So Nick is okay for now. PHEW. Thanks Raphina! (Can you tell Eric isn't writing this summary? HE TOTALLY WANTED TO KILL NICK, DIDN'T HE, GUYS?)

Batthwack has subdued Nat without killing him. (Can you tell I'm not writing this week's recap from Will's perspective? Because otherwise this would be colored very differently.)

Raphina, Lank and Batthwack are trying to find wolfsbane in order to reverse the curse. That's TOTALLY GONNA WORK, RIGHT? (Ok, sorry, Will slipped through a bit there.)

But will Batthwack donkey punch Lank? #questions

Music by AbBowie Cross.

I think what we really need to remember from last episode was that Battwack was going to murder Nick. Just like that! All Nick wants is to be Batthwack's friend, and Batthwack was going to kill him, just because Nick grew some extra body hair and sharper teeth.

That's really all we need to know.

Right?

Oh, you need more than that?

Will, the greatest hero of all, carried the little unwilling werewolf boy out a window and attempted to release him in order to protect him from Batthwack.

- Summary Totally Not Written By Will

Music by AbBowie Cross.

So much drama! Party members stealing from each other, punching each other, charming each other, jumping out of windows...

Will we be able to save Nat, or even Nick? I think the real question is whether we will ever forgive Eric for doing this to us.

Music by AbBowie Cross.

So what in all the hells in all the realms are we going to do with this dragon skull? We might have remembered a vaguely dragon-ish thing that we encountered far back, but will we be able to lug this thing all the way there? This is the most important thing we have to think about right now, right?

Ohhhhh yeah and is Nick going to live?

Music by AbBowie Cross.

In typical Pork Fried Dice fashion, we're still in the same location we've been in for the past few sessions. Where are we this time? The werewolf cave. Granted, we've encountered a drunk werewolf who we had to dispatch, and there were gross flesh curtains nobody wanted to touch, and a mound of cursed treasure we had to puzzle over, and a cave that gave us weird feelings, and the Swirly Man showed up to tempt Will with a hundred things (even though a hot bath would have sufficed)... but we've got to figure out where to bring this dragon skull!

Maybe a stop at a mysterious tower will help.

Music by AbBowie Cross.

Will's patron, the ever-despicable (or is it lovable?) Swirly Man, has made his presence known in this godforsaken werewolf cave. Will has annoyedly shouted out "MOM!" at the top of his lungs, seemingly unprovoked. What will Batthwack think? And what are we going to do about this treasure of bone situation? Will Raphina join in the game of severed head ping pong at long last?

Music by AbBowie Cross.

We're in a werewolf cave with a drunk werewolf and a cursed treasure. Will we be able to tell Lank before he touches it? When will we kill this werewolf jerk? Just what is the deal with this cave, and why did Lank feel weird when he began to approach the statue of Mother Night? What's the dragon skull all about? And perhaps most importantly, will Batthwack and Will write another theme song? #bestfriendsforever #fightingwerewolvestogether

Music by AbBowie Cross.

So we're all in a cave shaped like a wolf's mouth. That's not foreboding. Not foreboding at all. Plus, we've discovered a hairy guy lying amongst wine bottles and bones, with blood all over his mouth. But wait, that's just WINE on his mouth, right guys? Or, like, raspberry jam? GUYS?

Music by AbBowie Cross.

Is there a way to rescue Pantsless Nat without getting mauled by werewolves? We'll soon find out. If he's wearing pants, we're all totally fucked - you know we won't be remembering his actual name when we meet him. If he's not already eaten by that point. Maybe we should have thrown that imaginary bomb into the cave! #heroes

Music by AbBowie Cross.

In our last episode, we beat Strahd-- HAHAHAHA, oh, that was a good one. He kicked our asses, as usual. And then the woman we've been trying to protect/use as a pawn in the game of Who Rules Barovia (depending on who we're talking about here), Ireena, walked into a lake and didn't come back out. So now what?