Punch Drunk TV

All the news, all the TV shows -- let's just cut to the chase here... "Twin Peaks" is back and nothing else really matters. I mean, does it? Let's just get into it, shall we?

NEWS:

• "Twin Peaks" debuted to just 506,000 live viewers when it returned on Sunday night. However, the majority of the episodes’ viewers watched the first four episodes online through the Showtime app or on Hulu, Amazon or Youtube -- bringing Showtime the biggest record weekend (and single day) in subscriber signups in the network’s history.
• HBO has finally confirmed there are just 13 episodes left in the "Game of Thrones" series. Originally, they left open the possibility of more episodes being developed but now it’s finalized: Season 7 will have seven episodes, Season 8 will have only 6.
• TJ Miller won’t return to "Silicon Valley" for Season 5 which is a damn shame
• HBO and Jon Stewart have scrapped their planned short-form animated news project which was originally set to premiere during the 2016 election. Saying in a joint statement, "We all thought the project had great potential but there were technical issues in terms of production and distribution that proved too difficult given the quick turnaround and topical nature of the material. We’re excited to report that we have some future projects together which you will be hearing about in the near future.”
• Oliver Stone is partnering with Weinstein TV to direct the entire first season of “Guantanamo” --  a that’ll focus specifically on the detainees held in one of the world's most controversial prisons, and those who defend and condemn them. No network is attached as of yet. This is Oliver Stone’s first foray into television.
• NBC has renewed "Trial & Error" for a second season
• NBC has canceled "Chicago Justice" after one season
• Sashir Zamata and Vanessa Bayer are leaving "SNL"
• Mel Rodriguez and Vera Farmiga will star in an episode of "Philip K. Dick’s Electric Dreams" -- Amazon’s new sci-fi anthology series from Bryan Cranston. “In the episode, a man hangs dead from a lamppost, apparently murdered and inexplicably ignored by passersby, after a politician (Farmiga) makes a shocking statement encouraging violence. When one extraordinarily average man (Rodriguez) dares to question the situation, he becomes an instant target.”
• Netflix has canceled "The Get Down" after one season
• The third and final season of Netflix’s "Bloodline" premieres this Friday. Originally, it was to be a five or six season series, but because of Florida’s decision to cut tax incentives for film and TV productions, things became way too expensive to shoot. Instead, the third and final season -- cut down from 13 episodes to 10 -- will premiere May 26 to Netflix.
• History Channel has ordered a new UFO-themed series from Robert Zemeckis titled, "Blue Book." The story follows a college professor recruited by the Air Force to research paranormal files from the 1950s and '60s, each episode drawing inspiration from actual files for a blend of UFO theories with authentic historical information.
• Disney has renewed "Andi Mack" for a second season
• The "Black-ish" spinoff has an official new home - Freeform and an official new name: "College-ish"
• Lifetime is moving forward with its Robert Durst movie, titled “The Lost Wife of Robert Durst.” David Gillies, vampy star of CW’s “The Originals” will play Durst and Katharine McPhee will play Durst’s first wife Kathie, who mysteriously vanished in 1982. While Durst is currently in jail awaiting trial for the murder of his close friend, journalist Susan Berman, the questions linger as to what really happened to Kathie.

AARON’S LOSER: "Dirty Dancing"

JACK’S LOSER: "Agents of SHIELD"

AARON’S FENCERS: "Better Call Saul" and "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt"

JACK’S FENCERS: "Neon Joe: Werewolf Hunter," "Bakers vs Fakers," "The Toy Box" and "Handmaid's Tale"

AARON’S WINNERS: "Beerland," "Weediquette," "United Shades of America," "Supernatural," "The Leftovers" and "Twin Peaks"

JACK’S WINNERS: "Master of None," "Casual" and "Anne with an E"

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It's been a busy week for TV news here in L.A. -- the Network Upfronts have delivered a huge list of shows being canceled. As well, there are a bunch of new shows setup for the fall, and we did our best to pick out the best and the worst ones... But we hardly cracked the surface. Here are all the trailers so you can see what's coming up in the fall.

Also, the cast bios for the new season of the Bachelorette have been released and boy... They are something.

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NEWS:

• “Supernatural” will have a “Scooby Doo” crossover episode in Season 13
• “American Gods” has been renewed for a second season
• NBC canceled “Timeless” before changing its mind and renewing it for a second season
• Netflix is developing a “Dark Crystal” prequel series. The 10 episode series will be titled “The Dark Crystal: The Age Of Resistance” and the plot concerns three Gelfling who “discover the horrifying secret behind the Skeksis’ power” and “set out on an epic journey to ignite the fires of rebellion and save their world.”
• “The Purge” TV series will arrive in 2018 and will air on both USA and Syfy
• Netflix is also developing a TV series based on “The Witcher” books (the source material for The Witcher video games)
• Jordan Peele is teaming up with Mischa Green (co-creator of Underground) to adapt the novel “Lovecraft Country” for HBO. The story is about “a young man named Atticus Black in the ‘50s whose father goes missing, prompting him, his friend Letitia, and his uncle to go on a road trip to figure out what happened to the missing man. Along the way, the group has to “survive and overcome both the racist terrors of white America and the malevolent spirits that could be ripped from a Lovecraft paperback. 

AARON’S LOSER: "Prison Break"

JACK’S LOSERS: "Born this Way" and "Downward Dog"

AARON’S FENCERS: "Fargo" and "Lucifer"

JACK’S FENCERS: "Norm MacDonald: Hitler's Dog, Gossip and Trickery"

AARON’S WINNERS: "Twin Peaks," "SNL," "Soundtracks," "Problematic with Moshe Kasher," "American Gods," "Handmaid’s Tale" and "Master of None"

JACK’S WINNERS: "Terror Team," "Problematic with Moshe Kasher," "Desus & Mero," "Handmaid's Tale" and "American Gods"

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[Aaron here -- In a little over a week, I'll be attending the "Twin Peaks" premiere. How nuts is that? Do you have questions you'd like me to ask David Lynch and the cast? Hit me with them on our Facebook page (link is below)!]

Another long episode, you guys. Look, we're living in trying times and everyone has a different means of coping. Please enjoy the sugar-laden insanity -- also, Starburst Jelly Beans are the sh*t!

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NEWS:

• A "Judge Dredd" TV show is finally in the works!
• Donald Glover and his brother Stephen will write, executive produce and act as showrunners on FXX newest Marvel animated series, "Deadpool."
• "The Lego Movie" is getting an animated spinoff on Cartoon Network called "Unikitty!"
• After thirteen months, ABC has plans in place to revive "American Idol" -- which is convenient since Ryan Seacrest is now Kelly Ripa’s new cohost.
• Jennifer Morrison is leaving "Once Upon a Time," leaving fans wondering how the new season will look without Emma Swan.
• Netflix has renewed "13 Reasons Why" for a second season because of course they did.
• NBC has two live musicals in the works: "Bye Bye Birdie" for a live December telecast and "Jesus Christ Superstar" for a live Easter 2018 telecast.
• The very conservative Sinclair Broadcast Group (think, further right than FOX News) has bought Tribune for $3.9 billion leaving questions about WGN America’s future and its flagship show “Underground.”

Network Renewals/Cancelations:

• NBC - "Timeless" and "Powerless" canceled. All of Dick Wolf’s Chicago shows (except "Justice") renewed. "Blindspot" has been renewed for a Season 3 and "Taken" renewed for a Season 2.
• ABC - "Last Man Standing" has been canceled after 6 Seasons. "Scandal" is expected to end after Season 7. "Modern Family" has been renewed for Seasons 9 and 10.
• CW - "No Tomorrow" and "Frequency" have both been canceled after 1 Season.
• FOX - “Sleepy Hollow” and “Rosewood” have been canceled. "Last Man on Earth," "Lucifer," "Lethal Weapon" and "Gotham" have all been renewed. 

AARON’S LOSERS: The "Preacher" Season 2 promo campaign, "The Great Indoors" and "Sense8."

JACK’S LOSERS: "Truth and Iliza" and "Great News" 

AARON’S FENCERS: "Bosch," "Bill Nye Saves the World" and "The Last Man on Earth"

JACK’S FENCERS: "Batman and Bill," "The Therapist," "Catastrophe" and "The Last Man On Earth"

AARON’S WINNERS: Hulu's new Live TV platform, "Soundtracks," "Believer with Reza Aslan," "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert," "Riverdale," "Twin Peaks," "The Leftovers," "Better Call Saul," "American Gods" and "The Handmaid’s Tale" 

JACK’S WINNERS: "Desus & Mero," "Lip Sync Battle," "The Handmaid’s Tale," "American Gods" and "The White Princess"

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Look, there was A LOT of news this week. We apologize, we go long. We always go long -- but we go really long here. So instead of writing all about going long, let's just get into it...

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NEWS:

• The WGA narrowly avoided going on strike as talks with the Alliance Of Motion Picture And Television Producers went into overtime -- a deal was put in place at roughy 1:00 am Tuesday morning. 
• HBO is currently developing four different “Game of Thrones” spinoff ideas. “Each of the four projects will explore different time periods of Martin’s sprawling world of Westeros. It’s unclear where any of the four fall in the show’s universe — meaning they could be prequels, sequels or spinoffs.”
• Anne Rice is now working with Paramount TV to develop “The Vampire Chronicles” to series. No word yet on which network the show will land at but it’s very possible Paramount TV -- formerly known as Spike TV -- will be taking it for themselves.
• Sundance has renewed “Hap and Leonard” for a third season.
• FOX has canceled “Pitch” after one season.
• Hulu has ordered a second season for “Handmaid’s Tale.”
• Hulu has officially announced they’re getting into the Marvel game with “Runaways” which will premiere to the service later this year.
• Hulu has officially launched its own live TV service. And...?
• On May 9, Stephen Colbert’s Late Show will practically be a Daily Show reunion with Jon Stewart, Samantha Bee, John Oliver, Ed Helms and Rob Corddry coming by for a “special evening of comedy and conversation”
• “13 Reasons Why” has added more trigger warnings because, suicide is bad.
• News hit last week that a “Roseanne” revival was in the works -- but Roseanne Barr took to Twitter to debunk the rumor. She’d love it to happen, but it looks like it isn’t just yet.
• There’s a “Boondock Saints” prequel TV series in development. There’s no network assigned as of yet.
• Jesse Eisenberg has been tapped to write, direct and star in a new half-hour comedy series titled “The Market.” The show is from Bad Robot and "centers on the recently widowed Harold Katzman who moves to Pittsburgh to live with his adult son, Stan (Eisenberg). Both men simultaneously lose their jobs due to the changing American economy and are thrust into an unforgiving job market."

AARON’S LOSER: "Supernatural" and "Great News"

JACK’S LOSERS: "The President Show"

AARON’S FENCERS: "The President Show," "Mary Kills People," "Last Man on Earth," "Bill Nye Saves the World" and "Fargo."

JACK’S FENCERS: "Great News," "Truth and Iliza" and "Victorian Slum House."

AARON’S WINNERS:

VIVA LA RESISTANCE SHOWS!:

• "Guerilla"
• "Burn Motherfucker Burn"
• "The Lost Tapes: LA Riots"
• "Dear White People"
• "The Handmaid’s Tale"

Also... "Catastrophe," "Parts Unknown," "Better Call Saul," "The Leftovers" and "American Gods"

JACK’S WINNERS: "Jimmy Kimmel Live," "The White Princess," "Last Man on Earth," Bob's Burgers," "Handmaid's tale" and "American Gods"

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Every time we attempt a shorter episode, Punch Drunk TV just gets longer. So, for those out there irked by episodes that last over two hours -- we thank you for taking any time to listen, even if it's not for the entirety of the episode.

Aaron got to see Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 early which caused us to record the show at a later hour on a different night of the week. So, it's an odd episode -- but we also break down what this pending WGA strike may mean to the current television slate and your favorite shows returning this fall.

Finally, did you like 13 Reasons Why? Please tell us why at our Twitter or Facebook. Inquiring minds and all that...

NEWS:

• FOX has ordered another season of “The X-Files” -- which will be 10 episodes this time and premiere in the 2017 - 2018 season.
• Hulu is making “Locke and Key” into a TV series with the help of “Bates Motel” EP Carlton Cuse and “Doctor Strange” director Scott Derrickson.
• A DC Comics digital streaming service is coming, with a new live action “Titans” series and the animated revival of “Young Justice,” called “Young Justice: Outsiders”
• NBC has pulled the plug on “Powerless.” It’s not officially canceled, but no more episodes will be airing on the network, so….
• Amazon will premiere “The Tick” reboot series on August 25. Be excited...?
• AMC renewed “Into the Badlands” for a 16-episode third season.
• MTV is looking to reboot “Scream” for Season 3. It’ll return for just six episodes, have a brand new cast and Queen Latifah has joined the show as executive producer. Sure.
• TBS has hired Shaq to host a new e-sports game show called “The eLeague Street Fighter V Invitational Celebrity Showdown.” The Street Fighter-themed series will see Shaq face off against rapper Lupe Fiasco, NFL running back Reggie Bush, and WWE Superstar Natalie Eva Marie and will air on Friday, April 28 -- and all four players will compete for a $45,000 pot that’ll be donated to charity.

AARON’S LOSERS: "Prison Break," "Gotham" and "13 Reasons Why"

JACK’S LOSERS: "Trial and Error" and "Making History"

AARON’S FENCERS: "Genius," "24: Legacy," "Fargo" and "MST3K"

JACK’S FENCERS: "MST3K," "Harlots," "Class" and "Cosplay Melee"

AARON’S WINNERS: "Cosplay Melee," "The Detour," "Better Call Saul," "Bates Motel," "Handmaid’s Tale" and "American Gods"

JACK’S WINNERS: "The White Princess," "Handmaid’s Tale" and "The Toy Box"

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Been a long couple of weeks -- and some big news leads Aaron on a pretty long tangent. Prepare yourselves and join us for another lengthy drunken excursion inside your televisions...

NEWS:

• Netflix is adapting the classic horror film "Haunting of Hill House" to series and Mike Flanagan -- the director behind Oculus, Hush, Ouija: Origins of Evil and the upcoming Stephen King adaptation of Gerald’s Game -- will helm the series.
• TNT passed on the "Let the Right One" In TV series  -- and it’s now being shopped to other networks. Do we need this?
• Donald Sutherland will play J. Paul Getty in Danny Boyle’s new FX series "Trust" which will “take place in 1973, when the young heir John Paul Getty III is kidnapped in Rome and his mafia captors are banking on a multimillion-dollar ransom from his wealthy family.”
• Comedian Charlie Murphy Is Dead At 57 After A Leukemia Battle
• Hulu’s renewed "The Path" for Season 3
• Ricky Martin has been cast as Gianni Versace’s long-time lover Antonio D’Amico in Season 3 of "American Crime Story."
• VH1 announced a bonkers new slate including:
• • "Scared Famous," in which a bunch of supposed celebrities live together in a spooky house
  • The scripted “Daytime Divas,” a drama based on Star Jones’ thinly veiled anti-View attack novel, Satan’s Sisters.
  • “’90s House,” a Real World-esque reality show in which ’90s person Lance Bass will preside over a house full of Generation Z-ers who’ve had their smartphones and wifi taken away. The show promises to “reboot” all the coolest ’90s moments its young cast members absolutely will not remember, as they desperately try to figure out dial-up internet so they can Alta-Vista “Who the hell is Lance Bass?”
• MTV And Ludacris Are Bringing Back ‘Fear Factor’ For Anxious Millennials.

AARON’S LOSERS: Dimension 404, The Gorburger Show and American Playboy: The Hugh Hefner Story

JACK’S LOSERS: American Playboy: The Hugh Hefner Story and The Gorburger Show

AARON’S FENCERS: The Get Down, Prison Break, The Son, Archer and 13 Reasons Why 

JACK’S FENCERS: The Son, First Dates and Riverdale

AARON’S WINNERS: The Real Ghostbusters, Detroiters, 24: Legacy, Underground, Bates Motel, Rick and Morty and Better Call Saul

JACK’S WINNERS: Mike Tyson Mysteries, Check it Out, Venture Brothers, Maron and The Real O’Neals

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After a brief hiatus, we have returned. Are you excited? We are!

Aaron was gone working at Wondercon last week and has a bunch of stories to tell. But you'll just need to listen to the episode to see...

NEWS:

• YouTube TV went live this week, offering customers a month free trial. The service is $35 dollars and they’re offering complimentary Chromecasts during these first few months.
• Freeform has order Marvel’s "New Warriors" to series. The 30-min live action series will premiere in 2018.
• Marvel’s "Cloak and Dagger" has received a 10-episode order at Freeform.
• NBC has added two more episodes to the "Will & Grace" revival, bringing the season to 12 episodes.
• FXX has canceled "Man Seeking Woman" after three seasons.
• Netflix has ordered a third season of "A Series of Unfortunate Events" before Season 2 has even premiered.
• Comedy Central has given "The Daily Show’s" Jordan Klepper his own show that will fill the Nightly Show’s former timeslot.
• Anonymous Content has picked up the TV adaptation rights to "Sleeping Beauties," an upcoming novel from Stephen King and his son Owen. The story's set in the future where women get put in cocoons when they go to sleep and get transported to “another place,” leaving the men behind to do “increasingly primal” things. Whaaaa?

AARON’S LOSERS: "Rebel" and "13 Reasons Why"

JACK’S LOSERS: "Iron Fist" and "Imaginary Mary"

AARON’S FENCERS: "The Path," "Prison Break" and "Sleepy Hollow"

JACK’S FENCERS: "Dimension 404," "Legion," "Brockmire"

AARON’S WINNERS: Dave Chappelle & Louis C.K. Netflix specials, "Bates Motel," "Brockmire," "Underground" and "Legion"

JACK’S WINNERS: "Detroiters," "Bravest Warriors," "Archer: Dreamland," "Rick and Morty" and "Attack on Titan"

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NEWS:

• Netflix has created a new button to help skip opening credits -- currently, only available through the browser.
• Former Olympian and "Dancing with the Stars" champion Kristi Yamaguchi tweeted "Can't wait to see you grace that ballroom floor, break a leg!" to Nancy Kerrigan ahead of her DWtS appearance. If you'll recall, Tonya Harding had her leg broken in 1994
• The ‘Archer’ team made an app that could change the way we watch television
• JJ Abrams and Rupaul have teamed up to make a dramedy series about Rupaul’s rise from "club kid to drag queen, gay icon, and global star." The drama will be set in New York City during the Reagan-era 1980s.
• Rob Lowe will star in a reality series with his two sons where they will solve supernatural mysteries. The show will be called "The Lowe Files."
• In its Season 3 return, "The Carmichael Show" will air the N-word unedited, multiple times because fuck it? Or as Carmichael says: “Using the N-word is childish, just say it!”
• "The Knick" has officially been canceled by Cinemax.  

AARON’S LOSERS: "The New V.I.P.s," "Star," "Iron Fist"

JACK’S LOSERS: "The Catch," "Iron Fist," "Making History"

AARON’S FENCERS: "Samurai Gourmet," "New Girl," "Into the Badlands," "The Walking Dead," "Bates Motel"

JACK’S FENCERS: "Snatch," "Shots Fired"

AARON’S WINNERS: "Last Man on Earth," "Marvelous Mrs. Maisel," "Hap and Leonard," "Underground," "Lethal Weapon," "Legion"

JACK’S WINNERS: "Kicking and Screaming," "Trial and Error," "Andi Mack"

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In this week's episode of Punch Drunk TV, we move on from the weekly topic of bad/good finales and want to know: Who are your favorite television characters that are on TV currently? (JUGHEAD, FOREVER!)

Also, quick question... Who in their right mind would chug chocolate milk after a long run? Besides Jack, that is...?

NEWS:

• "Game of Thrones" Season 7 will premiere July 16, 2017
• The CW has renewed "Riverdale" for a second season
• Even though "Logan" ends the original X-Men movie franchise, Patrick Stewart has said he’s open to making a cameo as Professor X on "Legion." So… let’s make that happen!
• FX has renewed "Baskets" for a 3rd season
• FX has renewed "Taboo" for a 2nd season
• Shannon Purser (aka Barb from "Stranger Things") will star in a new NBC pilot titled “Drama High.” Inspired by the story of groundbreaking high school drama teacher Lou Volpe as chronicled in the book Drama High, written by one of Volpe’s students, Michael Sokolove. The hourlong project revolves around an extraordinary working-class high school drama department and the incredible students who come alive under a passionate teacher and family man whose dedication to the program galvanizes the entire town
• Fred Savage, otherwise known as Aaron’s TV twin (according to Jack), will host a new game show called “Child Support.” It’s executive produced by Ricky Gervais. In the hour-long studio show, contestants will be asked to answer 10 questions correctly to win. If they answer one incorrectly, they can be saved by a panel of children ages six to nine, who will be asked the same question by Gervais.
• Allison Brie and Dan Harmon will guest star on "Dr. Ken," making for a mini “Community” reunion. EW further reports that the installment will find Ken Jeong’s semi-autobiographical character auditioning for fake Dan Harmon’s fake show, and having to read opposite fake Alison Brie. The episode is set to air March 31.
• Jimmy Fallon is being pressured to make "The Tonight Show" edgier due to Colbert’s stellar ratings. Can he do it?

AARON’S LOSERS: "Sleepy Hollow," "Imposters" and "MacGyver"

JACK’S LOSERS: "The Simpsons," "Superior Donuts," "Time After Time" and "Making History"

AARON’S FENCERS: "Ghost Brothers," "Humans," "Time After Time," "National Treasure," "24: Legacy" and "The Walking Dead"

JACK’S FENCERS: "The Adventures of Doctor Buckeye Bottoms" and "When We Rise"

AARON’S WINNERS: "Last Man on Earth," "Lethal Weapon," "Supernatural," "Underground," "Bates Motel," "Feud" and "Legion"

JACK’S WINNERS: "Riverdale"

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After a week off, we have returned to bring you the latest television news that brings the joy and... THE RAGE! We have another question to present to you dear listeners: What TV show finales ended right? Tell us your thoughts on this, or else!

NEWS:

• JJ Abrams and Stephen King have teamed up to bring a new anthology series to Hulu titled “Castle Rock” -- basically giving free reign to Stephen King’s universe on the small screen
• AMC is bringing a new talk show to basic cable: A 60-min show, in the similar format as "Talking Dead" titled "Talking with Chris Hardwick" is set to premiere on April 9
• YouTube has joined the ranks of Hulu, Amazon and Netflix with a new service: YouTubeTV. For $35 a month you get a fairly complete package: In addition to the broadcast networks, you also get all the major news channels, ESPN, USA, FX, Oxygen, E!, Disney Channel, National Geographic, and, most importantly, local affiliates. If that’s not enough, you can, of course, add channels and you also get a cloud DVR with unlimited storage, plus six accounts. Your move, Hulu.
• Ryan Murphy already announced the second season of "Feud" and it’s going to be all about… Princess Diana and Prince Charles!? They were married on July 29, 1981 — the ceremony was watched by an estimated 750 million people worldwide — before separating in 1992 and divorcing in 1996. There’s no word on the specific “feud” Murphy will cover.
• "Gotham" has cast its Ra’s Al Ghul -- Alexander Siddig, who played Julian Bashir on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" and Doran Martell on "Game of Thrones" will be taking on the role.
• Anson Mount -- aka Bohannon on "Hell on Wheels" -- will play Black Bolt on Marvel’s "Inhumans"
• ABC is planning to reboot the classic series “Battle of the Network Stars”
• Alec Baldwin may have left "SNL," but he’s planning on writing a fake Donald Trump memoir… so there’s that
• And finally, Showtime is bringing "The Circus" back for a second season and it’ll focus on Donald Trump’s first 100 days in office. They’ll be “capturing pivotal moments,” conducting interviews with “key figures,” and “offering critical analysis of the stories behind each week’s headlines.” The series will return on March 19.

AARON’S LOSERS: "Big Little Lies"

JACK’S LOSERS: "Journey with Dylan Dreyer"

AARON’S FENCERS: "The Path" and "Powerless"

JACK’S FENCERS: "Big Little Lies," "Ultimate Beastmaster," "Taken" and "Patriot"

AARON’S WINNERS: The Oscars, "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert," "The History of Comedy," "Chef’s Table," "Patriot," "The Breaks," "Crashing," "Legion" and 'Bates Motel"

JACK’S WINNERS: "Riverdale," "Detroiters," "Legion" and "Star"

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