YAAAHHHH WEHHHHH!!!

This is probably the least good movie we've watched so far in Cowgirl Summer TM. But Yes I Super Picky TM so what do you expect?

New segment alert! Zach brings some new freaky energy to the show with his new sexy segment. Does he steamroll the show again? You bet!

This movie is sloppy as heck. The plot just leaves threads dangling worse than my saddle sore behind. Rodeo is a friggin HORSE not a man and there is NO beastiality. Look, i get that calling it Rodeo & Juliet is a friggin slam dunk of a name but they don't even fall in love. What is the point? Juliet's love interest is a dweebus named Monty. Monty Gue? More like Monty "Here comes the" glue amirite?

Next week is gonna be a banger and a pallet cleanser so hang on to your cowgirl hat like you're riding around the ring holding a huge American flag. 

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Rock Hudson (1925-1985)

Freddie Mercury (1946-1991)

Anthony Perkins (1932-1992)

Arthur Ashe (1943-1993)

Eazy-E (1964-1995)

Liberace (1919-1987)

Slitcherace (2001-2021)

We love you! Happy Canada Day! Don't die of Aids this year!

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YAAAAAAAHHH WEEEEHHHHH!

If you loved "Hope's Legacy" you'll kind of like "Christmas Ranch"! In this Prequel, Lizzy is a "bad girl" who gets sent to live with her Grandma over the Christmas break (but then also beyond that because FRICK SCHOOL!)

There she meets Hope (a horse who just won't eat) and James (the boy next door with a butt that just won't quit). Will they fall in love and save the ranch? Yes obviously because we accidentally reviewed the sequel last week. But who cares! 

Lizzy's dad is played by a different, objectively worse, actor! 

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Strap in for the saddest Malibu Dan episode yet! Arlen's life is SO SAD. He's alone and while he doesn't mind being alone, he's tired of being lonely. Oh god Arlen. Arlen turns 50 and has the most depressing birthday imaginable. It honestly would have been better if NOTHING happened on his birthday. That would have been infinitely better than what actually happens. I don't want to spoil anything for you listeners but jeezuz louiseus what an absolute gut punch this episode is.

Arlen deserved better.

If you'd like to talk to us about YOUR sad life send an email to [email protected] or @pureboyspodcast on Twitter

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The best thing about being a cowgirl... is getting to see a 

BIG! HORSE! DONGER!

Lizzy inherited her dead grandma's ranch and wants to compete in Horsie Triathalon! But first she needs the help from Glammother (Golden Globe and 3 time Academy Award Nominated Dyan Cannon), her grandma's best friend (even though she didn't live in the same country so how close could they have actually been?). Her main rival in competition AND love is Big Red, a haughty loser with no life outside of horses. 

Will Lizzy get married? Tune in and find out!

Head on over to @pureboyspodcast on Twitter to see a sweet pic of Legacy's donger. It's a beaut even though he's playing a female horse in the movie.

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We love you!

Respect ya neck! Big up yaself! Chet Hanks in da house (not really but we did record this shortly after Chet released his famous "White Boy Summer" video)! 

BU BU BU! 

If you love borderline offensive Jamaican accents and Yizz talk than THIS episode is for YOU! Zach and Johnny go off the rails and barely talk about the wackiest episode of Malibu Dan yet. But hey, their Yizz Empire grows larger so big up yaself for that ya bumbaclot. 

Heads up, Zach is pretty insufferable in this episode so... frick him right?

Also Malibu Dan the Family Man steals a joke from Christian Comedian Jeff Allen WHOLESALE. Zach is filled with righteous anger about it but Johnny leaves him hanging. Does this make Zach freak out... listen and find out! Shoutout to Just For Laughs in the 90's for introducing Zach to this bit and BIG UPS to Jeff Allen for keepin it clean all these years! 

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YEEEE HAW this one isn't really about Cowgirls at all. But there is horses and girls riding and loving horses so close enough!

Misty is a horse that is played by Halle Bopp (also a horse) and gets her name in the opening credits. Does she have a SAG card now? Who knows!

Amanda loves Misty and wants her to do well. She wants to be a horse jumper. She wants to not end up alone and sad like Charolette. Amanda is 7 years old.

This episode walks a very thin line on what is appropriate so hit us up anytime for that sponsorship PureFlix! We Love You!!

Also John Schneider played Bo Duke. Tom Wopat who played Luke Duke was arrested for indecent assault on a 16 year old in 2019. "Someday the mountain might get him but the law never will" PSYCH

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New sets, Old sets! So much bedroom action! Kate in a nightie! Holliday Sinclair is a real character now! Malibu Dan "Reloaded" is a real treat (disclaimer... we're referring to the back half of the season as "Reloaded" because it IS a different show). Kate doesn't know anything about her husband and can't buy him gifts. She also is too lazy to make supper so she just puts out a salad. Shame. We barely talk about selling piss in this one! Barely. It's still there but there's just a lot less. We do tell some poo stories though so strap in for that. What is this show becoming? This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife.

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The best thing about being a 15 year old washout gymnast... is getting to have a COWGIRL SUMMER!!! YEEEHAWWWW

Samantha (Sam if you're nasty) Wick is a washout gymnast who's grandma sends her to Black River Summer Camp (a real place). 

https://www.blackriverfarmandranch.com/

There she learns not to be a total B to everyone and how to perform Horse Vaulting which is just gymnastics on a horse. But the real story is that the camp is getting shut down and they need to raise money to save it! 

Will the ladies accomplish their goal of raising money and saving the camp? The fact that there is a sequel to this movie would indicate that they do!

Ricard Karn is in this and he's looking sunburnt and totally hunky. 

Isn't it funny that God murdered the world with a silly little floody floody?

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Head to our OnlyFans for the hottest feet pics in the hottest jars of Yizz. Yes this is real. We are actually selling feet pics in jars of Yizz. You decide what Yizz iz. If you Haiti that idea you can get fricked. We're trying to retire by 35 and how else are we gonna make a milli? Hard work? Get Fricked Bud! Pure Flix hit us up anytime for that sponsorship We love you!

Also Malibu Dan the actual TV show gets a major glow up.

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