Posttraumatic Revelations with Afrah Caraballo

Our bodies are walking data babes of information. Every experiences, for better or worse, is imprinted on us, AND THERE IS NO DELETE BUTTON. Each trauma leaves a mark. Like tattoos, or branding irons, traumas leave impressions on our bodies that can disrupt our lives every year, like clock work. Trauma anniversaries are the time of year of your traumatic event(s). Every year around the same time unresolved traumas sound an alarm in our bodies that can cause us to become emotionally and psychologically dysregulated, and behave in disruptive and destructive ways. This annual alarm is the body's way of trying to warn us of impending danger. Knowing and managing your trauma anniversaries, can save your relationships and possibly your life. 

Your point of view can be the difference between trauma victim, survivor, or teacher. Is your posttraumatic prison built with only walls, or does it have windows, or doors. How you see yourself, and the world, has a direct affect on how you think, feel and act. Science has proven that when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change. You are invited to give yourself permission to change your point of view, if it doesn't make you feel good.  

Know love; know grief. Grief is a message that remind us how much we love something or someone who is no longer available to us in a physical form. Grief is a call to honor what was lost, value what was gain, and celebrate the love that was shared. Too often the love and light that was brought to us. The pit of sadness and despair following trauma is filled with judgment, guilt, shame, and regret; AND love, hope, healing, forgiveness, grace, and mercy. Notice and validate EVERY feeling, and when you're ready, respectfully release the ones that no longer serve you, and hold on to the love. 

Forgiveness is a loaded concept. But like swimming we are born doing it naturally. We are taught to hold grudges, judge, punish, isolate, and delay healing. Forgiveness is requires validation that something has been damaged, and permission to heal it. True forgiveness requires your validation and permission to heal. I invite you to remember who you are and what you're made of so that your posttraumatic healing can start. 

What does it take to heal, and what does safety and healing mean to you? We all have wounds, and we all have trauma. But we don't always have a safe place to rest and heal. Left unhealed we bleed all over ourselves and each other. Permission to heal is an inside job. Having a safe place starts with being a safe place for yourself, and then for others. True safety and healing starts with how you see and think about yourself. 

We all have traumas. We all have loss. And we all have the ability to heal. Our courage has helped us survive hell. With permission we can use that courage to free ourselves from our posttraumatic prisons made of judgement, guilt, and shame. I invite you to discovery your why and give yourself permission to start toward healing and live it. 

Every emotion is a message. Every feeling is valid and deserves your attention. Every feeling lets us know we care, lets us know we're alive. You don't get angry, scared, sad, anxious or happy, nervous, and excited, if you don't care about a situation. Chronic mental disorders, have been proven to leads to chronic medical diseases. Permission to feel your feelings starts the process of posttraumatic stress order; it starts the process toward healing and freedom from your posttraumatic prison. 

When we have unhealed, unaddressed trauma, grief and loss, we tend to attract people who prey on our wounds. We attract partners, friends, and bosses who abuse, neglect and betray us. Until we develop and maintain healthy boundaries that can provide a sense of safety and nurturing--the very things damaged or destroyed by trauma. 

In all of nature there comes a time to move or die-- From chrysalis to butterfly, longer than 13 days could mean death; from fetus to baby, longer than 40 weeks can be dangerous. Point is, it is safer to move into the next best version of yourself than to stay stuck in your posttraumatic prison. Flight, Flight, and freeze are trauma responses; moving out of the freeze, moving out of the fear, is a life necessity.  

We all have a posttraumatic warrior that grows bigger and stronger with every trauma. It was created by you, for you. It is your job to train your posttraumatic warrior, and channel its desire to survive and win in healthy and productive ways; otherwise lose everything you love to hypervigilance and defensive anger and fear. By controlling our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, we can control and redirect our posttraumatic warrior. There are no bad warriors only distracted commanders. If you don't manage the war within, the world becomes your battle ground.