Purpose For Your Life

I’ve been thinking these days about how our perception of people changes when we allow ourselves to get to know them.

Prefer to read? The content continues below:

I read about a woman who was wrongly convicted of murder and spent a number of years on death row. She said the guards weren’t allowed to speak to her because if they got to know her as a fellow human being it might have affected how they treated her.

As I’ve volunteered with ex-offenders and with those in prison, my perceptions about them have changed as well. Whatever poor choices they’ve made, or harm they’ve caused, they are still made in the image of God, and over the years I’ve seen many people become the men and women God meant them to be.

When we get to know someone as a person, I think it changes our level of compassion, often in positive ways. For instance, many years ago, when one of my granddaughters was a young teen, she decided to make sandwiches and give them out to the homeless in downtown Toronto. I walked with her, but every time she saw someone sitting on the street, I tried to talk her out of approaching them. I was afraid they might yell at her for giving them food instead of money. It took my volunteering at a homeless shelter to realize what kind and gentle people many of the homeless are, and to realize their situations sometimes are the result of years of neglect and abuse such as I could never imagine. Today I count it as a privilege to be able to serve them.

That’s why I was so bothered to hear that someone in our area went to one of the homeless camps out in the bush near the city and set one of the tents on fire while a homeless couple slept inside. They were able to get out safely, but why was that necessary? Do people really think the homeless prefer to live outside in the middle of a cold and snowy Canadian winter?

True, some are drug addicts or are mentally ill, but we need facilities to treat them, rather than ignoring them or hoping they will go away. We also need to see those on the street as people. Why not smile or say hello as we walk by a homeless person? Sure, they might ignore you, or ask you for money. Or if they feel delusional they may yell at you to go away. Then again, they may smile back, and all of a sudden you see that man or woman the way God sees them – and your perception is forever changed.

Have a wonderful day and be a blessing to someone else, Carol

When we bought our house it was listed as a fixer-upper since it was so long since it had been properly cared for. Once we started cleaning, we discovered many high-end feature that the builder had included, but because of neglect and abuse, it was hard to tell.

Prefer to read? The content continues below:

The book ‘Misfits Welcome’ by Matthew Barnett tells such a story, about a broken man named Barry.

Barry had an abusive childhood. He had been locked away in at attic until he was seven years old, having his food brought to him and being cut off from the rest of his family. Barry didn’t find out until later on in life that he had been hidden away because the family felt disgraced because his birth was the result of incest.

As a result of the neglect, Barry was experimenting with drugs by the time he was eleven and became a teen addict. In spite of the drugs, Barry still managed to get a college degree and a good job, got married and had a family. But the drug use continued and eventually Barry lost everything. At the age of 40 he was homeless and living under a bridge. Under the bridge became his home for 17 long years. Kids called Barry the Bridge Troll because he had hair down to his waist, a long beard, and was very dirty.

Then one day someone saw Barry and cared. They took him some food and invited him to church. He went and his life took a turn. Six years later, Barry went to Bible school and now cares for the homeless and shares his story. Barry was the kind of man we would pass by and say “He is too far gone to change,” but God created him as a beautiful masterpiece.

Barry’s story reminded me of the day we received some pears from our neighbour’s tree. I didn’t want to eat any of them. They were misshapen and marred looking, not appealing to me at all. But I hated to throw the pears out without at least tasting one, in case I was ever asked how I liked them. As I peeled away the outer, ugly layer, the pear began to look better. Yet I was still nervous about taking a bite. How could anything so ugly taste any good? But when I bit into the pear, it was delicious. Ripe and juicy, exactly right. And then God reminded me how often I look at the people I meet in the same outward and judgmental way, deciding without knowing all the goodness that might be inside. How much I am missing by doing that?

Have a wonderful rest of the week and don't forget to see those around you the way God see them, Carol

These days, many of the conversations around me center on questions about Covid. What are the numbers for today? What phase are we in? What about school and work? What about..? What if ….?

I don’t know about you, but those conversations make me feel like I’m on a little, storm-tossed boat and the circumstances are going to be the end of me.

Would you rather read? The content is below:

Even though God has said He will never let us be shaken, it’s so hard to cast our cares on the Lord when we feel so weak and small and the problems attacking us are so big.

I was encouraged this week when I read a story in the Old Testament, in 2nd Chronicles, chapter 20. It goes like this:

When Jehoshaphat was king of Judah, an army came to start a war against him. He was afraid and decided to ask the Lord what to do. Jehoshaphat prayed “God, they have come to force us out of your land. We have no power against this large army that is attacking us. We don’t know what to do. So we look to you for help.”

Then one of the priests stood up and said “King Jehoshaphat, the Lord says don’t be afraid or discouraged because of this large army. The battle is not your battle. It is God’s battle”. Then the king and the people were told they didn’t need to fight, just stand strong in their places and they would see the Lord save them.

The next morning, King Jehoshaphat reminded the people to have faith in the Lord their God and stand strong. Then he placed singers in front of the army and as they began to sing and praise God, the Lord set ambushes for the enemy army. Instead of waiting to fight against the people of Judah, the enemy army all turned on one another and began to kill each other.

By the time the men from Judah came to the area where the enemies were camped, there was no enemy waiting to fight. All they found were dead bodies lying on the ground. King Jehoshaphat and his people won the victory without raising a hand.

I'm wishing you a worry free day, filled with singing, Carol

Have you heard of Jessica Cox, the world's first licensed armless pilot, as well as the first armless black-belt in the American Taekwondo Association.

Prefer to read? The text continues below:

Jessica was born in 1983 and due to a rare birth defect, she was born without arms. In spite of that, Jessica flies airplanes, drives cars, and otherwise lives a normal life using her feet as others use their hands.

Jessica’s mother often said, “There are no limits to what you can do and who you can be.” Jessica was enrolled in the public school and learned to adapt to her situations until she found a way to do things herself. She was participating in gymnastics by age three, swimming by five, tap dancing by six, and taekwondo at the age of ten.

As a teen, Jessica stopped using her prosthetic arms and learned to use her chin and shoulders and with a lot of practice, her feet and toes started doing much of what a hand and fingers could do. Taekwondo helped in learning creativity, gaining dexterity and building her confidence. At 14, she had her first black belt in Taekwondo.

To Jessica, the word ‘impossible’ really means I’m possible, and as a motivational speaker, she reminds her audiences of that fact.

Jessica gives herself time to reinvent how things are usually done, calling it ‘Thinking Outside the SHOE’.€ That acronym stands for: Self-imposed Limitations, Habits, Over Complication, and Excuses. It means getting rid of the fears, excuses and false limits we place on ourselves. To make the absolute best of all we’ve been given and live our lives to the fullest. To express our gratitude daily because we have so much to be grateful for.

One of the things that impressed me most when watching Jessica’s videos is the fact that she mentions people’s reactions to her difference. Not to her disability, but to her difference. I appreciated that because I have a daughter who was also born with a difference. In fact, many years ago I wrote a poem for her and in many ways it encompasses the view that Jessica Cox has taken towards her life.

Different

I don’t know how to tell you Just what to do or say, When thoughtless, shallow people Turn their heads and look away.

They take their health for granted, Their eyes and ears and limbs, And when they see you’re not the same They sigh and sing their hymns.

I’m sorry you were born this way, I’d like to make you whole. But imperfections of the body Have no bearing on the soul.

There will be times of darkness When you will sit and cry. The cruel, heartless staring Will make you want to die.

They don’t know what it’s like to be A babe born incomplete. So raise your head and wipe your eyes, You won’t accept defeat.

There’s a world out there to conquer. You can make it if you try. Don’t let self-pity swallow you. My child, hold your head high.

© Carol Bremner

I'm reading a book about the Depression called 'We Had Everything But Money'. One chapter is titled 'When the Banks Closed, Our Hearts Opened'. Even though the hard times our world is experiencing right now are different from those of the depression, there are a lot of lessons we can learn from the courage and endurance of the people in those days.

Prefer to Read?   Content continues below:

Hard times forced many to sell apples on street corners to support their families. Those who still had jobs did their part to help by buying the produce. In story after story, the hard circumstances that people found themselves in gave birth to a real care for their families and for one another.

For example, a farming family deposited a check for about $1,200 that they'd earned for the full year's crops, keeping out only $5 for groceries. A few minutes later, the bank closed - permanently - and that $5 was all the family had. To make matters worse, their six-year-old tried to find something in a dark closet by lighting a match and although he got out safely, their home burnt to the ground.

The family temporarily moved in with relatives. Soon after, all their friends and neighbours got together and brought whatever they could spare from their own homes so that this family could be encouraged and begin their lives again.

There were no jobs in the 1930's, even the farmers weren't hiring. Thousands rode boxcars in hope of finding work. Thanks to the generosity of those who shared their food, many of those men didn't go hungry.

Here are some of the stories and comments from the people who lived through that time in history:

* "As we look back now on those long-ago years, we realize they weren't all that bad. We not only survived, we may well have become better and stronger people for the experience." * "Depression years, yet I always remember them with a smile." * "In both good times and bad, our parents always had time for us. We never had much money, but we had all the love any parents could possibly give their children." * "My grandparents taught me a lot about life, They taught me not to judge a book by its cover, and that money means nothing compared to decency and character. When someone wandered by and needed a meal, they found some small task for that person to do so that they could feel they'd worked for their food." * "The Depression was terrible in some ways, but taught many Americans a better way to live. We began to not only think more about others, but to help them." * "I'll never forget those years, neighbors helping neighbors, sharing whatever good fortune came their way, doctors rendering services regardless of patients' finances, and worship with friends whose faith far outdistanced their troubles."

I hope in spite of the fear and violence and uncertainty about the future that's swirling around us today, that we can learn to love and have faith for what lies ahead. Just like the generations before us learned to do.

Have a great day, Carol

60 years after the war ended, two old men emerged from the dense jungle of a Philippine island and declared they were soldiers. What does that have to do with us today?

Prefer to read?  The text is below:

The Japanese men, both in their 80s, said they had been hiding on the island after being involved in fierce battles with U.S. forces.

The soldiers had remained in the jungle and mountains since then, unaware that the war had ended 60 years before, and afraid that they would be charged with desertion if they were found. They were afraid and hid, year after year, until their lives were almost over.

Today we have a world-wide epidemic of fear. Many of us have been hiding for months, afraid to leave our homes or even hug our families. Afraid of an unseen enemy that could take our lives.

As an older person, part of the vulnerable population, I also stayed in my home for a long time. Constant negative news and social media updates allowed the fear and despair to creep into my life.

When I finally went out to do some shopping, seeing the people around me with their masks on fed that fear. I could see it in other people too. The young masked woman with her masked husband, pulling him back whenever he got anywhere near someone else. Or the older man walking home with his groceries, not another person in sight, yet still wearing his mask. Or the lone driver of a car, wearing a mask even then.

A recent conversation with the mothers of teens made me realize how many young people are afraid of the thought of going back to school and of taking the school bus, even though their age demographic are less susceptible to the virus. Are we raising a generation full of fear?

I understand that fear, but I refuse to hide any longer, letting my life slip away inside the four walls of my house. My times, and yours, are in God’s hands. I’ve read about people who have been in house explosions and should have died, but they didn’t. Or the freak accidents that never should have caused a death, but they did. No matter how careful we are, how much we try to take care of ourselves, there are no guarantees in life.

And that’s why I choose to leave my home, to greet the people around me, to live while I have the opportunity. If I’m required to wear a mask, I have a face shield. That way I can smile at those I meet, and maybe, just maybe, that smile will chase away the fear that is threatening to swallow them up. We need each other so much, especially in times like this. Why not go and encourage someone today?

Have a wonderful day, Carol Your Chief Encourager

I do a lot of reading and gathering stories, and I’m afraid that this time I forgot to write down the original source so I can give proper credit. This story has two parts and I’ll finish off with one of my own.

Prefer to read?  Here ya go:

While a man was driving down a country road, he lost control of his car and wound up in the ditch. He walked to the closest farmhouse and asked for help pulling the car out. The farmer agreed to hitch up his old mule Dusty and pull the farmer out. But the first time the farmer cracked his whip, he said “Pull Buck, pull” and nothing happened. Again he cracked the whip and yelled “Pull, Clyde, pull” and still nothing happened. The third time, the farmer called “pull, Dusty, pull” and Dusty pulled until the car was finally out of the ditch.

When the man thanked the farmer, he asked why if the mule’s name was Dusty, did he say ‘Pull, Buck’ and ‘Pull, Clyde’. The farmer smiled and explained that since Dusty was old and almost blind, he didn’t have much confidence. If Dusty thought he had to do all the work himself, he would probably have given up and not even tried.

Sometimes we’re like Dusty. We see the mountains God is calling us to climb and we give up even before we start. But that wasn’t the case with Wilma Rudolph.

Wilma was the twentieth of twenty-two children and because of a premature birth, was not expected to live. The doctors were wrong, but when Wilma was four years old, she got pneumonia and scarlet fever, which left her with a paralyzed left leg. At the age of nine, Wilma removed the metal leg brace she had depended on for five years and began walking without it. By thirteen, she had developed a rhythmic walk, which doctors said was a miracle.

That same year, Wilma decided she wanted to compete in races. She entered her first race and came in last. For the next three years, she came in last in every race she entered. But Wilma kept running until the day came that she won a race. Eventually, the little girl who was not supposed to live and then who was not supposed to be able to walk would win three Olympic gold medals in track events.

My mother was born with a heart defect and throughout her childhood was never allowed to participate in sports or be very active. In fact, the doctor told my grandmother that mom wouldn’t live past the age of 18.

Two years ago, my mother did pass away, in her early 90’s. She regretted missing out on so much as a child because of other people’s thoughts and as an adult led a full and energetic life, including horseback riding and curling, as well as raising six children. (that's her in the photo)

Imagine if mom had given up on life all those years ago. She may even have decided not to ever marry or have a family. And I wouldn’t be here to encourage you never to give up – no matter how things may seem, no matter what anyone says, or what may stand in your way. Go out today and climb those mountains!

Have a great day!

CarolYour Chief Encourager

The following story about the duck comes from the book “Will Daylight Come” by Richard Hoefler. It goes like this:

Prefer to read?

A little boy visiting his grandparents was given his first slingshot. Johnny practiced in the woods, but he could never hit his target. As he came back to Grandma’s backyard he spied her pet duck. On an impulse, he took aim with his slingshot and let fly. The stone hit the duck and it fell dead. The boy panicked. Desperately he hid the dead duck in the woodpile, only to look up and see his sister watching. Sally had seen it all.

After lunch that day, Grandma said, “Sally, let’s wash the dishes.” But Sally said, “Johnny told me he wanted to help you in the kitchen today, didn’t you, Johnny?” And she whispered to him “Remember the duck!” So Johnny did the dishes.

Later, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing. Grandma said, “I’m sorry, but I need Sally to help make the supper.” Sally smiled and said, “That’s all taken care of. Johnny wants to do it.” Again, she whispered, “Remember the duck.” Johnny stayed while Sally went fishing. Finally, after several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally’s, he couldn’t stand it. He confessed to Grandma that he had killed the duck.

“I know, Johnny” she said, giving him a hug. “I was at the window and saw the whole thing. But I love you and forgive you. I wondered how long you would let Sally bother you.

God gave each of us a conscience, that little voice inside us that says we shouldn’t have done that. But like the little boy, we try to do good things to make up for it. We try to be so good that we won’t hear that little voice anymore. But God – just like the grandma – sees everything we do and just wants us to confess and say we’re sorry.

Because He loves us, He is more than willing to forgive us. Even though He already knows, He wants us to come to Him and confess. And if we need to confess and ask forgiveness of another person, we need to do that too.

Taking care of our conscience whenever we feel bothered by anything keeps it sensitive and alert. If we make excuses for ourselves and refuse to listen to our conscience, it will eventually become dull and hard. And a world full of people without much of a conscience is a scary world indeed.

Have you ever heard the story of The Mouse Trap  ( author unknown)? It goes like this, with my thoughts added afterwards:

Prefer to Read?

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package. "What food might this contain?" the mouse wondered. He was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning: "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."

The mouse turned to the pig and told him "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The pig sympathized, but said "I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers."

The mouse turned to the cow and said "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The cow said "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose."

So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap alone.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house - like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey. The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital and she returned home with a fever.

Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient. But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig. The farmer's wife did not get well; she died. So many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.

The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness. So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, remember: when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk. We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another. Each of us is a vital thread in another person's tapestry.

Most of our lives may have been fairly self-centered, mainly looking out for ourselves and what’s best for us. But I think with all the turmoil around us these days, we are realizing how interconnected we all are.

I read a puzzle comparison about how each person is like a piece of a jig saw puzzle: each of us is necessary, each of us is entirely unique, not one of us is more or less valuable, when a piece is missing, the whole picture suffers, and we are most effective when we stay connected!

I love that comparison and can see our puzzle coming together in so many ways. People are keeping an eye out for one another. We are making an effort to be an encouragement to those who are struggling. We are appreciating our blessings and the people who help to make those blessings possible. We are taking our eyes off of ourselves and caring for other people. And when this pandemic is over, I look forward to seeing the beautiful puzzle we will have created together.

Have a wonderful day, Carol

Fear is a very present part of our lives at one time or another and can't be avoided. But how we deal with fear can make all the difference.

Wishing you peace and joy in spite of everything going on around us, Carol