买单。

Bill please!

哎，买单！

Hey, can I get the bill!

服务员，买单！

Waiter, the bill!

马上！

Right away!

美女，你好。

Hello beautiful.

什么?

What?

美女，你好!

Hey beautiful!

听不见。

I can't hear you.

留个电话吧。

Give me your number.

喂，我想点餐。

Hi, I'd like to order a meal.

什么?

What?

想叫外卖。

I want to order take-out.

啊，行。你要?

Ah, OK. What do you want?

烤鸭。

Roast duck.

这个十块。

This is ten dollars.

五块。

Five dollars.

十块。

Ten dollars.

七块。

Seven dollars.

十块。

Ten dollars.

好。十块。

Ok. Ten dollars.

你今天怎么样?

How are you today?

我不怎么样。

I'm not too good.

为什么不怎么样?

Why aren't you feeling so good?

因为我熬夜了，很累。

Because I was up all night, I'm tired.

谁放屁啦？

Who farted?

不是我。

It wasn't me.

很臭啊。

That really smells.

你吧！

It was you!

你别动!

Don't move, you!

没事!

Don't worry about it!

别动!

Don't move!

没事!

There's nothing wrong!

别动!

Don't move!

没....

There's no....

我爱你。

I love you.

你爱我，可是我爱他。

You love me, but I love him.

他爱你吗？

Does he love you?

他爱你！

He loves you.

今天烦死了，我让研究所里的熊猫看了6个小时A片儿，结果一动不动。

jīntiān fán sǐ le ， wǒ ràng yánjiūsuǒ lǐ de xióngmāo kàn le liù ge xiǎoshí A piānr ， jiéguǒ yīdòng bùdòng 。

Today was awful. I showed the pandas at the research institute six hours of pornography, and they didn't even move.

你给它们看的毛片儿可能质量不太好，换成蓝光的试试吧。

nǐ gěi tāmen kàn de máopiānr kěnéng zhìliàng bù tài hǎo ， huàn chéng lánguāng de shìshi ba 。

Maybe the quality wasn't very good on the ones you screened. Try switching to BluRay.

它们是熊猫哎，需要那么高清的黄片儿吗？

tāmen shì xióngmāo ai ， xūyào nàme gāoqīng de huángpiānr ma ？

They're pandas! Do they really need high-definition pornography?

现在的熊猫已经见怪不怪了。有因特网，playboy，还有现场演出......

xiànzài de xióngmāo yǐjīng jiànguàibùguài le 。 yǒu yīntèwǎng ，playboy ， hái yǒu xiànchǎng yǎnchū ......

Pandas today are pretty jaded, what between the Internet, playboy and live shows....

拜托，你有听说过脱衣舞女郎，可你听说过有脱衣的A V熊猫吗？

bàituō ， nǐ yǒu tīngshuō guo tuōyīwǔ nǚláng ， kě nǐ tīngshuō guo yǒu tuōyī de AV xióngmāo ma ？

Oh please. I've heard of human strippers, but have you ever heard of panda strippers?

还好你只是负责熊猫的繁殖计划，我那儿还有两条鲸鱼呢。

hái hǎo nǐ zhǐshì fùzé xióngmāo de fánzhí jìhuà ， wǒ nàr hái yǒu liǎng tiáo jīngyú ne 。

Count yourself lucky you've got the panda reproduction program, I've got two whales over there.