Practicing Failure with Dr. Amanda Cassil

About My Guest

Dr. Heather Clinkenbeard (she/her) is a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in helping people navigate the messy realities of compulsive sexual behavior, infidelity, professional impairment, and relational wounding. With advanced training from one of the nation’s leading treatment centers for sex addiction, she brings both expertise and a refreshingly honest and compassionate voice to the work of healing.

You can find her on Psychology Today.

In This Episode

Dr. Clinkenbeard and I discuss how sex can be used as a way to avoid difficult or uncomfortable emotions. We look at how compulsive sexual behavior is similar and also different from other addictive behaviors. Dr. Clinkenbeard compassionately walks us through how early life experiences including trauma, shame-based discipline, and mixed messages around sexuality and sexual behavior can all inform one's relationship to sex.

We later explore how infidelity in relationships ruptures not only the partner's trust in the individual, but also the individual's trust in themselves. Rebuilding trust and finding a path to repair is a long and difficult journey and Dr. Clinkenbeard explores when it might be the right journey for a couple and when it may be time to step away from the relationship. She compassionately identifies ways that it is painful, and even burdensome, for the partner who did not engage in infidelity and what the benefits and challenges are of engaging that process toward repair.

A highlight from the episode is Dr. Clinkenbeard's discussion of "ingredients for growth," including: self-compassion, a willingness to get messy, hope, and honesty. Dr. Clinkenbeard is well-versed in walking through the mess with individuals and couples and toward the light of hope, repair, and healing--a process that looks different for everyone.

Finally, Dr. Clinkenbeard shares a vulnerable and compelling personal story about how she came to work with this specialty.

About My Guest

Shin Ock, PhD is a clinical psychologist and founder of Ezar Psychology, a practice specializing in providing actionable and values-guided mental healthcare for physicians and high-achieving professionals, whom she calls "exhausted exemplars." She practices in Massachusetts, Maryland, Washington DC, Virginia, and all PSYPACT-authorized states.

You can find Dr. Ock on her website at www.ezarpsychology.com.

In This Episode

Dr. Ock and I discuss the unique strengths held by people who pursue physician careers, such as not running away from stress and anxiety. We explore how this career can bring challenge and overwhelm as they navigate complex and demanding environments. Dr. Ock shares her insights around how our weaknesses are often "our strengths misapplied" and that performance improvement plans at work may be better understood as a sign that someone is struggling and needs support.

Experiencing failure as a physician can carry significant consequences. Combine this with rigid and demanding learning environments and many physicians end up significantly burned out, overwhelmed, or disconnected because the burden is so high. Dr. Ock discusses ways we can bring compassion and boundaries into demanding careers, adjust our expectations, and build a life that is in alignment with our values.

Finally, Dr. Ock shares one of her own experiences from graduate school that helped her refine her identity as a clinician and her sense of purpose in her career.

About My Guest

Dr. Jon Reeves is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in therapy for professionals, students, and those grappling with climate anxiety. With a PhD in clinical psychology and advanced training from Boston College and the Boston Psychoanalytic Society and Institute, Dr. Reeves blends psychodynamic, attachment-based, and existential approaches to help clients navigate anxiety, depression, and relationship challenges. He is also the owner of Forefront Psychology and serves as the Washington State regional coordinator for the Climate Psychology Alliance. Licensed in Washington and Massachusetts, he offers teletherapy across PsyPact states.

You can find Dr. Reeves on his website at www.forefrontpsychology.com or follow him @forefrontpsych on Instagram.

In This Episode

Dr. Reeves and I discuss the poly crisis of climate change and resulting anxiety. This undercurrent of stress can have direct and indirect negative impacts on physical and mental health. We explore whether we are engaging in helpful distraction or anxiety-promoting avoidance behaviors, anxiety as a useful signal to act, and finding ways to manage burnout as we face climate crisis after climate crisis.

Later in the episode, we reflect on the broader discourse regarding masculinity and ways that rigid definitions may hinder health. Dr. Reeves highlights the importance of finding purpose and meaning, social connection, and self-awareness as men navigate a polarized society. We also unpack why it can be constructive to maintain empathy for people in higher levels of power, as difficult and frustrating as it can be.

Dr. Reeves additionally shares key lessons he learned in graduate school that shifted his perspective on failure and growth. This was a rewarding episode to record and I am thankful for Dr. Reeves' insights into managing despair, finding hope, building meaning, and embracing failure.

Resources Referenced

Generation Dread by Britt Wray

Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

Practicing Failure with Dr. Amanda Cassil is a relaxed, uplifting conversational interview with mental health providers where mistakes are celebrated, and we explore how failures help us grow. Subscribe today on your favorite podcast platform!