Every time a 20 year old woman gets “preventative Botox,” Sylvester McMonkey McBean gets a boner. On this week’s episode, we unpack body trends, cosmetic surgery, and filler using the guiding framework of Dr. Seuss’s “The Sneetches.”

If you feel like everyone has the same face now, you’re not crazy — we do! And we think it’s weird and embarrassing that you don’t. Do you have $5000 so we can work on that?

Plus: how Ellie found herself in possession of some good weed, reflecting on the economic systems we practiced as children, and we remember the embarrassing thing you posted in 2018.

Has anyone here ever met or heard of another person, living or dead? Okay, they’re stepping forward and they want you to know: it’s going to be okay. Or it’s not, whichever resonates more.

We explore two cases of the spooky, the scary, the macabre hitting the mainstream for entertainment value: Mummy Unwrapping Parties and TV Psychics. We learn about the many practical uses for mummies and Ellie performs a medium reading on Anneliese and honestly nails it.

Plus: our own experiences with psychics, and a peek inside our cabinet of curiosities, and our first ever guest host!

Would you follow a pig you didn’t know? We answer this question and more in this week’s discussion of two animal heroes: Lulu the Pig and Cher Ami the Pigeon. They went above and beyond the call of duty when it mattered most, saving countless (195) lives.

Whether you’re in your Lake Eerie mobile home or the trenches of World War (let’s hope this never happens again!) it helps to have a determined furry friend on your side.

Plus: Getting invited to breakfast (just kill me with a gun), shoespiracy, and what it’s like to be the oldest person volunteering at the horse ranch.

Looking to get out of your small town and find adventure? Can you carry a tray? Perfect.

We explore two traditions of women leaving it all behind for opportunity out west by way of waiting tables: The Harvey Girls and the Vanderpump Rules SURvers.

In these stories, the restaurant industry serves as a gateway to a new, exciting, independent life for a generation of young women. And as a bonus? Many found love.

Plus: the postal worker to police officer pipeline, the missing persons case of TikToker Becca Moore, and the banana sangria debacle.

EVERYBODY STOP LIVING VICARIOUSLY THROUGH YOUR DAUGHTERS RIGHT NOW!

We explore the (at times)(often times)(most of the time) tragic stories of Shirley Temple and Piper Rockelle, two child stars who rose to fame and fortune at the cost of their childhoods. We learn how it turned out for Shirley, and pray for Comrade Piper as she enters adulthood.

Plus: adventures in babysitting, fake news in Seventeen magazine, and Ellie’s review of Cincinnati, Ohio.

Picture this: you’re completely isolated from the outside world, sleep deprived, hungry, fighting a yeast infection, and disgraced social psychologist Philip Zimbardo is hitting on his TA the whole time.

We tackle two social experiments that push young hot singles to their limits: Love Island and the Stanford Prison Experiment. How do stressful, isolated conditions drive ordinary people to such extremes as physical torture and hooking up in Soul Ties?Would the SPE participants have been better behaved if their experience had been live-streamed to the world? Would the islanders fall into prisoner-guard dynamics if we cut the cameras? We unpack it all.

Plus: we spend an unfair amount of time (to ourselves, to the listeners, to Jenny Han) analyzing The Summer I Turned Pretty, and we hate Jax Taylor.

Not bad for a girl with no talent! This week we explore the singing careers of two artists who defied the odds and gained popularity despite critical disfavor: Florence Foster Jenkins and Sanjaya Malakar. These icons remind us not to listen to the haters, either by choice or by syphilis, and to chase our dreams. Plus, hear about how Ellie became a mother, Coachella being back, and how the Presidential Medal of Freedom REALLY came to be.

Ladies, step right up and tell us why we should accept you into our special little society. We’re unpacking two traditions in which young women make their debut in a new chapter of their lives and work to prove their worth on this new stage: Bama Rush and Debutante Balls.

From the Bridgertons to the Darnells, women across the centuries have endured these elaborate hazing rituals, hoping to bag either a duke or a Phi Mu bid. How did these traditions come to be? How do they exist today? Is there any chance they are problematic?

Plus: We prove that we are good people, Anneliese gives an ankle recovery update, and Ellie shares how an armpit fetishist drove her to quit ballroom dance.

Today we get into STATUS SYMBOLS! Two products that are so luxurious and so limited, people lose their minds over them a little bit. We’re unpacking the phenomenons of the Hermes Birkin and the Faberge Eggs.

How did these pieces come to be? Who gets to have one? Can I have one if I go to the store and act cool and mysterious?

Join Ellie, in her apartment, and Anneliese, recovering in the country, to get to the bottom of it.

You remember being a teenage girl: the makeup, the magazines, the urge to kill. Many of us failed to commit to the bit, but these ladies pulled it off: Gypsy Rose Blanchard and Lizzie Borden (32-year-old-teenager).

What drove them to kill? And did they even do it? How should they be remembered? Join us on our journey to eventually land on Lizzie Borden’s side of the whole axe murder thing.

Plus: workshopping the Poppish theme song, where we’d take historical figures to eat, and Ghost Mouse.