I have a dog; a little black pug named Jesse. But I often joke that his name should be Hoover, because he’s so great at cleaning up dropped food that it’s like having a little vacuum cleaner. When people ask about him, I tell them he is a “purebred chow-hound” because he seems to always be hungry and will eat anything he can find.

Recently it occurred to me that this might make a good idea for a poem. I hope you like the result.

Our Dog’s Name is Roomba

Our dog’s name is Roomba.

He’s constantly sniffing

There’s practically nothing

He’ll suck up spaghetti.

He’ll lick up linguine.

The floor in our kitchen

Our Roomba’s a marvelous

I have a couple of cats, and they both love to sit on my lap. Whenever I’m watching TV or playing a video game, one of my cats will jump up on my lap and go to sleep. Sometimes, they both sit on my lap at the same time!

Over the past few months, I have been referring to them as my “laptops” because they are so often on top of my lap. So it occurred to me that perhaps I could write a poem about getting a new “laptop” that was not a computer. I hope you enjoy it.

I Got a New Laptop for Christmas

I got a new “laptop” for Christmas.

This laptop’s not battery-powered.

And, yet, I’m in love with my laptop.

—Kenn Nesbitt

This Christmas poem is all about an “idiom.” In case you don’t know, an idiom is an expression whose meaning is not predictable from the words used. For example, to “kick the bucket” means to die, and to “let the cat out of the bag” means to reveal a secret. If you were just learning English, you might not be able to decipher the meanings of these expressions and would need to look them up or have someone explain them to you.

Many times, I will take a common idiom and base a poem around the fact that it might have multiple meanings; both the literal meaning of the words and the actual meaning of the expression.

In this poem, the idiom I used is the very last line of the poem, and the humor is in the fact that it has two different meanings, depending on how you look at it.

If you would like to read more poems that use common idioms, have a look at the “Poems by Poetic Technique” page on poetry4kids.com.

Sleeping Santa

I woke this Christmas morning

It seems he was exhausted

He made it to our fireplace,

And there he slumbered soundly.

My puppy started barking.

He didn’t feel me shake him.

—Kenn Nesbitt

If you’ve ever talked to an assistant on a mobile device, like Siri, Alexa, or Google Assistant, you probably know that it doesn’t always understand what you are saying as well as you would like. And, often, when you type on a phone or tablet, the autocorrect feature can make some pretty bizarre mistakes.

I was thinking about this the other day and I wondered what would happen if you tried to get Siri to do your homework problems for you. Would she understand your questions and give you correct answers, or would she occasionally make crazy errors? What if every answer was wrong, and yet you wrote them down anyway?

That was where the idea for this poem came from. Of course, even though this is an exaggeration that would never happen in real life, I recommend you do your own homework rather than relying on your phone to do it for you, just in case.

My iPhone Did My Homework

My iPhone did my homework.

I asked her, “What is five times twelve?”

I asked her, “Who’s the President

I asked her ten more questions,

It seems that Siri’s not too smart,

I guess, for homework,

—Kenn Nesbitt

When I talk to kids, one question they often ask me is if any of my poems are true? That is, they want to know if any of the things I write about actually happened. Of course, I tell them, “No.” My poems are all fiction, meaning I just made them up.

However, many of my poems are based on something real. For example, I wrote this poem because of my cat, Sancho. Sancho is a kitten, just a couple of months old, and when he’s not playing or chasing our other cats around the house, he likes to stretch out for a nap.

My cat Sancho

A few weeks ago, was thinking about a sleeping cat, and about words that rhyme with cat like “flat” and “mat,” when I came up with the beginning of this poem. After that, I wasn’t sure what else should happen, so I set it aside for a few weeks.

When I finally figured out what else should happen to my flat cat, I sat down and wrote the rest of the poem. I hope you enjoy it.

My Flat Cat

I have a cat.

He slides around

He only eats

He once was fat

He got so slim,

Do you ever feel like your teacher assigns way too much homework? Do you wish it didn’t take so long, or that there was an easier way to do it?

My book When the Teacher Isn’t Looking contains about 50 poems about all the silly things that happen at school, including Homework, I Love You, My Dog Does My Homework, My Computer Ate My Homework, and this one.

Of course, it’s not likely you have so much homework that you have to stay up all night to do it. So, this poem is a bit of an exaggeration. But, even though you probably never get as much homework as the kid in this poem, it may feel like it sometimes. You may not be able to change how much homework your teacher assigns, but what you can do is laugh at it. I hope this poem helps.

I Finished My Homework

I finished my homework.

I read every chapter

I studied each problem

I finished my reading

I answered each question.

By eight in the morning

I handed the teacher

The teacher looked puzzled.

— Kenn Nesbitt

Do you walk to school? Ride your bike? Take the bus? Or does your mom drive you to school?

Where else does she drive you? Do you play a sport or take lessons after school? If you want to go to the store to buy something, does she drive you there?

When I was a kid, I almost always walked to school or rode my bike. In fact, I think my mom only drove me to school or picked me up from school once or twice the whole time I was growing up.

Now and then she would drive me and my brothers to the movies or something else we wanted to do, but most of the time we would still walk, ride our bikes, or take the bus.

When I grew up and had kids of my own, my wife and I found out just how much time parents spend driving their kids places. We even jokingly called her car “Mom’s Taxi Service” because she was constantly driving the kids somewhere.

I’m not saying you need to walk everywhere instead of asking your mom for a ride to soccer practice or the mall, but I am saying that you probably shouldn’t whine if she says no. And when she does give you a ride, it’s a good idea to remember to say thank you.

My Mother Drives Me Everywhere

My mother drives me everywhere.

She drives me to piano lessons,

She’d rather that I rode my bike,

I’d get around without her but

—Kenn Nesbitt

I love chocolate. Don’t you? I mean, doesn’t everybody? When I was a kid, my favorite Halloween treats were always chocolate candy bars like Hershey’s, Snickers, and Three Musketeers. After Halloween night, I always ate those ones first. After a few days, all that was left were the candies I didn’t like.

I’ve heard that chocolate is healthy, but I have no idea if that’s true or not. In any case, I’m pretty sure it’s not healthy to eat nothing but chocolate for a week.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, I hope you enjoy this poem. I also hope you make sure to eat your fruits and veggies and other healthy foods after Halloween.

Chocolate for Breakfast

Chocolate for breakfast.

Chocolate on Saturday,

On Tuesday and Wednesday

I know it’s not healthy;

And there’s not a fruit

—Kenn Nesbitt