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Matt 19:3-6 (NLT) Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: "Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?"

"Haven't you read the Scriptures?" Jesus replied. "They record that from the beginning 'God made them male and female.' And he said, 'This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.' Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together."

Marriage is a covenant, not a contract.

A Contract…

 Is based on mutual distrust.

 Increases my rights and limits my responsibilities.

 Protects my interest in the relationship.

A covenant is a permanent relationship.

A covenant…

 Is based on mutual commitment.

 Surrenders rights and assumes responsibility.

 Has the interest of the other in mind.

Luke 22:20 (NLT) After supper he took another cup of wine and said, "This cup is the new covenant between God and his people—an agreement confirmed with my blood, which is poured out as a sacrifice for you.

Mal 2:16 (NLT) "For I hate divorce!" says the Lord, the God of Israel. "To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty," says the Lord of Heaven's Armies. "So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife."

Love does not give a person what they deserve, it gives the person what they need.

Building Covenant Relationships

1. We will make the choice to love.

Col 3:14 (NLT) Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.

2. We will prioritize our relationship.

Gal 6:7,9 (NLT) You will always harvest what you plant… So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up.

3. We will trust God.

Ps 127:1 (NLT) Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted.

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Heb 13:4 (NIV) Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

Eph 5:3-4 (NLT) Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God's people.

1 Cor 6:18-20 (NLT) Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

From This Day Forward

1. Make a commitment to God’s standards.

Ps 119:9 (NLT) How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word.

2. Manage my mind.

Job 31:1 (NLT) "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman.”

3. Magnify the consequences.

Prov 6:32 (NLT) But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself.

4. Maintain proper relationships.

Prov 13:20 (NLT) Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.

Response:

1. Am I defensive, remorseful or repentant?

2. Which parameter do I need to work on?

3. What’s one thing I can do this week to improve?

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Choose Life

Genesis 2:18 (NIV) “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

 Life-giving relationships look to God as the source of developing relationships.

Genesis 2:19-22 (NIV) “Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man."

Genesis 2:23-24 (NIV) The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

 Life-giving relationships happen when two become one in Christ.

Genesis 2:25 (NIV) Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”

 Life-giving relationships develop when we learn to be naked and feel no shame.

1 John 4:8 (NIV) “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

 Life-giving relationships make the choice everyday.

Choices lead. Feelings follow.

Have Fun

1. We need side-to-side time.

Matt 6:21 (NIV) “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

2. We need face-to-face time.

Ecclesiastes 9:9 (NLT) “Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil.”

3. We need belly-button to belly-button time.

Proverbs 5:15-23 (NLT) "Drink water from your own well—share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman, or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman? For the Lord sees clearly what a man does, examining every path he takes. An evil man is held captive by his own sins; they are ropes that catch and hold him. He will die for lack of self-control; he will be lost because of his great foolishness."

James 1:22 (NIV) “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.”

Response:

1. Are we currently having fun in our marriage?

2. What are we allowing to get in the way of having fun?

3. What is one thing we can do to invest more time into our relationship this week?

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Prov 18:22 (NLT) The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.

Three Wrong Turns We Take

 We are fighting the wrong enemy.

Mark 3:25 (NLT) If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.

 We are driven by the wrong motives.

James 4:1-3 (NLT) What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don't they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don't have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can't get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don't have what you want because you don't ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don't get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.

 We are using the wrong tactics.

James 1:19-20 (NLT) Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.

Three Rules for Fighting Fair

1. Stop and listen carefully. “...quick to listen”

Prov 18:2 (NLT) Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.

2. Guard my words vigilantly. “...slow to speak”

Prov 21:23 (NLT) Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble.

a. Should what I’m thinking be said?

b. Should what I’m thinking be said right now?

Verbal Ground Rules

 Never call names

 Never yell

 Never get historical

 Never threaten divorce

 Never quote the Bible or your pastor in a fight

3. Manage my anger righteously. “...slow to become angry”

Eph 4:26-27 (NLT) And "don't sin by letting anger control you." Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

Warning Signs

 Criticizing

 Contempt

 Defensiveness

 Stonewalling

Matt 19:26 With man, this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible.

Discussion Questions:

1. Of the three wrong turns, which is my tendency?

2. Of the three Rules for Fighting Fair, which is the hardest?

3. What can I do this week to fight more fairly?

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From This Day Forward

1. Seek God

2. Fight Fair

3. Have Fun

4. Stay Pure

5. Never Give up

Seek God

Matt 6:33 (NLT) Seek the Kingdom of God above all else and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

Anything you idolize other than God you will eventually

demonize.

 God is my One and my spouse is my Two.

 Singles: I will seek the One while preparing for my two.

 Married people: I will seek the One with my two.

A Harvard Study revealed that only 1 out of 1,246 couples got a divorce if they did just three simple things on a regular basis:

1. Pray together.

James 5:16 (NLT) Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful

results.

2. Discuss the Bible together.

Deut 6:6-7 (NLT) And you must commit yourselves

wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.

3. Attend church together.

Luke 4:16-17 (NLT) When he (Jesus) came to the village of

Nazareth, his boyhood home, he went as usual to the synagogue on the Sabbath and stood up to read the Scriptures.

Ps 127:1 (NLT) Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted.

The number one essential of healthy relationships is living a

God-first life.

Discussion Questions:

1. Is God first in my life?

2. Which of the 3 commitments do I/we need to work on?

3. What one thing can I start this week to increase my odds?

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God, if you’re real, make yourself real to me. Awaken in me the confidence that I can have a brand-new life.

John 10:10 (NIV) I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

“LIFE” in Greek

1. BIOS: Natural Life

2. ZOE: Quality of Life

Luke 15:11-12 (NLT) To illustrate the point further, Jesus told them this story: "A man had two sons. The younger son told his father, 'I want my share of your estate now before you die.' So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons.

Living the ZOE Life

1. Celebrate: We Party at the Lost and Found

Luke 15:6 ...he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying, 'Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.'

Luke 15:9 ...she calls in her friends and neighbors and say, 'Rejoice with me because I have found my lost coin.'

Luke 15:23-24 We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.' So the party began.

Psalm 149:4 “The Lord takes delight in his people.”

2. Connect: We Discover We’re Better Together

3. Contribute: We Find Our Part in God’s Dream

 We create the environment for people to come home.

 We create the environment to encounter God’s presence.

 We’re called to contribute our resources toward God’s dream.

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Luke 15:11-24 “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.”

Luke 15:22 “Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.”

“Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is illusion. God’s love for you and his choice of you constitute your worth. Accept that, and let it become the most important thing in your life.”

- Brennan Manning, Abba’s Child

God if you are real, make yourself real to me. Awaken in me the awareness that I am your unconditionally loved child.

“Every time you feel hurt, offended, or rejected, you have to dare to say to yourself: “These feelings, strong as they may be, are not telling me the truth about myself. The truth, even though I cannot feel it right now, is that I am the chosen child of God, precious in God’s eyes, called the Beloved from all eternity, and held safe in an everlasting belief.’”

- Henri Nouwen, Life of the Beloved

Luke 15:23-24 “’Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.”

Response Questions:

1. What is keeping you from coming home and experiencing the embrace of the Father today?

2. Have you asked God to forgive you?

Finding Our Way Back to God

1. Admit that I need help.

“We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the present and let our illusions die.”

– Richard Rohr

Prodigal by Michael Mark

The son, The one, The prodigal kind

Nothin but frivolity and fun on his mind

Inheritance, In a sense, Sitting, gathering dust

Grieving a tradition stipulating he must

Wait For the date, The old man would croak

But his wait for the estate, Had him borderline broke

Discontent, He’d circumvent, The rules he’d come to resent

Demanding a percent, Askin’ pop to consent

And off he went, content On a sinful dissent

Prodigal, Defined as Recklessly extravagant

But you know how sin goes, It often starts out swell

But given some time, It don't work out so well

So this young man's penchant for egotism

Has him three feet deep inside a world of hedonism

Drinkin’ Chillin’ in a house of ill repute

Already took a shot at every prostitute

His selfish pursuit Ain’t bearin’ no fruit;

Runnin’ out of loot, Life dropping like a rock down the laundry chute

Tending hogs for a living, He's filthy, smelly

No food to feed his own belly; Bereavement and fear filling his chest

Feeding pods to the pigs he couldn’t even digest

No rest For the weary

But as he lay there at the bottom, He was struck with a theory

My pop’s workers Got a better deal than I got here

He realized his next move was pretty clear

After all I did I certainly can't be his kid

But I gotta rid Myself of this mess And all this distress

I'll cross my fingers for a bit of forgiveness

He came slinking down the road back to town, his head hung low

Feeling a world of shame

That he’d disgraced the family name

Anticipating dad casting rightful blame

But he didn’t

There he stood, Waiting hopefully

That cresting over the hill his baby boy he’d see

As he’d been waiting every day Since his precious kid left

Praying silently with a heart bereft

And at the vision of his son, He broke into a run

Screaming to his servants "Prepare a feast

Take the fatted calf and straight up slaughter that beast!”

The boy's "I'm sorrys" fell on deaf ears

As dad's kisses pierced their way through his cascading tears

Robes draped his shoulders, On his finger, a ring, Sandals on his feet

The treatment of a king

No punishment

No judgment

2. Turn to God for help.

“God, if you are real, make yourself real to me. Awaken in me the

willingness to turn toward you for help.”

Luke 15:20 (NLT) “So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.”

3. God runs toward us.

Worship Songs Lyrics

Jesus Messiah

By Daniel Carson, Ed Cash, Jesse Reeves, & Chris Tomlin

Jesus Messiah Name above all names

Blessed Redeemer Emmanuel

The Rescue for sinners

The Ransom from heaven

Jesus Messiah Lord of all

He became sin who knew no sin

That we might become His righteousness

He humbled Himself and carried the cross

Love so amazing love so amazing

His body the bread His blood the wine

Broken and poured out all for love

The whole earth trembled and the veil was torn

Love so amazing love so amazing

All our hope is in You

All our hope is in You

All the glory to You God

The Light of the world

Jesus Messiah

Lord of all

The Lord of all

The Lord of all

He Is Faithful

By Bryan Torwalt, Katie Torwalt

I have heard a sound coming on the wind

Changing hearts and minds healing brokenness

I feel a generation breaking through despair

I hear a generation full of faith declare

And our song it will be

Out of the darkness we will rise and sing

He is faithful He is glorious

And He is Jesus and all my hope is in Him

He is freedom He is healing right now

He is hope and joy love and peace and life

I have seen a light like the break of dawn

Giving blind men sight and letting lame men walk

I see a generation with resurrection life

We are a generation filled with the power of Christ

He has paid the highest price

He has proven His great love for us

We will praise Him with our lives

And proclaim our love for Him

And proclaim our love for Him

10,000 Reasons

By Jonas Myrin & Matt Redman

The sun comes up it's a new day dawning

It's time to sing Your song again

Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me

Let me be singing when the evening comes

You're rich in love and You're slow to anger

Your name is great and Your heart is kind

For all Your goodness I will keep on singing

Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find

Bless the Lord O my soul

O my soul

Worship His holy name

Sing like never before

O my soul

I'll worship Your holy name

And on that day when my strength is failing

The end draws near and my time has come

Still my soul will sing Your praise unending

Ten thousand years and then forevermore

Worship Your holy name

Lord I'll worship Your holy name

Holy Spirit

By Bryan Torwalt & Katie Torwalt

There's nothing worth more

That will ever come close

No thing can compare

You're our living hope

Your presence

I've tasted and seen

Of the sweetest of love

Where my heart becomes free

And my shame is undone

Your presence Lord

Holy Spirit you are welcome here

Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere

Your glory God is what our hearts long for

To be overcome by your presence Lord

Let us become more aware of your presence

Let us become experience the glory of your goodness

Let us become more aware of your presence

Let us become experience the glory of your goodness

One Thing Remains

By Brian Johnson, Jeremy Riddle & Christa Black

Higher than the mountains that I face

Stronger than the power of the grave

Constant in the trial and the change

One thing remains

One thing remains

Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me

Your love

On and on and on and on it goes

It overwhelms and satisfies my soul

One thing remains

One thing remains

In death, in life, I’m confident and covered by the power of Your great love

My debt is paid, there’s nothing that can separate my heart from

Your great love

On and on

Your love goes on

On and on and on and on it goes

It overwhelms and satisfies my soul

Your Grace is Enough

By Matt Maher

Great is Your faithfulness O God

You wrestle with the sinner's restless heart

You lead us by still waters into mercy

And nothing can keep us apart

(So) remember Your people

Remember Your children

Remember Your promise O God

Your grace is enough

Your grace is enough

Your grace is enough for me

Great is Your love and justice God of Jacob

You use the weak to lead the strong

You lead us in the song of Your salvation

And all Your people sing along

Yeah Your grace is enough

Heaven reaches out to us

Your grace is enough for me

God I sing Your grace is enough

I'm covered in Your love

Your grace is enough for me for me

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Luke 15:17 (NLT) “When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, 'At home even the hired servants have food enough to spare, and here I am dying of hunger!

Turning Points

1. When he finally came to his senses

You cannot heal what you do not acknowledge, and what you do not consciously acknowledge will remain in control of you from within, festering and destroying you and those around you.

- Richard Rohr

2. I will go home to my Father

Luke 15:18 (NLT) I will go home to my father and say, "Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you…”

Repentance

 Metanoia (Greek) - Changing One’s Mind

 Teshuvah (Hebrew) - To Return

God, if you’re real, make yourself real to me. Awaken in me the possibility that with you I could start over again.

Parable of the Lost Son

Luke 15:11-27 (NLT) To illustrate the point further, Jesus told them this story: "A man had two sons. The younger son told his father, 'I want my share of your estate now before you die.' So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons. "A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money in wild living. About the time his money ran out, a great famine swept over the land, and he began to starve. He persuaded a local farmer to hire him, and the man sent him into his fields to feed the pigs. The young man became so hungry that even the pods he was feeding the pigs looked good to him. But no one gave him anything. "When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, 'At home even the hired servants have food enough to spare, and here I am dying of hunger! I will go home to my father and say, "Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant."' "So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. His son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.' "But his father said to the servants, 'Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.' So the party began.