Excuse me, have you been saved?

Have you accepted Bono as your personal Lord and savior?

Well, strap on your suspenders and grab the nearest issue of Modern Honkie, cause Pryant, Bat, and Owern are back once again! Also, Thomas the Chihuahua-Terrier mix joins us to say a whole lot of nuthin'.

It's blackjack 21, peeps, so you know it's gonna be good, dawgz.

ARE YOU DOWN?

Updated weekly, every Monday PST.

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Returning from a restful and erotic four-week vacay, our faithful hosts return with semi-permanent guest Owen. Shooting the breeze, they speak of—what else?—how pro wrestler legend Scott Hall killed a man. All manner of wrestling tidbits, trivia and factoids are also broached, as well as something more important: women who taste like tzatziki sauce. In the middle of the show, “a new challenger” arrives in Josh, who maintains he went fap-free all last month. Later, YouTube favorites Gorburger and Nardwuar are discussed.

Full of questions that magically complement and even duplicate each other—even though they didn't at all plan it that way—a ferocious Lightning Round has Owen laying into a defenseless Edward Furlong for no good reason, then the panel hazards a guess for the winner of UFC 158’s St-Pierre vs. Diaz fight. (This episode was recorded prior to fight night. And Owen’s answer proved correct.) Later, a stunning revelation is made: Anderson Silva and Dhalsim ARE THE SAME PERSON. Are you down?

Updated weekly, every Monday PST.

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Feeling adventurous??? Are you afraid of the dark??? Well, grab a torch and get ready for a journey, my dawgs!

Pryant, Bat, and returning super guests Josh and Matt (or "BELLY BLASTER") are at it again! Talking about like, the most important shit, mang! From Lent to ancient battle cries, the boys cover it all.

Got dem GOOSEBUMPS? SO DO WE! Also, so do guest callers UFC Welterweight Champion Georges St. Pierre, Tristin from West Hollywood, and Pryant's mom!

It's a barn-burner if we ever heard one!

R JOO DUAH!?

Updated weekly, every Monday PST.

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What’s that smell? Ric Rutel! Though regular hosts Pryant and Bat couldn’t make it for today’s show—they got nagged into taking their money-grubbing, bimbo girlfriends to some boring-ass ballet—kindly filling in are America’s favorite horn dogs, Al, Ric and The Trick—the bad boys of daytime talk! Join ringleader Ric Rutel, “The Mouth” Al Camaro and “The Trick” Johnny Mas, along with faithful sidemen Don Key Punch and Belly Blaster, as they battle the fearsome tide of political correctness threatening red-blooded men everywhere. Sadly, friend of the show Lance “Touché” Douché was busted for prescription drug abuse and quickly pulled before air. Sitting in his place is the unbearable FCC auditor Lindsey Warner, who with his “diversity training” politics and obsession with sensitivity, does his damndest to ruin the fun.

After Ric effuses with a manifesto on the anti-feminest Shangri-La of Boobtopia, he and the boys take calls from their prankster fans—including a jovial, surprise call-in from UFC Welterweight Champion Georges St-Pierre, who joins the fun in hating on wet-blanket Lindsey. Later, Rutel locks horns with the flighty feminist author, Lena Meyer-Donnely, for a heated discussion of her new book, “The Penetrating Truth: Why Women Don't Need to Be Entered to Enter Ecstasy.”

Later, a Lightning Round of impossible vulgarity pushes FCC crony Lindsey Warner to his breaking point—with hilarious results. Are you down?

Updated weekly, every Monday PST.

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Talk about hard to handle. Pryant, Bat and (semi-permanent guest) Owern welcome special first-timer Joshua Race Mas, who introduces our hosts to the domain-mastering challenge of No Fap February. Those—ahem!—hardy enough not to, uh, get their auto-erotic jollies on all month include a parade of Pryant and Bat favorites who call in pledging their support to the event’s noble aim.

That’s right! Our hosts hear from KISS legend Gene Simmons—whose beautiful wife, Shannon, is also going “no fap”—as well as Hustler mogul Larry Flynt and faithful frienemy Basil of Birmingham, England. Pryant and Bat are awakened to their Southern fan base in taking a call from the chaste blue-collar fan, Hank from Arlington, TX, and UFC welterweight champion Georges St-Pierre calls to throw his “no wank” gauntlet in the Octogon, as well.

A Lightning Round of mounting sexual frustration follows shortly. Are you down?

Updated weekly, every Monday PST.

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A big one this week! Pryant and Bat talk to ’80s and ’90s teen idol Devin Dando, who’s plugging his new book, Down and Out and Back: Confessions of a Teen Heartthrob. The hard-partying star, whose credits include teen classics Tyler (1983) with Jason Gedrick and Tiffany and Am I Still Dreaming? (1991) with Christy Swanson and Al Jarreau, tells of his wild behind-the-scenes stories, as well as a bit about his unusual upbringing. Hey, man, it’s all in the book.

Later, Bat and semi-permanent guest Owern talk to UFC Welterweight Champion and beloved French Canadian Georges St-Pierre, who is due to defend his belt against Nick Diaz in UFC 158 on March 16. With his inimitable Quebec accent, GSP talks shop, his enthusiasm for the work of Devin Dando, practicing sidekicks with Michael Jai White and his fearlessness in taking on Diaz next month. Hee’s not scared, omee.

Also, Basil calls in with the special poem, “Skulldruggery.” GSP wants to know: Are you down?

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In this week's episode, Pryant, Bat, and semi-permanent guest Owern receive a surprise call-in by Gene Simmons of KISS, then discuss Halle Berry Catwoman vs. Anne Hathaway Catwoman, the merits of Joel Schumacher Batman films, Marlon Brando as Col. Kurtz and Russell Crowe in the upcoming biblical epic, “Noah.”

Later our power trio opens it up to callers, where they hear from the hot 'n' bothered Donovan of Eugene, Oregon, UK fan and disgruntled poet Basil, the anonymous “Harvey” from Pensacola, Fla., and in an absolutely stunning call, Porter from Buffalo, N.Y.—a frightened toddler who calls the show amid a life-threatening emergency. What transpires can only be described as an unforgettable sequence of events you'll just have to hear to believe.

Heaven isn't too far away. Are you down?

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In a podcast of firsts comes yet another first: A simultaneous show—Lightning Round, topics, chatter and all—*plus* a video game playthrough. As in during, in concert, contemporaneously! Players Pryant, Bat and semi-permanent guest Owern, as well as special guest and possible bigot Brett, will be embarking upon a proper show while at the same time taking on the 1989 Genesis shooter, “Truxton”—and later yet another early Genesis hit, “James ‘Buster’ Douglas Knockout Boxing.” Not only is it a hoot, but the results are slowly coming in, and you may even call it a holler before the night is through.

As lasers zip around, spaceships explode and "Game Over" flashes onscreen for the Truxteenth time, Pryant, Bat and the boys will be distractedly talking their way through not only a ridiculous four-man Lightning Round, but hot-button topics like Cher 20 years ago, an “indecent proposal” with Elton John and whether Michael Madsen and Tom Sizemore are actually the same person.

Pass the controller. Are you down?

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Updated weekly, every Monday PST.

After a fleeting stint with NPR affiliate DPR, Pryant and Bat have found a new home in conservative talk radio station AM830 KDAC: Free Talk and Free Minds. Join Pryant “The Working Man” Williams—a.k.a. “The Fist”—as he takes on not only the lib-tard nanny state control freaks, but his own co-host, liberal counterpoint Bat “The Rat” DeLaney. Unfortunately, semi-permanent guest Owen Schumacher could not make the show, and in his stead is trusted American and famed talk show host “The Strength” Harvey Hoffman.

On today’s show, Pryant and Bat read infuriating headlines from the lamestream media, as well as many late-breaking items from Bat’s close Pentagon sources. Additionally, “The Strength” takes on talk radio’s phony competition, the cigar-chomping Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity, nothing but a potato-eating mick. At the bottom of the hour, Pryant and Bat talk to author and ex-CIA agent Francis Urbini about his upcoming book, “Infected: America’s Dire Diagnosis of the Liberal Pathogen.” Other than Bat being a young liberal twit, Pryant and Harvey also talk of Obama’s transgendered superhuman army poised to attack the world’s cities at the drop of a hat, as well as a plot by Vatican assassins to kidnap libertarian hero Ron Paul, brainwash him and force him to recite Marxist drivel on national TV.

This is not our America! Are you down?

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Updated weekly, every Monday PST.

This week’s show: Monday, Dec. 10th

Today’s panel: Permanent hosts Bryant Andrew Pemsworth and Patrique Diocletian DeLaney, as well as semi-permanent guest Owen Burnham-Schumacher

Now with respected NPR-affiliate Downey Public Radio, “Pryant and Bat” returns with a kinder, gentler feel—dropping gauche subjects such as mixed martial arts, pro wrestling and punk music in favor of more enlightened, consciousness-based discussion. Our celebrated duo, again joined by semi-permanent guest Owen Burnham-Schumacher, will engage international politics, multiculturalism in the 21st century and Eastern meditative practices. Other topics include the freedom fighters of Hezbollah, 20th-century heroes of social justice, doing the work of Dr. King, our burden to Mother Earth, organic tattoos, eating with one’s hands, the oppressive nature of silverware, “East vs. West,” allergies due to sandalwood and saw palmetto, underarm hair on a godess and a transgenically-enhanced Dennis Franz, among various and sundry other subjects of vast import.

Also, stay tuned for an epiphanous Lightning Round, as well as the stirring new segment, Hero’s Corner. Remember, we’re not enemies, or even competitors—but only occupants on the Spirit Train of Life.

Are you south? Updated weekly, every Monday PST.

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