses, so consider this option if it works for you.

Again, if a baby freely pees without a signal in *any* backup, it's probably time to change that backup to something more effective.

For newborns at night, you'll typically want to use the same thing you used during the day. I will explain by sharing examples from my own children.

With my first, I had the cloth diaper service, so he slept in cloth. I also co-slept with him and pottied him/nursed him at every wake-up - approximately every 2 hours for 2 years - so I probably caught 50/50 in the nighttime until he moved to his own bed at 24 months.

After the 3 months of cloth diaper service ended, I used a hemp/cotton prefold folded into 3rds inside a wool diaper cover. I never experienced leaks.

He was dry at night by 26 months.

However!

With my 4 youngest babies, I've chosen to use a (now biodegradable Dyper) disposable diaper backup at night. Why? To help them sleep better.

You see, with these 4, I chose to "sleep train" - which basically means to teach them how to connect their sleep cycles. It has ranged from sitting in the room and patting every 2 or 3 minutes to just letting them fuss for 1 or 2 minutes before finding their sleep, to not focusing on it at all and just putting baby to bed in a different room.

I co-slept with these 4 babies for the first 4 months and then moved them into their own floor bed or crib in a separate room, with a baby monitor, and began to teach them how to sleep. This was a great choice for us.

How did I do it? Well, I used a custom sleep training plan from the Baby Sleep Site. It is not CIO (cry-it-out) and it really did serve to improve these 4 babies' moods and daytime energy levels. I would recommend using the sleep teaching methods found at the BSS - custom or quick version - if you feel you need it. With my youngest, I needed help right at 3 weeks old! I was a MESS! Full permission granted.

But, yes, disposables did help with sleep training - and often my babies came up dry despite the back-up. For me, it worked.

My three middle children were dry at night at 26 months, 30 months, and 28 months.

So, the nighttime back-up choice for a newborn, in my unscientific experience, generally does not impact the length of time to night dryness. Our 100,000s of readers have shown similar results.

As for nighttime EC, I did do it with all 5 of my babies but for the last 4 of my children I did this: for the first 3 months while they were newborns and in need of highly-extra-special-responsive baby care, 24/7, I did nighttime EC all night while cosleeping, then I moved them into a crib in the room or a floor bed at 3 or 4 months old, and all the while used disposables at night with them to help them sleep. Again, often they awoke dry. If they woke in the night, I'd potty first, then nurse, then we'd all go back to sleep.

(Nighttime EC is covered in-depth in my book.)

In conclusion, using cloth diapers with a newborn, 24/7, is best to keep baby sensitive - and to keep YOU motivated to wrap it up at earlier and earlier ages. However, use what makes the most sense for you, knowing that - if you use sposies - you'll probably cut your disposable diaper usage down to 1/3 of what those who do conventional potty training use...so it's still a big win. Especially if you go biodegradable!

When baby begins to roll over around 4 months of age, which marks the beginning of mobility, she will often stop signaling as strongly. Alternatively, the signal changes or becomes more subtle, and baby begins to focus all efforts on getting that basic roll over (and roll back the other way) developmental task.

During that time we support baby's budding mobility by giving diaper-free time as often as possible.

But, wait! What is diaper-free time?

Diaper-free time means spending some time with baby dressed in something other than a diaper. It can be naked time, time in undies or trainers, or time in split pants.

I like to do diaper-free time with my Tiny Trainers line of training pants, which come in size 6 months and up. You can see when they are wet and change and offer the potty immediately - and they allow ultra-mobility and flexibility to support your baby in tackling this mobility task.

During other times when you're more distracted or diaper-free time is inconvenient (ie: when you are cooking, or on an outing, or when baby is in childcare, or while baby is napping), you can use a diaper back-up of your choice.

Again, use the overall guideline of whatever works best. Switching back-ups at different times does not confuse the child, but I would suggest being consistent with the times you use a certain back-up so baby can learn the routine.

If your baby is poop trained and does well in training pants, you can exclusively use them as early as 5 months of age - with no diapers from then on! I tried trainers with my first baby off and on (except there were not 100% cotton training pants in his size at that time), but I have to share that...

...some of my readers have completely ditched diapers at 5 months old because they were able to stay stress-free and calm during misses, were able to be very responsive to their babies, and had wood floors (!) so cleanup was fairly easy as well. They also had my Tiny Trainers which truly make a difference in completely ditching diapers at this young age.

The "con" to this is that if you have a poop miss, it is a crazy messy cleanup. If you have a full pee miss, it is often hard to pull the wet training pants off (kind of like pulling a wet bathing suit off a child).

However!

I've developed a new product, TinyUps, that solves part of this latter conundrum: they have a bamboo fleece lining and 3 snaps on the sides, so removing them is super easy. You can pair them over Tiny Trainers or Tiny Undies, or you can use them solo (although they do not catch much of a pee and will leak with no additional trainers/undies inside, they are fantastic for just being around the home with a poop-trained baby).

One final note on the "rolling" task - sometimes you may think that baby is resisting the potty during the 3-5 month range, but in fact baby is trying on the movement of "rolling" as his primary developmental task...even when being placed on the potty! It's not resistance...it's an ineffective effort at practicing the roll. :)

Also, a baby in this pre-mobile stage, in any natural environment where there are no diapers or much clothing, would just pee and roll away from the pee. Newborns even do this when they "crawl" in the bed while sleeping, after waking slightly to pee. Human instincts are so strong. And, thus, signaling comes to a halt with most 4 months old babies.

Which leads to the next developmental task: sitting and crawling.

First know that:

you will likely have more misses during this phase, as baby is on the move, developing rapidly, and in a natural environment would no longer need your assistance to pee in an appropriate place.

When your baby begins sitting unassisted (or trying to do so), there may be a bit of distraction. This is their developmental focus at the moment, and they become single-focused on it.

Again, think about it: in a natural environment, baby could pee and then move to the side if sitting or trying to sit, so many do not signal because why would they need your help at this stage? They can do it themselves (again, IF in a natural environment with no bottoms on and warm weather out).

So, the backup will need to be adjusted (or understood) accordingly.

They can also begin to poop or pee when in the high chair during this stage (due to the familiar sitting position, the relaxation, the time of day), so I will use a back-up there because it is not fun to clean that up in a sanitary food-serving environment! :)

This behavior does pass, and in our family we have come to enjoy the hilarious rushing of the baby to the potty after he begins to bear down in his high chair:

Wait! We say as we rush him to the potty to help him finish there (which he often does - 1/2 or 3/4 catch, and lately a full catch).

It's ok to pause mealtime for a potty break, especially when it's for a poop, just be sure you have a hand towel nearby to clean up hands and face before you whisk baby off to the potty.

With my first, EC did take a small backslide during the week when he was learning to crawl (belly off the ground). We had the only week of poop misses in his entire babyhood: during that week.

I responded by being more vigilant and staying calm, staying the course, and within a week we were back on track. We were using cloth diapers at home...and we stayed with it.

When your baby begins crawling, or is working on that developmental task, misses can substantially increase. At these times it's important to dress baby in a back-up that keeps you calm and continues to teach your baby.

How to stay calm? Just by remember this: stick with it, and it will pass.

During this time we often change to a toilet seat reducer. Babies escaping mini potties? Not fun. Not productive. Very frustrating, indeed.

Then we get into pulling up to standing position. At this time (or maybe before if you're lucky), baby often begins resisting diaper changes. In fact, way back at rolling, baby probably was already "resisting" diaper changes by wanting to roll instead. It is almost reflexive.

At this point it is helpful to begin teaching baby to sit on the potty by placing it behind her legs and asking her to sit while she is pulling up or standing unassisted, balancing.

Back-ups at the pulling up to standing and "creeping" along furniture (and you) stage should again be whatever is most effective on the most levels (see the overall guidelines again).

However, if you're having a major diaper-changing war at this age, you can change to Tiny Trainers or TinyUps cloth pullup covers (or a combination of both) and have a much easier time changing baby standing up. Use a cover, like my TinyUps, if you wish to also protect the pants, or use TinyUps solo if you're just around the house and it works for you.

Pair either with some BabyLeggings (use my code GDF16 for 5 free pair of legwarmers!) and maybe some socks or booties like these by Hudson...and baby will stay warm, you will see when she's wet, and you can change her standing up.

I definitely recommend Tiny Trainers and TinyUps at this age IF your baby is mostly poop-trained, or if you know her poop timing well enough. Often the trainers will enhance signaling and learning, dramatically...and will keep you more aware of signals (because there is more at stake!).

If you are cloth diapering at this time, you can use a sumo-style cloth diaper back-up - which is simply a tri-folded toddler-sized prefold cloth diaper or insert which is held in place with a diaper belt. This is good for observation time (get a log here), getting back on track, and easy stand-up diaper changes while you both are learning (or feeling lazy). I like to use a burp cloth instead of a cloth diaper, held in place with a diaper belt, because it is much easier to see when baby is wet. Your choice!

During all this, if baby is cutting a new tooth, is ill or becoming sick, or anything else is changing inside her body or outside in her environment, potty behaviors may change. Perhaps an increase in misses, perhaps resistance to pottying, perhaps poop misses where before you never had 'em, and perhaps you catch way more (diarrhea especially) because baby is sick.

Bottom line: bodily and environmental changes affect EC, and vice versa, and you should adapt your back-up choice to whatever works best in these situations, as they arise...IF needed.

(And you can totally wait until baby is walking to change to a cloth backup or no backup at all - it's all good.)

When baby is about to start walking, things can either get better or worse. Again, remember that it's temporary. And it's all part of the learning.

And know this:

the backup for this brief pre-walking time is not as important as the backup you choose once walking has been mastered.

I generally recommend that you transition to Tiny Trainers and/or TinyUps as your baby's primary daytime back-up once she masters walking.

It is developmentally inappropriate to change a baby's diaper laying down at this stage of walking mastery, per the Montessori school of thought. I would have to agree (because: the diaper struggles at this age!).

Once baby is walking, change him standing up, and begin to engage him in the process of changing the bottoms when they are wet.

At this stage it is not important how many wet bottoms you go through per day. In fact, I would keep 18 pair of Tiny Trainers and/or 8 pair of TinyUps in your child's wardrobe at all times so you do not stress about running out.

What IS important is the learning that is accelerated through using a completely cloth, 100% cotton back-up. Let's take some advice from one of our Go Diaper Free Certified Coaches in Colorado who is an AMI Montessori educator. Elizabeth has experienced first-hand in her classrooms that:

using *only* cotton training pants starting at age 12 months (or earlier, if walking earlier) enables the child to learn much more quickly and deeply than using a disposable diaper or waterproof (PUL-lined) training pants.

I have observed the same.

Another option that I've tried upon walking mastery is split pants and/or baby chaps. They are great IF your child squats - on a potty or outdoors - when they need to go (not so great for when they stand!). Here's an older pic of some split pants I made that my first son wore abroad in Thailand:

In any case, if you aren't using split pants/chaps and if you don't want to move from diapers to trainers, consider moving from diapers to undies. Let me explain.

If you find that Tiny Trainers/TinyUps don't work for you (ie: your baby pees in the training pants all the time and does not signal or make an effort to go to the toilet, or you are just not on the right timing and missing every single pee and poo, AND it is stressing you out - again, it may not be an issue as they are learning - but you, the parent, are stressed out), then moving to Tiny Undies would be advisable. In this case it is likely that the training pants feel too similar to diapers, and making a move to something that does not feel like a diaper is a good choice.

Podcast #41: When to move from diapers to undies

In any case, I would definitely encourage switching your daytime back-up to training pants upon walking mastery, for sure, and earlier if you have a good handle on poop catches or at least poop timing.

Again, to protect pants, use TinyUps cloth pull-up covers over the Tiny Trainers. They will not hinder the learning process.

To protect the floor, often Tiny Trainers alone are enough, but all babies differ. I've noticed that babies pee straight thru Gerber training pants because they are subpar quality and have a polyester core that is terribly in-absorbent.

You can also double-up training pants for extra protection, but buy one set of trainers two sizes up in this case so baby is still comfortable. However, if you are using this thick of a training pant, you may want to consider working on your EC practice so you don't have such big misses.

To recap, some babies will move straight to Tiny Undies upon walking mastery and will do great. My second (our daughter) did exactly this at 13 months old. By 15 months she was telling us every single time she had to pee or poop. We did terrible at EC from months 4-8 with her, got back on track and switched to a cloth diaper backup at 8 months, ditched diapers and went to Tiny Undies at 13 months, and by 15 months were completely graduated. Again, undies feel like the opposite of diapers and will be very effective with some children.

When on outings, you can cover Tiny Undies or Tiny Trainers with TinyUps cloth covers to protect the pants/carseat while out and about. You can also use a biodegradable disposable backup and either do EC on outings or wait until you're home again.

Read my blog post The Ultimate Guide to Traveling with Elimination Communication

Listen to podcast #19: Shopping with a diaper-free baby

Learn about EC on the go in my EC book

Take a deep dive with my video minicourse EC While Out + About

If you're using just undies or commando at home, and you've got to make dinner or are otherwise unable to quickly respond to your baby, temporarily use a pair of Tiny Trainers or TinyUps so you don't teach baby to pee on the floor (and don't have to clean up). You're not using this thicker back-up as a toilet, but as a little more protection during a time when you're not as available.

No matter how you get there, moving to Tiny Undies by 15-18 months is advisable. If you don't have luck with it, 2-3 weeks in pants-only ("commando"), or without pants, around the house can be very effective as a transition into full-time undies.

Worst-case? Tiny Trainers by 15-18 months with NO more daytime diapers. :)

Seriously! Most parents regret using daytime diapers past 14 or 15 months of age...in retrospect they realize they missed some sort of invisible window, making EC wrap-up that much harder. If you're here before that age, take their advice. If you're here after 18 months, check out my potty training resource.

Podcast #41: When to move from diapers to undies

Naked also counts as a back-up, but only if it works. :) (Learn how to do diaper-free time responsibly with my popular EC book.)

If you do well without bottoms at all, at home, then do it for as long as you need to! If it works, and your child uses the potty voluntarily when bottom-less, do it. It will not permanently stay that way or harm the process.

When you feel it is time to start using pants, teach your child how to push them down and pull them up. Have an older child demonstrate, use the instructions in my books, or use the videos that my daughter made for your child, found in my potty training book private book owners' website.

IF your child pees wherever, whenever, I do not advise bottomless at home. In that case, review the Responsible Diaper-free Time section in my Go Diaper Free book, or, if you've really got a problem, do a potty training experience with my other book and get the idea across, very clearly and gently...physically...that all pee goes in the potty, every time.

But, if you have a child like my 3rd, Cooper, you may want to use Tiny Trainers much, much longer. We took him out of diapers at 17 months and then moved him into Tiny Undies. He is soooo lax and laid back. However. I *would have* ditched diapers with him sooner, I was just too overwhelmed with 3 kids, and being pregnant - you do what you can.

In undies, Cooper peed thru them all the time and it drove us nutso. So we switched to Tiny Trainers and put a cloth diaper cover over them (my TinyUps weren't out yet) and sent him to preschool like this, with instructions for the teacher on how to potty him - and 3 extra sets of trainers and pants and socks in a wet/dry bag, just in case. We used Tiny Trainers until about 25 months with him.

Had I ditched diapers around 12-13 months with Cooper, I know we would have had an advantage. With my 4th baby, Branson, we actually learned from our experience with Cooper and ditched diapers at 12 months old, and I have to say that it was definitely the right move. It gave us no other choice but to work on wrap-up! It was great.

But...case in point, you do what you can with what resources you've got at your disposal - with Cooper I was under-resourced. With Branson I was resourced. It's all good.

So the above are some examples of what you can do, too. I hope you found them helpful.

For nighttime EC, we again have the overall guideline:

use whichever back-up works best for this child (and this family) going through this milestone at that time.

During growth spurts and developmental leaps, babies really need their sleep. The unfortunate truth is that EC can disturb sleep during this time, as can wetness (not all the time, not all babies, but some of them).

So, your back-up for nighttime EC can and will change over time, as well as whether you potty your baby at night...depending on what your baby is going through.

Use what works, even if it doesn't feel like EC. No guilt. We all do what we can.

Here are some examples from my own babies of our nighttime backups from birth:

•With my first I used cloth at night 0-4 months, 5-8 months used disposables at night, 8-26 months used cloth (wool cover with hemp/cotton prefold) at night, then ended it all with one night naked in a footless fleece pajama.

•With my 2nd I used Seventh Generation disposable diapers at night during her babyhood up until she was dry at night at 26 months (same time as my first).

•With my 3rd we used Seventh Generation diapers until 22 months when we switched to commando because he was dry all night, but that backfired. He began having nighttime accidents again, so at 25 months we put him back in 7th Gen. And they were dry every night once more. (Ironic?) At 26 months we put him in a TinyUps cloth pullup cover with nothing under it, and around 32 months that went away completely and he has slept commando or in undies/pants ever since.

•With my 4th, we used a Seventh Gen disposable at night until he turned 2, at which time we were fortunate to discover biodegradable Dypers. He still wears those at night now at 27 months old, but they are dry 99% of the time. Without them he pees the bed. (Ironic?) This works for us, and we re-use a lot of diapers.

•With my 5th baby, we used Dyper biodegradable diapers as a back-up at night. She typically woke up dry and I would hear her in the other room over the monitor, go to her, potty her over the sink in their room (it's a farmhouse so the sink is in the bedroom!), running water if need be to relax her, then nurse her back to sleep. She usually would wake up wet in the final morning wakeup at 7am, but she'd also usually pee after I nurse her. For us the Dyper backup has been a really great tool, and we re-use a lot of them at night.

With our 4th baby, Branson, we did this: at 12 months he mastered walking, I changed him to a daytime back-up of a TinyUps cloth pull-up cover, below his pants, at home. On outings, like waiting in the car line for my 2nd grader with 3 kids in tow (hopefully napping), I used a disposable. At 27 months old he would usually be commando, pants-only, even at preschool. He could remove and replace his own pants this way and he was completely reliable in this back-up. He was out of diapers at night at 28 months.

With our 8th month old, our 5th baby Twyla, we typically use (and re-use) Dyper biodegradable diapers day and night, and at times we do diaper-free naked time, sometimes Tiny Trainers, and sometimes cloth diapers. Twyla was out of daytime diapers at 12 months when she started walking, and out of nighttime by 17 months. When we stopped using diapers she would wear undies both day and night.

My 6th baby Marilyn was in disposables as a backup day and night from birth, while we caught her pees and poos according to our life rhythms (like doing the 4 Easy Catches!) Then we moved her to undies at 14 months for daytime, with TinyUps on top for outings and daycare.

What are my daytime backup options, again? Cloth diaper, sumo-style cloth diaper, biodegradable disposable diaper (Dyper is my recommendation), Tiny Trainers or Tiny Undies (with or without a cloth pullup or snapped cover), commando, or pantsless for a little bit (as a strategy).

What are my nighttime backup options, again? The same as the above, except with a wool cover over a cotton/hemp prefold for heavy wetters.

When can I stop using daytime diapers? When you and your baby are reliable with poops ("poop-trained") - or you think ditching them will seal the deal with poop - and/or when YOU (the parent) are finished with using diapers. This could range from 5 months to 20 months. I suggest doing this by 14 months old in the daytime. See podcast #41.

When can I stop using nighttime diapers? When your baby is coming up dry, or when you are ready to night potty train which usually looks like waking baby for one dream pee around 10pm-12am at night, and baby is remaining dry til the morning. This could range from 14-36 months.

What to use after daytime diapers? Tiny Trainers or Tiny Undies, with or without a cloth pull-up cover like TinyUps, or go commando or pantsless as a transition to trainers or undies if need be. This typically goes: trainers when walking, undies a few months after or if trainers aren't effective, possibly with a commando stint in between if you need a transition phase.

What to use after nighttime diapers? Tiny Trainers or Tiny Undies (with or without a pullup or snap cloth cover), fleece footed pajamas (naked or undies or trainers inside), commando, or naked are your choices.

What to use during potty training? Tiny Undies - they feel the least like diapers and are easy to pull up and push off. Get the LEARN line if you want the type of Tiny Undies I've made that help your child self-dress in an average of 10 seconds...they have visual elements that help baby "do it myself."

When to start using Trainers? When you need an extra layer of protection (ie: you're busy, you're out and about, you're learning your baby or vice versa, baby is sleeping, baby is still having too many misses/accidents for your sanity, to protect floors/pants/etc, for use at daycare/preschool.). As early as during diaper-free observation time with a newly mobile or newborn baby, when poop-trained (or to help poop-train) with a mobile baby or toddler, when baby is pulling to standing/creeping, when baby walks well and is past that intense developmental milestone, ready to learn.

When to start using Undies? Same as with trainers, but when you don't need that extra layer of protection, or when you think it will intensify the learning process (cause and effect!) and benefit baby by feeling less like a diaper, and when you are done with potty training. (from trainers, above): As early as during diaper-free observation time with a newly mobile or newborn baby, when poop-trained (or to help poop-train) with a mobile baby or toddler, when baby is pulling to standing/creeping, when baby walks well and is past that intense developmental milestone, ready to learn.

When to start wrapping up EC? When baby is walking well, begin wrapping it up (obviously, it's going to be gradual). So, when baby begins walking, start to equip her with the skills to take over and be independent. This is covered deeply in my EC book and my Wrapping Up EC minicourse.

When to use a waterproof cover over trainers or undies? When your child is in another person's care and isn't completely telling everyone they need to go yet (like daycare, preschool, Grandma's house), when you are on an outing, when you are busy and you don't want to have to change pants, socks, shoes, and training pants (my trainers do hold a lot of pee, but the pants always get wet), when it's essential/ much more convenient to have a cover over the trainers or undies.

When not to use a waterproof cover over trainers or undies? When you want your child (and you) to get the best learning possible. From 12 months and over, using trainers during the day, at home, it is best for there not to be a cover...or you can use the cover without the trainers or undies. Whatever works.

When to have your baby help change wet or soiled bottoms? As soon as the child is able, usually around 10 months of age, have him or her put the wet ones into a bin and try to pull dry ones on. Use a low bench for self-dressing. Invest in LEARN trainers or LEARN undies to encourage self-dressing. Babies can help much sooner than you'd think! Full instructions in my EC book and my potty training book.

How do you pack for daycare after you switch to cloth or trainers or undies? Put at least 3 of your backup of choice, plus one extra snapping or pullup cloth cover, plus a gallon-sized ziploc bag, plus 2 pair extra socks and 3 pair extra pants, into one of my wet-dry bags (the front pocket) and ask your caregiver to put any wet ones in the larger back pocket of the bag if necessary, plus provide a toilet seat or mini potty if they need one. Learn more in this post about going to daycare/preschool diaper-free.

Go Diaper Free book (0-18 months)

Tiny Potty Training book (18 months and up)

Wrapping Up EC minicourse

Nighttime EC 101 minicourse

Potty Pause minicourse

Tiny Undies

Tiny Undies LEARN

Tiny Trainers

Tiny Trainers LEARN

TinyUps cloth pull-up covers

Tiny Wet/Dry Bag

Potette Plus portable toilet seat

Potette Plus reusable rubber insert

To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on 7/30/19

The post The Ultimate Guide to EC Back-ups: When to use which undergarments during elimination communication appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

Translations of this post: Italian

Hiya. Today we're going to talk about The Baby Care Cycle, or rather - what to do, in which order, with a new baby.

When your new baby gets fussy, you (like I used to do) may start grasping at straws trying to figure out what she wants.

You might first try the boob, then rocking and soothing, then the boob again, maybe try to get her to go to sleep, maybe then change a wet or poopy diaper, maybe offer the potty….taking care of a new baby can feel like one gigantic mess of “guesses.”

If your baby is fussy and you just aren't sure what you should try first, or in which order, this episode may help (at the least, I think it will help you figure out WHERE IN THE WORLD TO PUT POTTYING into the hour by hour baby-raising equation).

Let’s go on a little walkabout today where we’ll find a rhythm for your baby-rearing (so you can stop the guessing game already).

If you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: The baby care cycle

Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast where we're all about helping you stop depending on diapers as early as birth. I'm your host, Andrea Olson, mom of five EC’d babies and author. This is episode 52, The baby care cycle, or what to do in which order with a newborn and up. 

You guys, when I first had my first baby, the boob was my go to. I would use it for everything, because I had no idea what order to do which things and with my new baby. Now, I know better. And I had no idea how to get him to go to sleep, and now I know better. I had no idea really what to do when. Now, I know, because I've had five babies. 

Today's show, I'm going to share the baby care cycle that I use in my house with my babies. This is one way to find a rhythm with your baby, and to set a healthy care cycle from the beginning, something that you just learn once and you repeat, repeat, repeat and it expands as your baby grows, and it's a really nice way of remembering to cover all your bases with your baby, so that they're not just fussy out of nowhere, and you're like, “Oh my gosh, what's happening?” You actually know which things they need, and in what order is usually beneficial. I am not a doctor, I am not giving you medical advice. I want you to consult with your own professional medical practitioner, instead of using my advice. Clear all this with them if that's what you do. 

But, this is what works in my family, and I think it's very helpful. And with all the moms and dads that I shared this with, it's been really helpful in their homes. Now, I have adapted this cycle from Babywise. It is a book that unfortunately talks about cry it out. I want you all to know right now that I'm not an advocate of letting baby cry it out. That is the only thing or the biggest thing in that book that I do not agree with, but Babywise is great. And then, it shows you how to do this baby care cycle. The way they teach it uses diapers instead of the potty, so that's how I've modified it, and in the ways that it expands as baby grows. I've really studied this with my second baby and my third baby to really get a handle on how to get this just going a little bit more smoothly with them. Definitely check out their book if you want to learn more about this.

Here's how I've adapted it. I'm going to keep it short and simple today. Baby wakes up, we potty the baby, we nurse the baby, we play with the baby or have awake time with the baby, we potty the baby once more, we put the baby to sleep. Now, for a newborn, this whole cycle can really take about 30 minutes. The longest part of that being the breastfeeding part. We're going to go through, and break down each of these parts, but basically that cycle is the same kind of cycle that I sort of do in my life, but it's the whole day and I don't take a nap in between. I wake up, I go to the bathroom, I eat, I play or I work, I go to the bathroom, I play or I work, I go to the bathroom, I play or I work, I eat again, and then I play or I watch a movie or something, and then I go to the bathroom, and then I go to sleep. So you guys, see, it's not that much different from an adult cycle, but we are the caregivers in here. We're providing the care to the baby. 

Some people will also switch up the potty and the nurse thing. It depends on who you are and your baby, and all of your temperaments. We might change this to say wake, then nurse, then potty, then awake time or playtime, then potty, and then sleep. Sometimes that baby won't potty again before they go to sleep so this is all optional, but it's a general idea of a cycle, right? Let's go through it. 

The first thing is baby wakes up. Some people will wait until they know for sure, for sure that the baby's waking up. If my baby's been asleep as long as I think is normal, which I find all of those charts on the Baby Sleep Site to be invaluable on what is the normal amount of sleep per age. So when they wake up, I usually get my babies, especially when they're newborns, when they're first starting to shift. Because that's when the antidiuretic hormone wears off, ADH. And that's when the bladder fills. And that's when they need to go potty. I like to catch that wakeup pee as one of the four easy catches.

Waking up can mean a variety of things, and when you actually get your baby out of their sleep space will determine whether or not the next part of the cycle works or not, the potty. So wake, then potty, then nurse is the way that I like to do it. With some of my babies I've done wake, then nurse, then potty. Let's talk about these next two things. The potty thing is a pottytunity, it's an offering. It's not a guaranteed catch. It's not something that you should be like, "Okay, when they wake up, I'm definitely going to catch a pee." It's not guaranteed, but it's something that we want to offer consistently, especially for doing part-time EC. When they wake up, we set them on the potty or hold them over it, and that will vary by the age. Now, my book Go Diaper Free definitely gives you a lot of options based on the age for that, so when they wake up we offer the potty. 

Now, what that does is allows them to empty their bladder and go number two, if they need to, so that they can settle in comfortably for a longer breastfeeding session. Let's talk about that. When I say nursing and breastfeeding, you can also alternate bottle feeding or feeding a meal of solids and water with that. Whatever you're feeding is, we do wake, then potty, then feed. I am just using nursing, because that's my experience that I've been blessed to be able to breastfeed all of my babies, so that might not be your reality so just modify that obviously. After they have relieved themselves and cleared their bowels, then we can nurse, and usually get a full nurse. 

Now, if you have a brand new baby, you might experience that they need to go potty during nursing, or that they want to nurse first. So when they wake up and you nurse them, you would do this nursing over a waterproofed pad or in a backup, a diaper backup, where you would cue along with them as they go. Or you would have your top hat potty nearby, which you can grab one at my other shop at tinyundies.com. Top hat potty is a great newborn potty. 

When they pop off the breast during nursing or bottle feeding, that is a signal that they need to go to the bathroom. You can hold them over the receptacle or the pad and cue “mm, mm” for poop or “pssss” for pee or both, or whatever you blow on the top of their head. Everybody has different signals or different cues. Then, get them back on the breast or the bottle for more feeding, because that popping off the breast doesn't necessarily mean they're done nursing or feeding. It might just mean that they need to go to the bathroom. I know that I can't really eat and go to the bathroom at the same time. It's kind of hard, so why would we expect that of a baby?

We've got wake, then potty, then nurse. Or wake, then nurse, then potty. Or wake, and nurse, and there's all sorts of potty happening during the nursing. You know if that's you. All right, so after we're done taking care of those basic needs, the ins and the outs, the feeding and the pottying, then we have awake time, and that play time, what turns into play time as the baby gets older and is able to play. And if you don't know how to play with your baby, just go back to episode 51. That's my last episode before this one, and it'll give you all sorts of ideas. But this time of play or awake time is going to expand as your baby gets older. And that's the cool thing about what the big light bulb moment when I read Babywise for the first time was. "Oh, okay, so they wake up, they say change the diaper and then feed them, or feed them and then change the diaper." Okay, we got all that stuff done, and then what do we do next? 

Well, we have all this time before they go to sleep again. And at first, it's only 15 minutes, and then it's 30 minutes, and then it's 45 minutes. And before you know it, we've got two or three hours in between naps. And before you know it, we've got five hours and there's only an afternoon nap. They have great nap schedules in there as like, just so you can wrap your head around when it might happen at different ages, not so you have a strict routine if you're not into that. And then, the Baby Sleep Site also has a really great sort of model schedules of what it could look like at different ages based on how much sleep they actually need. Anyway, this part here, this play part and awake time is the part that expands and repeats over time. And then we potty, and then we go back to sleep.

With a newborn, you're going to wake, potty, nurse, have awake time, potty them again maybe before they go to sleep. When you’ve got a toddler, they're going to wake up, they're going to go to the bathroom, they're going to eat or feed or whatever. They're going to have a long time of playtime. During that play time, guess what's going to happen more often? Potty time. If you don't know your baby's natural timing you can definitely listen to...I think it's podcast episode 10 on that, and get my book, and you can learn how to figure out how often your baby goes, but this is when that comes into play.

After they've taken care of their basic stuff, after waking up, feeding, and going to the bathroom, then we're going to have this awake time. And during that time, based on your belief system, and again, this is your personal preference... Usually, babies don't need to nurse more during this time, because if they're newborns, this time is going to be only 15 minutes, and they're going to go to sleep, and then they're going to wake up, and they're going to feed again. And that's where you get that sort of "we're nursing every two hours" because we have a newborn thing. Babywise does a better job of explaining it. 

I'm just giving you my experience here, but what I've experienced is that the first fuss after that nursing and feeding session after they wake up... So they wake up, you potty them, you nurse them, then they're in play time, or they're awake in your arms, or they're just awake, their eyes are open, they fuss. That first fuss after feeding is 9 times out of 10, I would say 99 times out of 100, it's a signal that means they need to go to the bathroom. You would then potty them. And if they're a newborn, you would then be able to put them to sleep. And with a newborn, you probably would nurse them to sleep. 

Now, I want to address this. Sometimes, obviously newborns would need a nurse to sleep. If they're having a growth spurt, if you're doing cluster feedings, there are a whole bunch of other experts that cover nursing very well better than me. This isn't a hard and fast rule, but typically, after a few months old, and Babywise recommends this, and my experience echoes this...after a few months old, we don't really want to make daytime nursing to sleep for a nap a habit. There are alternatives to putting your baby to sleep without having to nurse them to sleep during the day, that are found in the Babywise book that I highly recommend, besides cry it out obviously. 

Nighttime sleep, if you're not nursing to sleep at every nap during the daytime, if you nurse to sleep at night, my experience has been, and that book also says, but I've definitely experienced this, that our babies sleep longer, longer and longer at night. And our babies who we've done this with have slept through the night at earlier ages, age appropriate ages, obviously not newborns here, because they didn't develop this habit of always needing the boob to go to sleep during the day. We vary it up, we'd have daddy do it, we'd have our babysitter do it, we'd have a pacifier, we would have a swing, we would rock the baby instead of nursing, and sometimes we would nurse to sleep during the day. Hopefully, that makes sense. 

Before I put my babies to sleep, I do always offer a pottytunity, even the three year old, the five year old, that everybody goes to the potty and tries, at least tries, before they go to sleep. Because that's going to allow a better, deeper, more comfortable sleep, so that's why that's inserted right before going back to sleep. If you need advice on sleep, please look up the Baby Sleep Site, or Babywise without the cried out part. Okay, during this time, so we've got the wake up, we've got the potty and nurse, or the nurse and the potty, then we've got this awake time where we're playing and we're pottying or we're being awake. We want to potty after the first fuss or during the first fuss after feeding. 

Then, we want to use the four roads to potty time and the four easy catches. These are all mentioned in my podcast at different places, the four roads to potty time, episodes 8, 10, 12, and 14. It's basically signals and timing and all this fun stuff. It’s ways to know that your baby needs to go to the bathroom. Definitely study those up. Those are on my book. It's is really, really clearly laid out there. When do I potty my baby during awake time? My answer would be look in my book, or look at those podcasts. 

Then we've got the four easy catches. You know, if you're just doing part-time EC, great, most people do. During this awake time period, you're going to be doing the poops, or getting whatever, the poop catches, and the diaper change catches, stuff like that. Before you put them in the car seat, when you take them out, stuff like that. So those are in episodes 28, 29, 30, and 32. I've linked to all of these in the show notes at godiaperfree.com/52.

My point is, during this awake time, you're going to offer pottytunities based on whichever way you're doing EC. And then, when it's time to go to bed, we do a final peepee, and then. we go to sleep. And then, with sleep, again, sometimes we nurse  to sleep. Sometimes at certain months of age, you don't want to make it a habit to nurse to sleep. I still nurse to sleep at night. And in the middle of the night, I potty my baby, and then I nurse her back to sleep. Your mileage may vary. My point, you guys, is that you have full permission to create a rhythm around sleep, and feeding, and pottying, and that it doesn't need to be exhausting or complicated. It can be as simple as understanding your baby sleep requirements and feeding requirements at this age, understanding EC through my book or my other resources. All of this is learning.

I love this cycle for its simplicity. They wake up, we take care of their basic needs of pottying and nursing in whichever order, and then we have awake time, we potty them when they get fussy to keep them comfortable and to help them feel heard during that time. That time and space expands as they get older, so that they nap less often as they get older, and then we potty them, and we put them to sleep for that nap, or ultimately before bedtime when they're no longer napping at several years old. Okay, so hopefully this makes sense. I'm going to try to make a little drawing of this baby care cycle, and put it over there on the show notes so you can see what I'm talking about visually, because I know it's hard to wrap your head around it sometimes. 

Let's hear a couple of tips from our readers and that's it for today's show. Laurel, in New Hampshire, has a two-week-old and has been exploring EC with her. She says, her tip is, "I'd say the most helpful thing is to remember to follow my instincts and not get caught up in looking for any possible cue or doing more than feels good. Getting a routine around diaper changing and pottying has been the most successful. I will either observe that I think she needs to go and then take the diaper off, find it's dry and offer the potty, or even if I find it wet I will still usually offer. I love having this knowledge in my consciousness for learning to decipher my baby’s communication." That is wonderful Laurel, and you are talking about one of our easy catches, which is at every diaper change, which can be integrated into this baby care cycle very, very easily. When they wake up and we change the diaper, we offer them the potty.

Sabine from Sweden, her tip is “To start out small! Make smaller goals. It's not supposed to be all potty and super stressful. Chances are that you will quit and baby will refuse going potty [if you make it all potty]. Begin with the easy catches (waking up and diaper changes) and what fits into your schedule. It is really all about not changing poopy diapers, and then just start with catching the poos." So if you want… What she's saying in the last part there is, if you just don't want to change the poopy diapers then just start with catching the poops. Just keep it simple, you guys. EC is not that complicated. It's just something we've got to try out and learn, and then integrate it into some kind of rhythm and routine in our day that we consciously choose to implement or not. You can just also go through your day and just ride the rhythms, and some people just do that and go with whatever comes. 

If you're like me and it's a little overwhelming to make sure the baby, the brand new first time mom baby, has everything it needs, then you know, adhering to a cycle that creates a rhythm that's predictable could be really good for you. Take or leave whatever you found from this to be helpful, and I want you write a comment in today's show notes at godiaperfree.com/52. At the bottom of that blog post will be a place for you to add your comment. What did you learn today? What part of this are you going to implement? And, do you have any ideas or thoughts that I didn't mention that might help somebody else? Because we are a community here, and we help each other out. 

All right, so that's it for today. I'm Andrea Olson with the Go Diaper Free Podcast at godiaperfree.com and I'll see you next week.

If you want to watch me record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on 7/23/19

The post The baby care cycle: One rhythm that could work for you appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

Congratulations! Your baby is here! (Now what?)

Today we're going to talk about how to PLAY with your baby. 

The meal trains have ended. The relatives have left. Other than nursing, pottying, and napping what exactly are you supposed to do with your sweet little bundle all day? 

If you are having these thoughts, or even feeling guilty for feeling a bit bored, you aren't alone! Today we're going to talk about ways to interact with and play with your baby.

If you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: How to play with a baby

Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast where we're all about helping you potty your baby as early as birth. I'm your host, Andrea Olson, author and mom of five EC babies. This is episode 51, How to play with a newborn baby, or what do I do with this sweet little thing all day anyway?

So I have had five babies and I will tell you what, there is nothing like having a new baby and it's exciting and wonderful and they're beautiful and then if you have more kids, it's just beautiful to see them all together. And then like a few weeks or months after you have this new baby and everybody stops visiting and stops bringing you food and stops coming to clean your toilet, then boredom sets in. And you're like, "What do I do with this sweet little baby anyway?" So our lives basically become whittled down to nursing the baby, pottying the baby if you do EC, and napping the baby and nothing really else going on, especially for a brand new first-time mom. I've been there, done that. 

Now, we really don't want postpartum depression to sneak in. We know the baby blues usually show up a few days after baby's born in some people. I think the statistic right now is that 20% of women get PPD, and I actually had it undiagnosed for like four years with my first two. So one of the things that can cause postpartum depression is definitely just this change in your life from being your own independent person to being depended on 24/7. So when we're bored and when we're with our baby and we feel really guilty and we don't know what to do to play with them because we've never done this before. Like I've babysat before, but when I had my first baby 24/7, I did not know what to do with him to play with him. I think that we should all get equipped.

So that's what today's episode is about, and I'm going to integrate in here how to do EC while learning how to play with your baby, especially if you're a first-time mom. And if you're not a first time mom, no big deal. Or if you're a dad. We can use all of the tips in today's show to just give you some new ideas maybe. If you've just...you're kind of like out of ideas, no big deal. I've got some for you. And I've got them from a bunch of different references. 

So I actually signed up to take a class. I'm a little bit embarrassed to say this. I signed up to take a class on tummy time in Berkeley back in 2010 when I had my first baby. And I signed up because I literally sat around just staring at him and I had no idea what to do. And I was good at EC with him and I was good at nursing and we always napped together because he wouldn't sleep alone. But I had no idea what to do. I couldn't remember any of the songs from my childhood. So I took a class, and in this class, I met Kim and Kim taught me so much about what to do with the baby that I still do with all five of mine. So I'm going to mention her a lot in this podcast. 

You can get the show notes for this episode at godiaperfree.com/51 and you'll also see a link to Kim's book because she did publish a book since then or it's an ebook and it is available on Amazon.

Okay. So the biggest overarching thing with how to play with a newborn baby and how do we integrate EC with this also is to go back to the basics, to using common household stuff and to enjoying your baby. Because everybody who has already had a baby before you will tell you, "Oh, it passes so fast." And it might sound cliche, but it's true. It passes way too fast. And before you know it, you will have a teenager. So let's enjoy this baby time, but not bore ourselves out of our skulls in the meanwhile.

So I have whittled it down to about, let's see how many things I have here, nine things. So we'll go through these nine things, and there's a full transcript over on the show notes as well. If you get interrupted and you need to read the rest of this, no worries. So let's talk about play. 

Number one, baby wearing. This isn't specifically playing with your baby, but it is providing them with something that they really, really need. If you have not read The Continuum Concept by Jean Liedloff, please read it. It is amazing and wonderful. She never intended for it to be a parenting manual, but it's sort of turned into one inadvertently. It basically says in that book that if you sit around and stare at your baby all day, your baby's going to get really frustrated with you about that. And it's just going to sort of bother them. They want to see what grownups do. They want to learn from seeing you do grownup things, and one of the best ways that you can engage your baby with the grownup world and what is it like to be a human because they're in training right now is to wear them in a baby carrier.

My favorite baby carrier is...well, I have a couple. The Ergo Baby and the Beco Gemini are really great for different reasons. The Beco Gemini can be used with a newborn and can be changed all different ways. I love it. And then the Ergo is really great because I love the hood. I love nursing in public in it and I can feel private with that hood. But anyway, baby wear with whatever you want. You can use a Moby wrap, you can use just a wrap like just this very long piece of cloth, a woven wrap—those are very popular. But I'm a little bit more of a let-me-click-it-on-and-go kind of a gal. 

So baby wearing. While you’re baby wearing, your back could start hurting. Now I baby wore my first baby for two years. He really wouldn't nap unless I slept with him. And then we did a lot of naps walking around the house. And around the neighborhood. I probably could have done better for my back with a stroller at some points, but I was really like, I'm attachment parenting. I'm not doing any of that stroller business.

So anyway, if you are baby wearing a lot, great. It's very good. It helps your baby to settle. It's awesome. I want you to engage your core though and I want you to get pelvic floor therapy if you have no idea where your core is or how to engage it properly. It's not engaging your abs. It's different. Pelvic floor therapy is something I didn't do until after my fifth baby. And it is amazing. I think it should be required for every single, new mom. Go to a physical therapist and get some pelvic floor stuff checked out. Have them teach you how to engage your core, and while you're babywearing, be sure you engage your core so you don't throw your back out.

Okay, so what does this have to do with EC, Andrea? This is an EC podcast. Okay. This helps you detect EC signals. When you are babywearing, you are helping your baby to feel connected with the world. It's a form of play for them. They are very, very highly engaged and interested or they also fall asleep in there. But also when they start to feel like they need to go to the bathroom, they're going to let you know by trying to arch out of the baby carrier, by fussing if they're very small, by crying out, or you'll get a phantom pee where you feel like you've been wet but you couldn't have been because they're wearing a diaper backup, or if they're naked, you actually feel down there and you're not wet. That's called a phantom pee. And that can mean that the bladder is just filled and the baby is ready to go.

So you would take your baby out of the baby carrier and potty them. Or offer a pottytunity, change them if they're wet. Okay, so I have a resource on babywearing, again, is The Continuum Concept. Just talks about how babies were worn in slings. Slings, these days, are pretty controversial. I would recommend a baby carrier as they're a little bit safer and very comfortable. All right, so that's number one out of nine. How to play with a newborn baby. Just wear them and do what you do and get your stuff done and let them look at nature, from the vantage point of you.

Number two would be, talking about nature actually, getting out of the house. So another way to offer play to newborn baby is to change it up and they get pretty bored just like we do, just sitting around being at home all the time. And I don't mean to overschedule yourself with play dates and going out all the time, but when you start to feel down and you're bored out of your mind and you can't think of another baby game to do or another sensory bin to get out, which we'll talk about. When you feel like this, just get out of the house. Specifically into nature or around other people, which is another type of nature. People are part of nature.

You can go to the mall and just walk around and baby wear, or put your baby in a stroller, or have them in their car seat in a stroller. Whatever you want to do. But I would recommend that you integrate EC into your outings because it's often a lot easier and rewarding to do EC when out and about. Bring your top hat potty, which you can get at my other shop at tinyundies.com, and keep your baby comfortable by offering when you arrive somewhere and anytime they get really fussy during. It's a matter of keeping them comfortable by listening to their signals, which usually they'll signal more when they're out of the house too.

But this is one way to provide play to a new baby, not necessarily a newborn but all ages babies to vary it a little bit, get them out into nature and around other people. Very helpful.

The third way to play with a baby is actually more specifically oriented around things you can do with your baby. So now we're going to get into the nitty gritty of what Kim taught me a long time ago and her book is called Homemade Play. Number three is tummy time. So she just recommends doing a few minutes a day. If your baby hates being lied on their tummy, then fine, just one minute maybe, during, after you offer the potty and then you're changing their diaper and then you can flip them over and put their socks on or whatever. Something she recommends. So tummy time, we want to potty first because when they're on their tummy, they're usually going to need to go, especially if they're newborns. And when they fuss, like they're over it and they maybe have just eaten 10 minutes or five minutes before and they're newborns, we want to potty them, offer them the potty at that time.

Before we put them into tummy time and after we take them out of tummy time is a good time to potty. I just said time a million times. I just said it again. Okay. So some variations on tummy time. You can have your baby...you can get a shatter resistant mirror and hold that in front of the baby and you can have him or her look at it. You can do tummy time face to face, where your baby is laying down on their tummy and you're facing them and kind of encouraging that head movement up to strengthen the neck. You can turn off—and these are all from her book—you can turn off the lights and use a flashlight and point different things out. Just obviously don't shine it in your baby's face. 

During tummy time, you can put fabrics—different types of fabrics—underneath your baby and have them...or they would just want to grab them and touch them so it's a little sensorial time. You can roll up a towel and put it underneath their chest and arms to sort of prop them up a little bit if they've got a lot of reflux and gas. By the way, if they have a lot of reflux and gas, you definitely want to rule out tongue tie and lip ties because sometimes that causes all of that. So that's just a little side note for you. 

All right. We can also do, tummy time on a ball, like a small, small exercise ball and we put the baby on its tummy on the ball. We can do tummy time belly to belly. So you just lay your baby on your belly and you look at their face while they're on your belly. We can do tummy time on our legs. You just sit on your bottom, put your legs out, cross them a little bit, and then that gives your baby a little bit of a vantage point if they don't like being on the floor.

And you could also do this thing called flying, which I've actually always done with my kids because I saw a friend do it years before I ever had babies, where you put the baby on its belly on top of your legs. There's a picture of it in her book. It's kind of hard to explain, but basically they're laying on your legs and I always like to engage my core and do a few leg lifts with the baby as my weight. Obviously, be careful with that. But all that stuff is listed in Kim's book as variations on tummy time. Tummy time is really good, especially if you're having your baby sleep on its back like as recommended because this helps to prevent baby from being on their back all the time, which could cause a flat skull, I can't remember what it's called. There's a technical term for it.

Okay. Let's move on to play. I like to encourage independent play. I don't know about you, but when my babies get older, they're all super independent. I think a lot of it has to do with EC and I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that they are given these chances to play in this Montessori-inspired way. So I have a baby gym, which is this arched thing. I'll link to one in the show notes at godiaperfree.com/51 and basically you hang things off of it and you lay the baby below it on their back and they can bat at them. It helps with hand-eye coordination, helps them with independent play. You can hang a bell or a wooden ring from it. 

There's a lot of different supplies on Etsy. So the bell and the ring are really great. You can get them on Etsy and then we can also hang the bell or the ring off the ceiling or off of the gym. We want to have age appropriate mobiles with Montessori. Often we have a mat on the ground or a floor bed with a mirror alongside it and above is hanging a mobile that they don't touch, but they're looking at, and this could be like the gobbi or the dancers or the black and white ones. It depends on the age. And wooden and fabric toys, while they're on tummy time, they can grab and play and put them in their mouths and a pull up bar. So often people will install a bar along the side of the mat or the bed and in front of that mirror so that they can eventually start to pull up and practice that.

So these are all inspired by the resource, it's a book called Montessori from the Start, that I love, that has informed what I've given my kids to do and just preparing the environment, simplifying and decluttering it and having several Montessori inspired items that will encourage independent play. All right.

The fifth way to play. This is the biggest one. This is the one I really want you to grab Kim's book for, Homemade Play, if you are interested in any of these things. But basically play with stuff that is commonly found in your household already. You don't need to buy toys for your baby. We are going to be stimulating the senses, which is what your baby's engaged in learning right now anyway, with songs, sounds, instruments, being out in nature and listening to those sounds, dancing with your baby, exercising with your baby. Obviously, all this stuff with a lot of care. She covers that in her book too. How to be safe with all this. 

We can bounce the baby in our lap, swing them in our arms, obviously carefully. But I've got some friends who are gymnasts and circus artists and it's pretty funny what they do with their babies, but they're very safe. They're very safe. We can introduce different textures. We love doing this with our babies, is lay them on their backs and parachute, kind of like wave a big sheet over top of their heads and lay it down and they can obviously breathe through it and we're bringing the sheet up into the air and then it billows down towards their face. They love the parachute game. It's also covered in her book.

You can read books to your baby at a very early age. It's always great for them to learn language. We can put in an old Kleenex box, we can stuff it with scarves and when they're sitting they can start to pull all those out and put them back in. You can buy expensive Montessori toys or you can use stuff from your households is the point. We can scatter about various things that they're not going to choke on obviously. We want to supervise our children when we do this. But when they start to sit, we can put these things and organize them by texture in treasure baskets and that's covered in Kim's book as well. 

So we want to potty our baby at any fussy point during this play because if they're fussing, it usually means that they need to go when they're this young or if they're not mobile yet and they're not crawling or sitting much, or even if they are sitting, if they're not really moving about the room, then you can have them play naked-bottomed on a waterproof mat so that they can get some diaper free time during play.

If there is a poop signal, they start bearing down, please pause play to go to the bathroom and then resume. This is contrary to some things you'll hear about from parenting experts that say that you should never interrupt a baby's play. Well I, for one, if I need to go to the bathroom and I'm working, I pause and I go to the bathroom and then I come back. So I think it's a healthy thing to teach and model. So I definitely think you should EC during playtime. It will also prepare them for when they're a toddler and they have to leave play to go to the bathroom. It will become a normal part of the thing.

All right, the sixth topic today is massage, and this is, I'm not an expert on, but with songs and touch. Kim teaches it in a lovely way in her book, Handmade Play. You can do massage, you can do it naked on a waterproof mat and cue along. If they start to go during this play time, if they give you a poop signal, just pause, potty them and bring them back. You can play with using lotion on their body and when they get older they can play with that as well. And there's more details in her book. And as you're doing massage, you can talk about the body parts. So everybody's learning.

The seventh thing is when you need a break and no one's around and your back hurts, how do you play with your baby then? You're burned out. You need a break. I am a big fan, and Kim's book does not say to do this, but I think you should because I have five babies and this is what I do. Get a swing or a bouncer or a walker or a baby hammock, whatever one or two tools that you think would be helpful.

And this can be a surrogate auntie or uncle who can hold your baby while you get a break or get a meal or get a shower. Now obviously use the instructions for each of these things and use them at age appropriate times. But you obviously, I don't need to give you permission, but in case you're wanting it, you have full permission to have a break and have your baby in one of these things and where they can actually observe you doing something else like feeding yourself, taking care of yourself. Also good things to model. And then when you need a break also, you need to downgrade your EC to part time, you guys, part time.

You just bring it back to just the wakeups and just the poops for a few days. Use a backup for when you're feeling a little bit lazy because being a new mom is hard, you guys. And also learn how to provide your baby with naps that don't include being attached to your breast. Visit the Baby Sleep Site. I have a link to it on the show notes at godiaperfree.com/51 and check them out because I've gotten sleep plans from them before. I can highly recommend them. They will help you learn how to provide your baby with naps where they're not attached to your breast.

On the next episode of this podcast, I'm actually going to share the baby care cycle that I use and that might give you some more insight on how to integrate naps. And that gives you a break. If you're not getting breaks because your baby's not napping separately from you, you're going to have a really hard time, so just a little sisterly advice. 

Number eight, ditch the smartphone during the times when you're with your baby. We can often feel a little bit on the depressed side, a little bit low, when we have a new baby and we've come out of that high. And smartphones are great quick fix. They're actually...they've been studied a lot and it's an addiction. It's proven to increase your anxiety if you have a smartphone and we're already anxious enough postpartum because that's how nature created us so that we'd be on point with our babies. There is a book called, How to Break Up with Your Smartphone. I highly recommend it. Link to it in the show notes. Please check it out if you're interested, but the point is just to be present with your baby. They deserve that. You deserve that. 

Learn how to play so that you don't need to distract yourself with your phone. Learn how to play with your baby if you need to learn how. Get Kim's book if you need to. Be present because this time is going to fly by. And we've already talked about this, but go back to the basics. Simplify. And when you're in doubt, let Mother Nature nurture you both. Get outdoors, get into...just sit on your porch if that's all you can do. And that will help when you're at your wit's end and you don't know what to do with your baby.

And lastly, number nine, this has to do with play because it normalizes behavior. Potty train early. If EC's not working out or if you want to wrap up EC because you're tired of doing it, we can finish and complete potty training within the realm of 14-20 months, for sure, because in the '50s that's what everybody did. Early potty independence normalizes behavior and it frees up your child to learn other things and it actually makes playtime a lot smoother. So if you're in that stage of things or you're looking forward and you want to know what's to come, just take my advice on that. It's definitely going to help. 

Now we have a tip from two of our readers real quick and then we'll end up this episode. Sorry, it's so long. I went way over my usual 12 minutes, but hey, I think you guys need some resources. So here they are.

Stephanie from Eugene, Oregon, says...her tip is "Learn your baby's poop face" and she laughs, but she's not kidding because she began EC at three months, baby's aged four and a half months when she shared this. And she just says, you know, if you know your baby's poop face, then you can pause and catch those and then it gets better and better from there. And she's catching a bunch now.

All right, Swantje from Canada says, “My tip: Relax! But don't get lazy. Relax, because this isn't a competition. All kids are different and you have needs too. A miss isn't the end of the world and it doesn't mean you're a failure or your child doesn't ‘get it,’ but don't use these things as excuses to stop paying attention or responding to your child's signals because that would be lazy. I don't know if this is helpful to newbies, but perhaps it is." And she started with her first child in 2012 at six weeks old with the helping hand of my previous book, EC Simplified, which is now Go Diaper Free.

With her second born, she had her seven weeks premature in 2014, she started at six weeks adjusted age. With her third in 2016, she started a few weeks in. Frankly, she doesn't remember when it was exactly and she's currently pregnant with her fourth and hopes to start EC from birth, but that will depend on the circumstances. So she's just really saying that just relax but don't get lazy. Start when you feel like starting and EC actually can be quite rewarding at whatever age you start. But she's definitely veering on the earlier side. Once you've done EC with one baby, you definitely want to start earlier the next time because it's so apparent that babies are totally born ready. 

All right, so hopefully this episode has given you a lot of ideas on how to play with your baby, what to do with that sweet little thing all day, every day when you become bored out of your mind, which is totally normal. And I want to know from you what ideas have you gotten from today's episode? Please share them over at godiaperfree.com/51. Let us know if you've got any new ideas or if you've got some way of playing with your baby that I didn't cover today that you want to share. I would love to converse with you in the comments over there. 

Meanwhile, we'll see you next week with the baby care cycle. Thank you so much for tuning in. I'm Andrea with Go Diaper Free Podcast at godiaperfree.com. I'll see you next time.

If you want to watch me record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on 7/16/19

The post How to play with a baby: Or, what in the world to DO with that sweet little cherub appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

If you want to watch me record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Today I'd like to share the birth story of my fifth baby with you.

No midwife. No OB. No doula. Just me, my husband, and our baby.

Let's take this in 3 parts...like a 3 Act Play.

Rewind to about two days before my due date. November 13, 2018.

My midwife and I had an appointment scheduled for 1:15pm. I didn't want to make this appointment, mind you, but she insisted.

You may be wondering...Why did you hire a midwife if you wanted an unassisted birth?

Well, good question.

You see, I've attempted an unassisted birth four times over 5 births. Each experience has been unique and has taught me a lot, and all of them have led up to my decision about this birth.

After all that I've experienced over the last 8 years of having babies, I decided that this time around I'd prefer to have someone else in the house in case I had a question - to which an answer could save me from illogically choosing to go to the hospital (I've done that twice).

I also wanted someone else to do my prenatal care.

(You may remember that my husband and I separated for a couple months earlier this year. It's been rough. So, wanting a little more support felt like a good decision back in the Summer when I most needed it.)

So, I was referred to "Jane" (we'll call her) because she is unlicensed and thus would absolutely, I was assured, provide an undisturbed birthing experience.

(Undisturbed would mean that she would not intervene unless asked. Because...even midwives can intervene and cause things to go awry, even with the best intentions.)

Things were not going exactly as planned.

Let me briefly summarize the pathway to our ultimate falling-out:

So, that's all about the midwife and the terribly uncomfortable circumstances that caused us to part ways.

It's all good.

At 12:32pm that day, after getting her first passive-aggressive texts about cancelling our appointment, I texted Whapio who immediately agreed to be "on call" for my birth for any questions I might have.

Whapio. On speed dial.

This was all turning around nicely.

On the day the midwife quit, I sent our au pair (who'd only been with us a month so far) to Charlotte two hours away to stay with my mother, so that we could have privacy in our home and I could make a nest for baby to arrive.

As I processed this freaking terrible situation with the midwife...I began to realize that what Twyla wanted was a truly 100% unassisted birth.

I began to read my entire book manuscript, beginning to end, and prepare myself mentally, physically, and emotionally for a true UC.

(Talk about being forced by the Universe to do what you were intended to do, all along!)

This new book? Brave New Birth. I had started writing it when I was pregnant with Isadora 5 years ago - because nowhere could I find a concise guide to the ins and outs of unassisted birth.

Through reading my own book manuscript over the next few days, I prepared to assist myself in having this baby.

Because the Universe had left me no other choice.

For the next few days I continued to go to prenatal yoga.

My back had been going out for several weeks (so bad that I could hardly walk when I stood up from sitting or laying down) and I knew that baby wouldn't come until it had been repaired.

Every day I came to yoga, and every day I felt embarrassed to be there.

My last 3 babies had come 2 weeks early. Why was Twyla taking so long?

I tried to schedule another Trigger Point Massage appointment in town. This had also been helping my back in a big way...and now I was ready for induction points to be pressed!

I couldn't schedule on our normal Thursday for some reason. So, I scheduled with her two days later, a Saturday...and early that morning she texted that she was sick and couldn't see me.

That morning, feeling disappointed about no induction points, and with no signs of imminent labor, I sent my 3 kiddos to Grandma's house in Charlotte, to stay there until the baby came..

Thanksgiving was in 5 days. Would Twyla come in time for me to get my kiddos back?

We were down to one kid...my 8 year old. Monday came around and we took him to school to go to his father's house for the week.

That night, David (my hubs) asked me what I wanted for breakfast the next morning, because we finally had no kids to take care of, and we could sleep in!

Hah.

I told him that Twyla is going to come at 4am precisely for that reason.

At 4am Tuesday, the very next morning, I began to have low belly menstrual-like cramps. I was laying down in bed, so I began the lap timer in my phone.

70 seconds long, 5 minutes in between.

Then upwards of 90 seconds long, 2 minutes in between.

Within 30 minutes labor had begun full-on, no doubt in my mind.

When I got up, the contractions continued (a sure-fire sign that labor has begun is when you change positions and the rhythm of the contractions does not change). The rhythms continued to increase in intensity and decrease as far as time-between-contractions goes.

With every contraction, I did as my birth book advised - I focused on relaxing my yoni and my mouth, breathing deeply, and diffusing my focus away from the contraction itself. I didn't hyperfocus on the contraction, but focused on other things, and definitely made sure to relax.

I knew what was happening with each sensation...every tightening meant that my cervix was dilating, and I was in full support of that happening quickly.

I brought Twyla's new baby blanket to the laundry room and began a load so it would be cleaned and ready by the time she arrived. I doubled over in front of the washing machine mid-contraction, caught my breath, and continued preparing.

I walked around the house rapidly...quickly...calmly...and found sitting on my yoga bolster to feel really good.

But very soon, no sitting would suffice. To the toilet. Sitting during a contraction felt good only there.

He complied while I had a major contraction on the rug on our bathroom floor.

The thought ran through my head:

And I almost started to laugh.

Now, I had overcome several blocks over the past week after my midwife quit. While reading up on unassisted birth for my book draft, I realized that seeking comfort would not impede the progress of the labor. It would simply help me feel more comfort!

So, I popped into that warm bath not expecting it to slow my progress, but instead expecting to feel comfort and release while my body continued to do its work of pushing my baby out.

It felt great to have the water rushing over my shoulders as each contraction came more and more strongly.

For a moment, I fantasized about going to the hospital and how that was such an easy way out, always an option...but then quickly remembered what that would look like.

Let me walk you through my 4 other births quickly:

My first birth was an over-managed midwife-driven homebirth. Long, painful, not wholly fulfilling.

My second birth? Well, I went to the hospital because I didn't know I was fully dilated, had no urge to push, and upon arrival I had her within 30 minutes after 30 minutes of annoying nurse-coaching-yells to get her out as if it were an emergency (they even pulled her head). I then had to demand we be released within 12 hours - like a jail, it was.

My third was an unassisted birth with a friend in the hallway to whom I could shout a question or two. Freaking amazing Wonder Woman birth.

My fourth was same situation as my second...but it was the bag of waters impeding full dilation. Again, with some patience and knowledge, I could have had him at home too. 30 minutes after arriving at the hospital, with a ton of worried-push-chants, and them pulling on his head, he was born. Like jail, very hard to get them to release us, but we left at 12 hours.

So, yeah...the fleeting thought of a hospital run?

That didn't last long.

The ridiculous thought of going to the hospital left my brain just about as quickly as it had entered.

Besides, I'd told hubs that IF I SAID I wanted to go to the hospital during labor, to INSTEAD encourage me and tell me that I'm doing it, I'm doing fine, and to just plain ignore my request.

(We went over the 4 red flags of birth last week...he knew the drill...and the diff between what is a true emergency and what is just me acting on behalf of hormones.)

So I didn't say a word about the hospital thought.

I realized the contractions were getting incredibly uncomfortable and occurring much more often and much more intensely.

My thoughts? Very clearly I heard:

As I labored in the tub, warm water flowing over me, my husband got a cold rag and put it on my back. During every contraction I braced myself in the tub and relaxed my yoni and mouth, the rest of me fully stabilized and pushing with all my might.

It wasn't painful...but it was intense and other-worldly.

Then I was fast asleep with my head on the edge of the tub...being given the gift of my second wind...and I knew that I was fully dilated.

I reached inside and felt the bag of waters. I confirmed my thought - it felt as thought I was fully dilated (yesterday I felt the bag, dilated a few centimeters only, and my cervix. Today...no cervix to be felt at all).

I questioned myself for a moment...maybe I'm not dilated yet?

Then I said with confidence from some unknown source, "No. I am absolutely fully dilated."

David went to YouTube to learn how to pop a bag of waters, just in case. With our last birth, you'll remember, this was our issue.

He came back in because I was yelling. Contractions were back on. I kept my voice low but I was really in it.

My fingers inside, I felt her head inside the bag! I was awwing, and cooing, and ahhing, saying "Hi baby, I can't wait to see you!" - and then a big contraction came and I pushed REALLY hard, causing the bag of waters to break into the tub of water.

I wasn't afraid. I was lucid. Present. Excited. Focused. Intent.

I was talking to her, hubs said afterward, but I can't remember that part.

I was in a complete daze, yet focused somehow.

Hubs was holding me up when needed, I was bracing, relaxing, focused, yet completely in outer space at the same time.

One contraction...with the urge to push. If I didn't push, it hurt really bad. So I pushed...feeling her head moving down as I did so.

Two or three more of these, seemingly a few minutes apart each (I can't be sure, but I was floating in oblivion at those moments), and Twyla's head was right at the opening to her new world.

"Oh baby, oh baby, come on, come on sweetheart...." is what hubs heard me say.

I felt the biggest contraction of the whole morning and with it the urge to push - and also the intuition to not do it too quickly - and- and I bore down as I instinctively got up onto one knee inside the bathtub..

My hands on her head, stabilized by my position, I pushed with all my might, with restraint when called, with full abandon when called, and this push must have lasted about 5 minutes, I swear.

From all I've been told, the crowning didn't mean birth was imminent, so I threw that out the window as garbage advice. My body pushed her head out inside that one gigantic contraction.

The bulge in my bottom was really intense, but I couldn't call this head-birthing "painful." It was intense and a mixed bag of restraint and going for it, but not painful.

I then had Twyla's cute little head in my hands.

I began to panic a little. (This must be that last rush of adrenaline?)

Hubs calmed me by saying "You are doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing. You are fine."

I reached my finger in next to her neck for whatever reason (to check her shoulder? No idea.) and then felt the urge to push. I was afraid though (which I knew would create tension, which creates pain) - afraid that this would really hurt - but when I let off and didn't push with the contraction, it HURT!

The next moments are a bit blurred but David remembers that last push as an Opera-like yell, of reaching the top of the mountain and letting out a victory cry almost, and saw me pull her out of the water and lean back into the tub with Twyla on my belly.

I remember pausing, her body in the water, collecting myself, and then somehow laying back in the tub as if I were taking a leisurely soak after a long day of work.

Our baby.

He was all smiles (usually is).

We adored her and watched her turn from amphibian into land-lubber and get her breath together.

He grabbed his phone and snapped a few photos and some video and we chatted as we encouraged our baby girl into her first gurgly breaths of life.

I asked David to grab the bulb syringe out of the laundry room because the midwife had left this sense of doubt in my head that babies can't clear passages on their own (I claim that the pause, and the instinctive positions, after birth take care of this by Nature's design)...and when he brought it back I couldn't bring myself to do it properly.

Twyla found her breath within a minute or two, on her own, and began to pink up. Hubs brought a blanket and then asked me what he could do for us now.

I chuckled to myself.

He got our bed ready with Chucks pads underneath towels and the heater and humidifier both cranking on.

I began to shiver, strongly.

It was the hormones, not the temp, but still. Crazy.

We moved to the bed and she began to nurse.

I began to cramp.

After about 20 or 30 minutes we decided to cut the cord (it had completely stopped pulsing) and the placenta felt ready to come out, too.

David grabbed my book draft and found the picture of where to tie and cut the cord...he'd prepared the strings earlier during labor...and he did a fantastic job of it!

Then I got up to pee and put the bowl in the toilet, placenta popped right out into it. We checked the placenta for completeness.

I noticed that my white bath mat was ruined. It looked like a war zone or a terrible murder scene, I have to say! The bath water, bloodied, and the rug, and the floor. Ah, well. It was beautiful all the same.

And then we rested.

We told our birth stories to each other.

We "missed" a meconium poop in the blanket.

We figured time of birth was about 5:51am, given the time stamp on the photograph on David's phone.

9 pounds of love.

(David turned out to be the best. doula. ever.)

He cleaned everything up and then we began sending photos to our moms and FaceTimed the kiddos so they could see their new sister.

I told my mom to bring them home right away...I wanted them there, now! :)

Then, our gate beeped. The cleaning lady arrived and cleaned our entire house (happy surprise!). The vacuum did wake me from my first little nap, but I appreciated their magical timing, no question!

And that was it.

3 of the kids came home in a few hours and met their new lil sis:

I called the pediatrician on day 1 and was surprised that the lead doctor advised us to go to the hospital first "because of how the birth happened...at home."

I was appalled. I let them have a piece of my mind. The quickly course-corrected.

Then, they got me a special appointment with Dr. Peggy (our usual doc) 4 days later...which satisfied me because she knows me very well by now.

I measured my uterus' involution (returning to the normal place) per my book...and felt healthy with perfect signs of a good recovery.

On day 2, we captured Twyla's footprints on my new Unassisted Birth Birth Certificate (which also now comes with my book Brave New Birth) with the little baby-safe inkpad I'd ordered previously.

Caught pees and poos galore and by day 3 Twyla and I had established our EC rhythm.

At the pediatrician 4 days later, Twyla was given a bill of clean health. Although we already figured that...her breath and color and vitality and grip...all great signs of a very healthy baby.

Poop output and breastmilk input...all normal. All great signs.

But, I do like to go in and introduce them to the doc and this is the longest we'd waited yet...I am glad we took our time.

And that's it.

Thank you for hearing my story!

It was the most satisfying birth and I am so grateful for everything that happened (every thing!! even the supposedly bad bits) to make it exactly what it was.

It could not have happened any other way.

Now, I'd love to hear from YOU.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts! xx Andrea

PS - The book I was writing when I had Twyla is now available in both digital and paperback formats! Whether you want practical guidance for an unassisted birth or simply want to deepen your understanding of natural birth in general, this book is the how-to manual you've been waiting for.

The info in this book can be applied to any birth, full of biological wisdom and mammalian common sense. <3

Thanks for Listening!

To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on 7/9/19

Top hat potty: the best newborn potty, hands-down, complete with cozy and nonslip band

Go Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

Baby Meets Potty: my deep dive minicourse about starting Elimination Communication right at birth, up to 12 weeks old (an add-on to my book, above)

The Unassisted Birth Manual: my forthcoming book on how to have an unassisted pregnancy, birth, and/or postpartum (also useful info for anyone planning a natural birth)

The post The unassisted waterbirth of our 5th baby: Full Birth Story appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

Translations of this post: Italian

Should you keep track of every single catch and miss throughout your day? We're going to talk about that with today's topic: catches and misses.

I recently saw an image on Instagram of a parent who was meticulously keeping track of catches and misses on their phone. Afterwards, I had some strong feelings about that approach! 

With my experience ECing my six babies (and helping 100,000s of other parents do the same), I think now would be a good time to talk about whether this approach is helpful or harmful.

If you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: The purpose of a diaper

Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast, where we're all about helping you potty your baby as early as birth. I'm your host Andrea Olson, author and mom of five EC'd babies. This is episode 49, Counting catches and misses. 

Welcome to the show, everybody. I'm so glad you could make it today. You’re definitely taking this time out to learn about your baby and learn about EC, and that is commendable. I commend you, good job. Thanks for being here. 

I want to tell you what I mean. What do I mean by counting catches and misses? Well, recently on Instagram, I saw a post of a screenshot of somebody's phone, where they listed out every single catch and every single miss from the whole day so far with their baby. And then they listed a percentage of how many catches they'd had and how many misses they'd had. 

For me, having done this for so many years and teaching so many parents how to do EC, I don't know...it was really hard for me to see that, because I know what can happen, from experience with five babies and everybody else. That this can cause a few things to backfire in EC if we're not careful. 

If you count catches and misses, and it works for you, great, don't listen to this episode. If you have and it made you feel kind of weird, maybe you want to listen. If you haven't counted them yet, I would encourage you not to. And in today's episode, I'm going to tell you why, and why that freaked me out to see that. 

I am a big fan of logging. When doing an observation log, filling it out. In fact, for the video version of this podcast, I'm going to show this is a picture of our recent observation log where we have noted from waking and feeding when our baby, Twyla, has peed, or what they did right before, like signals. She would talk, babbling, and fussing before peeing, rolled over and peed, fussed and caught a pee, woke up wet, stuff like that. 

Observation is a situation where you're going to learn about your baby and how long it takes for them to go. So, what are their intervals, what's their current natural timing. That is great. You should always do logging when your baby is not going to the bathroom when you offer and peeing on the floor or in the diaper five minutes later. You should observe when you just feel totally out of sync. You should obviously observe when you're first starting out with EC.

So observation log has a really great place, but it's different from counting catches and misses, like this person's smartphone. When we do that, it creates pressure. So, yes, you might have a great day, and then you might hold that as a bar of, "Well, we had 79% catches on Monday and we're rocking at EC. It's amazing. We caught 100% of pees and we caught 90% of poops for this past month." You can get overconfident and then you might start to miss. In that case, you're going to feel like a failure. 

Keeping track of catches and misses can definitely create pressure and can definitely cause some stress that is not necessary. The other thing I want to point out is that the focus is on the wrong thing when we're counting misses and catches. Maybe you want to check in one day, and you want to see, “well, what percent am I catching and what percent am I missing?” Then, you are focusing on something that doesn't necessarily matter in the big picture of EC. 

When you zoom out, EC is about meeting another one of your kid's needs, right? Doing things that they can't do themselves, helping them until they can do it themselves. Would we count how many meals that we were successful at completing? Or, hey, we finished 90% of that pack of prunes. We got about 30% of the food on the floor this time. I'm being a little bit cynical and sarcastic to prove a point. I just want you guys to not do this, if at all possible.

Definitely log to get information about natural timing, but when we count and judge ourselves is basically the point of it, you guys. We're judging how good we are at EC by counting catches and misses. It's not a nice thing to do to yourself. You're setting this bar that you may never attain again in the same way. EC is a very non-linear process. It's very fluid, it's very dynamic. It changes. Once you think you've got it, it changes. So this thing, this thing that a lot of people I've seen have done, probably isn't the most productive thing for your time. Again, you make your own decision, but let's talk a second about failure in EC. 

In EC, there's no such thing as a fail. Yes, ha ha ha, with social media we can say we had a mommy fail or whatever, or a poop fail. But what that's doing, it's making light of things, yes, but I veer away from this as well because I don't think there's any failure inherent in the EC process. There are times when we're out of sync, and all these times are is an opportunity to learn. An opportunity to get back into sync. It's just information, you guys. It's just information. There's no failure, there's only information. 

If everything's going wrong with EC and that's you right now, I feel you and I've been through it before. I've had those days and weeks and months that just suck. What I want to encourage you to do is just simplify your life, reduce things in your schedule, just be with your baby. Be in the moment, be in the flow of things. Turn the stinking smartphone off after you listen to this podcast and be with your baby. You'd be amazed at what that can do. 

Let's talk a second about failure and parenting. Oh my gosh. There's no way that you could possibly fail at parenting. You are obviously listening to this podcast because you are a conscious parent. You are aware of what you're doing, you're trying to give your baby the best start. You're trying to do what feels right to you and your baby. I believe that you are doing your best. You also get the opportunity to believe that you're doing your best. You can't fail at parenting, you can only learn. It's all information, it's all a process.

When I say that your focus might be on the wrong thing if you're counting catches and misses... And if this is you, you're so busted and you need to stop. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just being funny. You obviously are just trying to do the right thing and get a handle about what's going on, so no judgment from me. I just want you to stop, because what I want your focus to be on is not what your success rates are or your failure rates are, because that's implied, but I want you to focus on learning. I want you to focus on connecting, and I want you to celebrate the tiny successes. 

Backtrack a second to learning. Every miss, every time you miss, it is information. It is something you can learn from and then you can adjust your game and proceed. Every time you misguess, you offer and you feel like an idiot because your baby won't go, you're not an idiot. It's information. Maybe you've got to do a log and observe and find out your baby's current timing, maybe realize that you might be over offering. Maybe read my book and find out what is the big picture and what am I missing here, or I could adjust for the long game of EC, because EC is a long game. Every miss and every misguess is just information and you use it to improve what you're doing, to get more in sync, to get more connected, or maybe to back off and realize that you're stressing too much. It could be anything. 

Back to successes. What I want you to do today, and this week, is to celebrate the tiny successes. Celebrate those times when you're in sync with your baby and your family, maybe your whole family's in flow together and you're all like, "Okay, I'm going to work on catching the pees this morning. You can get them in the afternoon." Whatever it is. I want you to celebrate when you're in flow with your baby, this state of just ultimate, utmost presence. It doesn't mean you're doting on your baby and staring at them all day long, because that would drive them nuts, but maybe you're babywearing and your doing your gardening and you've got your baby strapped to your back, or you've got your baby in a swing underneath the tree and the shade and you're working on something, and they're watching and they're learning about how to be an adult. 

By the way, if you have never read Continuum Concept, please read it. I think it's an amazing, amazing book that has really informed my version of parenting and being with children in a way that has helped them, I think, to be more independent, self-assured, and to remove me as their primary playmate, really. That they need to be around other children, and we need to trust them, and they need to see us doing grownup things, and stuff like that. So, anyway, I'll get off my soapbox on that one. 

But being in flow and connecting with your baby can mean a million different things. Whatever it is for you, you know when you feel it. When you've had a really good day and it felt like the day didn't fly by, it just went really slow, that's the kind of thing. When you're in those kind of days, and I know they're rare, I know it's really hard to get there, we want to celebrate that and notice that EC becomes a little bit easier when we simplify our lives. 

I read a book recently called Digital Minimalism, and I removed all the notifications and social media apps and notifications off my phone. It's really helped me to get in sync with my kids and in this flow, and also to catch a lot more pees, hello, because I'm more present. All right?

We want to also celebrate the tiny successes, because you're learning and you're being of service to your baby, and your baby is also participating in this family, and you're collaborating. This is your first real collaboration and it's so exciting, because you are definitely your baby's guide and your baby is definitely looking to you for guidance. This situation of doing elimination communication totally enables that to be stronger and strengthened. 

Lastly, I just want to say it's all learning. EC is all learning. Elimination communication, it's about communication, not some goal, not some I have to get 70% or I'm going to stink at this. It's all learning, relax. It's all about adapting. Okay, so we had a day or a week of misses. What do I need to do now to adjust? 

If you own my book, you have access to our private support forum where we have coaches, who I've personally trained, who can help you to get a handle on what is off here and what can I get back into sync. We're in this together, and you and your baby are in this together. So I don't want you to count catches and misses anymore. If you want to do it one day for giggles, go for it. Instead, you can do observation logging and stuff. I'll link to my observation log in the show notes, at godiaperfree.com/49. You can grab those, and also links to the books I've mentioned. 

But what I really want you to do is just focus on connection, not counting. We don't want to judge how well our day is going. If it's going bad and we need support, we want to reach out for support. Come to our forum, ask for help, just vent, whatever. But we also want to celebrate. What did go right today? Well, I caught the morning pee. And if that's all you've got... I've got a whole blog post on that, all we're catching lately is the morning pee. If that's all you've got then great, that's fine. 

This is a long game you see, and things are going to ebb and flow and go up and down over the coming months and year, however far along in the process you are. Just stick with it. I promise, it will work out. All right. Even if that means ending the whole situation with potty training, that is also fine, because you're still... What you learn and gain from EC is so valuable.

We actually have a guest post on the blog by Ariane, who runs HNI Québec, and she's also in Chicago. Read that post, because it talks about if you have to finish up EC with potty training, doing EC is not a loss. If you've got lots of misses and misguesses and you're just only, "Okay, we're just going to get the poops. This is all we can do," it actually totally informs potty training later. It doesn't matter. 

Okay, so now I want to share a few tips from our readers, because, oh my gosh, they have a lot to say about misses and catches, let me tell you. Then we'll end this show. All right. Michelle from Montrose, Victoria, Australia. I love Australia. I've been there once, it's beautiful. She says her tip is to “count the catches, not the misses,” because she's saying celebrate successes, right? Then she says, "Having said that, I was terrible at this. Finally becoming more relaxed with number three." So basically she's saying she was terrible at not counting her misses. With baby number three, she's gotten more relaxed.

"Also, give those easy potty opportunities consistently,” The easy catches. I have episodes on the four easy catches. "This is pretty much how I did all of mine as I'm terrible at paying attention to picking up the tells," which we will call signals over here. "This is just regurgitating what you stress often though, Andrea." I do, I'm repetitive for a reason.

She has three babies. A three-year-old boy, a two-year-old girl, and a six-month boy. She started EC at 11 months, nine months, and three weeks, respectively. Yes, as you start to do EC, you'll want to start earlier with future babies. Her first two were out of her nappy backups during the day by 15 to 16 months, even though she says she was terrible at not counting her misses, you guys.

She said that she is no expert, but her older two often come and join her youngest when he's on the potty, and we have a picture of that in the show notes, it's super cute, at godiaperfree.com/49. You can see that picture. Okay, so she's basically saying focus on the positives, not the misses. Thank you so much for sharing that, Michelle. 

Now we have another tip from a reader, Keeley B. She is from San Tan Valley, Arizona. She says, "Some days will be better than others. Don't count the misses, only count the successes.” And not as a percent. Just say wow, we did it, we did it, we did it. “Relax and have fun with your baby while on the potty and help baby by being consistent.” Yes, you can do EC part time, but be consistent during the times you're doing it.

Her baby's age is 11 months and she began EC at 10 months, and she's already so wise. She says some days her babies will be fantastic and go on the potty multiple times throughout the day. "Other days I'm lucky to get her to go once on the potty. I keep in mind that I don't go at the same time every single day either. I'm either early or late, but I keep going and she doesn't seem to mind. We look at books, ducks, movies, play patty cake and other fun things while on the potty. If I'm not stressed about going potty then she goes more frequently. My baby has a sixth sense for when I'm determined to not miss at all, and she doesn't go at all. One day we'll get there, but I'm feeling successful knowing that she's already peeing and pooping on the potty at 11 months. Wahoo." All right, Keeley. That's awesome. 

I have two more tips and then we'll go. Emma from Princeton, New Jersey says, "Instead of dwelling on the misses, celebrate the catches. It can be easy to compare yourself to other EC parents, or to days when there were more catches. Sometimes I still count diapers after a load of laundry, but I've learned to rest in the fact that I'm taking a huge step in learning to be attentive and understand my little one. And that's the bottom line, it's fun when it works and is completely worth it alone for the glorious reduction of poopy diapers." 

Amen, sister. She can be found at heartfulnessmagazine.com, I'll also link to that in the show notes. Her baby, she began EC at one week old and she's currently nine months old. Very wise mama.

Our last tip for you guys today. I love sharing what other people say, but this is like just the simplest one ever. Alyssa Hill from Minneapolis, Minnesota began EC at two weeks, but they didn't get a book, she got my book, but she didn't get the book until the baby was six weeks old. "So we kind of just made it up as we went along. People ask if she ever wets a diaper, and I say, 'Yes, but we catch a lot too.' With so many distractions it's really difficult not to miss some, but that morning pee is always very satisfying." Her baby is now five months old and her tip is, "Don't sweat the misses." 

With that, I will end our show today, you guys. Thanks so much for tuning in. My name is Andrea Olson with godiaperfree.com, with the Go Diaper Free Podcast. 

Oh, and before you go, I want you to go over to the show notes right now, at godiaperfree.com/49, and comment in that post. Have you counted catches and misses, and what have you learned from today's show regarding this? I love conversing with you there. The best conversations happen over there on the blog. I look forward to seeing what you think and what you're having problems with or what you've learned. 

All right. So we will see you next time. Until then, happy pottying, you guys.

If you want to watch me record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

"Count the catches, not the misses"

- Michelle D., from Australia

Michelle says she is no expert, but her older two often come and join her youngest when he's on the potty. See cute picture below:

To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on 7/2/19

The post Counting catches and misses appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

Today we're going to talk about diapers, or more specifically: the purpose of a diaper.

"Well, isn't the purpose of a diaper quite obvious, Andrea?"

Well, I actually have a really strong opinion about this one...an opinion that I'm going to share with you here today.

Let’s do this!

If you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: The purpose of a diaper

Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast where we're all about helping you stop depending on diapers as early as birth. I'm your host Andrea Olson, author and mom of five EC’d babies. This is Episode 48, The purpose of a diaper.

Hey, you guys. I'm so glad to have you here this week. This is a really special episode. I have a really strong opinion about what a diaper is actually supposed to be for, and I'm going to tell you about it here today. And then, I would love to know your comments after we're done. Those comments and that conversation will happen over where the show notes are hosted on my website, godiaperfree.com/48.

Okay, so let's talk about it. What is the purpose of a diaper? Well, ask anybody who does not do EC, or know that it exists or that you can possibly early potty train, will tell you that “a diaper is meant to hold my babies pee and poop. And then, when my baby tells me that he's ready, he can start using the toilet.” Basically, what you're saying is the diaper is a toilet, and if you ask somebody they would say, “Well, yeah, it is.” I don't know if it really clicked that that doesn't feel right or does feel right. Maybe for some people it is right. For me, it doesn't feel right. Diapers were never meant to be a toilet when they first came out.

One of my mentors, in business and stuff and life really, worked for Pampers for...it's either 25 or 35 years. I always get it mixed up, but he has like patents for certain diaper designs and everything. He was way up in it, and he told me that diapers were first invented − disposable diapers in the early 60s − to help make it more convenient so moms could get out of the house and have to do less laundry. This was the beginning of the whole, really the early beginnings of feminist movement, everything else, and female empowerment with getting moms out of the house. The washer and dryer helped with that as well.

But this invention, so at first nobody wanted disposable diapers, and he told me this when we had our chats about diapers. I thought they were evil, and I wanted to know why and when they came about. I do have a whole podcast episode on a brief history of diapers, and that is episode number 24. But today, I'm going to talk about it a little bit different way. Basically, he told me that they invented them as convenient tools for parents, for moms specifically, but I don't think that they ever meant for them to be full-time toilets. At that time, parents were using diapers as a backup, and they were using cloth. Cloth diapers have only generally been around commercially for a couple hundred years. That, in the vast expanse of human history, is a small blip, right? What did they do before that?

Well, I talk about that in the other show episode about the brief history of diapers. But basically, yeah, if it were going to be inconvenient to potty the baby during nomadic travels or certain like really cold climates, then they would use a backup on the baby just in case, but it was never a full-time toilet. We just didn't have the equipment or the tools for that. You could only go so far with mosses and furs.

Over the course of human evolution, we invented these convenient little things called cloth diapers, muslin, flour sack type stuff, and they were very loosely fitting, and it was really just until the child began to walk, when we could actually totally train them onto a toilet, and we would use it as a backup. It was for when the baby wasn't quite able to do it themselves yet, and when they became old enough to walk, then the backup would go away.

Today, I want to challenge you to re-address your own belief system about diapers. The purpose of a diaper, is it for a backup or a toilet? And, who made it a toilet in the first place? Well, that would be those big bad diaper companies, and they're not all bad, and I sure hope they have good intentions, but it's bad for the environment, and that's what I'm saying here. I am not going to diaper shame any parent, but I am going to shame the diaper companies, because they're ruining the environment.

Here's my point, you guys. The purpose of a diaper is − and always was when they first came out − to be a backup, not a toilet. Those companies which − who would like to have your money for four, or five, and six years of diapering your child day and night, pull-ups included − would like for you to believe that the diaper is supposed to be a toilet, and have exquisitely marketed their way in to change your entire culture to believe this myth.

This is not good for your baby. You can look at my scientific report blog post on that. Toilet training after two is not good for your baby. This is not good for the environment. 24 billion diapers land filled a year that never biodegrade. And this is not good for your relationship with them. You miss out on this key opportunity to communicate and converse with your child and to really give them self esteem and dignity that they are born with and wanting. They want to have good hygiene. They want all of this stuff.

We can directly support them in being extremely confident, self-efficient, independent, and confident children through teaching them at developmentally appropriate ages, which happens to be as they age, Montessori frame of thought is 12 to 18 months, is the sensitive period for this task of toilet independence, starting and finishing happening then, and that's what we've always done since diapers were around. And before diapers, when they would wriggle and fuss, we would just point and shoot. We would do what is called EC. Or we would use, as we became more modern and modern, we use a backup, but it never was intended to be a toilet until the diaper companies came along and thought, “Wow, we can make billions of dollars through having kids in diapers longer and longer.”

Now, let's circle back to my mentor. When I told him about EC and I told him about how parents are now choosing to start at birth − at least by 18 months, wrapping everything up by 18 months in most ideal situations − it blew his mind. He couldn't even talk to me for a few days. When we came back around, he was like, “Wow, I really honestly thought we were helping making things more convenient for moms by giving them ages and stages, and letting them move into the next stage of diaper, but what I didn't think about is what was good for the mom, and what was good for the baby, and the cost of it for the mom, and the impact on the environment, and all that.”

The point of this episode 48 is the purpose of the diaper is a backup, not a toilet. Once you can make that paradigm shift, and go, “Okay, I'm going to put this diaper on my baby, but I'm going to stay aware of their elimination.” Which is the spirit of EC, even if you're not pottying them. “I'm going to stay aware of this, and I'm going to use this as a backup until I learn how to do EC, or until I decide to do potty training, or until I...or while I'm busier, or making dinner, or attending to my other kid, or while we're in the car. It's going to be a backup for when we possibly will miss each other, and it's not any longer going to be used as a toilet in my house.” Some use as a backup at night because I want my baby to get a lot of sleep, and I think that it's best for this to be there as a backup for, you know, those nights when he doesn't come up dry in the morning. That kind of thing.

Hopefully, that makes sense. I also want to offer you a few resources. There is a blog post that I wrote called The Paradigm Shift, or something to that effect. The diaper is no longer a toilet when you start doing EC, it's now a backup. I want you to read that if you're interested, and then I also want to tell you about a biodegradable diaper that has just come out that I am using in my own household. It will biodegrade with their instructions in 75 days average if you follow the instructions and if it doesn't have poop in it, which if you're doing EC, usually you don't have poopy diapers. Yay, win, win, win.

This is called Dyper, D-Y-P-E-R. I am an ambassador of theirs only because I use it, and I actually want everybody to get it. And hey, they offer me a reward if I send anybody their way, so just note that if you do follow my link it will be benefiting me so that I can help give more and more information about EC to others and keep this business going. You can click on it if you want. I'll put it in the show notes, but it's godiaperfree.com/dyper, D-Y-P-E-R. The reason I say that is I want to be transparent about that.

I don't ever promote anything that I don't use or love for EC. And I have to say, you guys, this is game changing. Biodegradable diaper that doesn't leak, that shows an indicator on it when it's wet, so you can check without having to constantly take off your baby's diaper, or they're wet already, and that can go back into the earth, and is made of bamboo fibers. And by the way, their wipes are amazing too. I have been yearning for something like this, one that actually works, for so long. And guys, you can get technical and nitpicky about, “Oh, well maybe it doesn't biodegrade perfectly in my back garden. Do I need special whatever?” On their website, they talk about responsibility with diapers and how to deal with the waste.

But it is an improvement, a vast improvement versus any other diaper out there, and including the intense resources we use to launder cloth diapers, just saying. There is no perfect solution, but if you want a better disposable option, then definitely check out Dyper, and use that D-Y-P-E-R, Dyper, as a backup, not a toilet. If you're doing cloth diapering that is great, and you can use these biodegradable ones as a backup at night if that helps you all to get more sleep, but I just wanted to offer that to you, and let you know that there are other options there, and that cloth is always, always a great idea as well. I support you in whatever kind of diaper you want to use. It's your decision.

The point is with EC, the diaper is no longer a toilet once you start and commit to EC. It is now a backup, and that is the punch line. Okay, so I probably didn't need to spend a whole 10 minutes talking about all those details, but I really wanted to sink in you guys. We have been taught in our diapering culture that they are toilets, and they just simply never were meant to be, and our babies aren't designed for them to be. Even a horse walks around with a poop bag on parades and stuff, and it tries to catch it all. That's kind of like a diaper. Why would we want to do that to our kids? All right, not for long anyway.

Okay, so we have a tip from one of our readers in Estonia, Kaia. She began EC at birth, and her baby's age was 11 months old when she sent me this tip. She has a website. She's an artist. I will link to it in the show notes, because I cannot pronounce it. I think it's kaiaotstak.planet.ee. She has beautiful artwork, definitely check her out.

This is her tip, and I'll leave you with this. “My first tip is that at the beginning don't do much reading on EC, just acknowledge that it is possible.” It's like what we're talking about today, this paradigm shift. It's possible. “Simplicity helps you to focus and find your inner wisdom and guidance. Your intuition leads you in the best way and you're more focused on your own baby. Afterwards the readings on the topic will help you to overcome the new obstacles − especially the psychological ones, and it's good to know what might happen in the future.” For that you guys, listen to my podcast. When you get into new obstacles, definitely get my book Go Diaper Free. Cause she has it, I'm just saying.

“My second tip [from Kaia] is that you should make a firm decision to follow EC, if you want to do this. When you know what you want, then the baby will definitely follow you. When you're uncertain, then the baby will receive mixed messages and will not know what is actually expected. She senses your hesitation." Oh my gosh, Kaia, you nailed it on both of your tips. Thank you so much for those.

Yeah, that's the end of this podcast you guys. You've been listening to the Go Diaper Free Podcast with Andrea Olson. Oh, by the way, I want you to go over to the website real quick, to the blog, godiaperfree.com/48, and in the comments, I want you to tell me what you think about the diaper being a backup versus a toilet, and I want you to tell us if you have anything to add to that, or any questions about this concept. Or did this concept blow your mind? Are you so excited now? We have great conversations over there. Please join us, and again, this is the end of the show, and I'll see you next time. Thanks so much for being here. I'm Andrea with Go Diaper Free.

If you want to watch me record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on 6/25/19

The post The purpose of a diaper: My thoughts on why diapers are misunderstood. appeared first on Go Diaper Free.