AH WHAT'S HAPPENING?? Oh, sorry, I thought there was an international pandemic and freaked out for a minute, excuse me. Luckily my phone went off to wake me from that dream and remind me that none of that's real! Wait... but this alarm is labeled... quarantime. Does that mean it wasn't a dream at all? You bet your bucket! In the inaugural season finale (maybe finale in general?) of America's longest lasting failed experiment, the gang collect their thoughts on the end of quarantine, US re-openings and how they're going to handle them, and smothering things that try to kill you to kill those things instead. It's a rootin-tootin good time! And thanks for listening. Truly :)

Isn't that the siren that's supposed to warn humanity of impending deadly storms or nuclear war? No silly, that's just the sound that tells us it's quarantime! In the inaugural 19th episode of the podcast that "took all the things in my life that were bad and threw them right out that window over there"-one of our neighbors who was talking about cleaning her house, Mom gets all kinds of rattled about Oreos, and we talk 50s sci-fi, in addition to if this truly is the end of the world. So hunker down in your bunkers and tune in to this episode!

Is it time to go outside yet? I certainly hope not, cause it's still quarantime according to my phone, which is in central standard time, a time zone that, due to its being in the middle, is probably the most correct and unbiased! In the inaugural 18th episode of the podcast that "changes every life for the better"-me, the fam talks movie theaters, Brandon's tattoo, and what the end of quarantine would actually even mean. It's the best one out of all of them, I checked.

Ding Dong, the witch is dead! But also, it's quarantime! In the inaugural 17th episode of the podcast that manages to be "nostalgic AND charming (An actual listener of the podcast, for real this time)," the fam talks TV shows they most relate to, fake geography, and the failings of the American education system. It's as nutritious as a big ole stack of pancakes with a glass of OJ on a Tuesday afternoon!

What type is it? Quarantype! That's right, on the inaugural 16th episode of the podcast that everyone you don't talk to is raving about, so to you it would appear no one was, we're talking the Enneagram, Schroeder gets terrified of his leash, and we're all very, very tired. Join us, pals!

Hang on, you're telling me that I've been out cold for the last 20 years, and I woke up just in time for quarantime? In its inaugural 15th episode, the podcast that's been called "'Hauntingly beautiful'-The New York Times review of 'All the Light We Cannot See,'" talks feelings, Justin Bieber TikToks, and a whole lot about cereal. Woot!

As I peer deep into my crystal ball, one image stands out above all... that's right, it's a picture of a clock wearing a hazmat suit, the international symbol for quarantime! In the inaugural 14th episode of the podcast with more weekly listeners than you could count on your hands, we talk the important stuff. Movies are apparently a visual medium! Long snake animals that look like they're from outer space! And of course, delicious brownies. Hop on into that there passenger seat, let's go for a ride!

Is that the buzz of a fruit fly ringing in my ear? No wait... the ringing is my dog Schroeder calling to remind me it's quarantime! In the 13th inaugural episode of the podcast you've heard so much about and are absolutely never going to listen to, the gang talks celebrating a holiday in quarantine, mom ponders the meaning of Watermelon Sugar, and dad kills a fruit fly on mic.

Sorry friends, my watch is actually broken today. So when I say it's quarantime, I'm going out on a limb here! In this here inaugural 12th episode of the world's #1 podcast in the eyes of my grandparents, we talk the important stuff, like the lengths my dad will go to stave off illness, what we're eating while quarantined in the middle of freakin nowhere, and some game called zip my sister made up. Much like Mr. Toad's ride, it's wild. Look it up.

Let's see... if I move the sundial over here just slightly, the shadow says it's quarantime? That's right, in the inaugural 11th episode of the podcast that "proves you definitely can have too much of a good thing. Please stop asking me que--"(-The Queen of England, prior to turning off my iPhone's voice memos app), we talk talking with friends in a time of constant solitude, legos, and baby hedgehogs. It's a good time.