Proactive Parenting with Deanna Marie Mason PhD

This episode is focused on how accidental parenting occurs and what parents can do to avoid the risks of engaging in accidental parenting. Simply put, accidental parenting happens when we use a parenting technique or approach that does not sufficiently take into account the development of our child. Because of this, the anticipated results aren't achieved and we find that we have actually created a bigger or more complex problem than the one that we were trying solve.

This episode is based on a real-life example taken from my practice. By working through the parent motivations, the approach, the style, and the outcomes, it is easy to see how accidental parenting can happen even when we approach our children with love and desire to parent them well. While it's easy to fall into accidental parenting, there are ways to avoid making this mistake. Understanding the developmental age of our children is the key to selecting appropriate parenting techniques and knowing how to flex or customise them to reflect the unique characteristics and personalities of our children and support our family's values.

In addition to learning about what accidental parent is and why it happens, three clear and easy suggestions are given to help parents avoid the risks of accidental parenting in their families.

Just to let you know, for the duration of the Proactive Parenting podcast launch, I will be releasing two episodes a week instead of my normal weekly release schedule. I hope you enjoy the extra episodes.

Proactive Parenting is based on validated theories and scientific research to provide the information you need to care for your modern family. Not everyone grew up in a completely healthy family of origin and consequently may be unsure of how to be a parent when they start a family. Proactive Parenting was created for parents who need a solid foundation to start raising their children, and for parents who want to do better. It is a way to move past old behaviours, break unhealthy habits, and replace them with parenting actions that will lead to a healthy family life for both children and parents.

If you want to learn more about Proactive Parenting, please visit my webpage and social media sites:

Website: www.proactiveparenting.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deannamariemason

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.deannamariemason/

This episode is focused on what happens when children are raised without learning values. Values can seem outdated, but the research is clear that values are central to raising children who will mature into adults that are ready to take on all of life's challenges and joys. Values are what we use to understand situations, choose our actions and evaluate our responses. Without values, these processes are at the mercy of our mood, feelings, and what other people around us are doing.

Children need values to help them learn how to interpret the world around them. They have limited life experience, so values become an important parenting tool to help us guide our little ones in making good decisions that match with what we believe as a family. When we only teach behaviours, rather than the values behind those behaviours, our children can never really understand why something is right or wrong. Values is what gives our behavioural expectations meaning.

The use of limits and discipline is central to teaching values and should be started early. The earlier we begin to teach our kiddos about values, the better and more profoundly they will learn them. As with all things in Proactive Parenting, it is never too early to start!

Just to let you know, for the duration of the Proactive Parenting podcast launch, I will be releasing two episodes a week instead of my normal weekly release schedule. I hope you enjoy the extra episodes.

Proactive Parenting is based on validated theories and scientific research to provide the information you need to care for your modern family. Not everyone grew up in a completely healthy family of origin and consequently may be unsure of how to be a parent when they start a family. Proactive Parenting was created for parents who need a solid foundation to start raising their children, and for parents who want to do better. It is a way to move past old behaviours, break unhealthy habits, and replace them with parenting actions that will lead to a healthy family life for both children and parents.

If you want to learn more about Proactive Parenting, please visit my webpage and social media sites:

Website: www.proactiveparenting.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deannamariemason

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.deannamariemason/

This episode is focused the important parenting topic of limits and discipline. While there are many different opinions and perspectives about the application of limits and discipline, the research and science support the use of limits and discipline throughout childhood and adolescence to teach our children values.

Limits and discipline communicate what is important to our family. When we structure our limits and discipline in a way that reflect our values, we are simply teaching our children about those values and how we use them as a family. With this in mind, limits and discipline do not change over the course of our children's lives but, instead, expand as they grow and mature. 

Examples of limits and discipline, from a values perspective, are given for each age and stage. Additionally, five principles are presented to help parents get started:

1.  Set limits and stick to them
2.  Limits are not negociable with our children
3.  Teach about rights and responsibilities
4.  Keep discipline as discipline
5.  Follow discipline with discussion

In addition, three types of discipline that should be avoided are reviewed:
1. Physical discipline (e.g. hitting, slapping, spanking)
2.  Shaming (i.e. focusing on the child rather than the child's behaviour)
3. Hyper-discipline (e.g. helicopter or snowplow parenting) 

This episode is meant to refocus limits and discipline as a form of communication that teaches our children about what is important to our family and support them in internalising that information so they become a self-confident, independent, and prepared adult at the end of their childhood journey.

Just to let you know, for the duration of the Proactive Parenting podcast launch, I will be releasing two episodes a week instead of my normal weekly release schedule. I hope you enjoy the extra episodes.

Proactive Parenting is based on validated theories and scientific research to provide the information you need to care for your modern family. Not everyone grew up in a completely healthy family of origin and consequently may be unsure of how to be a parent when they start a family. Proactive Parenting was created for parents who need a solid foundation to start raising their children, and for parents who want to do better. It is a way to move past old behaviours, break unhealthy habits, and replace them with parenting actions that will lead to a healthy family life for both children and parents.

If you want to learn more about Proactive Parenting, please visit my webpage and social media sites:

Website: www.proactiveparenting.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deannamariemason

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.deannamariemason/

This episode is focused on the difference between your child's chronological age and their developmental age. Chronological age is easy to measure, it is the number of birthdays that our children have had. It is easy to measure and is useful in knowing when to start school, drive a car, or vote. Developmental age is more complex and is related to how our child is developing in various areas, including physical, intellectual, emotional, social, moral, and sexual. 

This information is useful when we try to make comparisons between our children and other children. We may even notice that the children in our own family are not meeting milestones at the same time even though they live in the same house and have the same parents. Developmental age is the reason for these differences. Each child will go through a predictable, progressive development, but how they go through that process is individual and influenced by their personality, character, reactivity, birth order, and family situation. This is why children in the same household develop in a unique way in comparison to their siblings.

Understanding the difference between chronological age versus developmental age, and learning how to view a child in relation to their developmental age in each specific area will help in knowing how to adjust our parenting to get the most out of each of our kiddos. Knowing what to expect - not too much or too little - helps us tweak our approach to keep your little ones moving forward. This is a powerful tool in creating a harmonious family life that also builds trust between parents and their children.

Just to let you know, for the duration of the Proactive Parenting podcast launch, I will be releasing two episodes a week instead of my normal weekly release schedule. I hope you enjoy the extra episodes.

Proactive Parenting is based on validated theories and scientific research to provide the information you need to care for your modern family. Not everyone grew up in a completely healthy family of origin and consequently may be unsure of how to be a parent when they start a family. Proactive Parenting was created for parents who need a solid foundation to start raising their children, and for parents who want to do better. It is a way to move past old behaviours, break unhealthy habits, and replace them with parenting actions that will lead to a healthy family life for both children and parents.

If you want to learn more about Proactive Parenting, please visit my webpage and social media sites:

Website: www.proactiveparenting.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deannamariemason

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.deannamariemason/

This episode is focused on what we can do when we catch our child telling lies. By understanding how their development at each age and stage influences why and how they lie, it is easier for us to know how to respond. 

Most importantly, when we understand why our children lie, we can use those interactions as teachable moments to bring us closer with our children. To help us reach this goal, the cognitive development of our children is explained at each developmental stage along with how their minds process falsehoods. Then, realistic and practical approaches to address and guide our children at each age and stage is discussed.

Knowing that telling untruths in a part of childhood is reassuring, but knowing how to respond is what makes all the difference. Keep listening to know how to handle lying in your family.

Just to let you know, for the duration of the Proactive Parenting podcast launch, I will be releasing two episodes a week instead of my normal weekly release schedule. I hope you enjoy the extra episodes.

Proactive Parenting is based on validated theories and scientific research to provide the information you need to care for your modern family. Not everyone grew up in a completely healthy family of origin and consequently may be unsure of how to be a parent when they start a family. Proactive Parenting was created for parents who need a solid foundation to start raising their children, and for parents who want to do better. It is a way to move past old behaviours, break unhealthy habits, and replace them with parenting actions that will lead to a healthy family life for both children and parents.

If you want to learn more about Proactive Parenting, please visit my webpage and social media sites:

Website: www.proactiveparenting.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deannamariemason

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.deannamariemason/

This episode is focused on how overindulgence can rob our children's happiness. Watching our kiddos' faces light up with joy when they receive a gift, go for ice cream, get showered with attention or are allowed a privilege can lead us to repeat these activities frequently. However, the more our children receive, the more they view these extras as "normal." This sets them up to want even more and can take away their enjoyment of what they have.

Learning about how overindulgence shows up in families as well as how our children become accustomed to having too much can help begin the process of moving towards having enough, but not too much.

Just to let you know, for the duration of the Proactive Parenting podcast launch, I will be releasing two episodes a week instead of my normal weekly release schedule. I hope you enjoy the extra episodes.

Proactive Parenting is based on validated theories and scientific research to provide the information you need to care for your modern family. Not everyone grew up in a completely healthy family of origin and consequently may be unsure of how to be a parent when they start a family. Proactive Parenting was created for parents who need a solid foundation to start raising their children, and for parents who want to do better. It is a way to move past old behaviours, break unhealthy habits, and replace them with parenting actions that will lead to a healthy family life for both children and parents.

If you want to learn more about Proactive Parenting, please visit my webpage and social media sites:

Website: www.proactiveparenting.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deannamariemason

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.deannamariemason/

This episode continues exploring how separation anxiety is made worse during COVID-19. While the previous episode discussed how separation anxiety as a natural developmental process at each age and stage during "normal" times and described how separation anxiety typically appears in children, this episode uses that information as a base to go over how parents may see more separation anxiety in their children due to the pandemic and the changes in society that have occurred as a result.

While acknowledging that the pandemic is hard for parents to manage, it is even harder for our children. The main idea in making this situation easier for our children is to accept that things are less scary when we know what they are. This means that we can support our children by focusing on accepting and labelling feelings to make them seem less overwhelming. We also need to be flexible on how we manage this situation as the pandemic continues to progress and evolve.

The change from our current reduced social circles to larger ones with the return to school, university, and work may increase separation anxiety in our kiddos. In order to help our children adjust, four approaches are presented to support our kids at each age and stage:

--  0-3 years: Creating patterns when parents leave and return
--  3-5 years: Focus on body control through deep breathing
--  6-13 years: Help them explore feelings and feel empowered to influence the situation 
--  13-19: Build resilience and maintain hope in difficult times

Patience is key throughout this process for parents and their kiddos.

Just to let you know, for the duration of the Proactive Parenting podcast launch, I will be releasing two episodes a week instead of my normal weekly release schedule. I hope you enjoy the extra episodes.

Proactive Parenting is based on validated theories and scientific research to provide the information you need to care for your modern family. Not everyone grew up in a completely healthy family of origin and consequently may be unsure of how to be a parent when they start a family. Proactive Parenting was created for parents who need a solid foundation to start raising their children, and for parents who want to do better. It is a way to move past old behaviours, break unhealthy habits, and replace them with parenting actions that will lead to a healthy family life for both children and parents.

If you want to learn more about Proactive Parenting, please visit my webpage and social media sites:

Website: www.proactiveparenting.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deannamariemason

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.deannamariemason/

This is the first of a two-part podcast focused on separation anxiety. In this first episode, we will be exploring separation anxiety at each age and stage as a natural developmental response. Separation anxiety generally occurs as a response to change and our child's desire to either slow down or stop what is happening because they feel overwhelmed. 

Going through each age range, a description of how we can recognise separation anxiety in our children and how development influences their expression of anxiety. 

Separation anxiety is not necessarily negative. It reveals areas where our children feel insecure and need additional support to continue growing and developing. For that reason, specific advice is given on how you can help your child at each age and stage to face the strong emotions they are feeling that are behind their separation anxiety.  

Just to let you know, for the duration of the Proactive Parenting podcast launch, I will be releasing two episodes a week instead of my normal weekly release schedule. I hope you enjoy the extra episodes.

Proactive Parenting is based on validated theories and scientific research to provide the information you need to care for your modern family. Not everyone grew up in a completely healthy family of origin and consequently may be unsure of how to be a parent when they start a family. Proactive Parenting was created for parents who need a solid foundation to start raising their children, and for parents who want to do better. It is a way to move past old behaviours, break unhealthy habits, and replace them with parenting actions that will lead to a healthy family life for both children and parents.

If you want to learn more about Proactive Parenting, please visit my webpage and social media sites:

Website: www.proactiveparenting.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deannamariemason

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.deannamariemason/

This episode is focused on what it means to be a Proactive Parent and why proactive parenting can lead to a more sustainable future for your family. By learning about your child's development you will be able to adapt to your child's needs as they grow. In understanding what behaviour you can expect from your child, you'll be able to better balance all the needs of your family - including your own! Being a Proactive Parent will enable you to make educated choices on what is best for your family in light of your set of core values. 

While other parenting programs can leave you feeling stagnant and frustrated, being a proactive parent gives you the knowledge and insight into what changes you can make when your child outgrows their established routine. Listen to this episode to learn how Proactive Parenting can fit your family. 

Just to let you know, for the duration of the Proactive Parenting podcast launch, I will be releasing two episodes a week instead of my normal weekly release schedule. I hope you enjoy the extra episodes.

Proactive Parenting is based on validated theories and scientific research to provide the information you need to care for your modern family. Not everyone grew up in a completely healthy family of origin and consequently may be unsure of how to be a parent when they start a family. Proactive Parenting was created for parents who need a solid foundation to start raising their children, and for parents who want to do better. It is a way to move past old behaviours, break unhealthy habits, and replace them with parenting actions that will lead to a healthy family life for both children and parents.

If you want to learn more about Proactive Parenting, please visit my webpage and social media sites:

Website: www.proactiveparenting.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deannamariemason

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.deannamariemason/

Proactive Parenting is based on validated theories and scientific research to provide the information you need to care for your modern family. Not everyone grew up in a completely healthy family of origin and consequently may be unsure of how to be a parent when they start a family. Proactive Parenting was created for parents who need a solid foundation to start raising their children, and for parents who want to do better. It is a way to move past old behaviours, break unhealthy habits, and replace them with parenting actions that will lead to a healthy family life for both children and parents.

This episode is focused on the myth of being a perfect parent. Research has shown that perfect parenting may actually interfere with your child's natural development so it is better to be a good parent instead. Good parents guide their children in their natural developmental process while perfect parents try to create a perfect child or childhood experience. The good parent approach is fluid and child-led while perfect parenting is rigid and parent-led.

When we try to be perfect parents, the focus shifts from our child onto us - and that can drain our resources and leave us feeling exhausted. Listen to this episode to learn how being a good parent is more sustainable for us and our children, why it is better than trying to be perfect, and exactly how good we have to be to qualify as a good parent - you're going to be surprised!

Just to let you know, for the duration of the Proactive Parenting podcast launch, I will be releasing two episodes a week instead of my normal weekly release schedule. I hope you enjoy the extra episodes.

If you want to learn more about Proactive Parenting, please visit my webpage and social media sites:

Website: www.proactiveparenting.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deannamariemason
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.deannamariemason/