* Paul wrote in Ephesians that men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church.

* Here in Philippians he gives us a picture of what that love looks like.

* Husbands should see Christ’s example and apply it to their lives:

* 1) He is humble (vs 5) - humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.

* Women naturally do this, but men have to work on it.

* When men are humble it melts a woman’s heart.

* 2) He is sacrificial (vs 6) - He sacrificed his right for His responsibility.

* He let go of His “Godness” so He could experience our “Humanness” - He empathized with us.

* When men empathize it breaks down the walls in their wife’s heart.

* 3) He is a servant (vs 7) - He washed feet.

* A man who serves his wife will have a happy life.

* 4) He was willing to be misunderstood (vs 8) - He died a criminal, but this wasn’t true.

* A man should be willing to forsake his reputation for his beloved.

* *** The results of doing the above:

* 1) He was elevated to a place of honor (vs 9) - Jesus is now in the place of honor.

* “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown” (Proverbs 12:4).

* She became noble by the way he loved her, and her nobility reveals his royalty (a crown).

* 2) He accomplished His purpose (vs 10-11) - everyone can now confess Him as Lord.

* A man’s purpose is directly tied to how well he loves his wife.

* His prayers won’t be answered if he doesn’t treat her properly (1 Peter 3:7).

* If men love their wives as Christ loved the church then they will be elevated to the position of honor (having a wife of nobility) and will accomplish the purpose God set for them.

* Marriage is the test of how much you love the Lord.

* What happened was evil.

* But our public schools have taught moral relativism where evil is in the eye of the beholder.

* This points to our human nature being created by God with an understanding of what is good and what is evil.

* We know this because there is such a thing as good, and good is defined by God.

* What we saw in Vegas was sin on display.

* At the same time on Drudge there’s a report that public schools are trying to get ride of A.D. and B.C. in terms of our calendar.

* But A.D. means “in the years of God’s favor.”

* How do you put to death the sins of our flesh?

* By STARVING them!

* We refuse to feed them.

* This means when the temptation comes we replace the lie behind it with the truth of God’s Word.

* This takes place in the mind.

* When we refuse to give attention in our mind to the temptation it will starve to death.

* The command to “have nothing to do with sexual immorality, etc” goes two ways:

* 1) The person lusting - in a typical scenario this would be the guy lusting after the girl.

* He’s got to control this by starving that temptation.

* 2) The one being lusted after - a girl needs to make sure she’s not dressed or behaving in a way that would cause a boy to lust.

* She’s got to starve that temptation!

* A dad is to do three things for his kids:

* 1) Nurture them - “bring them up” is to be gentle with a weaker vessel.

* Women do this naturally, so men needed the instruction.

* Nurture is all about fostering the relationship.

* 2) Discipline them - erect boundaries and enforce rules.

* This teaches them to fear dad properly.

* Rules without relationship leads to rebellion.

* 3) Instruct them - we don’t need to criticize, but instruct.

* Just like a flight instructor teaches his pilots.

* The church is Christ’s bride and Christ’s body.

* This is a great mystery, and to explain the mystery Paul uses marriage.

* The woman is the man’s bride, but then becomes one body with him when they are physically intimate.

* They cannot be physically one unless they first submit to one another (vs 21).

* The man’s role is the giver.

* The woman’s role is the receiver.

* Mutual submission is the foundation for intimacy.

* When a husband goes into a wife two things happen:

* 1) Life - relational and/or physically.

* 2) Unity - two become one flesh.

* As the church we are to be:

* 1) A fruitful body.

* We need to be in a constant “receive” mode (submission).

* 2) A faithful bride.

* Never cheat on God!

* On the foundation of mutual submission (vs 21), Paul tells wives to submit to their husbands.

* He then draws the correlation between marriage of a man and woman with the marriage between Christ and the church.

* The woman is the church figure.

* The man is the Christ figure.

* What did Christ do for the church? He SACRIFICED Himself.

* What is the church to do for Christ? SUBMIT to Him.

* When the man lives sacrificially for his wife she will naturally submit.

* Why? Because sacrifice involves submission, but goes even further.

* Philippians 2:5-11 shows us how Christ sacrificed.

* Sacrifice and submission are the twin elements of love.

* Paul is talking about Christ and the Church and uses a husband and wife as a word picture.

* In verses 31-32 we see the concept of oneness.

* What binds the couple into one? Love and Respect!

* These are the two core needs of a man and woman:

* 1) Wives need love.

* Love to a woman is all about PRIORITY.

* A woman won’t respect a man who doesn’t prioritize her.

* Notice Paul has to give the husband’s a qualifier - “like you love yourself.”

* He never gave the same to the wife.

* 2) Husbands need respect.

* Respect to a man is all about ADMIRATION.

* A man won’t be loving toward a disrespectful woman.

* She is to respect him based not on his behavior but on who he is as a man, made in the image of God.

* Three Marriage Cycles:

* 1) Head Over Heels (energized cycle) - When a wife feels loved she responds with respect. When a husband feels respected he responds with love.

* 2) Heels Over Head (crazy cycle) - When a wife feels unloved she reacts with disrespect. When a husband feels disrespected he reacts with being unloving.

* ** Problem - you cannot withhold what your spouse needs in order to get what you need.

* ** Solution - To get out of the crazy cycle it will require UNCONDITIONAL love and respect.

* The more mature spouse is the one who needs to act first.

* Specifically, it should be the man - he should be willing to take the bullet just as he would on the battlefield (Isaiah 50:6).

* Matthew 5:46 - “if you love those who love you, what reward will you get?”

* To love or respect unconditionally will require you to do it “as unto the Lord.”

* 3) Headed Toward Healing (reward cycle) - when a wife respects even when he’s unloving or when a husband loves even when she’s disrespectful it opens us up for God’s rewards!

* We have to understand that our marriage is not primarily about us and our spouse, but it's about us and Jesus.

* Marriage is a test on how much we love the Lord.

* Paul just finished talking about our duty to live holy lives individually.

* Now he’s going to talk about doing it relationally.

* Oneness among believers is the goal, just as Jesus prayed.

* vs 21 - The foundation for living in harmony as “the church” is the doctrine of “mutual submission.”

* Submission is “the action of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.”

* Submission is to place ourselves willfully at the disposal of another person.

* Why mutual submission? I believe it’s because people are to be a “conduit” for God.

* To submit to God, we submit to others - we allow Him to do things through us for them.

* To show how we can be a unified body Paul shows us what submission looks like in 3 core relationships - marriage, family, work.

* We’ll look at each relationship, the party within the relationship, and the command given to each:

* 1) Marriage (vs 33)

* Party 1 - Husband. Command - love your wife. This means priority.

* Party 2 - Wife. Command - respect your husband. This means admiration.

* The greatest sign of respect is submission to authority.

* The goal is to show the unity between Christ and the church (vs 32).

* 2) Family (vs 6:1-4)

* Party 1 - Kids. Command - honor your parents (obey without having to be told).

* Party 2 - Parents. Command - dads, nurture your kids through discipline and instruction.

* (no command for moms - their “dna” is to love, so they didn’t need a command)

* 3) Work (vs 6:5-9)

* Party 1 - Employees - work “as if” God Himself gave you the job.

* Paul then gives several instructions on how to make your boss happy.

* Party 2 - Employers - work “as if” God Himself gave you your employees!

* One key addition - don’t hold your position of authority over people to manipulate.

* Paul closes his thought with Ephesians 6:10-17 - It’s going to be a battle!!!!

* So Paul tell us to put on the full armor of God to fight it.

* Then he tells us to operate in the power of the Spirit (Ephesians 6:18).

* How quickly Isaiah forgot what God had done for him.

* We all tend to migrate our focus from God to the thing He’s given or done for us.

* Hezekiah showed off everything he had to these foreign ambassadors.

* He was operating out of pride and didn’t even know it.

* For men, this is often how pride works - it comes in as a lie to believe two things:

* 1) Prove - I need to prove myself.

* 2) Protect - I need to protect myself (my image, etc).

* Warren Wiersbe - “Satan usually comes first as a serpent to deceive us, but if that doesn’t work, he returns as a lion to devour us.”

* Hezekiah’s pride cost his kids big time!