Kyle and Ethan from The Babylon Bee talk about Gavin Newsom lifting lockdowns, GameStop stonks, and the impeachment of a former president. They also throw down in an epic rap battle and tell you how you can have a zoo name a roach after your ex.

Introduction

Kyle and Ethan have a rap battle so you will throw money at them.

Stuff That's Good

Kyle likes his trusty Leatherman Rebar.

Ethan likes his new collection of G.K. Chesterton poems signed by the man himself.

Weird News

Zoo offers to name roaches, rats after patrons' ex-lovers

GoPro camera recovered after six years underwater in Hawaii

Skier chased by a bear at Romanian resort

Inventor unveils airbag jeans to protect motorcyclists in crashes

Oklahoma bill would establish a Bigfoot hunting season

Toronto woman finds knife-wielding squirrel in the back yard

Man catches 54 pieces of popcorn in his mouth in one minute

Stories of the Week

Story 1 'You Can Reopen Now!' Governor Newsom Shouts At Row Of Abandoned, Dilapidated Buildings

Story 2 GameStop Announces That Due To Skyrocketing Stock, They Can Now Afford To Pay Up To 25 Cents For Your Used Games

Story 3 Congress To Retroactively Impeach All Previous Republican Presidents

Topic of the Week

https://babylonbee.com/news/another-10-fulfilled-prophecies-from-the-babylon-bee

Hate Mail

Richard takes issue with us assuming the fate of the eternal soul of Jeffrey Epstein or making light of hell.

Subscriber Portion

Subscriber Update

Mailbag

A LOVE MAIL from Joseph R. and asking for advice on marriage & purity, and also to dispute Kyle and Dan's ranking of LOTR films.

Bonus Hate Mail

Kwame thinks our AOC coverage is bad and we should feel bad.

Subscriber Headlines of the Week

Got Any Cool Stories?

We get an unbelievable update about one of Calvins- you already know which one.