Friends College Ministry Pastor Kevin Livermore preaching at Friends Church in Yorba Linda, CA.
True love is not infatuation.
Infatuation is not bad, it’s just not true love.
But it can be a good start to a healthy relationship if properly handled.
Have you ever been so excited about somebody that you get butterflies from just talking to them?
Most of the songs we hear and the movies we see offer us one small, narrow perspective of Romantic love. Many songs and movies convey a sense of love that imply love is something you feel, it’s a feeling you have when you are captivated by another person. It’s how happy you feel when you spend time with that person. It’s the butterflies you get when you kiss that person for the first time. It’s the mind-blowing emotions you feel when you really really really like someone and think that person is the greatest thing ever!
These feelings are God-created feelings. They are a gift from God. God chose to allow us to live in a world where this type of love is possible and available. God chose to give us physical bodies capable of feeling such incredible feelings. So first of all, all of that is good.
BUT, this is not the type of love that will last forever. Although it is good to feel these things, you have to remember that those same types of feelings won’t last forever and you cannot base a marriage off of those types of feelings alone.
True love looks at the other person’s needs above their own.
True love is not infatuation.
Infatuation is not bad, it’s just not true love.
But it can be a good start to a healthy relationship if properly handled.
If you rely on emotions, feelings, and the thrill of being “in-love” alone, you may end up marrying the wrong type of person for you.
See infatuation can be referred to as “Eros” love in the Greek language. This kind of love was named after the Greek god of fertility, and it represented the idea of sexual passion and desire. This is the “I can’t help but want to kiss you right now” type of love.
But love as defined by Jesus on the cross is sacrificial (the Greeks called this “Agape”).
In our culture today, when we say, “I love you” in the beginning of a relationship, it typically means, “when I’m near you I feel happy” (whether to a lover or a friend, “eros” or “phileo” respectively).
But feelings come and go, they can’t be trusted, but real love is about commitment, resolve, and determination. See, “Agape” is the kind of love that carries people through a long marriage of sickness, job loss, and other heartbreaking problems.
Feelings of love, the spark, the infatuation, the attraction, is important and necessary but you can’t depend on that alone. You need Agape love.
But Agape is both, eros and phileo, of the above and then some. Agape is an unstoppable love, like an unquenchable fire.
Agape is what you need for a relationship to move past the infatuation phase.
