How’s Our Driving?

100 Dudes vs. One Gorilla, Bluetooth Pet Rocks, and the Darkest Jokes We Probably Shouldn’t Have Said 🦍💼🍺

This week on The Pour Choices Show, we’re joined by a guest and immediately put him on the spot—fortunately for you (and unfortunately for Chris) the guest is his boss. So naturally we start this one off with a totally normal workplace tradition called the Annual Performance Review. Where does Chris accel? What does he suck at? Let’s find out!

Then we dive into the important stuff:
🧒 David moved twice, in 7 years, and somehow manage to hold onto a bottle of salad dressing.
🦍 Would 100 full-grown men in their prime stand a chance against 1 gorilla? Spoiler alert, the 3 of us could take him.
🧠 Funny conspiracy theories – Were the pyramids built as a “You Are Here” sign?
💸 A $5,000 HDMI cable... for what? Streaming Shrek in 11K?
🦈 SHARK TANK pitches that include noise-canceling socks and a Bluetooth pet rock—your move, Mr. Wonderful

And just when you thought it couldn’t get dumber:
😈 The darkest jokes we could legally (barely) include.
 🧪 A hypothetical scenario involving time travel, but only 10 seconds worth…
 🍻 This Week’s Pour Choices—because we make better drink decisions than life decisions.
 🧠 Trivia Time! Are we dumber or smarter than we think?
 🎂 Celebrity birthdays! “It’s Maiter, Like Duh-Maiter”.
 📱 Unsolicited text messages – Why yes, I’d love to join your rally. 
 📍 Places we’ve been that no longer exist (RIP Blockbuster)
 💬 The most creative insults we’ve ever heard (Never have I ever been called an unfrosted Pop-Tart)

This episode is full of terrible business ideas, worse science, and probably enough HR violations to get us banned from even thinking about LinkedIn.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters
00:00 – INTRO
2:05 – 7-YEAR-OLD DRESSING
3:12 – GUEST INTRODUCTION
5:56 – ANNUAL PERFORMANCE REVIEW
10:51 – 100 MEN VS 1 GORILLA
18:17 – FUNNY CONSPIRACY THEORIES
34:41 – $5,000 HDMI CABLE!?
39:12 – WHO IS PERRY REESE?
41:20 – SHARK TANK
1:03:30 – DARK JOKES
1:07:11 – HYPOTHETICAL SCENARIO
1:12:18 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
1:15:48 – TRIVIA TIME!
1:21:07 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
1:24:37 – MIKAYLA DEMAITER
1:28:48 – UNSOLICITED TEXT MESSAGES
1:31:05 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S A PLACE YOU’VE BEEN THAT NO LONGER EXISTS?
1:35:06 – PROFESSOR X
1:36:34 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S THE MOST CREATIVE INSULT YOU’VE EVER HEARD?
1:43:10 – OUTRO

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How’s Our Driving?

The story that made us want to know more: https://www.reddit.com/r/onions/s/RztxdiXAt4

YouTube Rabbit Holes, $5 Million vs. Prison, and a Totally Legal Dark Web Field Trip🐇💻🍻

This week on The Pour Choices Show, we accidentally prove why the internet shouldn’t exist—starting with the deepest, darkest YouTube rabbit holes we’ve ever fallen into (hint: it involves a weed whacker).

Then things spiral:
🧐 Is social media good, bad, or just slowly melting all of our brains?
😳 What woke Chris up at 3am? (You’re not ready.)
🧼 Power washer and lawnmower hacks we’ll never actually try but pretend we will.
🎮 A chaotic game of “Chain Link” that ends exactly how you think it would.
🍺 The “Beer Candle” invention that’s either genius or peak alcoholism (probably both).

PLUS:
🎤 We preview next week’s guest (and pray they don’t ghost us).
🔍 A game of “Guess the Google Autofill” that exposes how deranged our search histories are.
🎂 Happy Birthday shoutouts to celebrities who have no idea we exist.
🥳 National Days we’re legally obligated to pretend we care about.

And it wouldn’t be an episode without:
💀 Our most irrational fears (spoiler: clowns, mannequins, and… escalators?).
🎬 Movies that actually made us cry (yes, we’re still manly).
🏀 Would you risk 5 years in jail to score a single point on LeBron for $5 million?
🌐 A crash course on the dark web (and we swear it’s “just for research”).

Oh—and if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to get your house raided for buying illegal stuff online, we brought on a guest who lived it to tell you exactly how badly it goes.

This episode is equal parts hilarious, unhinged, and probably an entry on a government watchlist. Buckle up.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters

00:00 – INTRO
 3:34 – YOUTUBE RABBIT HOLES
 11:25 – SOCIAL MEDIA
 16:10 – 3AM WAKEUP CALL
 19:09 – POWER WASHERS & LAWN MOWERS
 23:07 – CHAIN LINK
 27:13 – BEER CANDLE
 27:52 – NEXT WEEK’S GUEST
 29:12 – GUESS THE GOOGLE AUTOFILL
 35:18 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
 37:47 – NATIONAL DAYS!
 38:46 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S YOUR MOST IRRATIONAL FEAR?
 48:47 – MOVIES THAT MADE US CRY
 50:29 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
 52:01 – $5 MILLION OR 5 YEARS IN JAIL?
 52:53 – DARK WEB INTRO
 53:49 – DARK WEB RAID
 1:21:16 – WHAT IS THE DARK WEB?
 1:27:57 – OUTRO

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How’s Our Driving?

Southern Boy Survival Tactics, DUI Tricycles, and Redneck Wisdom – Welcome to the Chaos 🧻🍻🚜

This week on The Poor Choices Show, things get real dumb, real fast. We're joined by our special guest Dookie Mush, who instantly derails everything with enough redneck energy to power a Waffle House during a hurricane.

We kick things off with:
🛏️ Why was your bed squeaking at 2AM? (Spoiler: It’s probably not what you’re hoping for.)
🕋 Do Muslim’s swear to god before testifying? (this will definitely get us flagged.)
🤥 What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told? (We’re all garbage humans.)

Then, the chaos officially takes over:
🤣 Try Not To Laugh: Dad Joke Edition (it’s bad... like, cry-laughing bad.)
🧓 Redneck Grandpa’s Fighting Sayings. Yeah… it’s what you would expect.
🚜 Guess the DUI Vehicle – everything from tractors to Barbie Jeeps is on the table.
🥊 Dookie’s Guide to Surviving Everything – including zombie apocalypses, women, and job interviews.

And just when you think it can’t get dumber:
🎂 Rapid-fire Happy Birthday shoutouts, because why not.
🤠 Would You Rather: Redneck Edition (You’ve been warned.)
🧂 Trying (and failing) to name every Spice Girl. (We don’t talk about what Chris guessed.)

Plus:
🍻 This Week’s Pour Choices
🛻 Telltale Signs You’re A Redneck (If you’ve ever mowed your lawn and found a car... congrats.)
📢 Dookie absolutely obliterates the MDFoodieBoyz with some top-tier food podcast slander.

And to really wrap it up with a bow:
🛠️ Ask Reddit madness – the most redneck things we’ve ever seen or done, and the best (or worst) things we’ve tried in bed.

This episode is a perfect storm of redneck logic, bad decisions, and uncontrollable laughter. Crack a beer, duct-tape your headphones to your head, and embrace the chaos. 🍻

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters

0:00 – INTRO
2:52 – WHY WAS YOUR BED SQUEAKING AT 2AM?4:15 – MUSLIM TESTIMONY
7:30 – WHAT’S THE BIGGEST LIE YOU’VE EVER TOLD?
9:49 – “SPECIAL” GUEST
11:41 – DOOKIE QUESTIONS
14:12 – TRY NOT TO LAUGH – DAD JOKES
19:27 – TENNESSEE EYE DOCTOR
20:23 – THERE’S AN AMENDMENT FOR THAT…
21:32 – REDNECK GRANDPA FIGHTIN’ SAYINGS
29:18 – DOOKIE-ISMS
34:01 – GUESS THE DUI VEHICLE
41:36 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
48:31 – WOULD YOU RATHER
50:07 – DOOKIE’S SURVIVAL GUIDE
55:36 – DOOKIE’S EMPLOYMENT HISTORY
58:49 – CAN YOU NAME EVERY SPICE GIRL?
1:00:50 – THIS WEEKS POUR CHOICES
1:02:46 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S THE MOST REDNECK THING YOU’VE SEEN OR DONE?
1:07:13 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S THE BEST THING YOU’VE EVER TRIED IN BED?
1:10:06 – TELL-TALE SIGNS
1:11:59 – MDFOODIENOISE
1:14:03 – OUTRO

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How’s Our Driving?

Fake Songs, Finger Sacrifices, and Dark Web Starter Packs – Just Another LAN Party 🎮🧠🍻

This week on The Poor Choices Show, the boys bring in a special guest to help navigate the most important issues of our time—like whether a straw has one hole or two, and if it’s socially acceptable to cut off a finger for permanent steak privileges. (Spoiler: It is.)

We kick things off with:
🎉 A celebration of meaningless national days and even more meaningless celebrity birthdays
 🍔 A heartbreaking tale of a bacon mac n’ cheese burger that never got to fulfill its destiny
 🕳️ A straw debate that somehow turns into a civil war
 🎶 The ultimate bracket of fake songs that go too hard (Justice for “Scotty Doesn’t Know”)

Then things get weird:
 ‍⚖️ A game of “Which celebrity has been arrested more?” that reveals DMX was basically on tour—with the cops
💻 A breakdown of hilarious (and probably bannable) gamer tags
 🎮 A heated discussion about video games and whether we’ve crossed into full nerd territory
 🖐️ Sacrificing fingers for your favorite foods (because sometimes losing a pinky is worth the brisket)
 🎧 The “correct” way to wear a headset—yes, there is one, and yes, you're doing it wrong

And just when you think we’ve peaked:
📦 A thought experiment involving cubes, personality psychology, and pure nonsense
 🐷 A large man with an even larger hog lets you know if you’ve been infected with COVID. Yeah… You remember
 ⏱️ A “time-stopped room” scenario that is definitely not just a setup for pervy jokes (but also… yes it is)

We also hit:
🔮 Conspiracy theories we just made up—but sound a little too believable
 💸 Universal scams that we all just shrug and accept (looking at you, Ticketmaster)
 🌐 A quick dark web 101, including why you should probably never Google it
 🍻 This Week’s Pour Choices—the beers may change, but the regrets stay the same

This episode is part debate club, part fever dream, and 100% why we’ll never be allowed to host a TED Talk.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters

00:00 – INTRO
3:52 – HE IS RIZZIN’
5:42 – NATIONAL DAYS & BIRTHDAYS
10:14 – GUEST INTRODUCTION
11:50 – BACON MAC N CHEESE BURGER
14:04 – HOW MANY HOLES DOES A STRAW HAVE?
17:42 – WHAT’S THE BEST FAKE SONG?
19:48 – GUEST WHICH CELEBRITY HAS BEEN ARRESTED MORE
26:18 – FUNNY GAMERTAGS
30:52 – ARE WE eSPORTS NERDS!?
33:13 – SACRIFICIAL FINGERS
39:14 – THE CORRECT WAY TO WEAR A HEADSET
44:03 – WOULD YOU RATHER?
46:33 – THE CUBE – A THOUGHT EXPERIMENT
47:46 – THE COVID HOG
55:55 – THE TIME-STOPPED ROOM
50:26 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU MADE UP RIGHT NOW, THAT SOUNDS 100% BELIEVABLE
52:40 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S A UNIVERSAL SCAM THAT WE ALL JUST ACCEPT?
55:04 – THE DARK WEB
56:40 – THIS WEEKS POUR CHOICES
1:19:20 – OUTRO

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How’s Our Driving?

HOAs, Goosebumps, and Post-Nut Sinus Relief – It’s For Science! 💩📚🍻

This episode kicks off with a. story of an intense battle between man and bug (because why not set the tone early?) and then dives headfirst into the weirdest, most ridiculous rollercoaster of topics we’ve ever crammed into one episode.

We ask the big questions:
💰 Is Ralph Lauren a real person or just a fashion myth?
🏡 Can you actually own land all the way to the center of the Earth?
🧵 There’s a new seamstress in town… and Chris might be in love. Or maybe it IS Chris…
❄️ Is snow racist? (No context, just vibes.)
🎶 Also, someone sings “Scatman.” You’ve been warned.

From there, we spiral into:
📚 Guessing Goosebumps titles based on the covers – prepare for nostalgia, horror, and some wild guesses.
🤼 Celebrity Deathmatch returns with the most unhinged matchups yet.
🎥 "Explain a film plot poorly" – how to ruin your favorite movies in one sentence or less.

And just when you think it can’t get weirder…
🧬 What would you want to be reincarnated as?
🧠 What do you think about after you masturbate? (You know you’ve wondered.)
🧪 Apparently, orgasms can clear your sinuses? It’s for science. We’re basically doctors.

All that plus this week’s Pour Choices, a $5 billion moral dilemma, HOA nightmares, and some fun facts that sounds completely fake but are somehow true (looking at you, Wyoming escalators).

This one’s packed with facts, filth, and a healthy dose of post-nut philosophy. Buckle up and let’s make some poor choices together. 🍻

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters

00:00 – INTRO
1:20 – INTENSE POOP
3:47 – IS RALPH LAUREN A REAL PERSON?
5:11 – MILLION DOLLAR IDEAS
8:14 – HOA PROBZ
11:37 – BLAST FROM THE PAST
15:10 – $5 BILLION, BUT…
17:04 – DO YOU OWN YOUR LAND TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH?
18:49 – NATIONAL DAYS
20:51 – NEW SEAMSTRESS IN TOWN
26:23 – JIMMY CRACK CORN & HE DON’T CARE
27:43 – IS SNOW RACIST?
28:31 – I’M A SCATMAN!
28:59 – FACTS THAT SEEM FAKE BUT ARE 100% REAL
36:48 – GUESSING COOSEBUMPS TITLES BASED ON THEIR COVERS
47:12 – CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH
55:14 – EXPLAIN A FILM PLOT POORLY
1:01:00 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
1:04:58 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT WOULD YOU WANT TO BE REINCARNATED AS?
1:10:47 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT AFTER YOU MASTURBATE?
1:18:15 – IT’S FOR SCIENCE…
1:20:06 – OUTRO

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How’s Our Driving?

Death Bed Confessions, Harry Potter Pickup Lines, and a RAGING Problem 🦝🧙‍♂️💀

This week on The Poor Choices Show, we go from Tom Brady’s lips to bankrupting a country in less than 6 minutes—and somehow, it all makes sense.

We kick things off with the latest installment of "How Bizarre," where Chris accidentally drops a song lyric on a delivery driver and gets the most unbothered response ever. 

Then we spiral straight into:
🛏️ Death bed confessions (what question would you force your best friend to answer with their last breath?)
🏦 Who would you bankrupt if there were zero consequences? (Let’s just say some companies deserve it.)
🍬 Wait… what flavor are Swedish Fish actually? (Because cherry ain't it.)
🏈 And oh yeah, Tom Brady may or may not have been caught kissing a dude. Do with that what you will.

Then it gets... intense:
😬 Would you rather get a raging erection every time you’re near a child, or scream the N-word when someone says "Obama"?
🦝 Would you rather fight ONE rabid raccoon or 60 completely normal ones? This is peak philosophy.

We also cover:
🧠 Chris's big life changes—quitting drinking, losing weight, growing out his hair... basically, he's trying to not be a walking hangover anymore.
🧙‍♂️ Harry Potter pickup lines (because nothing says "I’m a catch" like “Wanna see my wand?”)
📰 Selective headlines and how 30 people died in a tornado, but Twitter’s still arguing about Trump’s tariffs.
🐶 Chris gets stuck in traffic, only to find out it’s a procession for a military dog. Instant mood swing from road rage to respectful salute.

We also dive into:
💀 Famous people who died on this day, because birthdays were a bust.
🌐 What the hell is the dark web anyway?
🏀 Top 10 athletes since 2000—prepare to be irrationally angry.
🧬 Human 2.0 upgrades—what features should we be installing in the next model?
🪑 Chris’s near-death experience involving a green screen, a swivel chair, and zero grace.

And of course, this week’s Pour Choices (because nothing pairs with near-death like a cold one).

Grab your wand, choose your raccoon-fighting stance, and get ready for the dumbest, most entertaining hour and a half of your week. 🍻

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters

00:00 – INTRO
3:52 – HOW BIZZARE
5:42 – NATIONAL DAYS
10:14 – DEATH BED CONFESSION
11:50 – WHO WOULD YOU BANKRUPT?
14:04 – WHAT FLAVOR ARE SWEDISH FISH?
17:42 – TOM BRADY CAUGHT KISSING A MAN!
19:48 – GUESS WHERE THESE LANDMARKS ARE
26:18 – WOULD YOU RATHER?
30:52 – BIG LIFE CHANGES
33:13 – CHRIS THE CRITIC
39:14 – HARRY POTTER PICKUP LINES
44:03 – SELECTIVE NEWS HEADLINES
46:33 – HAPPY DEATH DAY
47:46 – WHAT’S THE DARK WEB?
50:26 – PODCAST UPDATE
52:40 – THIS WEEKS POUR CHOICES
55:04 – PUPPY PROCESSION
56:40 – TOP 10 ATHLETES SINCE 2000
1:00:42 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S YOUR “I CAN’T BELIEVE OTHER PEOPLE DON’T DO THIS” HACK?
1:10:03 – ASK REDDIT – A HUMAN 2.0 IS BEING RELEASED, WHAT CHANGES/IMPROVEMENTS DO YOU HOPE TO SEE?
1:16:54 – NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE
1:19:20 – OUTRO
1:20:39 – LYNDON B. JOHNSON RAP

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How’s Our Driving?

Godparents, Ozark Pregnancies, and Who The F*** Are The “MDFoodieBoyz”!? 

This week’s episode is a masterclass in first-world problems, poor life choices, and unfiltered stupidity—in other words, business as usual.

We kick it off reflecting on some of the most quick-witted comments we’ve heard before diving into a brutal round of yes or no only questions, where both answers suck and no one wins.

Then it’s a chaos buffet:
🧑‍🍳 MDFoodieBoyz are somehow Maryland’s #1 food podcast and we’re just out here wondering how “bagel toppings” counts as content.
🍼 A dramatic one-night stand in the Ozarks involving cheating, plane-seat eavesdropping, and a surprise pregnancy plot twist.
🌺 David recaps his Hawaii trip, and it turns out paradise isn’t immune to bad service or overpriced drinks.

But wait, there’s more questionable content:
📦 What’s the actual point of godparents?
🧠 What was better than sliced bread…before sliced bread?
🩲 When is the last time your little guy got direct sunlight?
🍔 What dream job would you take if you could do anything? (Spoiler: no one picked "influencer.")
📦 DoorDash fails… again. Because of course it did.

And because this is The Poor Choices Show, we obviously couldn’t end without:
💀 “Bad jokes” that may or may not get us canceled.
💩 Would You Rather scenarios that may or may not involve some of the people from some kind of pride event.
🍆 Ask Reddit: What’s a weird thing your body does, but not weird enough to go to the doctor?
🧠 What’s the dumbest thing someone said to you with absolute confidence? (Prepare for rage.)
🎂 Happy Birthday, Joe. Whoever the hell you are.

Plus, this week’s Pour Choices, where we drink to forget the fact that Chris just now did his taxes.

If you’re looking for mature content, you’re in the wrong place. But if you want to laugh at our pain and poor decisions? You’re home.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters

00:00 – INTRO
1:20 – QUICK WITTED
6:40 – YES OR NO ANSWERS ONLY
10:11 – WHO IS THE CHOSEN ONE?
12:51 – WHAT’S THE MOST NORMAL THING ABOUT YOU?
16:24 – WHAT’S THE POINT OF GODPARENTS?
18:09 – WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
20:23 – NATIONAL NO PANTS DAY
21:33 – BOTHERED BY THE SMALLEST THINGS
25:28 – RECAPPING HAWAII TRIP
34:43 – EVEN MORE DOORDASH WOES
42:49 – ONE NIGHT STAND IN THE OZARKS
47:48 – “PARADISE” ON HULU
50:21 – F*** SEVERANCE!
54:07 – IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB WHAT WOULD IT BE?
57:43 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOE!
1:02:17 – MDFOODIEBOYZ
1:07:14 – CHRIS FINALLY DID HIS TAXES!
1:13:33 – WOULD YOU RATHER?
1:19:40 – BAD JOKES
1:20:54 – NATIONAL DAYS
1:22:42 – THIS WEEKS POUR CHOICES
1:24:43 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT WEIRD THING IS GOING ON WITH YOUR BODY THAT ISN'T WEIRD ENOUGH TO GO TO THE DOCTOR FOR?
1:28:28 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S THE DUMBEST THING YOU’VE EVER HEARD SOMEONE SAY WITH ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE?
1:32:16 – OUTRO

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How’s Our Driving?

Magic Buttons, Toothless Nightmares, and European Lizards Invading Ohio 🦎💀🍻

We’re back with another completely unhinged episode, and this one’s got everything—messed-up dreams, vocal regrets, and the biggest scandals from our high school days.

First up, we tackle the real questions:
🔘 If you had a magic button that did anything you wanted, what would it be? (Some of our answers should probably be illegal.)
🍳 When does a pan officially become a pot? (A debate so dumb, yet so necessary.)
🛌 Do blind people dream? (And if so, how?)

Then, things get weird:
😱 David had a dream where his teeth were falling out—what does it mean?
🦎 Apparently, European lizards are taking over Ohio. (We don’t know why either.)
🖊️ If you had to get a tattoo, what would it be? (Regret is inevitable.)

As if that wasn’t enough:
🎭 Who said it—James Bond or Austin Powers? (Turns out, they're way too similar.)
🏆 Sports Mount Rushmore—who are the four GOATs of these “sports” of all time?
🎂 Celebrity birthdays—Chris has one second to say the first thing that comes to mind.

We also hit some real-life scams, including:
⏳ Why has a "10-minute oil change" NEVER taken 10 minutes?!
🤯 Unexpectedly hilarious responses people have gotten online.

And of course, we wrap it all up with:
🍻 This week’s Pour Choices—aka, what questionable drink are we suffering through this time?
👅 Favorite tongue twisters.
🏫 What was the biggest scandal at your high school? (We probably shouldn't be sharing some of these...)

Another episode filled with terrible takes, questionable humor, and absolutely zero valuable life lessons. Grab a drink and lower your standards—this one's a ride. 🍻

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters

00:00 – INTRO
5:42 – MAGIC BUTTON
9:29 – WHEN DOES A PAN BECOME A POT?
12:15 – DO BLIND PEOPLE DREAM?
16:04 – GETTING TATTED UP!
17:44 – CHRIS’S DREAMS
19:28 – EUROPEAN LIZARDS TAKING OVER OHIO
21:36 – MY TEETH ARE FALLING OUT!?
26:53 – DREAMS AROUND THE WORLD
29:28 – TOP 5 MOST COMMON DREAMS
31:28 – WHO SAID IT – JAMES BOND OR AUSTIN POWERS?
34:20 – NATIONAL MAKE UP YOUR OWN HOLIDAY DAY
37:42 – SPORTS MOUNT RUSHMORE
44:17 – UNEXPECTED RESPONSES
50:24 – 10 MINUTES OR LESS
52:16 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
57:02 – THIS WEEKS POUR CHOICES
1:00:08 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE TONGUE TWISTER?
1:08:37 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT WAS THE BIGGEST SCANDAL AT YOUR HIGH SCHOOL?
1:15:04 – OUTRO

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How’s Our Driving?

Hiding a Giraffe, Blue Junk, and the Great Sandwich Debate 🦒🍞💩

This episode is a perfect mix of absolute stupidity, unnecessary debates, and life’s real questions—like how the hell would you hide a giraffe from the government? (We have some very illegal ideas.)

Then, sh*t gets philosophical:
🥪 If you cut a sandwich in half, do you have two sandwiches or two half sandwiches? (Friendships were almost lost over this one.)
🍩 What would happen if you made a sandwich using donuts? (Spoiler: It’s either genius or heart failure waiting to happen.)
🍪 Crumbl Cookies—are they actually good, or just overpriced sugar bricks?

From there, we spiral into:
🗣️ Chris mispronouncing “Gesundheit” in a way that should be illegal.
🎶 Guess the song—where Chris reads lyrics like a robot and David has to figure out what the hell it is.
📍 Zephyrhills, Florida—where fun goes to die.

And because this podcast has zero boundaries:
💻 David introduces Chris to a website that literally just tells you if your computer is on.
🍆 Chris cleaned his toilet, and now his junk is blue. (Don’t ask. Just listen.)
🚽 Men spending 40 minutes on the toilet—what the f* are we even doing in there?

Finally, we close it out with:
💸 Fast Money—where our brains get put to the test (and fail miserably).
📢 What sound should play every time you orgasm? (This is possibly the worst Ask Reddit question we’ve ever answered.)

And of course, this week’s Pour Choices, because at this point, we drink just to make sense of this show. 🍻

Sit back, crack a beer, and get ready for an hour of chaos, stupidity, and the kind of humor your girlfriend probably hates.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters

00:00 – INTRO
1:04 – DO ROOSTERS LAY EGGS?
5:40 – HOW WOULD YOU HIDE A GIRAFFE?
11:42 – 1 WHOLE SANDWICH OR 2 HALF SANDIWCHES?
13:07 – DONUT SANDWICH
14:31 – AFTER SCHOOL SNACKS
16:47 – CRUMBL COOKIES
18:11 – GESUNDHEIT
20:27 – 16 & PREGNANT
23:29 – SNAPE’S BEEN CASTED!
26:44 – GUESS THE SONG
34:03 – ZEPHYRHILLS, FLORIDA
41:54 – THIS WEEKS POUR CHOICES
46:16 – UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE
48:55 – ISMYCOMPUTERON.COM
51:00 – FAST MONEY
56:42 – ASK REDDIT - WHAT ARE MEN DOING ON THE TOILET
1:04:18 – ASK REDDIT - IF YOU COULD CHOOSE A SOUND THAT PLAYED EVERY TIME YOU N**, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
1:12:18 – OUTRO

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How’s Our Driving?

Getting Arrested, Peeing in Cement, and Drafting the Ultimate Karen 🚔🎨🍌

If you’ve ever wondered what crime your friends think you’d get arrested for, this is the episode for you. We kick things off with Chris trying to guess what felony David would most likely commit, and honestly… some of these are too accurate.

Then, things take a turn:
👮 Chris got pulled over – did he talk his way out of it, or is he recording this from county lockup?
💦 If you were submerged in wet cement up to your waist and it hardened, could you still pee? (This is the kind of scientific research we prioritize.)
🧥 How the f*** do you fix a hoodie drawstring? (Seriously, why is this harder than solving world hunger?)

And because we can’t stay on topic for more than five minutes:
🍌 Chris met the Savannah Bananas – and no, that’s not a weird sex cult, it’s a baseball team.
🎨 Famous painting or toddler scribble? We put our art knowledge (or lack thereof) to the test.
📍 GeoGuessr proves we have no idea where anything is.
🔄 Small world moments that make you rethink reality.

Other highlights include:

• Netflix prices are up again, because of course they are.
• What’s the point of jellyfish? No, really—what do they even do?
• How can you drive for 149 hours across Russia and still be in Russia?!
• The “Karen Draft” – assembling the most insufferable lineup of all time.
• What’s your go-to “struggle meal”? (If you’ve eaten a ketchup sandwich, we see you.)
• If your sex life was a movie, what would the title be? (Prepare for some depressing and/or wildly optimistic answers.)

And of course, this week’s Pour Choices, because at this point, alcohol is the only thing holding this podcast together. 🍻

Buckle up for chaos, dumb questions, and the occasional existential crisis—just another day on the Pour Choices Show.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters

00:00 – INTRO
1:27 – IF I GOT ARRESTED…
3:22 – CHRIS GOT PULLED OVER
9:22 – COULD YOU PEE IN HARDENED CEMENT?
11:08 – PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
14:00 – FIXING DRAWSTRINGS
12:27 – MILLION DOLLAR IDEA
19:33 – HVAC UPDATE
20:37 – SAVANNAH BANANAS
24:00 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY MITT ROMNEY!
27:00– RANDOM THINGS
30:32 – LITTLE PEEPS
31:22 – TAMPA ART FESTIVAL
38:22 – ABSTRACT ART
41:25 – WHO PAINTED IT – FAMOUS ARTIST OR TODDLER?
47:22 – SMALL WORLD, AINT IT?
51:48 – KAREN DRAFT
58:07 – THIS WEEKS POUR CHOICES
59:42 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT IS YOUR GO TO "STRUGGLE" MEAL?
1:04:09 – ASK REDDIT 
– IF A MOVIE WAS MADE ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE, WHAT WOULD THE TITLE BE?1:07:00 – OUTRO

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