Precarious

I'm inviting you into a very personal and intimate experience. I am releasing my most recent counseling session that I had with Dr. BJ Miller, Palliative Care Specialist and Founder of Mettle Health. BJ Miller was actually one of my first guests on the Precarious Podcast. Little did I know that only a few months later, I'd hear those dread words, "Cancer is back". I reached out to him immediately and haven't looked back. What you will hear is an unedited glimpse into my current experiences of living with advanced cancer - my fears, my struggles, my hopes and my desires and how BJ helps me walk this tightrope. Come, be a fly on the wall. It's a rare opportunity to be invited into such a sacred space.

Here's Part 2 of my conversation with Joe. We talk about playing it safe versus taking risks with our hearts. We ask the question, "Do we have to experience pain first hand in order to learn and grow?". And, my 20-something year old cat, Buster, makes an appearance!

I love talking with Joe. So, here we are again! This is a two-part conversation. In Part 1, Joe and I talk about how hard these past few months have been. For me it's finishing 6 months of intensive chemotherapy. For Joe, it's wrestling with his work, passion and purpose. We talk about going through hard stuff again (and again) and how to make sense of it when maybe it just doesn't make sense. We talk about how to let ourselves celebrate getting to the other side and why that seems so hard to do. Mostly, we connect on what it means to be human.

Jim Dunlap is living with multiple neurological disorders which even his doctors don't completely understand. To say his life has changed as a result is an understatement. He once worked in a highly successful real estate career and directed a national pro cycling team. He has said good-bye to those things that once identified him. I can relate. I loved talking with Jim. We talked about facing our deaths, learning from our pain and embracing humility vs humiliation. And, we laughed in spite of it all.

Wow - I turned 55! Living with advanced cancer means living to the next birthday is not a guarantee. I am in awe of this beautiful and terrible thing called life. I am grateful for my broken down, tired body. I know I am living on borrowed time and I am even grateful for that knowing. My life is so much richer. This makes me a wealthy person. In fact, I am the luckiest person I know.

I love my job. As a mental health professional, it's an honor and a privilege to sit with people as they work through some of their hardest moments. In this episode, I talk with one of my current clients about what brought her into therapy and what she is learning about herself. I invite you to listen to this revealing conversation between therapist and client. It's raw, revealing, painful and hopeful.

I just completed over six months of intensive weekly chemotherapy. I'm relieved, sad and terrified all at once. I've been here before. Living with advanced cancer, means living with uncertainty. This experience is the epitome of the precariousness of life. I miss making plans. Because I can't count on tomorrow, this experience forces me to live in the moment. And, there is so much beauty if you take the time to notice.

Kate Weaver was fairly new into her career as a Clinical Dietician when she found herself on the frontlines of providing care during the height of the Pandemic. Like so many frontline workers, she found herself overwhelmed and feeling helpless. What she didn't realize at the time was the toll this was taking on her mental health. This is her story of survival and healing from trauma. It's a story of hope and resilience.

Want to know what it's like to be inside my mind as I wrestle with life and death and everything in between? Here's your chance! I'm giving you a snapshot of what goes on in my head on a recent "cancer day". Think of it as reading the thought bubbles floating above comic strip characters. I'm sharing my thought bubbles with you. I'm inviting you in to a sacred and private part of me. I hope by example that you will let others see your thought bubbles too. I bet if we did this more often, our collective empathy towards each other would grow exponentially. And, that's never a bad thing.

I like catching up with Joe. I respect and admire his openness about struggling with depression. And, his love and care for me and what I am going through with cancer is tangible. In this episode, we talk about getting hijacked by our emotions and how we try to challenge the stories our minds tell us. When life feels like a storm swirling around us, how do we find stillness? How do we not let these very real, very hard events determine our fate? Dictate our well-being?