Pooch Parenting

In this episode of the Pooch Parenting Podcast, we’re diving into a topic that many parents face: what to do when your toddler or young child is too rough with the family dog.

Maybe you’ve caught your little one pulling the dog’s tail, giving overly enthusiastic hugs, or even climbing on them like they’re a jungle gym. You love both your child and your dog, but you’re worried about how these interactions might affect their safety and their bond.

The good news is, rough behavior is a common phase in childhood, and with the right strategies, you can help your child learn to interact with your dog in a gentle, safe, and positive way. In this episode, we’ll explore why this happens, how to set your child and dog up for success, and what to do when things get a little too rough.

So, whether you’re feeling overwhelmed or just looking for tips to make life smoother for your family, you’re in the right place.

Why Rough Behavior Happens

• Curiosity and lack of impulse control are normal developmental behaviors in toddlers and young children
• Kids and parents can misunderstand dog body language and can think this type of behavior is acceptable.
• Examples of typical rough behaviors: pulling tails, climbing on the dog, hugging too tightly, etc.

Why Rough Handling of Dogs Is a Problem

• Potential risks: stress for the dog, fear, growling, or even biting.
• Rough handling can damage the child-dog bond over time.
• Many parents (and kids, of course) miss common dog stress signals (ie, lip licking, yawning, avoiding the child).

Setting Toddlers and Young Kids Up for Success Around Dogs

• Supervision: Always be paying attention when dogs and kids are in the same space and when they are interacting with each other. 
• Separation: Use barriers like baby gates or playpens when supervision isn’t possible.
• Safe Spaces: Teach children that the dog’s bed or crate is off-limits. If the dog is on the sofa or resting anywhere, they should be left alone, as if surrounded by hot lava.

Teaching Toddlers and Young Kids to be Gentle with Dogs

• Age-appropriate ways to teach children how to interact with dogs gently. 
  • Modeling soft petting.
  • Using stuffed animals to practice gentle touch.
  • Role-playing with the child.
  • Read some of my favorite books with your toddlers, including: Tails are Not for Pulling, Hands are Not for Hitting and Love Me Gently.
• Clear and consistent rules (e.g., no hugging or climbing on the dog).

Managing Expectations for Parents

• Setting realistic boundaries for what the dog can tolerate based on its temperament and age.
• Avoid placing the dog in situations where rough handling might happen.

Strengthening the Child-Dog Bond

• Activities where kids can positively engage with the dog under supervision (e.g., training tricks, feeding, or tossing a toy).
• Reinforcing good behavior from both the child and the dog.

What to Do If Rough Behavior Occurs

• Intervening calmly and redirecting the child to an appropriate activity.
• Addressing the situation without scolding the dog or the child.
• Offering alternative outlets for the child’s energy (e.g., a sensory activity).
• Download my free guide on how to help your kids to be kind and gentle with your dog.

Supportive resources for parents with dogs

If you found this podcast helpful, I offer ongoing, affordable support! Join the Club! The Pooch Parenting Society is

Michelle of Pooch Parenting is now retired. Thank you for the support over the past decade. Many of her resources are now available on YouTube for FREE.

Picture this: A parent is hosting a lively party. The house is full of guests, kids are running around, and the family dog is right in the middle of it all. It seems like a perfect celebration—until something goes terribly wrong. Amid the chaos, the dog, overwhelmed and unsupervised, bites a guest. What started as a joyful gathering has now turned into a stressful and regrettable situation.

In this episode, we’ll unpack this story, which happened to a client of mine living in San Francisco, to understand what went wrong and, more importantly, how you can prevent something like this from happening at your own events. We’ll explore:

• How dogs react to busy social environments, especially if they aren't used to them.
• The impact of parental overwhelm on managing kids and pets during parties.
• Practical strategies to keep everyone—dogs, kids, and guests—safe and happy at social events.

Whether you’re planning a holiday get-together, a birthday party, or just a casual hangout with friends, this episode will equip you with the tools to navigate these situations with confidence.

Michelle of Pooch Parenting is now retired. Thank you for the support over the past decade. Many of her resources are now available on YouTube for FREE.

I'm excited to share my holiday gift pick of the year for families with kids and dogs - Hide and Scent - The Ultimate Game of Hide and Seek for Dogs, Kids Edition. It's a fun and simple nose work game for dogs and children to play together. It offers dogs and kids a safe way to interact that doesn't require physical contact - a huge win for dogs who may be shy, fearful or even those who are overly excited.

Michelle of Pooch Parenting is now retired. Thank you for the support over the past decade. Many of her resources are now available on YouTube for FREE.

A lot of my clients seem to be very uncomfortable with the idea of separating their dog and child for safety reasons. But I recently had an epiphany - they all assumed that separation was the same as isolation. And it's not.

Using management strategies, such as using a pen to cordon off an area for a child to play, provide separation between the dog and child. But neither the dog or child is isolated. Everyone can still see each other. The parent can still interact with everyone. And with time and patience, everyone can be very comfortable and safe with such an arrangement.

So now, I am always reminding clients that "Separation is not the same as isolation." It's simply a way for parents to function and do the impossibly difficult job of raising kids and dogs together.

Michelle of Pooch Parenting is now retired. Thank you for the support over the past decade. Many of her resources are now available on YouTube for FREE.

I recently heard from a family whose rescue dog bit their young child. They told me that they have a "one bite policy" with pet dogs and that now the dog needs to go.  While I completely understand their rule and their decision, I like to encourage families to consider the WHOLE situation, both from the human perspective and from the dog's perspective. Dog bites are awful, but they are also often quite complicated with several mitigating factors. 

One Bite Policy From the Family's Perspective

1. Download this free guide to understand why your dog might growl: ABC's of Growling: https://poochparenting.net/abcs-of-growling/
2. It's terrifying when a dog bites a child and the trauma can be hard to recover from
3. A child deserves to feel physically and emotionally safe at home
4. Parents already have a lot on their plate and sometimes it's easier to limit complications to make life easier and safer
5. Dog behavior can be confusing and it's easy to miss subtle signs of stress in dogs
6. It can be confusing if a dog bites a child "who was just trying to pet her." From the parent's perspective the child's behavior is no big deal - but dogs don't bite for no reason. It's important to consider "the why" - was the dog in pain, afraid, startled awake from a deep sleep or disturbed while chewing a bone? 
7. Parents might not know the learning or genetic history of a rescue dog, inadvertently bringing a fearful, nervous or anxious dog into their home.
8. Kids are hard. Their behavior changes constantly as they grow and develop, and it can be hard to stay on top of polite and respectful behavior around animals.
9. Having a "one bite policy" gives parents a clear guideline to follow, so they don't get confused by their conflicting emotions. 
10. When parents are afraid of their child or visitors getting hurt again in the future, they may not be willing to consider that bites can be prevented with adequate management, working with a dog and child specialist or learning to read dog body language
11. Rehoming a dog does NOT mean you don't love them. Sometimes loving an animal means setting them up for success elsewhere.

One Bite Policy From the Dog's Perspective

• Kids can be scary and unpredictable. 
• A rescue dog may have arrived with past trauma related to inappropriate behavior by children.
• A dog who doesn't feel safe expresses themself by demonstrating a variety of body language - some subtle and some quite overt. 
• By biting a child, dogs can often stop the child from being disrespectful.
• It should not be the dog's responsibility to stop a child from being a perceived threat. That's the role of the adults. 
• Dogs don't usually bite for no reason. It's important for people to get curious about what the possible causes could have been.
• A single bite may not be adequate at determining if the dog should remain in the home. Some dogs bite for good reason and some types bites can be prevented in the future by using effective management and learning to read dog body language

Michelle of Pooch Parenting is now retired. Thank you for the support over the past decade. Many of her resources are now available on YouTube for FREE.

If you are a birth worker, such as a doula, midwife, lactation consultant or night nurse, who sees clients in their own homes, there is a very good chance that you will interact with family pets. Because families are hiring you to help them ease their transition into new parenthood, their pets (dogs, in particular) will play a large part into the new family dynamic. And let's be honest - they are hiring you because you are a baby expert...not because you are a dog expert. And why should you be? But the truth of the matter is that you may notice some unsafe behavior in the family dog that worries you about the future safety of the new baby...and the sanity of the new parents. In this podcast episode, I discuss what red flags to look for in dogs before baby comes home, and what to do if you are concerned about dog and baby safety.

Dog Red Flags for In-Home Birth Workers

1. Download this free guide outlining which red flags in dogs dogs might ultimately impact dog and baby safety: https://poochparenting.net/baby-professionals/
2. If your client says: 
   • "my dog doesn't like kids."
   • "my dog is reactive and I am worried about his response to baby"
   • "our dog has a bite history."
   • "I wish I understood my dog better."
   • "I'm worried our dog will be jealous / overprotective of the new baby."
3. If YOU feel unsafe around the dog at any point working with this family, entering their home, or even when you get up to leave
4. If the dog currently sleeps in your client's bed or in the room where the baby will be sleeping

What to do if parents need extra support

• Refer out to a dog and child specialist, such as me at Pooch Parenting.
• Sometimes, dogs need medical support in order to make more progress with issues like anxiety and fear. Working in combination with me and a veterinary behaviorist can often offer the relief families and their dogs need to provide a safe environment for baby to thrive.
• The Animal Behavior Clinic in Portland, Oregon is an excellent option for veterinary behavior support. Even if you don't live in Oregon, they may be able to share their expertise and collaborate with your own local vet.

I also discuss some simple tips for bringing baby home to meet the dog, why bringing home a baby blanket from the hospital is not a good idea, and where dogs should sleep.

Michelle of Pooch Parenting is now retired. Thank you for the support over the past decade. Many of her resources are now available on YouTube for FREE.

Moms are often very busy, so it's understandable that they might try to do family outings that meet the needs of their kids and dogs at the same time. But unfortunately, dog parks are not a safe place to bring children. So, if the question ever enters your mind, "should I bring the kids with me to the dog park?", please opt out and consider what else might be an appropriate outing.

Michelle of Pooch Parenting is now retired. Thank you for the support over the past decade. Many of her resources are now available on YouTube for FREE.

The single most prevalent piece of dog and newborn advice that I see on social media is for people to bring home the hospital baby blanket for your dog to sniff before baby comes home. I wanted to bust this myth and to share how at the very best, this misguided advice could be neutral...and at the worst, it could even be dangerous.

Why people advise to bring home the hospital baby blanket for your dog to smell

1. They think that simply smelling something will build a positive association
2. It's doable, which must be better than nothing, right?
3. In dog training, we often expose dogs to certain stimuli to make positive associations. So the same concept should apply here, right? (hint - NO)

Risks of bringing home the baby blanket for the dog to sniff

• This step is rushed and no effort is made to pair the blanket with good things from the dog's perspective
• If a parent leaves the blanket unattended with the dog, it could be used as a dog bed, could be torn up or used to play tug - all of which could be dangerous when baby comes home and wears a blanket later
• The blanket smells like the hospital, nursing staff, and many other pungent odors - what is the dog really smelling?
• It can get the dog too excited about the arrival of the baby later. 

Other supportive resources for parents with dogs

Looking for some confidence about navigating life with your dog and newborn? Get on the waitlist for Paws to Pacifiers, my live 6-week small group program for expecting or adopting parents with dogs. This program is only offered three times a year, so by signing up for the waitlist, you will be the first to hear when registration opens again.

Michelle of Pooch Parenting is now retired. Thank you for the support over the past decade. Many of her resources are now available on YouTube for FREE.

If your toddler is a little Jack-in-the-box and gets out of bed several times a night, you are not alone. But if you have a dog, we need to consider how to prevent interactions between your toddler and pup in the middle of the night when you aren't supervising. 

Why do toddlers get out of bed at night?

1. They are going through a developmental shift which interrupts their sleep.
2. They need to be comforted and are looking for their parents.
3. They are experimenting with climbing and with boundaries
4. They need to potty or get a drink of water
5. They don't feel well

Dog Safety with toddlers who don't stay in bed at night

• If you are asleep or are in another room, you can't supervise interactions between your dog and toddler
• By using a baby gate on your toddler's door, they can't leave or interact with the dog
• If your toddler sleeps in your room, you can close your room or put a baby gate on your door to prevent them from wandering the house or interacting with the dog
• If the dog sleeps elsewhere, you can put a baby gate in a hallway to prevent your toddler from entering the space where the dog sleeps
• You can put a pen around the dog's crate to prevent the toddler from letting the dog out of the crate or from poking their fingers into the crate

Other supportive resources for parents with dogs

Listen to my limited series podcast, Parenting Kids and Dogs 101 here, on my website, or on your favorite podcast player.

It's only natural for questions about our kids and dogs to arise from time to time, especially as our babies grow up and our dogs mature. And if I'm being honest, it's not really worth asking for free advice from friends or online because you can't rely on the accuracy of the feedback you are getting. If you'd like to learn more about The Pooch Parenting Society, where I offer practical life and science-based tips and strategies, ongoing support and a safe place to share, head on over to www.safekidsanddogs.com. From one parent to another, I see you and I promise, you're not alone.

Michelle of Pooch Parenting is now retired. Thank you for the support over the past decade. Many of her resources are now available on YouTube for FREE.

If you have ever wondered if your dog should be licking your baby in the face or what to do about it, this is the episode for you. I discuss what dog licks might mean, why it might not be such a good idea, and why bringing in a dog expert might help you to get more clarity.

Why do dogs lick babies?

1. Babies taste good to dogs. They might taste like milk or even spit up. Yum!
2. Dogs are curious and like to explore with their sense of taste.
3. Your dog may be uncomfortable and might be using a form of appeasement.
4. Your dog could be predatory.
5. Your dog might be trying to assertively push the baby away.

Risks of allowing dogs lick newborn babies

• Your newborn doesn't yet have a strong immune system...and dogs lick their butts along with other gross items, such as dead animals or poop.
• The "sharp end" of the dog can be unsafe around the vital regions of your baby's body (head and neck)
• If your dog is stressed and is pushing baby away, this pressure might push your infant off your lap or sofa and onto the floor
• If you are unclear if your dog is acting predatory, it's not a risk worth taking

Other supportive resources for parents with dogs

Listen to my limited series podcast, Parenting Kids and Dogs 101 here, on my website, or on your favorite podcast player.

It's only natural for questions about our kids and dogs to arise from time to time, especially as our babies grow up and our dogs mature. And if I'm being honest, it's not really worth asking for free advice from friends or online because you can't rely on the accuracy of the feedback you are getting. If you'd like to learn more about The Pooch Parenting Society, where I offer practical life and science-based tips and strategies, ongoing support and a safe place to share, head on over to www.safekidsanddogs.com. From one parent to another, I see you and I promise, you're not alone.

Michelle of Pooch Parenting is now retired. Thank you for the support over the past decade. Many of her resources are now available on YouTube for FREE.