Polycurious

Today I share my experience unexpectedly domming someone for the very first time at a sober kink party, and how stepping into my dominant side helped me rethink my relationship with non-monogamy, begin to untangle some of my daddy issues and feel incredibly empowered. 

Resources mentioned

Carnival Dungeon Party:

https://www.instagram.com/carnivaldngn.co/

Polycurious Patreon:

https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious

My Breakup Story:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/143817525/

Let's Talk About Sexual Desires Episode:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/112339837

Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min

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Today, Vee from Girls Gone Deep shares her journey into kink, what makes a great dom, and what people can actually gain from exploring BDSM dynamics. We also dive into what it feels like to want a level of commitment your partner can’t offer, and how to know when it’s time to walk away

Resources mentioned:

Girls Gone Deep Podcast:

https://www.girlsgonedeep.com/episodes

⁠Bonus ep.77 Can You Deescalate Without Breaking Up?⁠:

On Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3UDJ7xPvTfSkYfF8w60M7T?si=j8_tVDw5QpmT2f2Ak21LtQ

On ⁠Patreon⁠: https://www.patreon.com/posts/can-you-de-of-up-156628493

Patreon Meet-up on Breakups:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/next-wed-and-156707476?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

What To Do When Your Partner is On a Date Episode (RAIN):

https://www.patreon.com/posts/112573033/

Njoy Wand:

https://www.njoytoys.com/product/purewand/

Amber Grubenmann Dating Coach

https://www.instagram.com/ambergrubenmann/

Amber's episode on GGD:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/00bB5cIFH7SHl3GJ3inBik

Get my free guide to opening up ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up

Join My Patreon⁠:

https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious

Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min

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What if your head is on board with non-monogamy, but your body freaks out when your partner dates someone else?

Today, Bella and Patrick, who started their relationship long-distance and non-monogamous, share how they learned to navigate  multiple partners, set clear agreements, and regulate their emotions. 

Resources mentioned:

Bella’s Website

https://www.bella-paints.com/coaching

Bella’s Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/bellashepaints/

Bella’s Relationship Agreement Guide

https://www.bella-paints.com/shop/p/the-relationship-agreement-guide

Book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1944934987/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_apa_gl_i_SRXAD2SK285NG0F99Y0Z?linkCode=ml1&tag=jessicafern-20

Sacred Sons Men’s Group

https://www.sacredsons.com/

Patreon episode: What To Do When Your Partner is On a Date (where I talk about the RAIN method)

https://www.patreon.com/posts/112573033/

Abbey and Liam from the Evolving Love Project return to share more about their journey opening up their relationship. They unpack why fairness doesn’t always mean doing the same things, reflecting on Abbey dating solo for two years before Liam did. They also explore whether compersion—the feeling of joy or happiness for your partner’s experiences with others—is something you can learn, and how it differs from simply feeling turned on by that idea.

Join my Patreon ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious

Resources mentioned:

Abbey's Substack:

https://substack.com/@evolvingloveproject?utm_source=global-search

Evolving Love Podcast: When Abbey Vetoed Fer:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/47hASJGbb3UfcaWQTxinxC

Ep.42 Can Non-monogamy Make You a Better Parent? with Abbey and Liam:

https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep42

Evolving Love Project website:

https://www.evolvingloveproject.com/

Get my free guide to opening up ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up

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https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min

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Nancy and Jonny spent months focusing on education, workshops, community, and strengthening their communication before taking their first steps into non-monogamy.

In this episode, they share what that intentional process looked like, the challenges they encountered, and how moving slowly helped them build a deeper sense of safety and trust in their relationship.

They also share practical communication tools that helped them navigate difficult emotions, including one simple but powerful question partners can ask each other: Do you need to be helped, hugged, or heard?

Resources mentioned:

Queering Existentialism (Unlearning Mononormativity workshop and others):

https://www.queeringexistentialism.com/

Jonny’s Self-Love playlist:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1JszNHS2Bw95szUQtDaTG8?si=iModwn0YSR6lbcNv8dVouA&pi=K4mgv1OrTY2g1

House Of Scorpio Lip Service Party

https://www.houseofscorpio.com/index.html

Book: All Fours By Miranda July

https://mirandajuly.com/all-fours/

New York Jacks (Masturbation Party):

https://nyjacks.com/

Sucia Events

https://linktr.ee/suciasundays

My Episode with Evolving Love Podcast:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/47hASJGbb3UfcaWQTxinxC

Ep.52 How to Find Safety with Leo and Luna:

https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep52

My Break Up Story and Tips for Going Through a Breakup Part 2:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/my-break-up-and-143818808

Join my Patreon (for the Meetups) ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious

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https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up

Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min

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What happens when you stop wanting sex with your long-term partner(s)… but not with someone new?

In this episode, I’m joined by relationship coach and host of Making Polyamory Work, Libby Sinback. Libby shares openly about a four-year period in her marriage when she and her husband didn’t have sex and what it took to find their way back to intimacy.

Resources mentioned:

Learn more about Libby here:

https://www.libbysinback.com/

Morgan Burch’s post about sex not being a physical need here:

https://www.instagram.com/goodmorgantherapy/p/DU01M50AD6s/?img_index=3

Emily Nagoski’s books here: https://www.emilynagoski.com/books

Making Polyamory Work episode with Drew here: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/makingpolywork/episodes/Leaning-In-e3c7lgc/a-acbv8i2

Poly Parents Miniseries here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFX44KoR8S4&list=PLuhHN8kw_43UM2tkDWg8xwIZbOQBE__Ee

Join my Patreon ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious

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https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up

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In this episode, JJ shares how he went from being in a monogamous relationship to fully embracing his queer and non-monogamous identity. He opens up about working through shame and what it’s been like navigating queerness and non-monogamy as a man in a heteronormative culture.

Resources mentioned:

JJ's Bonus Patreon Content:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/bonus-ep-72-nre-150958971?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

⁠Non-escalator relationship menu⁠:

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/pwkdxp/v3_relationship_components_menu_last_update_for/

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In this episode, Nicolle Hodges shares how she discovered the world of kink, became a lifestyle dominatrix, and realized BDSM can be profoundly therapeutic (the subject of her upcoming book!). She also reflects on her experience in a polyamorous relationship, including navigating a throuple, and explains why she ultimately decided to step away from non-monogamy.

Follow Nicolle on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/nicolledoublel/

Nicolle's Substack Both Sides of The Slash:

https://nicolledoublel.substack.com/

Watch the podcast on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/@polycuriouspodcast

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In part two of my conversation with Kayla and Carl, we explore how jealousy can be a powerful source of information, helping us understand what we want more of and how we can grow. We also talk about a major milestone in their non monogamy journey: Carl’s first experience stepping outside his marriage, which was also his first sexual connection with someone other than Kayla.

Resources Mentioned:

⁠Kayla's Essay⁠:

https://medium.com/@kaylamerz/truth-sex-and-non-monogamy-8f1e42c8fde4?postPublishedType=initial

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Kayla and Carl, a married couple with young kids, share how non monogamy helped them move out of a decline in sexual connection and communication. While Carl was initially not interested in exploring outside the relationship himself, his support of Kayla’s exploration became a major turning point. Kayla, who is seven years older and had often felt more in charge in the relationship, began to see Carl differently: more confident, grounded, and secure. That shift had a powerful impact on their intimacy.

This episode explores how non monogamy can introduce new sexual energy into a relationship and help long-term couples who feel stagnant find their way out of a rut.

Resources Mentioned:

⁠Listen to Part 2 of our conversation on Patreon⁠:

https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious

Watch Parents Mini Series on YouTube (ep.42 - ep. 46)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFX44KoR8S4&list=PLuhHN8kw_43UM2tkDWg8xwIZbOQBE__Ee

Listen to Poly Parents Mini Series:

https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep42

Kayla's Essay:

https://medium.com/@kaylamerz/truth-sex-and-non-monogamy-8f1e42c8fde4?postPublishedType=initial

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