Is THIS the best episode of Hitting the Breaks? Rob Schneider fans say "Huh?"

WHOA! If you spell swears is it bad? Hit your f-u-c-k-i-n-g breaks and find out d-i-c-k-l-i-c-k

Pureflix hit us up anytime for that sponsorship!

Rate us 5 stars you heathens!

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At no point in this movie does he take a selfie

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Neither of us wanted to be there so we just talked about Andrew Dice Clay instead!

SAMSON SIMPSON! I stick by my story!

This week the boyums (because they put the Yum in Boyum) are watching the 2018 PUREFLIX original Samson!

PUREFLIX YOU DID IT AGAIN YOU A GENIUS!

Samson is the stupidest "man" in the Bible for real. Also God's rules for Samson are stupid. No wine, no touching dead bodies, no cutting your hair?!?!! What else is left in life? I want to scalp myself while high fiving a dead body and butt chugging a nice Riesling. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK GOD?!?!?! Are you there God? It's me Johnothon Toilet Toilet!

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Y'all! Zacharoni Obama cracked the code on this one! He Nancy Drewed his way through the opening credits of Hitting the Breaks and tracked down the actual race footage they used for the crash. Amazing! Head over to our Twitter to see it!

Pureflix we hope you paid Nascar for that footage! If so please hit us up for that sponsorship!

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Did you know that God has updated his rules for getting into heaven 3 times?! She moves in mysterious ways!!

F the 10 commandments! There's only 1 rule for getting into heaven now and it's a real son of a b*tch. The writer of this movie is a coward who wants to say something but doesn't have the nuts to actually come out and say it. I won't reveal it here (irony!) because it's worth the journey through this episode. This movie made us so mad but it's nice to be back getting right with God.

We're finally back to the good good God movies. Feels good to be home baby!

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Zacharoni Obama is flying solo on this one. We've been following the journey of Lil Nas X and Montero for months now and it's finally out! Zach gives you the breakdown of a lifetime! Lil Nas X is now the official artist of The Pure Boys. Sorry it's now official. Take that all you liberal soy boy cuck lords

Dan is a liar and an idiot. Dan hates his wife and lies to her all the time. Dan is a bad husband.

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I met a nun who wiped her nose on her clothes... she had a nasty habit!

Whoopster is back! Chatty Dajimi is back! Abraham Omaha is back! Lauryn Hill is making her film debut!

Whoop Whoop gets guilted into teaching a bunch of peckerheads how to sing... but this time "peckerhead" refers to students and not nuns! Will she whip them into shape in time for the big competition? Yeah duh? 

Man people were starved for entertainment before the internet. Could you even imagine buying tickets to go to a frickin choir concert?! Who the hell?!

We'll see you next week when WE get back in the habit of actually reviewing CHRISTIAN CINEMA!

Pureflix hit us up! Even though we watched THIS movie on Disney+ that doesn't mean we don't still love you!

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If you want excruciating detail on a Hitting the Breaks episode look no further. We go deeper than we've ever gone before on HTB! David and your dyed blonde hair take note! This is what we would offer as employees of Pureflix. HIT! US! UP!

Consider this our audition

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