Primetime Crimetime

🔥 This week’s episode was recorded with Richard in the middle of the California wildfires that turned the sky of San Francisco red, only to be topped by a heatwave. If he sounds like he’s in a 100 degree closet with a bowl of ice water soaking a towel to put on his head… he was. Just pretend the tinkling ice and mildly muffled sound was for less apocalyptic reasons, baby! 🔥

Hang out with us as Zoë and Richard recap Kojak season 2, episode 12, “The Best War In Town” with actor and screenwriter, special guest Ben Livingston. Watch as a series of bland, indescribable gangsters try to kill other bland, indescribable gangsters for control of someplace! That is, until Kojak gets involved with his tough, no-nonsense, Hellenic street wisdom and works tirelessly to save the gangsters who murder, sell drugs, and run prostitutes. But hey, better the psychopaths you know, right?-- 

Finally, this episode was not sponsored by Tootsie Pops, even though you know you want one...

OCT 13: Matt Houston, S1 E13 “The Purrfect Crime”

OCT 27: Starsky and Hutch, S1 E5 “The Fix”

OCT 31: CHiPs, S2 E6, “Trick or Trick” 

NOV 3: Charlie’s Angels, S1 E16 “Angels on a String”

NOV 17: Tequila and Bonetti, S1 E6 “Wonderdog”

DEC 1: Barnaby Jones, S8 E22, “The Killin Cousin

DEC 15: Cagney and Lacey, S7 E7 “Greed”

DEC 29: Hardcastle and McCormick, S3 E1, “She Ain’t Deep But She Sure Runs Fast” 

JAN 12: Police Woman, S1 E11, “Smack” 

JAN 26: Ellery Queen, S1 E8, “The Adventure of the Mad Tea Party”

FEB 9: Mannix, S2 E19, “End Game” 

FEB 23: McMillan and Wife, S5 E3, “Aftershock”

MAR 9: The Rockford Files, S2 E14, “The Hammer of C Block”

MAR 23: Remington Steele, S4 E6 “Corn Fed Steele”

Follow us on social media for screenshots and GIFs, because you have to see it to believe it. 

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Twitter: @BookemCrimetime

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Just your typical end of the Cold War-era spy shenanigans when a United States spy agency (that shall remain nameless) enlists the aid of a middle-aged divorced mother to prevent the scourge of communism from spreading. This week Zoë, Richard, and special guest Danny, watch in confusion as Scarecrow and Mrs. King embark on a wedding cruise to find a missing friend and thwart illegal funding for a revolution. Listen as we say “I do! … not understand some of the decisions made by the creative team of this show” while strange accents appear and disappear, endless, suspicious glances are made for no reason, and some of the worst spycraft we’ve ever seen take to the high seas in “Ship of Spies.”

SEPT 22: Kojak, S2 E12 “The Best War in Town”

OCT 6: Matt Houston, S1 E13 “The Purrfect Crime”

OCT 20: Starsky and Hutch, S1 E5 “The Fix”

OCT 27: Remington Steele, S4 E6 “Corn Fed Steele”

OCT 31: CHiPs, S2 E6, “Trick or Trick” 

NOV 3: Charlie’s Angels, S1 E16 “Angels on a String”

NOV 17: Tequila and Bonetti, S1 E6 “Wonderdog”

DEC 1: Barnaby Jones, S8 E22, “The Killin Cousin

DEC 15: Cagney and Lacey, S7 E7 “Greed”

DEC 29: Hardcastle and McCormick, S3 E1, “She Ain’t Deep But She Sure Runs Fast” 

JAN 12: Police Woman, S1 E11, “Smack” 

JAN 26: Ellery Queen, S1 E8, “The Adventure of the Mad Tea Party”

FEB 9: Mannix, S2 E19, “End Game” 

FEB 23: McMillan and Wife, S5 E3, “Aftershock”

MAR 9: The Rockford Files, S2 E14, “The Hammer of C Block”

Follow us on social media for screenshots and GIFs, because you have to see it to believe it. 

Instagram: @BookemCrimetime

Twitter: @BookemCrimetime

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Primetime Crimetime reviews the first ALL CAPS crime show! It’s a no-holds-barred emotional rollercoaster of fun as we enter the screamatorium of Quincy, M.E. Employee in the medical examiner’s office who makes a small mistake? You just ordered a single scoop of I scream (at you). District Attorney just trying to do their job? Sorry, pal, you just purchased a one-way ticket to Hollerville. Civil servant just following procedure? Not on Quincy’s watch! 

This week we dissect his addiction to rage, and examine how on earth he also has time to badger potential witnesses, hector the California Board of Medical Quality Assurance, and fill out the proper forms in TRIPLICATE. Tune in to the anger machine that is Season 4, Episode 13, “The Depth of Beauty.” 

Want to know what’s coming up? We drop episodes every other Tuesday!

SEPT 8: Scarecrow and Mrs. King, S2 E12 “Ship of Spies”

SEPT 22: Kojak, S2 E12 “The Best War in Town”

OCT 6: Matt Houston, S1 E13 “The Purrfect Crime”

OCT 20: Starsky and Hutch, S1 E5 “The Fix”

OCT 27: Remington Steele, S4 E6 “Corn Fed Steele”

OCT 31: CHiPs, S2 E6, “Trick or Trick” 

NOV 3: Charlie’s Angels, S1 E16 “Angels on a String”

NOV 17: Tequila and Bonetti, S1 E6 “Wonderdog”

DEC 1: Barnaby Jones, S8 E22, “The Killin Cousin

DEC 15: Cagney and Lacey, S7 E7 “Greed”

DEC 29: Hardcastle and McCormick, S3 E1, “She Ain’t Deep But She Sure Runs Fast” 

JAN 12: Police Woman, S1 E11, “Smack” 

JAN 26: Ellery Queen, S1 E8, “The Adventure of the Mad Tea Party”

FEB 9: Mannix, S2 E19, “End Game” 

FEB 23: McMillan and Wife, S5 E3, “Aftershock”

MAR 9: The Rockford Files, S2 E14, “The Hammer of C Block”

Follow us on social media for screenshots and GIFs, because you have to see it to believe it. 

Instagram: @BookemCrimetime

Twitter: @BookemCrimetime

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Patreon: @PrimetimeCrimetime

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It’s a cavalcade of errors this week, y’all. Zoë moved spontaneously, and the Quincy episode audio we recorded…sounds like it was recorded on a Hi-Fi turntable on a houseboat, and we want better for you. So please accept this mini-ep as a down payment. Also! We take the Express Train through Castigation Station on a Simon & Simon detail we missed because they hid it on an obscure resource called Wikipedia? 

You’re the best, we’re the worst, and we appreciate the extra time. We’ll see you back here next week!

Want to know what’s coming up? We drop episodes every other Tuesday!

AUGUST 25: Quincy M.E., S4 E13 “The Depth of Beauty”

SEPT 1: Scarecrow and Mrs. King, S2 E12 “Ship of Spies”

SEPT 14: Kojak, S2 E12 “The Best War in Town”

SEPT 29: Matt Houston, S1 E13 “The Purrfect Crime”

OCT 13: Starsky and Hutch, S1 E5 “The Fix”

OCT 20: Remington Steele, S4 E6 “Corn Fed Steele”

OCT 31: CHiPs, S2 E6, “Trick or Trick” 

NOV 3: Charlie’s Angels, S1 E16 “Angels on a String”

NOV 17: Tequila and Bonetti, S1 E6 “Wonderdog”

DEC 1: Barnaby Jones S8 E22, “The Killin Cousin

DEC 15: Cagney and Lacey, S7 E7 “Greed”

Follow us on social media for screenshots and GIFs, because you have to see it to believe it. 

Instagram: @BookemCrimetime

Twitter: @BookemCrimetime

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Patreon: @PrimetimeCrimetime

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Saddle up! This week Zoë and Richard lasso the very first episode of a show that’s titled with the same name twice and yet is so confusing it’s almost hard to follow it long enough count how many ways it’s offensive. 

So what does happen when you take two brothers with a traumatized childhood, add in some boundary issues, and give them licenses as private detectives? That’s not a riddle, that’s something they put on television, and we do a play-by-play description of their bizarre relationship to sibling voyeurism, casual ignorance of the AIDS crisis, and their empathetic and sensitive portrayal of Mexican culture.

Oh, they also solve a crime in there while putting innocent people’s lives at risk in a library.

AND THE DEWEY DECIMAL SYSTEM. It’s all at risk in this episode of Simon & Simon. 

Want to know what’s coming up? We drop episodes every other Tuesday!

AUGUST 17: Quincy M.E., S4 E13 “The Depth of Beauty”

SEPT 1: Scarecrow and Mrs. King, S2 E12 “Ship of Spies”

SEPT 14: Kojak, S2 E12 “The Best War in Town”

SEPT 29: Matt Houston, S1 E13 “The Purrfect Crime”

OCT 13: Starsky and Hutch, S1 E5 “The Fix”

OCT 20: Remington Steele, S4 E6 “Corn Fed Steele”

OCT 31: CHiPs, S2 E6, “Trick or Trick” 

NOV 3: Charlie’s Angels, S1 E16 “Angels on a String”

NOV 17: Tequila and Bonetti, S1 E6 “Wonderdog”

DEC 1: Barnaby Jones S8 E22, “The Killin Cousin

DEC 15: Cagney and Lacey, S7 E7 “Greed”

Follow us on social media for screenshots and GIFs, because you have to see it to believe it. 

Instagram: @BookemCrimetime

Twitter: @BookemCrimetime

Support the show and get more content!

Patreon: @PrimetimeCrimetime

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/primetimecrimetime)

Support the show

Grab a sandwich and join us for our entrée into Cannon with the bananas, “Memo From a Dead Man.” 

This week Zoë and Richard feast on this juicy, juicy ep, where Cannon is paid by a dead man to investigate his own death and that’s the least weird part of this 5-course episode. Listen in as we cover all of the suppressed women’s sexuality, sandwich seduction, and quite possibly the inspiration for Brokeback Mountain, all while Cannon is horrifyingly fat-shamed by every single character he speaks to. So pull up a chair, tuck in your napkin, and let’s dig in to this deliciously bizarre show breakdown.

Also! We visit Castigation Station and reveal the piece of trivia Zoë missed last episode…

Want to know what’s coming up? We drop episodes every other Tuesday!

AUGUST 17: Quincy M.E., S4 E13 “The Depth of Beauty”

SEPT 1: Scarecrow and Mrs. King, S2 E12 “Ship of Spies”

SEPT 14: Kojak, S2 E12 “The Best War in Town”

SEPT 29: Matt Houston, S1 E13 “The Purrfect Crime”

OCT 13: Starsky and Hutch, S1 E5 “The Fix”

OCT 20: Remington Steele, S4 E6 “Corn Fed Steele”

OCT 31: CHiPs, S2 E6, “Trick or Trick” 

NOV 3: Charlie’s Angels, S1 E16 “Angels on a String”

NOV 17: Tequila and Bonetti, S1 E6 “Wonderdog”

DEC 1: Barnaby Jones S8 E22, “The Killin Cousin

DEC 15: Cagney and Lacey, S7 E7 “Greed”

Follow us on social media for screenshots and GIFs, because you have to see it to believe it. 

Instagram: @BookemCrimetime

Twitter: @BookemCrimetime

Support the show and get more content!

Patreon: @PrimetimeCrimetime

Support the show

We're back with all of the shoe-leathery detective bits from the second half of the iconic episode, "Swan Song." Come with us to the Crusade for Lost Souls, learn how to pack a parachute, and do some square yardage conversions!

And YOU GUYS. There's an unintentional mystery for you to solve in this episode. Zoë blew it. There was a piece of research, of crucial trivia, A CLUE right here in "Swan Song" that she just left on the airport-metal-detector tray like so many rental car keys. What gorgeous piece of insight did she miss? Listen. Solve it. Or come back next episode for Crimetime Confessions, and find out what has been keeping her up at night ever since... 

Want to know what’s coming up? We drop episodes every other Tuesday!

JULY 21: Cannon, S3 E3, “Memo From a Dead Man”

AUGUST 3: Simon & Simon, S1 E1 “Details at Eleven” 

AUGUST 17: Quincy M.E., S4 E13 “The Depth of Beauty”

SEPT 1: Scarecrow and Mrs. King, S2 E12 “Ship of Spies”

SEPT 14: Kojak, S2 E12 “The Best War in Town”

SEPT 29: Matt Houston, S1 E13 “The Purrfect Crime”

OCT 13: Starsky and Hutch, S1 E5 “The Fix”

OCT 20: Remington Steele, S4 E6 “Corn Fed Steele”

OCT 31: CHiPs, S2 E6, “Trick or Trick” 

NOV 3: Charlie’s Angels, S1 E16 “Angels on a String”

NOV 17: Tequila and Bonetti, S1 E6 “Wonderdog”

DEC 1: Barnaby Jones S8 E22, “The Killin Cousin

DEC 15: Cagney and Lacey, S7 E7 “Greed”

Follow us on social media for screenshots and GIFs, because you have to see it to believe it. 

Instagram: @BookemCrimetime

Twitter: @BookemCrimetime

Support the show and get more content!

Patreon: @PrimetimeCrimetime

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/primetimecrimetime)

Support the show

There is no, “One more thing,” there is only THE THING, and that’s that Columbo is a precious treasure and gem of our time. Grab your thermoses and undersized parachutes boys, this one is D.B. Cooper fan fiction with Johnny Cash starring basically as himself. 

This week Zoë and Richard shine a light on one of their favorite episodes starring Johnny Cash as a gospel singer who uses an entire plane to kill two people. We discuss the hard-hitting issues of this investigation including statutory rape, plane safety procedures, and of course Johnny Cash singing! Oh, just one more thing, for the first time in his career, Columbo thinks he’s been bested until he finds the key to the entire mystery.

Want to know what’s coming up? We drop episodes every other Tuesday!

JULY 7: Columbo, S3 E7, “Swan Song” (Part 2)

JULY 21: Cannon, S3 E3, “Memo From a Dead Man”

AUGUST 3: Simon & Simon, S1 E1 “Details at Eleven” 

AUGUST 17: Quincy M.E., S4 E13 “The Depth of Beauty”

SEPT 1: Scarecrow and Mrs. King, S2 E12 “Ship of Spies”

SEPT 14: Kojak, S2 E12 “The Best War in Town”

SEPT 29: Matt Houston, S1 E13 “The Purrfect Crime”

OCT 13: Starsky and Hutch, S1 E5 “The Fix”

OCT 20: Remington Steele, S4 E6 “Corn Fed Steele”

OCT 31: CHiPs, S2 E6, “Trick or Trick” 

NOV 3: Charlie’s Angels, S1 E16 “Angels on a String”

NOV 17: Tequila and Bonetti, S1 E6 “Wonderdog”

DEC 1: Barnaby Jones S8 E22, “The Killin Cousin

DEC 15: Cagney and Lacey, S7 E7 “Greed”

Follow us on social media for screenshots and GIFs, because you have to see it to believe it. 

Instagram: @BookemCrimetime

Twitter: @BookemCrimetime

Support the show and get more content!

Patreon: @PrimetimeCrimetime

Support the show

Did you know “Mahalo,” means “Christopher Walken makes playing a sailor look just as deliciously bonkers as you’d think!”? This episode, we head to the islands, and find out which one of us conflated “Hawaii Five-O” and “Magnum P.I.” until 51 minutes ago. 

One of the longest-running procedural crime dramas is being served at this luau with heapings of local characters and iconic, sweeping hair. This episode is one of the weirdest as it takes on issues of race, naval justice, and Christopher Walken at his Walkenest who plays a man out for vengeance against the man who killed the man who married the woman of his dreams. Christopher Walken in a show about someone dying in a love triangle? Weird. Zoë and Richard talk about naval authenticity, Jack Lord lore, and something we like to call a cross ex-HAM-ination.

Follow us on social media for screenshots and GIFs, because you have to see it to believe it.

Instagram: @BookemCrimetime
Twitter: @BookemCrimetime

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Patreon: @PrimetimeCrimetime

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It’s the first episode of the husband and wife derring-do caper soap, “Hart to Hart!” Did you know your whole murder plot can unravel just because you used the word, “‘Frisco?” 

From the mutated DNA strain of Nick and Nora Charles, comes the hyper-sexualized, feather-haired, crime-fighting couple, Jonathan and Jennifer Hart. Listen in as we break down everything in this murder-for-hire-out-of-a-pet-store episode as Jennifer Hart is the target of a hit because Jonathan is about to uncover a huge scandal at the shipping yard. If that doesn’t make sense, don’t worry, because no one really investigates that plot after it’s introduced. From Jennifer’s apparent misapprehension on how to carry a briefcase to the hitman’s byzantine and convoluted plan to murder Jennifer … by moving in with them. You’ll get every plot twist and turn when Richard and Zoë break it all down in this heart-pounding episode of Primetime Crimetime!

Follow us on social media for screenshots and GIFs, because you have to see it to believe it.

Instagram: @BookemCrimetime
Twitter: @BookemCrimetime

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Patreon: @PrimetimeCrimetime

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