In this episode of Poetry in Layers, I step into the quiet ache many of us carry: the belief that we are somehow difficult to love. Drawing on the wisdom of bell hooks, I explore how so many of us learned early that love feels safer when we make ourselves smaller, quieter, and easier to manage.

Through poetry, reflection, and clinical framing, I trace how these patterns often begin as survival strategies, ways of staying wanted in unpredictable emotional climates. I speak to the fawn response, the masks of composure, and the protectors we develop to keep connection within reach. But beneath those roles live younger parts of us still waiting to be chosen, not by anyone else, but by us.

This episode is for the child who hid their needs behind politeness, the adult fluent in everyone else’s comfort but hesitant with their own, and anyone who has ever wondered if they take up too much space to be loved. Together, we reframe that question and begin to imagine what it means to stay with ourselves, to move from endurance to belonging, from palatable to whole.

This is both a confession and a reclamation. A reminder that you were never too much, never too hard to love.

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Chapters:

00:00 - Introduction

00:20 - About Love

02:20 - Clinical Context

03:45 - The Poem: for those of us who think we are difficult to love 

10:00 - The Literary Breakdown: for those of us who think we are difficult to love 

12:40 - The Clinical Breakdown

16:20 - Reflection Questions 

17:20 - Second Reading: for those of us who think we are difficult to love 

25:05 - Closing

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Poetry Related Books:

• The Tradition — Jericho Brown

• Soft Science — Franny Choi

• The Carrying — Ada Limón

• Citizen: An American Lyric — Claudia Rankine

• Black Girl, Call Home — Jasmine Mans

Psychology Related Books

• All About Love — bell hooks

• Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving — Pete Walker

• The Myth of Normal — Gabor Maté

• No Bad Parts — Richard C. Schwartz

• Set Boundaries, Find Peace — Nedra Glover Tawwab

As Amazon Affiliates, we earn from qualifying purchases.

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Carl Patterson is a licensed professional counselor, published author, public speaker, and spoken word artist. Click the link to learn more about Carl and his works - ⁠https://www.familysolutionsok.com/carl-patterson⁠

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This podcast is published and produced by Family Solutions Media, a media program of Family Solutions Counseling. For more great content, please check out our LinkTree - ⁠https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok⁠

In this episode of Poetry in Layers, I open up about grief through the poem “the moment we knew.”This piece is about my grandmother, the woman who held my family together with cornbread, prayer, and a presence so steady we only understood its weight once she was gone.

I share how food became faith, how prayer shaped structure, and how grief sometimes arrives like a pause after Sunday dinner. Together we explore the roles matriarchs play, the way families reshape when they lose their center, and how love continues to show itself in the ordinary, in recipes, in memories, in the way we live forward.

Through narrative therapy, Internal Family Systems, somatic reflections, and spiritual psychology, I peel back the layers of this poem to reveal how grief reshapes our bodies, our families, and our faith. This episode is an invitation to honor the people who made love feel like structure in your life, and to recognize that their presence is still here, transformed but enduring.

This one is personal. It is about loss, legacy, and the ways love lasts longer than absence.

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Chapters:

00:00 - Introduction

00:22 - Where Grief Simmers

02:19 - The Poem: the moment we knee 

05:27 - The Breakdown: the moment we knew

06:42 - The Clinical Breakdown

06:54 - Narrative Therapy

08:01 - Internal Family Systems

09:30 - Somatic Therapy & Polyvagal Theory

11:44 - Spiritual Therapy 

12:18 - This Poem Won’t Save You

14:13 - Reflection Questions 

15:30 - Second Reading: the moment we knew

18:45 - Closing

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Carl's Publication

The Mis-Execution of a Black Son by Carl Patterson, LPC - https://amzn.to/3UyX6nP

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Book Resources

As Amazon Affiliates, we earn from qualifying purchases

---------------

Poetry Relater Books:

• The Carrying: Poems by Ada Limon

• Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude by Ross Gay

• The Black Maria by Aracelis Girmay

• Don’t Call Us Dead by Danez Smith

• Good Woman: Poems and a Memoir 1969–1980 by Lucille Clifton

Psychology Related Books

• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

• It’s OK That You’re Not OK by Megan Devine

• Bearing the Unbearable by Joanne Cacciatore

• When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

• Grief Is Love by Marisa Renee Lee

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Carl Patterson is a licensed professional counselor, published author, public speaker, and spoken word artist. Click the link to learn more about Carl and his works - https://www.familysolutionsok.com/carl-patterson

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This podcast is published and produced by Family Solutions Media, a media program of Family Solutions Counseling. For more great content, please check out our LinkTree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok

In Episode 5 of Poetry in Layers, I turn to Gwendolyn Brooks’ legendary “We Real Cool” as the heartbeat behind my own poem, juvenile. Brooks captured the brilliance and danger of youth in just eight lines, and her work pushed me to write a poem that confronts how young people today are judged before they are understood and criminalized before they are comforted. juvenile is written in couplets that pit “we” against “they,” echoing the constant tug-of-war between survival and surveillance, freedom and judgment. It’s about the beauty and tragedy of growing up in a world where trauma is the foundation.

This episode is about what lies beneath the surface of teens and preteens experiences. I explore how Liberation Psychology, Narrative Therapy, Somatic Therapy, and Internal Family Systems help us see beyond labels like ADHD, oppositional defiance, or conduct disorder. Behind those diagnoses live kids carrying grief, abandonment, racial trauma, and protector parts that learned survival at all costs.

This episode offers both a critique of the systems surrounding youth and a call to therapists, teachers, parents, and communities to witness them with depth, dignity, and compassion. These kids are the poem.

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Chapters:

00:00 - Introduction

00:20 - We Real Cool Inspiration 

01:34 - Mental Health Crisis Amongst Youth

02:54 - The Poem: juvenile 

04:06 - The Literary Breakdown

05:04 - Introduction to Clinical Breakdown

06:03 - Liberation Psychology Breakdown

07:35 - Narrative Therapy Breakdown

09:12 - Somatic Therapy and Polyvagal Theory Breakdown

10:55 - IFS Breakdown

14:20 - Working with Youth

15:18 - Reflection Question

16:07 - Second Reading: juvenile 

17:21 - Closing

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Carl's Publication

The Mis-Execution of a Black Son by Carl Patterson, LPC - https://amzn.to/3UyX6nP

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Book Resources

As Amazon Affiliates, we earn from qualifying purchases

---------------

Poetry Related Books

Infections of Loss by Rushika Wick → https://amzn.to/PoetryLoss

Tales of Trauma to Triumph by Kat Copeland → https://amzn.to/TraumaTriumph

Psychology Related Books

Writings for a Liberation Psychology by Ignacio Martín-Baró → https://amzn.to/LiberationPsych

Somatic Internal Family Systems Therapy by Susan McConnell → https://amzn.to/SomaticIFS

Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Peter A. Levine → https://amzn.to/WakingTiger

Bruises do not always announce themselves. Some slip beneath sleeves, some hide behind laughter, some masquerade as achievement or style. In how they hide their bruises, from my upcoming book These Kids Are Fighting, I write toward these disguises, the subtle choreography of pain that learns to survive in plain sight.

This episode of Poetry in Layers is both a poem and a meditation on trauma’s camouflage. I step inside the ways we mask what aches: sarcasm sharpened into armor, eyeliner crafted into dignity, jokes that keep the room laughing while the heart trembles offstage. Drawing from Internal Family Systems, somatic psychology, and narrative therapy, I consider how each coping strategy is not a weakness but a survival story, a protective part doing its best to guard a wounded self.

Yet, beneath every disguise is a hope: that someone might ask gently enough, stay long enough, and listen deeply enough to remind us our bruises were never our fault. This is an episode about the brilliance of survival, the heaviness of concealment, and the possibility of healing when presence replaces performance.

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Chapters:

00:00 - Introduction

00:17 - Some Wounds Aren’t Visible 

01:34 - The Poem: how they hide their bruises 

03:36 - This Poem is a Lens

04:27 - The Clinical Breakdown

08:40 - Healing: With Tenderness and Truth

10:03 - Second Reading: to my body

12:01 - Closing

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Carl's Publication

The Mis-Execution of a Black Son by Carl Patterson, LPC - https://amzn.to/3UyX6nP

---------------

Book Resources

As Amazon Affiliates, we earn from qualifying purchases

---------------

Poetry Books:

Brute by Emily Skaja - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1555978355

Split by Cathy Linh Che - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1938584058

The Terrible Stories by Lucille Clifton - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1880238373

Trauma Monsters: A Collection of Poetry by JonKeL - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C26KKBZV

Ghost in a Black Girl’s Throat by Khalisa Rae - https://www.amazon.com/dp/159709885X

Psychology Related Books:

The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143127748

Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma – Peter A. Levine, Ph.D. - https://www.amazon.com/dp/155643233X

The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog – Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D. & Maia Szalavitz - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0465056539

Trauma and Recovery – Judith Herman, M.D. - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0465061710

Healing Trauma: Attachment, Mind, Body and Brain – Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. & Marion Solomon, Ph.D. - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0393703960

Coping With Trauma, Second Edition – Jon G. Allen, Ph.D. - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1593850271

Decolonizing Trauma Healing (Edited Collection) - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1433836227

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Carl Patterson is a licensed professional counselor, published author, public speaker, and spoken word artist. Click the link to learn more about Carl and his works - https://www.familysolutionsok.com/carl-patterson

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This podcast is published and produced by Family Solutions Media, a media program of Family Solutions Counseling. For more great content, please check out our LinkTree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok

In this episode of Poetry in Layers, I explore the complicated, layered relationship we have with our bodies. Through my original poem “to my body” from my upcoming book These Kids Are Fighting for Their Lives, I offer both an apology and a promise: to move from silence, shame, and disconnection toward pride, acceptance, and embodied healing.

I unpack how body image struggles can be shaped by trauma, culture, and identity, and how they often show up as self-criticism, perfectionism, or disassociation. Drawing on Internal Family Systems and somatic therapy insights, I reflect on how healing means reclaiming the body as sacred, safe, and unapologetically seen.

This episode is both personal and therapeutic, weaving poetry, clinical reflection, and cultural insight. It is an invitation to reimagine how we speak to our bodies with kindness, compassion, and truth, and to begin rewriting the scripts of shame into stories of resilience.

If you have ever struggled with body image, my hope is that this episode offers you validation, resources, and the reminder that your body is not an apology, it is worthy, kind, sincere, and unapologetic.

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Chapters:

00:00 - Introduction

00:18 - The Struggle with Body Image

01:23 - Attempting to Define Body Image 

03:09 - The Poem: to my body 

05:20 - The Poem Breakdown

09:48 - The Clinical Breakdown 

11:30 - Second Reading: to my body

12:35 - Closing

---------------

Carl's Publication

The Mis-Execution of a Black Son by Carl Patterson, LPC - https://amzn.to/3UyX6nP

---------------

Book Resources

As Amazon Affiliates, we earn from qualifying purchases

---------------

Poetry Books:

The Terrible — Yrsa Daly-Ward - https://amzn.to/4lzpHV2

Don’t Call Us Dead— Danez Smith - https://amzn.to/45VdnJU

The Tradition – Jericho Brown - https://amzn.to/3UvVXxf

Psychology Related Books:

The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der Kolk - https://amzn.to/4mvl9jS

Healing the Shame That Binds You – John Bradshaw - https://amzn.to/45ooivxs

Radical Acceptance – Tara Brach - https://amzn.to/45n8t8r

The Gifts of Imperfection – Brené Brown - https://amzn.to/3JfCjTR

The Wisdom of Your Body – Hillary McBride - https://amzn.to/4mk4EGV

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Carl Patterson is a licensed professional counselor, published author, public speaker, and spoken word artist. Click the link to learn more about Carl and his works - https://www.familysolutionsok.com/carl-patterson

------------

This podcast is published and produced by Family Solutions Media, a media program of Family Solutions Counseling. For more great content, please check out our LinkTree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok

In this episode, I explore the emotional terrain children navigate before, during, and after divorce. Through my original poem good morning, it’s midnight, I weave vivid imagery, poetic technique, and clinical insight to reveal the unseen weight kids often carry, the fear, confusion, and silent negotiations they make to protect those] they love.

Drawing on my work as a Licensed Professional Counselor, poet, and spoken word artist, I reflect on how divorce impacts a child’s sense of stability, trust, and self-worth. I connect poetic devices like imagery and alliteration to the way children process emotion, and I share how parents and clinicians can help kids feel heard, supported, and safe in the midst of family transition.

This episode is both a poetic performance and a clinical guide, an invitation to go beyond the surface, center the child’s perspective, and remember that the way we move through separation shapes more than just ourselves, it shapes the lives watching us.

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Chapters:

00:00 - Introduction

00:23 - The Cost of Divorce

01:43 - The Poem: good morning, it’s midnight 

03:09 - The Breakdown: good morning, it’s midnight 

06:42 - The Rhythm of Alliteration 

08:55 - Individual and Couples Therapy

10:05 - Second Reading: good morning, it’s midnight 

11:30 - Closing

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Carl's Publication

The Mis-Execution of a Black Son by Carl Patterson, LPC - https://amzn.to/3UyX6nP

---------------

Book Resources

As Amazon Affiliates, we earn from qualifying purchases

---------------

Poetry Books:

Counting Descent — Clint Smith - https://amzn.to/4m88DWZ

Night Sky With Exit Wounds — Ocean Vuong - https://amzn.to/3Ujhqt8

Psychology Related Books:

Dear Parents: Notes from a Child of Divorce by Grace Casper - https://amzn.to/4m98ORU

Two Homes, One Childhood: A Parenting Plan to Last a Lifetime by Robert E. Emery - https://amzn.to/45bKyst

The Truth About Children and Divorce: Dealing with the Emotions So You and Your Children Can Thrive – Robert E. Emery -https://amzn.to/4mBl3qe

Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way — M. Gary Neuman - https://amzn.to/3J9cvIY

------------

Carl Patterson is a licensed professional counselor, published author, public speaker, and spoken word artist. Click the link to learn more about Carl and his works - https://www.familysolutionsok.com/carl-patterson

------------

This podcast is published and produced by Family Solutions Media, a media program of Family Solutions Counseling. For more great content, please check out our LinkTree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok

In this deeply personal premiere episode, Carl Patterson opens the door to layered grief, memory, and healing through poetry, story, and reflection. Grounded in the raw reality of losing his father to a tragic fire, Carl explores the complexities of love, legacy, and generational trauma with honesty and compassion.

Carl revisits the day he learned of his father’s passing and shares the layered pain of receiving his father’s ashes in the mail, a moment that inspired the poem “ashes.” This poem becomes a vessel for navigating the paradox of love and grief, the weight of unresolved relationship wounds, and the sacred act of remembering.

With references to Orson Scott Card and Emily Dickinson, Carl weaves literature and lived experience into a rich conversation about the human condition. He reminds us that grief is not a sign of weakness, but a mirror of our capacity to love.

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Chapters:

00:00 - Intro l Quote by Orson Scott Card

01:32 - The Phone Call

02:28 - The Loss and The Fire

04:45 - The Poem: Ashes

05:22 - The Breakdown: Ashes

08:56 - Thoughts from a Clinician

10:30 - Second Reading: Ashes

11:00 - Closing

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Carl's Publication

The Mis-Execution of a Black Son by Carl Patterson, LPC - https://amzn.to/3UyX6nP

---------------

Book Resources

As Amazon Affiliates, we earn from qualifying purchases

---------------

Poetry Books:

Obit by Victoria Chang - https://amzn.to/4fmJky1

The Carrying: Poems by Ada Limón - https://amzn.to/45ltyia

Mother is Time by Ocean Vuong - https://amzn.to/4mpyM3l

Psychology Related Books:

On Grief and Grieving by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross & David Kessler - https://amzn.to/4m5sZAq

It’s OK That You’re Not OK by Megan Devine - https://amzn.to/40TZBV7

How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed (Journal) by Megan Devine - https://amzn.to/4fqDk7B

------------

Carl Patterson is a licensed professional counselor, published author, public speaker, and spoken word artist. Click the link to learn more about Carl and his works - https://www.familysolutionsok.com/carl-patterson

------------This podcast is published and produced by Family Solutions Media, a media program of Family Solutions Counseling. For more great content, please check out our LinkTree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok

Coming Soon! A new podcast that will bring to you narratives through the lens of mental health lying on the foundation of poetry. Eight episodes have been dedicated to season one that will present a new poem to be analyzed. Each episode will be layered with vulnerability, exploration, self-expression, and the availability of healing.

Published author, mental health professional, and spoken word artist, Carl Patterson, is the host of this poetry podcast that adds a mental health twist intended to be good medicine for your heart, mind, and soul. Carl invites you to pause, breathe deeply, listen closely, and find value in the experience. Stay tuned for episode one.

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Poetry by: Carl Patterson

Music by: Stevie "Dr. View" Johnson

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Carl Patterson's Therapist Profile - https://www.familysolutionsok.com/about/carl-patterson

Carl on Therapists' Take Podcast - https://www.youtube.com/live/ba8XmyManak?si=-Jxe6v4Bdo8onfqR

Carl's Tedx Talk #1 - https://youtu.be/D5ix7DOcUXo?si=Szo_TbIM5dyVfQls

Carl's Tedx Talk #2 - https://youtu.be/ZR3jqGtULZk?si=NZ1kVVAMMXrzbaYE

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For more podcasts and content by Family Solutions Media, please check out our LinkTree - https://linktr.ee/familysolutionsok