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“God will not have his work made manifest by cowards”  Ralph Waldo Emerson.  

Join us for this delightful conversation with Dr. Beth Rom Rymer and Neill Clark on the topic of risk taking in our lives.  We contemplate ideas by Machiavelli, Goethe, Lincoln and George Washington.    We discuss psychological and moral risks - courageous action for things aligned with our values and even better, for principles greater than ourselves.  

As this episode is being recorded and released, Dr. Beth Rom Rymer is running for President Elect of the American Psychological Association.    Dr. Beth Rom-Rymer’s distinguished career includes groundbreaking work with survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence advocacy, and forensic geriatrics. She had been a lecturer at The University of Chicago and Northwestern University for over two decades; led the successful legislative movement for prescriptive authority in Illinois and is a national and international leader with Prescriptive Authority Movements around the globe.  Dr. Rom-Rymer co-founded and is President of the Association of Jewish Psychologists. She has won numerous awards for her work, including:   Distinguished Illinois Psychologist from the Illinois Psychological Association (2012 and 2014);  Outstanding Psychologist of the Year from APA’s Division 31 (2014); APA Presidential Citation for Outstanding Leadership (2015); APA Karl Heiser Award for Legislative Advocacy (2015); Wellner Lifetime Achievement Award from the National Register of Health Service Psychologists (2016); Social Impact Leaders Award from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology (2018). 

Neill W. Clark, JD, antitrust attorney, current Mayor of Sparta, New Jersey and coach to competitive runners, brings in some athletic examples of risk and reward.  

This episode was recorded on August 20th, 2024

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This show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

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In this episode I share 
1) What research has found about the impact of family meals
2)  Tips on how to get started again for those who have gotten away from the practice 
3) My own practice with our family dinners, including three conversation starters that we have used for years.  These conversation starters are helpful in other contexts, including for divorced parents and their children  when they do “phone time” when away from one another.    Enjoy!  

Support the show

This show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

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I consider agape love to be the highest form of love and I’m so excited to share this topic with you.  On this show Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, and I discuss the following and more:

• What is the definition of agape love and how is it different than other forms of love, such as Eros (romantic love) or love among family?  
• How does one practice agape love?  
• How does agape love fit in with justice and fairness?  
• How does agape love fit in with other virtues defined by psychology and religion?  

Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  Dr. Enright is the Aristotelian Professor in Forgiveness Science in the School of Education's Department of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   For his work in the peace movement, Dr. Enright has been named the Paul Harris Fellow by Rotary International.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications, including cross-cultural studies, on this and related topics.

I dedicate most of my podcast episodes to non-profit groups and today’s show is dedicated to: 
 https://www.internationalforgiveness.com.   

Support the show

This show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

Text me a question I might answer through the show

Affairs, which soared during COVID,  are addictive and can cause harm all around.  In this episode psychologist guests Dr. Sharon Ryan Montgomery, Dr. Marcy Pasternak and Dr. Tamsen Thorpe share their expertise on the different types of affairs, how affairs impact children, the personality types of those who are more likely to have affairs, steps to take to heal from an affair and more.    In my practice I find that affairs can be painful and debilitating not only for the injured party but for individuals trying to get out of one.   Learn about how there are emotional affairs, virtual affairs, sexual-only affairs and fantasy affairs.  Learn about the intergenerational effects of a child being alienated (cut off) from a parent in hostile, high conflict divorces.    Our expert guests provide resources for how to heal after the effects of an affair.  

Dr. Marcy Pasternak, PhD ([email protected]) is a clinical and forensic psychologist who practices in New Jersey.  She obtained her doctoral degree in Clinical Psychology at Duke University.  While her practice serves individuals of all ages in both the clinical and forensic arena, her special interests include marital and family therapy, divorce therapy, forensic evaluations concerning custody and parenting time, removal, refuse/resist dynamics, grandparent visitation, risk assessment, and personal injury.  She often serves as a parenting coordinator, parenting coach, and is also an accredited divorce mediator, conducting both divorce mediation and therapeutic mediation.  She conducts multi-day intensive family interventions through a program called “Building Family Resilience,” an outgrowth of her practice.  These interventions are for families in which a child resists contact with a parent.   Dr. Pasternak has served as a psychological expert in numerous counties in New Jersey.  She was a Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at New Jersey Medical School, UMDNJ, now voluntary faculty.  She is the past President of the New Jersey chapter of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts and has given numerous workshops and presentations to the mental health and legal communities in New Jersey and nationally.   

Dr. Sharon Ryan Montgomery, PsyD ([email protected]), is a licensed psychologist in New Jersey.  Dr. Montgomery completed her doctorate in psychology from Rutgers University in 1982.  Her areas of expertise are in Clinical and Forensic Psychology.  Dr. Montgomery has served as an expert in over 2000 custody disputes and has also conducted evaluations in criminal matters, personal injury, marital tort cases, and testifies in court on numerous occasions.  She also serves as an individual, couples, family and reconciliation therapist; as well as a parenting coordinator, mediator, divorce coach and supervisor of other psychologists.   Dr. Montgomery also provides intensive therapy workshops and weekend intensives for families in which a child is refusing contact with a parent through the Building Family Resilience program.   She is the Past President of the New Jersey Psychological Association and the New Jersey Chapter of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, Human Services Association and the Morris County Psychological Association.  

Dr. Tamsen Thorpe ([email protected]) counsels adults, couples and families in transition.  In therapy, she assists c

Support the show

This show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

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This episode’s guest is Dr. Sean Sullivan, psychologist and the author of The Mind Master’s Silent Journey and Be Your Purpose:  10 Science Based Steps to Feeling and Performing Your Best.  Dr. Sullivan has been featured in The New York Times, Forbes, and the Huffington Post. During the pandemic, the University of California approved piloting a mode of therapy that Dr. Sullivan developed called “Shift Therapy” at the Santa Cruz campus (UCSC). After two years of successful pilots, UCSC’s Health Center subscribed their entire 20,000+ member community to receive Shift Therapy in 2023.   

Through this episode we discuss the following and more:  
 *    the value of 5 minutes of exercise before meditating to settle your mind
 *    A technique in which you purposely introduce your triggers in order to gain mastery over the
 *    Visiting “the silence” or stillness within yourself daily 
 *    A specific approach to meditation, which Dr. Sean Sullivan has developed into an app
 *    “Backward time stamping.”  This comes at the end and is pretty deep!  

Enjoy!

Support the show

This show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

Text me a question I might answer through the show

This is the last of a 17 part series of super brief, stand alone podcasts (5 - 10 minutes each) on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness.   This episode answers the question: What are the physical and emotional risks of not forgiving?  

The following is a complete list of episodes in this series:  

1. What is the definition of forgiveness?  
2. What are the benefits of forgiveness?
3. What are the two paradoxes of forgiveness?
4. Is forgiveness just about religion? 
5. What is it to work the “forgiveness muscle?”
6. What are some of the criticisms of the idea of forgiveness?
7. Why is an “eye for an eye” not the best way?
8. If I forgive, I’m afraid I’ll forget OR if I forgive, I’m afraid I won’t forget.
9. Why is forgiveness better than a neutral attitude toward the wrongdoer?
10. Isn’t forgiveness unhealthy repression?
11. Do I forgive if the person continues to hurt me?
12. Should I forgive immediately or should I take some time first?
13. What if multiple people have hurt you, how do you decide who to forgive first? 
14. How long does it take to get emotional relief after forgiving, if at all?
15. How often should one forgive?  
16. Can forgiveness and justice happen together?  
17. What are the physical and emotional risks of not forgiving? 

Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    

Support the show

This show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

Text me a question I might answer through the show

This is the 16th of a 17 part series of super brief, stand alone podcasts (5 - 10 minutes each) on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness. This episode answers the question: Can forgiveness and justice happen together?    Dr. Enright brings in Aristotle in his answer . . . 

The following is a complete list of episodes in this series, which can be found at the Psychology America with Dr. Alexandra podcast: 

1. What is the definition of forgiveness?  
2. What are the benefits of forgiveness?
3. What are the two paradoxes of forgiveness?
4. Is forgiveness just about religion? 
5. What is it to work the “forgiveness muscle?”
6. What are some of the criticisms of the idea of forgiveness?
7. Why is an “eye for an eye” not the best way?
8. If I forgive, I’m afraid I’ll forget OR if I forgive, I’m afraid I won’t forget.
9. Why is forgiveness better than a neutral attitude toward the wrongdoer?
10. Isn’t forgiveness unhealthy repression?
11. Do I forgive if the person continues to hurt me?
12. Should I forgive immediately or should I take some time first?
13. What if multiple people have hurt you, how do you decide who to forgive first? 
14. How long does it take to get emotional relief after forgiving, if at all?
15. How often should one forgive?  
16. Can forgiveness and justice happen together?  
17. What are the physical and emotional risks of not forgiving?  (not yet released)

Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    

Support the show

This show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

Text me a question I might answer through the show

This is the 15th of a 17 part series of super brief, stand alone podcasts (5 - 10 minutes each) on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness. This episode answers the question:  How often should one forgive?  

The following is a list of the other episodes in the series:  

1. What is the definition of forgiveness?  
2. What are the benefits of forgiveness?
3. What are the two paradoxes of forgiveness?
4. Is forgiveness just about religion? 
5. What is it to work the “forgiveness muscle?”
6. What are some of the criticisms of the idea of forgiveness?
7. Why is an “eye for an eye” not the best way?
8. If I forgive, I’m afraid I’ll forget OR if I forgive, I’m afraid I won’t forget.
9. Why is forgiveness better than a neutral attitude toward the wrongdoer?
10. Isn’t forgiveness unhealthy repression?
11. Do I forgive if the person continues to hurt me?
12. Should I forgive immediately or should I take some time first?
13. What if multiple people have hurt you, how do you decide who to forgive first? 
14. How long does it take to get emotional relief after forgiving, if at all?
15. How often should one forgive?  

Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    

Support the show

This show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

Text me a question I might answer through the show

This is the 14th of a 17 part series of super brief, stand alone podcasts (5 - 10 minutes each) on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness.    This episode answers the question:  How long does it take to get emotional relief after forgiving, if at all?     Stay tuned for the 15th episode:  How often should one forgive?  

Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    

Support the show

This show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!

Text me a question I might answer through the show

This is the 13th of a 17 part series of super brief, stand alone podcasts (5 - 10 minutes each) on the topic of forgiveness.  In each show, I will ask just one question of Dr. Robert Enright, PhD, internationally renowned expert on the science and psychology of forgiveness. 

Stay tuned for the 14th episode:  How long does it take to get emotional relief after forgiving, if at all?

Dr. Robert Enright is the 2022 recipient of the Gold Medal Award for Impact in Psychology by the American Psychological Foundation.  As the founder of the scientific study of forgiveness, Dr. Enright has authored seven books and over 100 publications on the topic and related topics, including studies on cross-cultural interpersonal forgiveness.   Dr. Enright developed an early intervention to promote a model of forgiveness that can be self-taught or used in therapeutic settings.  Dr. Enright is a professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.   To learn more about forgiveness and Dr. Robert Enright, visit internationalforgiveness.com.    

Support the show

This show was created with love on my volunteer time. One small gift you can give me back is to take the time to leave the show a comment and rating on iTunes. You can also support the production costs of the show by buying me a $3 coffee at buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra. I will be encouraged by your support, and thank you!