Popup Chinese

As recovering narcoleptics, we know a thing or two about shunning daylight, sleeping in coffins and going straight for the jugular. Sadly, in many parts of the world people continue to harbor prejudices against the undead. And yet blood donations are at an all-time high. It's a crazy world, we know.

Join us today as we strike out against this pervasive and insidious form of social discrimination. Bloody Mary has a more literal meaning here than you may be used to, but regardless of your taste in drinks we're sure you'll enjoy learning all the Chinese you'll ever need to know should you find yourself invited to an underground party in the French Concession, and have the opportunity to chat up that cute, pulseless waitress from the local cafe who's always sleeping on the job.

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You may have been surprised on arrival in Shanghai to learn that no-one actually speaks mandarin there. Sure, the locals may call their language Chinese, but it's a bit of a national in-joke at this point. After a few thousand years of frustrated attempts to get directions out of the Pudong New District, no-one else in the country believes them anymore. Which is why it's a good idea to pick up a little Shanghainese if you're planning to be in town. And that's where this podcast comes in.
Most of our advanced shows are entirely in standard mandarin. In this one we use the standard dialect to teach some of the basics of the Shanghai dialect. Join us and in addition to showing the difference between standard mandarin and Shanghai-accented mandarin very clearly, we'll teach you some of the basic phrases you'll need know to lubricate your way through the Pearl of the Orient in the language she prefers to speak.

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Our biological clock is a natural wonder. It tells us when to sleep, when to wake, and of course when to eat. So when the alarms start sounding and the hunger pangs strike, there's only one prudent course of action: start complaining as loudly as possible in the hope that someone will appear with food. It worked when you were a kid, right?
If you are totally new to learning Chinese you are in the right place. Join us in this podcast and we'll teach you all the mandarin you'll ever need to know in order to make uncompromising demands on those around you. In this lesson we will teach you six easy adjectives and two simple verbs that will help you amaze others with your fluency, and might also get you fed in the process.

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At Popup Chinese we don't shy away from teaching the sort of mandarin you'll need to properly express feelings of lethargy and gluttony at four in the morning. So join us in this lesson as we review four intermediate constructions you can use to create sentences like, "I would rather order in McDonalds than move off this couch."

On a related note, since we're sure some of you will think we're joking, we should stress that everything you'll hear in this podcast is completely true. Even down to the telephone number. Yes folks, as Yeats put it, "surely the Second Coming is at hand." We can't speak for the outer fringes of the Empire, but in Beijing it's not only possible to have a Big Mac delivered to you at four in the morning, it's considered a sign of social progress. We may never see daylight again.

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While you were cracking the spine on that Kangxi dictionary in grad school, your younger brother was hitting the gym. Twice a day even. So does it matter that he can't tell the difference between the first and fourth tone? Or straighten his arms? With his brawn and your brain the two of you are an unstoppable force for good. And you're getting filthy rich in the process too.
That said, despite the fact that David spent a curious amount of time hunting down the photo accompanying this lesson, we're really not sure what to make of it. And we actually had a debate in house over whether it is inappropriately homophobic or homoerotic, which is something you'll have to decide. Brendan summarized our own feelings with his comment that, "I don't know what this dialogue is save strange...." So consider this a little gift from Popup Chinese: the best place online for learning Chinese and getting weirded out in the process.

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Our pinyin practice lesson for today focuses on one of the more challenging sounds in the Chinese language. And the reason English speakers have difficulty with it is fairly simple: there is no good English equivalent. Not that we could think of, at least.

In an effort to help you hunt down this sound and overpower it though, in this podcast we review this sound in all of its strange tonal glory. We first go over the sound in all four tones, and then practice putting it into words and then sample sentences. If you made improving your pronunciation a part of your New Years resolutions way back in January, we think this will come in useful. Just speak along with Echo and disregard the crazy looks your coworkers give you: they're just jealous you're speaking Chinese.

On a closing note, we've enabled our recording hotline for this lesson, so if you're a premium subscriber you're invited to call us using the custom PIN number that you'll find on this lesson's text page. Practice recording our words and sample sentences back for us and we'll have one of our teachers listen to it and get back to you with one-on-one feedback about your pronunciation.

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Developed over 5000 years of history, the traditional Chinese approach to sales involves deploying armies of salespeople to flank the merchandise, and opening a single cashier three floors away to ring up sales. Stamped receipts issued by this critical employee can hypothetically be exchanged for the actual product, although we've never heard of anyone successfully completing the transaction.
Perhaps times are changing though. Along with efforts to lure the few remaining foreign factories into central Hunan, the Chinese Government has recently begun a program to encourage the import of advanced western sales techniques. Key among these is the classic upsell, whose sudden emergence this summer has turned it into the latest marketing craze to hit the streets of Beijing. Join us in this podcast and we'll introduce it to you.

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In this podcast Echo, Liu and 9527 hit our studio for a show about Saturday morning cartoons in China. And if you think they're going to chat about Superfriends or Rocket Robin Hood you're sadly mistaken. Not only is there no English in today's show, there are no non-Asian shows either. So even if you're an advanced student you may want to click through to our vocabulary section to familiarize yourself with the subject matter before listening.
Why cartoons? The catalyst for this has been some good news for Liu, who just picked up a job doing voice acting for the new animated edition of The Monkey King set for release later this year. Congratulations Liu. We fully expect everyone in mainland China to know you as "that guy from Popup Chinese" in a couple of years, but don't let that go to your head....

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One of the advantages we've found to operating out of Beijing is our ability to engage in the sort of scientific research frowned upon in much of the civilized world. Far from the oversight of university ethics committees, we carve our own way through pressing moral dilemmas, such as whether to unleash the results of our research into what is unquestionably the worst joke in all China.
When we tested this on our crew in Beijing, the results were pretty bad. "That's the worst joke I've ever heard," Echo groaned before losing consciousness. Apple was knocked to the floor and later hospitalized with minor intestinal discomfort. So consider yourself warned. This podcast is dangerous. On the other hand, if you're starting to learn mandarin it is exactly the sort of risk you need to run if you want to get fluent. And how bad can a joke be anyway?

Navigate the reincarnated Popup Chinese archives, including the original customized word-to-word transcripts for this and every other lesson as PDF files:

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Growing weary of Lassie bounding into your bedroom at the very break of dawn, his innocent eyes beaming with the delight of another day? Join us in this podcast as we reveal an age-old Chinese technique for breaking your pets of their infectious enthusiasm for life. In addition to covering some unexpected vocabulary, in this addictive podcast we also highlight three common sentence patterns you'll hear all the time.

Navigate the reincarnated Popup Chinese archives, including the original customized word-to-word transcripts for this and every other lesson as PDF files:

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