We take breaks because you're anxious and then we go in a holiday, pause the training, work, life and when you get there you get anxious for taking a pause! hahahaha Who never? I bet loads of people are nodding their heads while hearing this and thinking, ME TOO! But we feel like that because we know that consistency is key.
Consistency is important for training. Trainings is all about repetitions and dogs learn through repetitions. But it's specially good for anxiety - routine, reliable cues and knowing what is going to happen is great for anxious dogs. They do well in environments where they can predict what is going to happen. So there's a lot of talk about consistency in training and this is certainly important for Separation anxiety.
Consistency speeds up the training, makes the dogs more relaxed when alone and how us to increase the duration we can leave them for. This is where the pressure comes from. It's rooted in this idea that we need to perform in the optimum state at all times. Is it realistic, tho? no!
We will take breaks. And they can be awesome. They can help a lot dogs that are having a hard time in training or in life. breaks can decrease the stress hormones and they it can take our dogs out of the stress loop. what I mean by stress loop is that when your dog is super anxious, any easy training looks hard in your dog's eyes and makes them even more in the edge. it's a cycle that ends up feeding that anxiety. Breaks are not villains!!!
Problem is when breaks become so often that they are the new routine. When we're not in the mood, we take a break. When we're having a busy week, we take a break. When we have plans with friends, we take a break. It's more like a long break with a few training sessions in the middle. This inconsistency doesn't help your anxious dog because your dog can't predict what will happen and how it will happen and for how long it will happen. So your training looks very confusing for both of you. This is when your training gets hit and miss, basically because your plan is pretty much hit and miss.
Here comes the guilt and the pressure, the next main characters in my story. You will convince yourself you are a TERRIBLE parent and that this is taking too long! Self pitty isn't the way forward, neither is pressure. This is the point when frustration kicks in the and pressure is almost certainly the next step. You'll think: "I'm done with this, I'll increase the duration because I REALLY need to get this done." or you'll put pressure in yourself to do it everyday and get even more frustrated because you won't do it.
Pause here for reflexion.
Why is it pressure so bad? If your dog is telling you that he/she can't do more than x amount of time or if you are not having results you wanted or if you are not finding the time to do it, forcing it won't change the fact that you and/or your dog are not being able to do this. Don't get stuck in this part of the process. You need to change something at this point. You can't do the same thing and expect different results.
Let's analyse your training and see what we can change :)
