Power For Positive Living

What Do I Choose to Leave Behind?   Our personal life legacy is in a constant state of being created by our daily choices made one hour, one day or one month at a time.  While our life choices are open to varied perceptions by others, do I accept responsibility for expressing my own values and beliefs in actively living what is important to me?    When death does eventually arrive, shall I be content with the physical, emotional, social and spiritual choices that will accurately define me and my legacy to others?  If I were able to look backward after my death, would I be pleased with the personal choices that I leave behind for others to remember me?

Learning the skills to appreciate our pets with love and caring is important to many individuals.   For some, the lives of our pets may be as important or more important than the skills and beliefs learned to value the lives of fellow humans.   The presence of life also teaches us that at some point and in some manner there is the arrival of death for humans as well as for pets.   The arrival of death for either brings forth our unique values and beliefs we each have developed during our lives.   Having each of us confront his/her views on death for humans and/or pets provides a significant self-learning opportunity. 

Managing Expectations of Self and Others

Wellness Psychology recognizes that each of us has the power to 'frame' his/her world into the specific perceptions that we choose. We have the personal responsibility for viewing our world along with the power to accept, reject or modify our choices.

We frequently need to ventilate our feelings with others. This process of sharing with another tends to reduce the emotional pressures we feel with the frustrations of life. Seeking information about options different than receiving advice can be helpful.

Expectations change. Do we choose the power to accept, reject or modify them? Do we choose the 'victim' roles and seek to blame others for our own choices? Are we willing to explore the reasons we offer for our choices versus the challenges of finding the 'real' reasons we have for framing our world and the resultant choices?

Presence: Best Gift for Human Connection

Our in-person presence can often be the most valuable and useful gift that we have to give to others as we build and maintain our human connections.   The emotionally healthy person recognizes the presence or absence of other humans can significantly affect one's mental health.   Each of us comes into life with the need to have some type and degree of relating and connections with other humans.  Regardless of age, gender, geography, social group, etc., this need for some level of social connection is practically universal.    Learning and understanding the various roles of being present for another is a significant gift to connecting and supporting our relationship with them.

One + One = One or Two?   Inherent in our relationships is that the participants have a set of assumptions and expectations for themselves as well as for the other person.  Whether in marriage or friendship we rely on these assumptions and expectations to healthfully maximize the connection we have with each other.    We have choices in our degree of connection such as whether our relationship emphasizes remaining two separate entities or whether we prefer the tighter connection of blending into one entity such as some marriages, families and friendships strive to do.   Our challenge can be to the degree that both of the individuals see this type of assumption and expectation as being compatible for daily living. 

Invisible Pain

Finding a healthy balance to the joys and pains of living life is a continual process for most of us.  What is hurtful and painful to one person may or may not be the same for another or it may require a different degree to register.  We can often better understand and choose our responses to physical pain like a broken arm, cancer, strokes, etc.    Depression comes in many forms and degrees; it frequently appears to be invisible in the people around us.  Not understanding the diverse dynamics of depression or lacking the best vocabulary to convey the personal presence of depression, many in our society may choose to conceal their confused feelings and thoughts.  Concealment also prevents one from hearing useless phrases like get happy or advice like 'go and be around lots of people'.   Pain is pain whether it is visible to ourselves and others or whether it remains internal and invisible except to the most astute.  Recognizing the presence of invisible pain like depression allows us to decide on our personal responses to offer healthy and beneficial support. 

Life Risk Choices   Wellness Psychology encourages us to accept that our choice to live life is accepting that this decision comes with some type and degree of risk.  Living life is risky; each of us retains the option on how we manage these risks.  Most of us conclude that the only completely risk-free path is when we die.  We choose to accept risk when we take ownership of our life and do not give our power of making personal choices to others.  

Framing My Gift of Life   The personal power that we each have to frame our gift of life is truly awesome!  While there are some aspects of this gift for which we have no control, there are so many others where we do get to make individual choices to make the most of this gift that we have been given.    A thought that may be of value for each of us to ponder in deciding the daily direction we choose to point our viewpoints for living:  I cannot change the beginning of my life.  I can begin today to determine how it will be at the end.

Can I Help Others With Their Needs, Not Mine?

Your host pays a repeat visit to "Hello Henry" on WBT, AM 1110, in Charlotte, NC, before his move to the Atlanta area in Georgia.   

This conversation with Henry Bogan is primarily responding to individuals who call into the radio station to share their questions about relationships with others.   One question encourages a person to ponder their own reasons and needs when they plan to 'help' others who have declined an offer of assistance.    It is often difficult to effectively and positively relate with others until we have learned to relate healthfully with ourselves. 

As is frequently the point within wellness psychology, the challenge remains for each of us to learn from one's own inner voices (values, beliefs, experiences, etc.) rather than rely so heavily on the what others tell us is the 'best' for us on how to think, feel and behave as we choose how to live life.    

Same Messages, Different Words   Most of us wish to communicate effectively with others.  To accomplish this goal, we often use the same core of our beliefs, values, attitudes, and experiences.    Like an artist who can convey artistic viewpoints using different mediums or a pastor who chooses to focus on varied aspects of his/her faith, a psychologist will use his knowledge and experiences within a certain framework/philosophy to assist others with making healthy life choices.   Wellness Psychology is the framework of choice for this Power for Positive Living and Friendship podcast series.   This psychologist, like the artist and pastor, conveys the same message on the power of personal choice in different podcasts while choosing to focus on Wellness Psychology using a variety of words.   The power of the listener to decide what role these messages/words will play in living his/her gift of life remains an individual choice.