Portentous Perils in the 23rd Century

In the final episode, Portentous gives her bridal speech, gets us up to date with what her family, friends and enemies are up to, details the slight hitch to her Winterval nuptuals and informs us all of her next adventure. To the future! Have a hip flask.

In this Summer Special, Portentous is home at last. Hear about what she's been up to in Nanoclown Quarantine, her Medieval Type Quest to create a portal home from her time loop prison, and how Happiness accidentally destroyed a skyscraper (albeit just the one).

In this Halloween Special, join Mimi the Orangutan French Maid, Sidekick & Podcaster, as she tells us of the great android detective Lupin Savant's latest case. It all began one afternoon dreary when a raven came tapping, tapping at his chamber door. Featuring Jess Mersky as The Advert.

In this summer special, Portentous is still missing so in the place of her usual column, the paper literally just plays half an hour of adverts. Find out about Barry Island's monkey-proof fencing, Saffron Walden's Vegan Meats, the upcoming Global Election and the fun, fun harmless hobby of gambling. Guest starring Clarissa Maycock, Frog Stone, Gareth Gwynn, Ben Partridge, Nat Metcalfe, Meabh de Brun, Jon Hunter, Jenny Laville & Max Davis

In this Quarantined Special, Portentous documents in her personal journal how she's been spending her time trapped in the time loop in 2216. Mostly, she's been hiding from Senator Cthulu and his plague of Nano Clowns. How is she going to get out of this one? (Probably Science).

Having accidentally Leaped into Cecily Spokeswoman due to Beckett's Theorem, Professor Von Pun is able to send us one of his traditional festive Round Robins, in the form of an audio file that cannot be stopped or muted. Discover how the Professor escaped Mars, brought festive cheer to Earth and had a lovely time with Moriarty at the Arctic Ocean Center Parcs.

It's Halloween 2219 & Cecily Spokeswoman has lots of festive messages for us from the corporate Martian overlords at Googapplmazon McUnilever, now that the megacorporation has bought sole rights to Halloween and the emotion known as 'fear'. Her main message is 'do not be afraid of the spacetime rifts opening up all over the place.' They really are nothing to worry about. Featuring Frog Stone as Cecily Spokeswoman, Alec Chapman as Professor Von Pun, Guy Kelly as Happiness George, Natt Tapley as the Gentleman an Gabby Hutchinson Crouch as everyone else.

The Quantum of Happiness: Our non-brand specific home AI has a recording from the vault for us - part of Happiness George's memoirs as he recounts his first meeting with Portentous, in which he did not get to eat any chocolates at all. He does, however, get a biscuit. Guest written by Jess Mersky, guest starring Guy Kelly as Happiness.

With Professor Von Pun still mysteriously missing, this year's Evil Round Robin comes from a minor Moriarty. Cast out by all the other Moriarties for not being Moriartyish enough, the Moriarty from the movie Young Sherlock Holmes finds himself delivered from despair by a visit from a kindly guardian angel, who shows him he's a wonderful Moriarty, and also has a lot of Winterval Dinners to eat. Guest Stars Alec Chapman as The Moriarty.

With Portentous and the gang still missing, it falls upon Skellington Bones, the Old Intern, to put together a very special Halloween broadcast this year, with spine chilling reports from Honora O'Malley and Cecily Spokeswoman, and a letter to the editor from an irate Monkey Butler. Dare you brave the tale of the ghost from the Welsh town of Port Myntw? Guest stars Brendan Dodds, Meabh de Brun, Frog Stone & Paul Jenkins.