Proactive Parenting with Deanna Marie Mason PhD

Okay, so today’s topic, spanking, may be a sensitive one for you based on your beliefs and ideas about parenting. Believe me, you’re not alone. Whether you are on the side of spanking or not, about 20% of parents admit to using physical punishment such as spanking or swatting as part of disciplining their children. Let me clarify, this is the percentage of parents who admit doing it. From what I see in my practice, it may be more common than that statistic lets on. However, among those that admit to spanking, interestingly, most also report not feeling very good about doing it. 

Why would the parenting world be so divided on this issue. It’s probably because nearly all parents report that parenting is their greatest joy and, simultaneously, nearly three-quarters also describe parenting as their greatest challenge. So almost all parents find joy in the task of being a parent, but nearly 75% also say it’s a big job that is hard to do. It only makes sense that parents who are frustrated or feeling challenged would consider using spanking as a way of managing their children’s behavior - it may have been used by the

Today’s episode stems from a question I received from a listener. A first-time mom of a 4-month-old infant asked me if I knew any science-based tips to help them manage air travel with an infant. She said she had traveled often for work and was frequently surprised that parents couldn’t seem to control their infants on flights. Now that she was a mother, she better understood that no one can control babies. But, she hoped that there were some suggestions on how to help parents and babies manage flights with less stress. 
As we know, modern life often requires plane travel for families. As this listener shared, frequent travelers know the dread when a flight is full of infants or small children. And, anyone who flies with any regularity has a story of a flight that was filled with continuous ear piercing screams of an infant or small child. 

This awareness can be horrifying for parents when they must fly with their infant or small children. Luckily, some basic information and a good dose of humor will help most parents navigate air travel with infants and small children successfully. I assure you, there is no need to feel overwhelmed or shamed. All you need is the right information to help make everything easier. 

Have you ever wondered if there is an easy way to boost your child’s brainpower and make him or her smarter? Luckily, the research shows that one simple, practically free, activity can help your child use his or her brain more effectively. 

Most parents know that reading to children can have an important affect on how early kiddos learn to read independently and how well they perform in school. Reading to children from birth onwards has always been linked to better learning outcomes. However, current research shows how reading stimulates the brain and creates this change. MRI studies confirm that reading stimulates the brain to improve the way it creates meaning from language. Even more interesting is that these brain changes, from being read to, leads to improved reading skills and advanced language development. 

A great thing about our kiddos getting older is that our children become exposed to many different ways of being a family. At school they mix with children from other backgrounds, other types of families, and learn that there are many different ways of being a family. This makes them tolerant, accepting, and more open, which are fabulous traits for their futures. Yet, many times our children may seek out friends who appear to be similar to them, such as speak the same language natively, look similar to them, or play the same sport. When external characteristics become the defining traits to start friendships, the more important characteristics such as honesty, compassion, or fairness may be forgotten. 

As a parent, this can mean that, at times, our child has invited over a friend that does not fit our ideal image of who we want our child playing with. The children may speak the same language or play the same sport, but the children are worlds apart in terms of upbringing, values, and norms of behavior. The situation may be even more complex if the problematic friend is the son or daughter of a colleague or someone seen frequently at school events or activities. 

It seems today that we are constantly consuming media messaging that is meant to make us feel like we are somehow behind or lacking what others have. This phenomenon has not skipped parenting. There are parenting influencers showing us an edited, stylized version of what their families are like. Please know I am not judging what other do or how they make a living. What I am pointing out is that it has never been so easy to peek into other people’s lives and use that information as a mirror in which to judge our own capacity, ability, or success. 

In it’s lightest, breeziest form, TikToks, Instagram reels, and Facebook videos allow parents to see the similarities between our experiences. It creates a sense of connection that binds us in our shared lived experience trying to raise children in a certain time in history. That is a good thing. Especially for parents who are otherwise isolated - such as parents of babies or small children or parents of children with special needs. 

However, it’s important to give light to the darker side of this trend. Not all parenting content creators are completely transparent or honest. There are some questionable creators that are performative. They act out the role of mother or father but are actually wrapped up in their own experience rather than caring for their child. The child becomes an object or prop in which to show how wonderful the parent is. 

Today we’re going to talk about getting little ones to eat, but not too much, and the right things. There are so many theories about how to get our kiddos to eat veggies, fruits, fish, beans, but the answer to how to get kids to eat healthy foods is really naturally built into them. All we have to do as parents is to let the natural process do it’s thing. And what is that natural process? Simply put, it’s hunger. 

Today’s topic is a hot-button one and I know I am going to get a lot of feedback from listeners. Yet, the research and scientific evidence is imploring me to cover this topic again because it is really important to your child’s health and well-being. Yep, I’m talking about the importance of free play 

Just about every parent I have worked with for the last 10 years has had a love-hate relationship with screens and their children. Almost all the parents I work with know that too much screen time is not a good thing. And almost all of them feel guilty about how much time their kiddos are in front of screens while simultaneously feeling that screens are necessary to calm, soothe, distract, and manage children today. Those are a lot of emotions to have about a tool that is meant to improve our lives. 

So let’s take a look at what the research is telling us and try to find that equilibrium that meets the needs of the modern family while simultaneously supporting the proper growth and development of our little ones with free play. 

Recently, while reading my pediatric professional journals, I came across an interesting article. The article was about helping parents understand food trends and decipher food labels to make truly healthy choices for their toddlers. While the paper was focused on very young children, the information they shared is really applicable to children and teens of all ages. For this reason, I thought I would use this article as a basis for todays show. 

Understanding nutrition is not as easy as it may appear. Everyday on commercials, on television, on Instagram, on Facebook, on the radio, just about everywhere, we hear nutrition information about calories, fat, sugar, carbohydrates, macros, eating for your body type, veganism, vegetarianism, keto, intermittent fasting, etc., etc., etc. Everyone seems to be an expert and has cracked the code on how to eat well and stay lean. Yet, obesity rates continue to climb, especially in our youth population. Diseases related to poor nutrition are claiming more lives every year. And people are feeling less and less confident about how to manage their own diet and nutrition within the constraints of modern life. Then, adding the responsibility of choosing meals and snacks for our little ones can feel overwhelming. 

So, let’s start talking about how to navigate food trends and food labels to make sound, scientifically based decisions for your modern family while providing the best nutrition for your kiddos. 

Today I want to talk about that sweetest of age, the early school age years. Depending on where you are listening from, school may start for your little one at age 3, as in Western Europe, or age 5-6, as is common in the Americas. Regardless of where and when your kidlet is attending school, you can take advantage of the power of routines to help at home and at school. 

These years of early education are a remarkable time of transition for your child. Your little one will move from completely focusing on themselves to engaging with other children and adults. This is a huge opportunity for you, as a parent, to use this natural developmental stage to guide them towards behaviors that will help them understand their place in the larger context of the family, other children, and be in the classroom. 

The key to guiding your child successfully during this stage is to set up an environment that supports this growing confidence to maximize their new skills and abilities while keeping them safe and avoiding accidental parenting. The best and easiest way to do this is by having clear, age-appropriate limits to protect their safety and building family routines so everyone can participate and feel good about being independent and successful contributing to family unit. 

It’s hard to be a parent these days. There seems to be so much information out there in formats that are easily accessible, but try to remember that all the information you may see or read online is not what it appears to be. As a community, we need to start looking at what is happening and how we can help our kiddos thrive. 

Being self-compassionate is a big part of being a parent who raises happy and healthy children. Being kind to ourselves, knowing that other parents are dealing with the same issues, and taking a mindful moment to recognize what is happening let’s us make better decisions.