Progressively Horrified

I fucking hate this fucking movie with all the passion I have left in this shell of a body. Ridley Scott cursed us with this franchise in 1979 and it's been slowly killing us ever since.

Who's responsible for this shit?

• Director: Fede Alvarez
• Writers: Fede Alvarez with credits to Dan Obannon and Ronald Shusett
• Stars: Cailee Spaney, David Johsson, Archi Reneaux, Isabela Merced, Spike Fearn, Aileen Wu

Recommendations:

• Emily - Dominion Tank Police
• Ben - Coyote Vs ACME
• Jeremy - AEW All In, Akira Kurasawa’s High and Low

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What a deeply and totally unpolished turd.

And now that I'm done talking about James Woods, now for the rest of this movie!

Who is responsible for this?

• Director: John Carpenter
• Writers: Don Jakoby, based on the novel by John Steakley
• Stars: James Woods (notorious Hollywood shithead, known for being in Kingdom Hearts and suing anyone who doesn’t agree with him, incl his harassment victoms), Daniel Baldwin (b list Baldwin but at least he didn’t shoot anyone afaik), Sheryl Lee (Laura Palmer! She should have stayed in the Black Lodge), Thomas Ian Griffith (martial artist and yet not the hero of this film), Maximillian Schell (he is German), and more! Wait, is that Shang Tsung?????

What do we recommend?

• Emily - Rockula, any other Vampire movie. Also Tim Curry and Dolly Parton RIP
• Ben - Near Dark, What We Do in the Shadows, Avatar Aang
• Jeremy - Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma

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When we said we were covering some shitty, dusty ass, good for nothing movies that were best not remembered at all...wait, why did we decide to do this again?

Who's Responsible for this?

• Director: Alex Kurtzman
• Writers: David Koepp, Christopher Macquarrie, Dylan Kussman
• Stars: Tom Cruise, Sofia Bourtella, Annabelle Wallis, Jake Johnson, Russell Crowe, Courtney B. Vance

What do we recommend?

• Emily - Stargate
• Ben - Research flock cameras, Yu-gi-o
• Jeremy - Predator: killer of killers

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Who's Responsible for this?

• Director: David F Sandburg
• Writers: David F Sandburg, Eric Heisserer
• Stars: Teresa Palmer, Gabriel Bateman, Maria Bello, Alexander DiPersia, Billy Burke

What do we recommend?

• Emily - How to Make Jorts by BDG
• Ben - Ted Lasso, Mother’s Basement: The Best Worst Anime Studio
• Jeremy - Tony, Hellraiser Judgement

Take our listener survey: http://bit.ly/progressivelyhorrified-survey

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Don't delete this podcast thinking you already listened to it last week! Influencers is the sequel to Influencer. That's right, Kurtis David Harder is the James Cameron of hot social media murderers! Cassandra Naud is back as CW and this time she's in love! And her girlfriend is French, so if you like your lesbian murderers with a baguette in the bicycle basket, boy have we got the movie for you!

Who's Responsible for this:

• Director: Kurtis David Harder
• Writers: Kurtis David Harder
• Stars: Cassandra Naud, Emily Tennant, Lisa Delamar. Veronica Long, Georgina Campbell, Jonathan Whitesell

Recommendations:

• Emmanuel - Seek app by iNaturalist
• Sara - Sailor Moon Dream Arc, X-Men, We Can Only Save Ourselves
• Emily - Going Outside, Widow’s Bay, Bodies
• Ben - Collateral
• Jeremy - Magical Boy, Yojimbo, Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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Two months of Pride wasn't enough, so the queer horror keeps on coming all through August. Now it's time to meet your badass lesbian femme fatale mommy, C.W., a woman who literally murders a woman by stepping on her. She hates social media...like...more than the normal amount.

Who's responsible for this?

• Director: Kurtis David Harder
• Writers: Kurtis David Harder, Tesh Guttikonda
• Stars: Cassandra Naud, Emily Tennant, Rory J. Saper, Sara Canning, Justin Sams, Paul Spurrier

Recommendations for the week:

• Sara - Audio books of bleak nonfiction (Plastic Ink), documentaries, Shudder Horror (Deadly Spawn), 
• Emmanuel -  Dungeon Crawler Carl
• Emily - Dean Spade’s Mutual Aid, Tiny Gardens Everywhere
• Ben - Sense8, Galaxy: The Prettiest Star, Galaxy: As the World Falls Down, Sissy
• Jeremy - Witch Hat Atelier, Grant Morrisson’s New X-Men, Usagi Yojimbo, Crime of Passion

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Did you ever wonder what happens to the mail that you screwed up the address on? Well, this movie is going to answer that...but then not be about that at all. This movie is gonna throw a lot of things at you...and then keep moving?

Who's responsible for this?

• Director: Joe DeBoer, Kyle McConaghy
• Writers: Joe DeBoer, Kyle McConaghy
• Stars: Sterling Macer Jr, John Fleck, Thomas Boykin, Micki Jackson, Susan Priver

Recommendations:

• Michael - DTF St. Louis
• Emily - Look Mum, No computer - analog synthesizers on YouTube
• Jeremy - Librarians, ALA, Dust Bunny, They Will Kill You

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First Ben had a sudden deadline fall in their lap. Then Emily got sick. But Jeremy decided to soldier on without them! After all, comic writer Justin Jordan was joining the podcast for the first time and we were talking about the really good and very queer horror film Cuckoo.

Then, Jeremy's entire neighborhood lost power for a full 12 hours mid-episode.

However! Justin was a real trooper and came back to finish talking to Jeremy about Cuckoo in spite of all the many many reasons potentially not to.

As a result, the sound is also a little weird and the episode is Frankensteined together from two different recordings.

Who's responsible for this?

• Director: Tilman Singer (Luz)
• Writers: Tilman Singer
• Stars: Hunter Schaefer, Dan Stevens, Jessica Henwick, Jan Bluthardt, Marton Csokas, Kalin Morrow

Recommendation:

• Justin -  Eyes of my Mother, Terrified, When Evil Lurks
• Jeremy - The Guest, Tilman Singer’s Luz

Want to learn more about what Justin is up to?

• DeathOrComics.com, JustinJordanComics.com,

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A family drag queens arrives to do a show at a backwoods redneck bar, but they become heroes to the locals when vampires attack. Unless you hang out with drag queens, you've never heard the word "bitch" this many times in an hour and a half.

Before we jump into our discussion of the movie, let’s talk about who’s responsible for this movie.

• Director: Jem Gerrard
• Writers: Jem Gerrard
• Stars: Trinity the Tuck (named after Trinity from Matrix), Heidi N Closet, Crystal Methyd, Cara Melle (actually trans), Donia Kash (they/them), Neil Sandilands, Daniel Janks, and Robyn Scott as Shiela

Recommendations:

• Amy - Reading, Hunger Stone, City Council of Darkness
• Emily - The Light Eaters - Zoe Schlanger, Magic Fish, Bear Prince - Trungles
• Jeremy - Thirsty Sword Lesbians, Monsterhearts. Librarians

Follow Amy here: https://bsky.app/profile/amythunderjam.bsky.social

Check out her new book Fixation here: https://idwpublishing.com/blogs/news/idw-crime-brings-the-shocks-thrills-of-true-crime-cult-stories-to-comics

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June may be over, but the horror movies just keep getting queerer. Pride will continue unabated until morale improves.

Who's Responsible for this?

• Director: Eli Craig (Tucker and Dale Vs Evil, Little Evil
• Writers: Carter Blanchard, Eli Craig, based on the book by Adam Cesare
• Stars: Katie Douglas, Aaron Abrams, Carson MacCormac, Vincent Muller, Kevin Durand, Will Sasso, Cassandra Potenza, Verity Marks, Ayo Solanke, Alexandre Martin Deakin

Recommendations:

• Bronwyn - Moon Child, Something Bad is going to happen
• Adam - Paranormal Activity stageplay
• Brent - Dungeon Crawler Carl
• Joe - 
• Emily - Mutual Aid, You and I are Polar Opposites
• Jeremy - Soara and the House of Monsters, Tragedy Girls

Take our listener survey: http://bit.ly/progressivelyhorrified-survey

Sign up to support Progressively Horrified on Patreon for as little as $5 a month and get bonus episodes! https://www.patreon.com/c/progressivelyhorrified

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